When I first read this story, I relied on Contact Music’s secondhand account, which made it sound like Elijah wrote a whole essay on behalf of smoker’s rights. However I was able to read the full article and Elijah just mentions not being able to smoke outside as one of ten things that he found annoying. The whole article is actually pretty awesome, so while I’ll bitch about Elijah’s point about smoking in a moment I have give him props for writing a intelligent, funny list of things that bug him.

(Some of) Elijah’s Top Ten Irritants
1. Remakes and reboots. Have we not the balls to support original material? Why must the vast majority of our unique pieces be relegated to miniscule budgets and poor exposure, while hundreds of millions of dollars are put toward rehashing used ideas? How about we even out the budgeting a bit. Remember when we chose a little-known Polish director to helm a film about the devil impregnating Mia Farrow?

3. Anti-smoking laws that now extend to outdoor spaces. Can we not let the use of free air be determined by the people using it? Should someone have a problem with roving smoke, they could simply ask the offending smoker if he or she would kindly refrain. Most spaces are smoke free, and I accept that – particularly inside restaurants – but can smokers not have patios and general outdoor areas?

4. Truncated texting. Most of us have full keyboards on our magical mobile devices – use them. It was understandable on numbered keypads and even forgivable with the aid of T9. But now? C u l8r? No, you won’t.

5. Orcs. Ugly f’ers

6.(Most) clubs. Crowds of people dressed in their finery, standing outside, lining up around the block yearning for acceptance – only to enter a loud space with predominantly awful music, bottle service, and neither the room to move nor the ability to utter words that can be heard without shouting. I’ve often wondered why hordes flock to these overstyled douche cantinas.

7. When people aren’t held accountable for their actions. If you f*ck up, deal with it – it’s your responsibility. Somehow we’ve created a world where a person spills coffee on himself, sues the coffee company and wins.

8. Relationship statuses on Facebook. Breaking up with someone in the real world is hard enough. There’s no need to do it digitally. That there’s some weight attached in changing your status from “in a relationship” to “single” is ridiculous.

[From Black Book]

“Overstyled douche cantinas,” that’s priceless!

In terms of the smoking issue, I get headaches from second hand smoke and am extremely sensitive to it. When I’m in Berlin I live in a big apartment building. Since there are so many places where people can smoke in Europe, it’s still very common. People go outside and smoke on their balconies and the smoke inevitably drifts into my windows and bothers me. I wouldn’t dare tell people not to smoke on their own balcony, but it does make me ill. Plus, I’ll be honest, there’s nowhere in the entire city that I can comfortably eat outdoors because so many people smoke. So I have to go inside the restaurant in the summer and smoke still comes inside anyway.

When people are allowed to smoke anywhere outside they often huddle near doors to buildings. Non smokers have to pass through all that smoke and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been affected by clouds of smoke that have stuck to my hair and clothing, right after I got all cleaned up to go out.

It’s also not enough to tell people that we can ask smokers to stop. Elijah Wood is surely considerate about it, as are the majority of most smokers I would guess. Just a few a**holes can ruin it, though. Once I was at a Shakespeare in the Park festival when I was visibly very pregnant and the couple seated right next to us refused to stop smoking because it was “outside.” When my husband pointed out that I was pregnant, the people were like “so?”

So I get that smokers think that it should be fine to smoke outside, but that doesn’t mean that noxious stuff doesn’t bother non-smokers, that air is somehow “free” for the taking, or that we’re all just going to get along fine. Instead of trying to figure out where he can smoke, maybe Elijah should quit. That’s the point of these laws restricting smoking, and if they save lives they’re worth it.

Also, in regard to #7 – I used to feel the same way about the McDonald’s coffee lawsuit until I saw the HBO documentary Hot Coffee. The lady wasn’t driving despite what you may have heard, she was in the passenger seat and the car was parked. She got 3rd degree burns all over her thighs and the photos were horrific. There were hundreds of other burning incidents that McDonalds completely ignored until that lawsuit was brought against them, so I have a different view of it now. I do agree with his statement on personal responsibility though, and I loved reading him bitch about so many different things.

