I’ve never been nasty about Kirstie Alley’s weight. I think the woman loves food, and I think she probably hates to exercise, and really, who cares? I’m not related to her, so I’m not going to sit here and give her a lecture about it. BUT, even though I feel a massive “meh” when discussing the size of Kirstie’s ass, I will always, always, ALWAYS be a fan of calling out a celebrity on their delusions. It’s a cottage industry at this point – The Delusional Industrial Complex, in which celebrities of a certain size publicly proclaim a bold-faced lie about their size.

If Kirstie had just waltzed her way through Dancing With the Stars (get it?) without mentioning specifics about what size she was or specific (fake) numbers on how much weight she lost, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. But don’t go on the record with Us Weekly, claiming some nonsense that NO ONE could possibly believe. Then you just look crazy. So… yeah. Kristie went to Us Weekly and actually spoke these words: “I started out in a size 12, then an 8, and then I think next week I’ll be in a 6. The real size I want to be in is probably a 4 or a 6. That’s where I look best.” FOR. REAL.

This is a photo of Kirstie from April 13.

Here are photos of Kirstie from April 18.

Size 8? Nope. Not even a 10. Or a 12. Now, I do think she’s losing weight. I think she’s probably working her ass off, and I think this is likely the most exercise she’s had in years, and seriously, GOOD FOR HER. I’m happy for her, and I think she’s probably an inspiration to many women. But don’t lie about your size. You weren’t a size 12 when you started, and you’re not a size 8 now. BITCH PLEASE.

I will say this though – what did you guys think was going to happen? She’s always been delusional about her weight! Remember this? How about this? And now she relaunching (?) her “Organic Liaison weight loss system” – which is that Scientology crap she was shilling last year. So basically, Kristie is bound and determined to ruin whatever goodwill she might have retained from her Dancing With the Stars appearance.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

You may say “who?” and that’s understandable. What I’m doing here is combining two stories about minor celebrities posing in bikinis, since the photos were taken by the same photographer for People Magazine and are meant to promote their television shows.

Sarah Rue, 32, dropped over 50 pounds during her role as a spokesperson for Jenny Craig. (Note that calorie counting, much cheaper Weight Watchers and portion control work just as well as packaged diets.) We first saw Sarah’s weight loss back August of last year, and now she seems to have lost even more weight. She’s the host of Shedding for The Wedding on the CW and is losing weight for her own wedding. Rue is getting married in May. She also stars on an ABC family movie, My Future Boyfriend, that’s out on Sunday night. [Here's a link to Sarah's story on People.com]

Alison Sweeney, 34, didn’t lose as much weight as Rue but she went from a size four to a two and is really working that bikini. You might know Alison from her work as the host of The Biggest Loser. She’s also a cast member on daytime staple Days of Our Lives. She told People that she loses weight when she needs to by cutting “the crap out of my diet – cheese, dairy, carbs like bread and pasta and fatty meat.” Sweeney also credits The Biggest Loser with helping her make informed healthy choices daily. I don’t know much about Sweeney and don’t follow Biggest Loser, but I watch Days of Our Lives occasionally and she’s decent on that show. I once saw an interview with her when she was promoting her book The Mommy Diet. I was impressed with how down to earth and nice she seemed. [Here's a link to Alison's People article.]

These women look great and good for them. I’d love to see some men strip down to their skivvies and release shirtless swimming trunk photos in order to promote their projects, though. I know we see them on the covers of Men’s Fitness and Men’s Health but these gossip magazines are targeted to women and we get enough aspirational bodies in bikinis. We want some hot guys to droll over during our work day. I’ve noticed a very welcome trend of more men taking off their shirts on television, though. Is that really happening or am I just on the lookout for it now?

Here are Alison and Sarah “before,” both in August, 2009. (That’s just a coincidence and seems to be the only date I could find either of them looking any different.)

Photo credit: WENN.com

Here are some photos of Jessica Simpson out on 3/26 and she looks incredible. You can really see the difference in her face in that it looks thinner and more angular. Star Magazine estimates that she’s lost 20 pounds in a couple of months already, and it’s definitely possible. (They have a comparison photo from early January.) We know she’s been working out and dieting, although she’s trying to downplay how important it is to her. Good for her for getting healthy for her wedding, which may or may not happen soon.

Star claims that Jess is doing “up to six 100 minute-sessions” of cardio and strength training and that she’s eating 1,600 calories a day. That sounds too sensible for someone working with Tracy Anderson.

