Tom Cruise has finally come crawling back to Oprah. Or Oprah has finally come crawling back to Tom Cruise. It’s really hard to say. Tom famously embarrassed the crap out of himself when he appeared- couch jumping like a moron – on Oprah’s show in 2005. It really marked the beginning of a significant decline for him. Unfortunately, Tom – being Tom Cruise – didn’t realize he embarrassed the crap out of himself. In all likelihood, he still has no clue.

Tom and Oprah haven’t had much to say to each other since then. It’s not really known if that’s a coincidence or if there was an actual rift between the two. Oprah wasn’t invited to TomKat’s wedding – and given that Tom used her show to announce to the world “I love this woman!” a million freaking times, you’d think Oprah would get an invite. Winfrey also did a show where she talked about what she was really thinking during bizarre moments in the Oprah Winfrey Show’s past. She admitted she found Tom’s behavior a little bizarre… and that Katie Holmes was clearly incredibly uncomfortable.

Either way, whatever might have been going on between Oprah and the Cruises is long over – Tom’s scheduled to appear on the show during May sweeps.

Tom Cruise is returning to “Oprah”! The actor hasn’t appeared on Winfrey’s daytime talk show since his June 23, 2005, appearance where in addition to promoting “War of the Worlds,” he very enthusiastically expressed his love for future wife Katie Holmes (we’re putting the whole couch incident in the past).

It’s not clear what the focus of this show will be, but it is well-timed to May sweeps, and a quick look at the calendar shows that this summer is the 25th anniversary of Cruise’s breakthrough role in “Risky Business.”

A rep for Warner Home Video does confirm that there are “special plans” for the anniversary, and details are being finalized. Other celebrities have been contacted about being involved in the show according to sources close to them, so expect it to be an A-list hour of television. Cruise’s publicist wasn’t available for comment and “The Oprah Winfrey Show” didn’t respond by deadline.

[From the Scoop]

Never let it be said that the pint-sized actor won’t rise to the occasion for the sake of publicity. I sincerely hope Oprah nails down all her furniture before Tom comes on stage. In fact, if I were Oprah’s staff, I’d make sure to find some weighted shoes to have Tom wear, to further discourage jumping of any sort. It’ll be interesting to see if he manages to conduct himself with a modicum of decorum, or if he goes all manic on us again. Something tells me Tom Cruise may re-enact the infamous underwear dancing scene from Risky Business. And at this point, I think I’d rather he keep his pants on.

Madonna has come to the defense of Tom Cruise and his Scientology beliefs, saying he can worship anything he likes.

The singer, a follower of Jewish offshoot the Kabbalah, claims it is nobody’s business what religion people choose to follow.

She tells New York magazine, “I don’t care if people worship turtles or frogs - if they’re good people, that’s all I care about, and he (Cruise) is a good person. I think he gets a raw deal, just as I think the orphans in Malawi get a raw deal; just as I think a lot of marginalised people get a raw deal.”

PR Inside

Madonna does have a point here – religious persecution is not acceptable – but I love the way she brings the topic back to her own agenda. That’s the Madonna we all know and love! However, she’s forgetting just how the Tom Cruise brand of Scientology gained its reputation.

First, he claims Scientology can cure dyslexia, drug addiction, and chemical exposure. He also told Brooke Shields she shouldn’t take antidepressants for her post-natal depression, and that psychiatric medications are fake. Not to mention his ranting crazy Scientology videos the cult tried desperately to suppress.

Madonna, in case you were wondering, has topped the UK charts with ‘4 Minutes’, her 13th number one single in that country. She’s also topped the US charts. While Madonna may still be on top of the music charts at least her fashion influence is waning. The woman who inspired lace gloves and rah-rah skirts in the 80s has failed to create a trend with her pleather and spandex bondage gym gear.

Note by Celebitchy: Scientology also charges exorbitant sums of money from their brainwashed victims, much like Madonna’s Kabbalah cult. No wonder she’s defending Cruise.

Madonna is shown outside the gym she owns next door to her house on 4/19/08, thanks to WENN. I don’t know why she doesn’t just build an underground tunnel. Tom Cruise is shown clutching Katie Holmes at the premiere of her flop “Mad Money” on 1/9/08, thanks to PRPhotos.