Wood is now starring on a new FX series called Wilfred. Kaiser has been watching it, and she says he’s awesome and that the show is incredible and funny. I can’t wait to check it out!

Wood is shown on 6/20/11. (He’s wearing different outfits but the photos have the same date. Credit: WENN

According to the National Enquirer, Kirstie Alley is now on the nicotine diet. The Dancing With the Stars finalist is reportedly frustrated that her efforts to lose more weight and keep it off aren’t as successful now that she’s no longer exercising for seven hours a day. Kirstie was spotted out smoking in New York, a habit she gave up seven years ago. It could have been a one-off, or Kirstie could be turning back to cigarettes to fight food cravings, if the Enquirer is to be believed.

Kirstie Alley… is so desperate to maintain her recent weight loss that she’s secretly started smoking again. [Kirstie] quit smoking cold turkey in 2004 over health concerns.

But alarmed over regaining 12 pounds since the May 24 DWTS finale, Kirstie has started puffing like a smokestack hoping it will help keep her appetite under control so she can maintain her weight, say sources.

“Since she isn’t dancing seven hours a day anymore and isn’t being watched like a hawk over her calorie intake, she slipped up and went on a junk food bender,” revealed a source…

She started binge eating to fill the void. “Once she started gaining weight, she realized that putting on pounds would only make her feel worse – so she started smoking to help keep the weight off,” explained the insider.

Kirstie was spotted lighting up at New York City’s Vault club on June 23, flaunting the city’s outdoor smoking ban…

“These days whenever Kirstie get the urge to eat, she fires up a cigarette,” said the insider.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, July 18, 2011]

That sucks for Kirstie. I haven’t smoked in about 15 years, but it’s not an easy habit to give up. She probably has found plenty of ways to justify it to herself. I mean this is the woman who truly believes that she’s a size 4 and is moments away from a 22 inch waist. You would think that she would just be happy looking at the fake tags her assistants sew in her clothing and not worry about losing more weight or keeping it off.

Kirstie looks hot though, and you can tell by her duckface that she knows it. (Although she pretty much always looks like that.) Here she is in a tight black dress at an event in New York on Wednesday night. She then had herself papped the next day in tight black leggings and a clingy black v-neck dress. She also wore this about a month prior to another event, on 6/20 at the Bad Teacher NY premiere, and sported a similar look on 6/28 for another pap outing, not that there’s anything wrong with that. She has some great accessories to mix it up.

Wednesday:

Yesterday:

Yesterday:

6/28/11 (differnt dress):

6/20/11:

6/6/11:

Photo credit: WENN and Fame

Catherine Deneuve is 67 years old and while it’s clear she’s had a face lift (which she admits to) or three she doesn’t look completely plastic, unnaturally waxy or puffed up. It’s amazing how great she looks, especially when you consider that she still smokes like a chimney. The legendary French actress even lit up during a photocall for her film Les Bien-Amies (The Beloved) in Cannes.

This looks trashy to my American eyes, but I used to live right next to France and I realize that those bitches smoke much more than we do. It’s culturally acceptable to smoke there and in Europe in general, although I wish for the sake of people’s health that all countries were as intolerant of as the US. That’s about all I’ll say on that topic. Catherine wants you to know that’s she not about to hide her habit and that she’ll smoke during a photocall if she pleases. At least she didn’t smoke at the premiere. Oh wait I’m wrong. (I really wrote that before I realized I was wrong.)

I’m not really familiar with the rest of the actors in this movie, although I googled this chick in the doily dress, Ludivine Sagnier, and I saw that bizarre movie Swimming Pool in 2003 and she was the naked girl in that. From what I can find she’s not pregnant at this point so there’s really no excuse for that dress.

Chiara Mastroianni, the woman with the dark hair below, is Catherine Denueve’s 39 year-old daughter, can you believe it? She looks like Katie Holmes’ long lost sister. There’s something awkward about her, just like Katie too. Maybe it’s the t-shirt paired with a pencil skirt.