There’s another story about Simpson in this week’s tabloids that cracked me the hell up. The Enquirer reports that she was at the DMV recently and got told off by an employee when she asked for special treatment. That one deserves repeating:

“Jessica didn’t want to sit with the average Joes who were ahead of her. So she went to the front desk [of the DMV in Hollywood] and asked in a low voice if she could have access to a private room while waiting for her number to be called,” an eyewitness divulged…

“The no-nonsense female staffer answered Jessica in a loud, forceful voice, saying, ‘Miss Simpson, we didn’t do that for the governor and we certainly aren’t doing it for you!” the eyewitness revealed.

The 30 year-old former reality star… went back to her seat and the verge of tears and played the diva role to the hilt until her name was called two hours later, the source added.

“Jessica pouted and scowled as she sat with her arms folded and stared straight ahead, kicking her foot,” said the eyewitness. “But hopefully she learned two big lessons – everyone gets treated the same way at the DMV and next time, make an appointment!”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, April 11, 2011]

I have a dumb question – can you make appointments at the DMV? You must be able to in California I guess, but I’ve lived in other states on the east coast and you can’t make an appointment at any of the DMVs I’ve known. Of course they were smaller and easier to deal with than the DMVs at bigger cities.

I love how that DMV clerk was all “the governor doesn’t even get special treatment, sit down!” It’s a bitch to go to the DMV but there’s no escaping it. I do dream of a day in my life when I’ll never have to go through airport security again though. That’s ten times worse than the DMV and it lasts a fraction as long.

Here’s Jessica on 12/13/10 for comparison:

Photo credit: WENN and Fame

Previously, the only opinion I had ever formed regarding Victoria’s Secret model Candice Swanepoel was “Oh, Megan Fox! No, that’s not Megan. It’s just some blonde chick who had Megan’s 2008 Face.” Also, in my mind, as I’m reading her name to myself, I pronounce it “Swamp Pole”. For no reason other than the fact that I can’t be bothered to learn how it’s actually pronounced. Anyway, these are new photos of Candice yesterday, doing two events for Victoria’s Secret. As you can see, chica is THIN. Really, really thin. How thin? For comparison, this is a photo of Candice from last August:

She was thin, but she looked healthy. She looked like she regularly dined on yogurt and strawberries, every other day. The new, radically thin Candice is now becoming a topic of conversation:

When South African stunner Candice Swanepoel made an appearance Wednesday in Los Angeles to model the new line of swimwear by Victoria’s Secret, her slight figure caused a major stir.

Overnight, buzz cropped up about Swanepoel’s seemingly shocking weight loss, given that she appeared thinner in L.A. than she had in photos taken only months earlier. HollywoodLife.com went so far as to call her “scarily, skeletally, stick-thin” and CBSNews.com called her “startlingly slim.”

During New York Fashion Week in November, Swanepoel, 22, told ABCNews.com that she was having trouble keeping weight on. “Actually, this year my problem has been more putting the weight on and getting muscle on because it’s been really busy,” she said. “I’ve been traveling around like crazy. I get skinnier if I’m very busy.”

Calls to reps for Victoria’s Secret were not immediately returned.

[From People]

You can say what you will about Vicky’s Secret promoting an unhealthy body image, etc, but I give them credit for choosing models who look healthy. This does not look healthy, and it makes me wonder if someone from Vicky’s isn’t sitting down with Candice and offering her some Doritos and a milkshake.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I’ve been avoiding writing about the latest round of “LeAnn is emaciated, for real” tabloid stories just because we don’t have access to the latest set of photos – you can go here to see LaineyGossip’s photos, plus her side-by-side of LeAnn then and now. In the latest set of photos, LeAnn’s legs are positively twig-like. It’s basically just flesh on bone, and her weight loss is dramatic, obvious, and truly disturbing. Most big media outlets ran stories about how LeAnn is looking these days, which caused something of a meltdown for LeAnn on her Twitter a few days ago. Of course. Because nothing happens to LeAnn if she can’t get all pissy and huffy about it on Twitter. Anyway, she tweeted a bunch of crap of course:

LeAnn Rimes has a message for anyone judging her thin physique: “I am completely healthy!”

The singer, who’s in wedding planning mode in the run-up to getting hitched to fiancé Eddie Cibrian, added on her Twitter page Tuesday, “If people only saw how much I ate.”