Johnny Depp almost got edged out of his seminal role in Edward Scissorhands by none other than Tom Cruise. Prior to starring in fantasy suburban tale Edward Scissorhands, which came out in late 1990, Depp was primarily known as a hot detective on Fox’s 21 Jump Street and had a few small film roles along with his lead performance in Cry Baby, which came out in the Spring of 1990. Producers went back and forth between Cruise and Depp, and almost gave the role to Cruise, but ultimately realized that Depp was more suited to the quirky role:

Depp shot to fame when he landed the title role in Tim Burton’s 1991 fantasy epic, but insists producers were determined to cast A-list actor Cruise in the role.

The 44-year-old was a relative unknown at the time and admits he desperately wanted the job - but he was only hired after the team began to question Cruise’s suitability for such an edgy project.

He says, “They (movie bosses) were interested in me for the part, but had someone else in mind too. A few days later, they called me to say the studio preferred the other actor.

“(It was) Tom Cruise. I was really disappointed. From the moment I read the script, I knew I had to be in it. But I understood that the studio wanted a box office superstar.

“Then a miracle happened. My agent called to say they wanted me instead.

[From WENN via Hollywood.tv]

I thought Tom Cruise could only play jocks and jerks who reach a turning point and then find themselves, and maybe the producers realized that and took a chance on a newcomer who would go on to greatness. It’s hard to know whether Edward Scissorhands would have been the hit that it was with Cruise in the role, but it’s a good thing Depp got the role and built a friendship with director Tim Burton. Can you imagine if he remained on television instead?

Star magazine is claiming that Katie Holmes wants a trial separation of sorts from Tom Cruise. And really, could you blame the poor dear? By Star’s account, Katie has finally had it with Tom and his maniacally controlling ways. I’m guessing her shopping budget just isn’t enough to compensate for being married to a crazy person anymore. Star is still claiming that Katie is in final negotiations to star in All My Sons on Broadway, and wants to move to Manhattan as part of a trial separation. Tom has told her it’s fine if she goes – but he’s coming with her.

Star also says that part of the reason Katie wants a separation is that she and Tom have been locked in a power struggle over how to raise Suri. Tom wants to make all the rules –which doesn’t sound like any big surprise.

… According to our sources, Katie, who was offered a role on Broadway, is trying to break away from her controlled life under the watchful eyes of her husband and move to Manhattan in what will be a sort of trial separation.

“She desperately needs to be on her own for a while, but there’s no way Tom is going to let her take Suri away,” an insider tells Star. “There’s no way he’ll allow it. He just doesn’t want Katie — or Suri — out of his sight for long. He told her that if she goes to New York, fine, but he goes with her.”

[From Star]

As much as I’d love this to be true, it sounds like complete B.S. Celebitchy pointed out that the tabloids are always quick to write a “marriage in trouble” story whenever a couple so much as takes a vacation apart. Star is one of the worst offenders. The Daily News noted today that although Tom and Katie are staying in different states right now, everything seems to be fine with the couple.

Tom Cruise and wife Katie Holmes have been living apart, we hear, but not because of any marital discord. Sources say the renovation at their L.A. manse has given Holmes and daughter Suri an excuse to visit the couple’s Telluride villa. Cruise, who has to stay in town for work, is said to be decamped to his luxe quarters at the Church of Scientology’s Celebrity Centre.

[From Rush & Molloy]

So the more reliable parties are saying everything is fine and dandy in TomKat land. I had my hopes up, but really, thinking wifebot Katie Holmes would grow a pair and leave Tom Cruise is probably too much to hope for.

Here’s Katie Holmes leaving Joan’s on Third after lunch on March 16th. Images thanks to WENN.

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban just bought a mansion in LA’s Brentwood neighborhood that US Weekly describes as “just down the road from her ex Tom Cruise.” Does this mean that Kidman wants her adopted children with Cruise, Isabella, 15, and Connor, 13, to be a part of their upcoming sibling’s life? Kidman is said to be due to give birth in July, although it’s hard to tell she’s that far along considering how thin she is and the loose outfits she wears.