Photocall photos credit: Jean Catuffe/Pacific Coast News. Premiere/closing ceremony photos credit: WENN.com.

Early this year, Fox News ran a piece about how Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have horrible personal hygiene. Apparently, Depp rarely bathes, and there’s a significant odor problem. If I had to guess, I think Depp probably isn’t obsessed with being clean and smelling good, but that he’s not completely gross or anything. Also, he used to be a smoker, and there are lots of odor and hygiene issues that come along with that – like what happens to your mouth. And your breath. Johnny claims he doesn’t smoke anymore, though, so maybe the complaints about hygiene are just about bathing and such. So it’s not shocking to me to read a story about Angelina Jolie asking (“ordering”) Depp to bring on the Listerine and the breath-mints for their makeout scenes:

Angelina Jolie thinks Johnny Depp’s hot, hot, hot – but his smelly cigarette breath is not, not, NOT! Chain-smoker Depp admitted to pals that while they were filming The Tourist, Jolie made him chug-a-lug Listerine AND pop breath mints before all romantic scenes.

“I hate it, but I wanted to keep her happy,” said Depp, groaning that Jolie, who hates smoking and won’t allow it in front of her kids, even insisted he munch mints when he dined socially with her and Brad Pitt.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition]

Eh. Is this the worst they can do? Some completely possible scenario in which one A-List star doesn’t want to kiss her cigarette-tasting costar? I think it’s just good manners and professionalism to use the breath mints. For argument’s sake, let’s say that Depp has quit smoking for good (even though I could swear I just saw him with a cigarette recently) – why would Angelina have a problem with his breath then? Garlic-breath? Cheese-breath? Wine-breath?

Also, re: Angelina hating smoking – I really think she must “allow” Brad to smoke, just not when he’s around the kids. He never did quit!

Photos courtesy of Fame.

I’ve read about Catherine Zeta-Jones being a smoker for years, but for some reason, I thought she quit? Something about the babies and pregnancy or something? Well, maybe she quit temporarily and she just smoked the occasional cig to calm her nerves, because the paparazzi caught her sucking on one in Central Park yesterday. PCN photos is really funny about it too: “Catherine Zeta-Jones swiftly dumps a cigarette in a pile of dry leaves after realising photographers are in Central Park. Catherine’s husband Michael Douglas is currently recovering from chemotherphy and radiotherapy treatments for stage IV throat cancer.” Judgy much? Yes, smoking is bad for you, etc, but it’s not like she’s packing his IV with nicotine. He’s not around, she’s walking the dog, and if she didn’t get a couple of drags, she was going to STAB SOMEONE IN THE FACE. Plus, I’ve done the smoking/quitting smoking thing… it’s HARD. And when the stress comes, you CRAVE a cig. And CZJ is obviously going through a harder time, so I’m not judging.

It cracks me up that she’s smoking with no hands though. And she’s really sucking that cig likes it’s her first one in a while. You know she probably blows smoke out of her nose.

These are new photos of Russell Crowe at a big announcement in Sydney, Australia on Tuesday. The announcement? He’s just been named the narrator of the remake of Ben-Hur. I know, I know, but wait: it’s not some God-awful Hollywood remake where they cast Orly Bloom’s Dirtlip in the Charleton Heston part. No, it’s going to be a “live theater performance” in Australia, and Russell is going to take part in the live theater event – as the narrator. So, basically, he gets to sit around and eat doughnuts while he watches Orly Bloom act as Judah Ben-Hur live on stage. (Note: I have no idea who is actually going to play Judah Ben-Hur.)

So, is it just me, or does Russell look… a bit chubby? Not fat, mind you, I’m not saying he looks horrible or anything, I’m just pointing out that he looks very puffy in these photos. Russell seemed to give a bunch of interviews yesterday (probably answering questions at this photo call), and he ended up talking about how he just quit smoking. Yep… that’s probably why he’s gained some weight. Good for him for quitting!