Recent photos show the singer, who is known for being in great shape, looking particularly slim. Referring to pictures of herself wearing leg-baring jeans shorts and an off-the-shoulder top as a “joke” and blasting the “judging” and “evil comments” that followed the photos’ publication, Rimes also writes in response to a follower, “OVER It is right! I know how healthy I am, so really that’s all that matters.”

That same day she offered a glimpse into what she eats, citing her recipe to start the day: “Breakfast…poached eggs, whole wheat toast and Italian ham w/ fresh berries!” she wrote.

For those who still don’t believe she’s fit and healthy – and not wasting away as some have trumpeted online – she reminded one follower that “it’s a photo….see me IN PERSON,” and invited fans (jokingly) to see her stark naked.

“Maybe it’s time for a nude pic so peeps can see how I look nowhere near what these stupid pics are trying to make me look like, LOL,” she wrote, making it clear she was kidding.

[From People]

Look, I know a lot of you hate LeAnn, and in all fairness to her haters, LeAnn has given all of you lots and lots of ammunition. She’s a hyper-narcissist, a self-obsessed egomaniacal drama queen nut job who has destroyed her career and any goodwill any of us might have her a long, long time ago. That being said, I’ve started to feel a twinge of pity for LeAnn, much as I have lately felt a twinge for Gwyneth. That’s the thing about self-absorbed, delusional bitches – once the veil comes down, all of sudden they seem fragile, physically and mentally. LeAnn’s freakishly emaciated body is a cry for help, even if she’s too much of a ridiculous a–hole to acknowledge it. Maybe if we let it go, she’ll actually eat (without purging).

Photos courtesy of WENN.

It’s no secret to anyone with semi-functioning sight that LeAnn Rimes has been dropping weight. At first, when Eddie Cibrian finally left Brandi Glanville and immediately started up with his mistress/jumpoff LeAnn, LeAnn dropped some weight but overall she looked healthy and toned. And then came the engagement… and all of a sudden, it seemed like LeAnn began looking truly emaciated overnight (see an additional “too skinny” photo here). I figured it was a combination of things – stress of planning the wedding, the stress of being such a crazy famewhore, the constant surveillance on a man known for his wandering eye. But, according to In Touch, LeAnn’s emaciation has another purpose: it keeps her man happy!

With her wedding just a few months away, LeAnn Rimes went on a diet to slim down before the big day – but has she taken it too far?

Although LeAnn’s rep denies the story, according to a course, LeAnn is thinner than she’s been in years, and she’s still losing. The source reveals that LeAnn is a bundle of nerves over marrying Eddie Cibrian, and she’s dieting and working out more than ever before.

“LeAnn is determined to look her best,” the source says. “Eddie likes skinny girls, so LeAnn seems to be dieting to keep him interested.”

During a gathering in their Hidden Hills neighborhood, a witness says that LeAnn sipped water and avoided alcohol.

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

Does Eddie really like skinny girls? When I saw photos of Brandi when she was with Eddie, she was slender, but not super-skinny. She seemed to have a healthy figure. Same for the other girl, Scheana or whatever, that Eddie screwed while he was married to Brandi. And LeAnn had a healthy, slender figure when they first started cheating on their spouses. So… does Eddie really like bony chicks, or is that just what LeAnn is telling herself?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I’m not the only one who has noted “Waity” Kate Middleton’s diminishing frame these past few months. In her public roll-out the past few weeks, it seems that Kate has lost a significant amount of weight since the engagement announcement – and now lots of people are talking about princesses and body image. The Daily Mail ran an “open letter” to Kate about her diminished curves, basically saying that while Kate is under a lot of pressure, it also seems like she thinks she needs to be super-thin on her wedding day. Which brings up an interesting thought – just how good or bad is Kate’s personal body image? She’s billed by the royalists and Waity-apologists as a down-to-earth, athletic, wholesome girl who won the prince’s heart with her simplicity and naturalism. But is the real Waity a bag of nerves, ego, extreme dieting and superficiality? According to the Enquirer, Kate is already planning her subtle plastic surgery makeover:

Kate Middleton is on a quest – she wants a body fit for a queen! Middleton needs a head-to-toe makeover to ensure she looks her best for the future king od England, say experts. And the total body overhaul comes with a royal price tag of $150,000!

“Kate knows she’s about to become one of the most photographed women in the world, and that women will scrutinize every inch of her. She’s really dreading that,” an insider tells The Enquirer. “She wants to project a modern, glamorous image, and she knows that it’s best to have cosmetic intervention before any aging, sagging, drooping or wrinkling can mar her figure.”