The couple bought a home just down the road from her ex Tom Cruise in L.A.’s Brentwood neighborhood, the Los Angeles Times reports.

Price tag: $7 million.

The five-bedroom digs, located at the end of a cul-de-sac, features rolling lawns, koi ponds and city views, as well as 5,600 square feet.

Kidman last lived in the neighborhood with ex Cruise, but sold that home four years ago for $10.5 million after her divorce was finalized.

[From US Weekly]

There was a story that came out in November that Nicole Kidman said that Connor and Isabella didn’t call her “mom,” and Katie Holmes gave an interview a few weeks later saying that they did call her “mom,” so that sounded as if Kidman had been shut out entirely. It wasn’t exactly the case, though, Kidman was misquoted. She said that “They don’t call me mummy. [They call me] Mum. Or sometimes Nicole.”

Even though Kidman’s comment was misquoted, it’s not like she’s been able to see much of her children with her ex and it seems like this move is a deliberate effort to be closer to them - if they’re even home. There’s little doubt that they spend most of their time being taught the psuedo-scientific belief system of a failed science fiction writer in lieu of a real education. They could be away at some co$ “school” if they’re not being taught at home by Tom’s sister.

Here’s Tom Cruise’s compound. It’s worth around $30 million, is 9,858 square feet and has seven bedrooms and nine and a half bathrooms. Thanks to Splash News.

Where in the world has Suri Cruise been? The normally ubiquitous toddler hasn’t been spotted in eight weeks, and theories on her sudden removal from the public eye are abundant. Some sources say Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have been keeping their little rugrat at home because the paparazzi crush at a recent restaurant outing frightened her; others are speculating that the couple is purposely keeping Suri’s profile low in anticipation of her big birthday bash next month. Perez Hilton even jokingly (I hope) suggested that Suri checked into baby rehab.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes looked thrilled to be out at Cut restaurant in LA on March 5. Dining with actor Forest Whitaker and his wife, Keisha, the couple were celebrating the near completion of their new Hollywood Hills mansion. But something was out of place. Where was Suri? Until recently, Tom and Katie had taken their 23-month-old daughter with them everywhere. But Suri hasn’t been spotted in public since Jan. 16 — 61 days and counting at press time.

So what’s happened to her? Katie, 29, and Tom, 45, have always spoken about Suri as if she were a small adult. But an insider close to the Cruises says a series of events reminded the family that Suri’s just a child after all. One evening, on the way out of a restaurant, fans surged. “Suri freaked out,” the insider says. “She started blinking her eyes because people started taking pictures, and she put up an arm to shield her face. She cried and clung to Katie the whole way back to the hotel. That really upset Katie.”

There’s another only-in-Hollywood reason Tom and Katie have been keeping Suri holed up at their apartment in the Scientology Celebrity Centre: fear of overexposure. To celebrate Suri’s 2nd birthday, on April 18, “Katie and Tom are throwing a party to end all parties,” says the insider. “With all the publicity that it’s going to generate, Katie thinks it’s best for Suri to lie low.”

[From Life & Style Weekly]

Other theories on the whereabouts of the toddler from the “Best Week Ever” blog over at VH1:

Now, if this were any other baby, the world would probably not even notice. But this being Suri, handily the world’s most adorable and, up until recently, the most photographed baby, her absence is cause for concern. Which leads us to ask: Where Is Suri? Here are 7 plausible theories:

1. Accidentally mistaking her for a chicken wing, Kirstie Alley threw Suri into a deep fryer. Upon realizing the mistake, Alley immediately removed America’s Best Baby from the fryer, but sadly… it was too late. Too, too late. On the bright side, Alley insists it was the most delicious baby she has ever eaten.

2. Tom and Katie panicked when they learned that Suri’s first words were “I want Ritalin.” She is now resting comfortably in a soundproof, padlocked drawer.

3. Katie Holmes has pawned poor Suri to buy Armani’s latest creation: A python-skinned covered baby shaped bag. Think of how many diamonds you can fit into it!