Russell Crowe used to smoke so much his six-year-old son called cigarette smoke “daddy smell”.

The 46-year-old actor has two sons with his wife Danielle Spencer, Charlie, six, and three-year-old Tennyson. Russell has been a heavy smoker since he was 10 years old, but quit earlier this year.

He has now been smoke-free for almost two months, and is still marvelling at the way it has transformed his life. He says his young sons were so used to his habit, they thought cigarette smoke was his natural scent, and would often smell it in the street and assume he was nearby and hiding from them.

“Charlie called it Daddy smell. With Dani ,they’d walk past smokers on the street he’d say, ‘Mum, Dads here somewhere (sic),’” Russell wrote on his Twitter page.

Russell found quitting smoking much more difficult than he had anticipated. He posted messages on the social networking site daily for the first week, complaining of “wild dreams”, excess sweating and a hacking cough.

[From Music Rooms]

Yeah, I’m still thinking that he’s gained weight because he quit. His puffiness is probably from drinking too. Yesterday, Starpulse called him out for being “too tubby” and they claimed that there are a flurry of rumors that Russell had to be digitally “slimmed down” in Robin Hood. However, his rep claims those reports are “not true.” Meanwhile, as I look at these photos, I’m reminded of how I gave up my Russell crush for my Gerard Butler crush. They could play brothers, they look so much alike, in my opinion. Dirty moobtastic bastards.

By the way, I just wanted to throw this photo in here, since we’re talking about men gaining weight – Nick Nolte has certainly put on some pounds, hasn’t he? The difference with Nick is that the extra weight looks really good on him, he doesn’t look so gaunt and strung out. He was photographed on the NYC set of Arthur (the one with Russell Brand). It’s good to seem him working again too!

Russell on July 27, 2010 in Sydney. Nick Nolte on July 24, 2010. Credit for all: Fame.

Did you know that Kate Hudson is a smoker? I didn’t. I don’t remember ever seeing her with a cig before, unless it was for a film role. But I guess she’s a smoker. These are photos of Kate yesterday, on vacation in St. Tropez. I don’t see her son anywhere. Maybe Ryder is with his dad or with his grandparents? And Mama needed to go to the South of France for some tanning, cigs and martinis? Sounds like an awesome vacation, honestly. That’s exactly what I would do if I was on vacation right now. I would go for a swim in the Mediterranean, sit on the beach, order some drinks and light up. Sigh… why am I jealous of Kate Hudson?

No news as to whether Kate is meeting up with Matt Bellamy, her latest boyfriend. Although – we haven’t heard anything about him in a few weeks, so maybe she’s already dumped him and she’s on the prowl again. St. Tropez is for lovers (and anonymous hookups).

Kate Hudson on July 18, 2010. Credit: Fame.

Here are the new photos of Kristen Stewart’s appearance in the latest issue of Flaunt Magazine. Why do they do this to her? She is constantly styled in this grungy, trashy way in magazine photo shoots. That is, unless they’re trying (and failing) to make her look like a fairytale princess, like Harper’s Bazaar did. That was a failure too. I get that Kristen doesn’t want to do “sexy” but can we perhaps aim for “basic cleanliness and not tarted up in the back of a trailer”? The header photo was the one that caught my attention – I know Kristen is a doob smoker, but I didn’t know she smoked cigarettes. Or is she just smoking because she (or someone else) thought it would look cool? It doesn’t.

By the way, last week there was a fake interview with Kristen floating around. CB and I decided not to publish anything about it, just because there was no question in our minds that it was total horsesh-t. But that one fake story is the gift that keeps giving, because those fake quotes keep popping up. For example:

ROBERT Pattinson has proposed to Kristen Stewart “countless times” — insiders say.

A source close to the couple told American tabloid the National Enquirer that Rob, 23, is desperate to marry his 2–year-old Twilight costar.

“Rob is so love with Kristen, he has proposed to her countless times already,” said the mole. He’s just waiting for her to say yes.”