4. Suri was murdered by supposed fellow baby friend Shiloh Pitt… who is now on the crawl from the law.

5. Giving free stress tests in Times Square…

[From Best Week Ever]

My theory is that she’s involved in some kind of Scientology ritual, just like her mysteriously absent older siblings. What do you guys think?

Suri Cruise is shown on 1/16/08 with her parents in Manhattan, thanks to Splash News.

Apparently being called a Scientologist is just about the worst name you can be called in Hollywood these days – aside from being called Lindsay Lohan or something. And while that makes a lot of sense, you’d think that if people didn’t want to be called Scientologists, they wouldn’t partake in so many Scientology-related activities. The internet is abuzz with the news that Radar magazine is about to publish a cover story on celebrities involved with the dreaded church. But instead of focusing on the usual targets (Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kirstie Alley), they’re focusing their article on some possible recent converts to the religion. The biggest suspects are Will Smith and wife Jada Pinkett Smith, though the magazine also mentions Kimora Lee Simmons – who has already denied any affiliation with the cult.

Will Smith, Jada Pinkett and Kimora Lee Simmons are loudly denying Radar magazine’s claims that they’ve been recruited into — dun dun dun! — the Church of Scientology. Smith, a good buddy of Scientology poster boy Tom Cruise, denies he is a church member. “You don’t have to be Jewish to be a friend of Steven Spielberg. You don’t have to be a Muslim to be a friend of Muhammad Ali. And you don’t have to be a Scientologist to be a friend of Tom Cruise,” Smith tells us. “I am a Christian. I am a student of all religions. And I respect all people and all paths.”

[From Rush & Molloy]

I cannot tell you how much Will Smith’s response annoys me… because it’s totally fair. He’s phrased it in such a way that I really can’t justify poking holes in it. That doesn’t necessarily mean I believe him, but he’s certainly right – being friends with someone of a different religion in no way means you’ve converted. One of the better arguments that Smith has converted is that Scientologists are generally encouraged to associate only with other Scientologists. The rest of us are supposed to have demon souls or something. But hanging out with someone open and accepting of the religion, as Smith claims to be, might be considered okay. But you’ll have a hard time convincing me that Tommy’s not putting the full court press on Will.

Here’s Will and Jada with their kids and Tom Cruise at the “I Am Legend” premiere on December 11th, 2007. Images thanks to PR Photos.

composite image made from Splash News and image from NYMag.com
Suri Cruise allegedly turns 2 years old on April 18, and sources say the party is going to rival anything you’ve seen on MTV’s “My Super Sweet 16.” The entertainment for the toddler’s party won’t be a clown or a pony– instead, it’s going to be a Grammy-winning producer and DJ, Mark Ronson, whose latest claim to fame was producing Amy Winehouse’s album, “Back to Black.”

Tom Cruise and wife Katie Holmes have asked top British music producer Mark Ronson to DJ at their daughter, Suri’s second birthday party.

Suri turns two on April 18 — and the Hollywood couple are planning a huge bash to mark the occasion.

They reckon Grammy and BRIT Award winner Mark — who has worked with the likes of Amy Winehouse, Lily Allen and Robbie Williams — is just the man to spin some tunes.

32-year-old Mark — who made his name as a DJ on the New York club scene in 1993 — was the official DJ when Tom, 45, married Katie, 29, in Bracciano, Italy, on November 18, 2006 and impressed the groom with a re-worked version of the Top Gun theme.

[From Showbizspy]

Last year, when Suri allegedly turned one, the Cruises had a simple party in comparison - close friends and family ate cupcakes and pizza in a backyard party on the Cruise compound, which was decorated with dragonfly pinatas. It looks like this year, Suri decided to step it up a notch. After all, she’s been alive for millions of years and already knows everything she needs to know.

Seriously, though, what does she care who the DJ is, as long as he plays The Wiggles?

I hope my 8-year-old daughter doesn’t catch wind of this. She announced last week that she wants Beyonce to sing at her birthday party in November. I don’t have those kind of connections!

According to Mike Walker in the National Enquirer, who isn’t the most reliable source but manages to come up with zingers about the celebrities every week (which would probably be impossible if all of it was true), Rosie O’Donnell pissed off pint-sized Tom Cruise by telling him that she read the very unflattering biography of him recently put out by Andrew Morton. The story is that when Rosie ran into Cruise at Madonna’s Kabbalah fundraiser, she blurted out that she had read the book but didn’t believe any of it. Tom got pissed that she had even read it and had the tenacity to tell him about it, and stormed off:

Rosie O’Donnell… rushed up to her idol Tom Cruise, planted a wet kiss… and instantly stuck a foot in her big, fat mouth! Babbling about Brit muckraker Andrew Morton’s controversial new Cruise bio, Rosie barked: “I bought that book, but don’t worry, Tommy - I don’t believe a word in it!” Stunned and speechless, the InterGalactic Lord of Cruise Control finally gasped: “You actually went out and paid money for that book? I can’t believe you’d buy that book - and then actually read it!” Sputtered Rosie: “I - I had to read it… so I could give my opinion if I was asked about it.”

My spywitness says Tom lashed back: “No one cares about your opinion. I don’t care about your opinion!” He grabbed wife Katie Holmes’ arm and stormed off, leaving Rosie red-faced [and] humiliated.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker’s column, March 3, 2008]

Sounds like someone is pretty touchy about that book if this story is true. In this photo that came out of Rosie posing with Madonna, Lourdes, Tom and Katie, Rosie is off to the side but everyone looks perfectly happy. Rosie blogged after the event that:

my tommy was there
handsome as ever
he makes me smile
i love that guy

[Rosie’s blog via Just Jared]

You would think that Tom would handle that better, but maybe not. As it is, this story sounds fake and there’s not much evidence for it, but it’s juicy enough that we couldn’t resist reporting it.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are shown in the header image at the First Annual Essence Black Women In Hollywood event on 2/21/08, thanks to Splash News. They must’ve been working the crowd for Xenu. I really don’t like Katie’s hair like that. She’s one of the only celebrities who works the helmet hair, so she should embrace that and not mess with it like that. Those curls don’t suit her. She used to look so young with long hair.

Even though Suri Cruise is barely two years old, her parents, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, treat her like she is an adult. That’s because according to Scientology, Suri isn’t really a baby - she has lived for millions of years. (If you could see me right now, you’d see that I am making that circular motion with my finger next to my head. You know, the universal signal for “batshit crazy.”)

She’s not yet 2-years-old, but Suri Cruise’s face is known the world over. Whether she is out shopping at high end New York stores, sightseeing in Paris or watching the Spice Girls in LA, her parents Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes treat her like a little adult.

That is because that is how they see her. As Scientologists, they believe their daughter has lived for billions of years and so she already knows all there is to know. Just like a grown-up she doesn’t even go to bed until 11 p.m!

For Suri there is hardly any discipline, a fascinating Star probe into her life reveals. But there are rules. Tom forbids television and because of anti-Scientology sites, when she is old enough, her computer use will be very limited. “The Internet has become a major source of problems for Scientology,” cult expert Rick Ross tells Star. When it comes to education, Suri will follow Tom’s other kids, Isabella and Connor and be schooled in the controversial church.

McDonalds is out, her diet is organic, with boiled barley juice one of its major ingredients. Her health is maintained not with medicine, but by herbs. Her friends are virtually all the children of fellow Scientology believers.

[From Star Magazine]

No McDonald’s or TV probably isn’t a bad idea. And we’ve heard about the barley juice before. There was a story that instead of breastfeeding Suri as an infant, Tom insisted that Suri be fed on barley water. At that time, I thought there was no way a child could be nourished on that stuff, but Suri looks very healthy, so maybe there’s something to that barley juice after all.

That part about no discipline is bothersome, though. I don’t know how you let a two-year-old run rampant in your house without at least the occasional “no” or “don’t touch.” Anyone who’s raised a toddler knows what I’m talking about here. If you don’t set rules and boundaries, you can pretty much count on having yourself a selfish brat.

I wonder - were Isabella and Conor raised the same way? Somehow I can’t see Nicole Kidman agreeing to the “no discipline” part. Which could partially explain why they are no longer together and her kids never see her. I’m sure given the choice, my kids would rather live with their good-time, no-rules daddy too.

Thanks to popbytes for the header image.