And the pal reckons it won’t be long until Kristen finally caves in and says yes.

“They believe they’re soul mates and want to be together forever,” said the source. “They’re just really happy they’ve found each other.”

Stewart has previously revealed that Pattinson popped the question — but she thought he was joking.

“He asked me to marry him,” she told a British newspaper earlier this month. “As a joke, though. Well, at least I think so!”

[From Showbiz Spy]

Bullsh-t. Now, I’ll believe that Sparkles loves her, and she probably loves him right back. But get married? Nope. Not happening.

Flaunt photos courtesy of K-Stew’s fansite.

Seriously, at this point what’s the difference between Taylor Momsen and a teenage runaway who supports herself by hooking? Because there’s absolutely no visual difference at this point. I just saw these photos of Taylor Momsen walking around the Brooklyn set of Gossip Girl today, smoking. Her character was not smoking, Taylor was. Because she’s 16 years old. Because she doesn’t give a f-ck. Because she’s a pantless brat. Because she wants to be the next Lindsay Lohan.

Ordinarily, I dislike the anti-smoking zealots because, hey, I used to smoke all the time, and I don’t like to hate on smokers. Sure, it’s a bad habit. So is drinking and using drugs and having unprotected sex and texting while driving. And all of those things also kill people, as do cigarettes. But there’s something about smoking that brings out the really hardcore zealots. Anyway, I digress – Taylor, 16 years old, pantless, smoking. I really think this has become a Lohan situation. In a few months, I predict Taylor will be living alone at the Chateau Marmont, buying rounds of tequila shots for “industry” types who will treat her just like they’ve treated Lindsay.

Taylor, I beg you. Put down the cig. I know you don’t give a f-ck about anything or anyone, and I know you’re totally punk because you wear your Chanel eyeliner with a dog collar or whatever, but just ease up on the cigs. I get it. You want to be Lindsay, with a smoker’s rasp at the age of 18, and sun-and-cigarette damaged skin by the age of 20. Just buy some Nicorette or something.

P.S. Is it just me or is that a really fat cigarette? Is she smoking Camel Wides?

Taylor Momsen in Brooklyn on January 27, 2010. Credit: Pacific Coast News.

People Magazine is finally running the Rebecca Gayheart-is-knocked-up story, which basically means someone officially connected to Rebecca and Eric Dane okayed the release of the information. Which means Rebecca’s pregnancy is official. I know, I know. Rebecca is barely B-list, but her husband is high B, perhaps even A-List (in the television world, because of Grey’s Anatomy). This would be such a non-story if not for a few other significant events.

The rumors about Rebecca’s pregnancy have been swirling for a while – almost as long as the minor scandal of the naked-hang-out tape with former beauty queen/maybe hooker Kari Ann Peniche. The other rumor swirling is that Rebecca is still on drugs. We already knowshe’s still smoking. I hate to be a judgy bitch (that’s a lie), but I find it revolting that she’s still smoking. I don’t judge smokers as a rule – but the exception I make is for dumb pregnant women who smoke in this day and age.

Out on a stroll in Los Angeles last weekend with husband Eric Dane, Rebecca Gayheart showed in public what the couple’s close friends have known for some time: that she’s expecting. In February, Dane, 37, told Ellen DeGeneres that he and Gayheart, 38, wanted a baby. “They’re definitely happy,” a source tells PEOPLE. “They’ve been trying for so long.” Reps for the pair have not commented.

[From People]

Well, congratulations and God bless. A shiny new baby will solve any pesky little p.r. problems for the next year or so. Now Rebecca needs to quit the smokes, quit the drugs, quit the liquor and take her prenatal vitamins. Judging from the bump Rebecca’s been sporting, my guess is that she’s probably in her fourth month, but that is just a guess. I’m hoping this pregnancy actually makes Rebecca clean up her issues, and I hope mom and the baby are happy and healthy. Fingers crossed.

Rebecca Gayheart is shown out on 9/23 and 9/25/09. Credit: WENN.com