The insider estimates Kate would have to drop well over $150,000 for her initial “aesthetic adjustments” and for “periodic tune-ups”. Kate’s makeover plan includes a breast augmentation, a more full and shapely derriere, hip liposuction, lip fillers, Botox shots, delicate touch-ups around the eyes, and a minor nose job, says the insider.

“Now that she’s joining the royal family, Kate obviously has to be discreet about her body changes. She doesn’t want to be embarrassingly photographed covered with bandages and with ugly black eyes from plastic surgery,” maintained the insider. “So she needs to plan mini-surgeries that won’t be obvious to the public. And for her procedures where she will have to stay out of the public eye for a short while, Kate has been looking for top surgeons in Switzerland.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition]

The article goes on to quote a few plastic surgeons at length who talk about how Kate isn’t old enough to do a full overhaul, but they recommend Botox and lip augmentation, because apparently the British expect their future queen to resemble Lindsay Lohan.

As far as the Enquirer’s report goes, I don’t believe the bulk of it. I doubt Kate is planning or considering Botox or any kind of nip or tuck. BUT – I do think she have makeover plans for herself, I just think they involve extreme weight loss, lots of clothes and perfect hair.

Also: some people believe Waity has already gotten some subtle work done over the years, like a slight nose job and some eye work. I don’t know though – I can’t see a huge difference.

Last thing: I will continue to jokingly refer to her as Waity because SHE IS STILL WAITING. She’s not his wife yet, people! Only when she gets married will I refer to her by Catherine or whatever title she gets. Lady Waity, of Duchess of Biscuits, what have you.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Director Kevin Smith made headlines last year for allegedly being “too fat to fly,” but he maintains that he was bumped from the flight because it was overbooked and that he was an easy target because he was a very large guy. His weight wasn’t at a level where he would require two seats because he didn’t need a seatbelt extender and the airline has admitted as much. Smith revisited that whole controversy in an appearance on The Joy Behar show last night. He was visibly thinner and said he’s lost 65 pounds but admitted that he’s still wearing the tent-like hockey jersey he always does. (This occurred to me before he even said anything about it because the last time I covered a story on him I noticed that the photo agencies had pictures of him wearing that same shirt on several different occasions.) Smith was kind of apologetic about his weight loss and said that he still self-identified as a heavy person and wasn’t about to change his wardrobe at this point. The dude talked so fast that Joy asked him if he was on amphetamines. He might have just been nervous and hopped up on caffeine.

The not-so-friendly skies seems to have led to a much healthier Kevin Smith.

In the wake of getting bounced from a Southwest Airlines flight last year for being, to use his term, “a fatty,” the Clerks director thought it might be high time to lose somes LBs.

Sure enough, during a hepped-up appearance on CNN’s Joy Behar Show on Tuesday night, Smith revealed that he has in fact dropped quite a few pounds. If not his wardrobe.

READ NOW: Kevin Smith gets screwed by Virgin?!

“I’ve spent most of my life yo-yoing in terms of weight, so it’s always been easier to wear a hockey jersey because, like, I’ve lost 65 pounds, but I’m still wearing the same jersey I wore before I lost the 65, but you wouldn’t know because it’s all air,” said Smith.

But the filmmaker, who was on to promote his upcoming movie Red State, admits he was a bit hesitant when it came to slimming down.

“I sympathize far more with heavier people than I ever will with thin,” he pointed out. “I’ll never be thin. Let’s be honest. I’ve lost 65 pounds, but nobody’s going ‘I wanna sleep with you!’ They’re just like ‘Keep going, you look better.’”

Smith proceeds to recount the whole Too Fat to Fly controversy in the typical rapid-fire fashion he often incorporates in his Q&A stage shows, which led Behar to jokingly ask: “Are you on amphetamines?”

“No,” Smith answered with a laugh. “I know I’ve got eight minutes…and I believe if you’re going to put me on television, I better be as entertaining as heck and I got to get as much information in as possible.”

[From E! Online]

You could tell that it bothered Smith that people called him “fat” when they reported that story, and he explained that it did hurt his feelings but that the news outlets justified it because he had called himself fat on Twitter.

The part where Behar asked Smith if he was on amphetamines was much funnier than E! explained it. Smith was actually suffering from verbal diarrhea and was about to stick his foot in his mouth. He said that he was always fat and didn’t get a lot of play in high school and college, except from “ladies like yourself who are like ‘you’re handsome,’ because you’ve been around the world and you know sometimes a fat dude has a lot to offer ‘if I can just get past the blubber.’” Joy had just called him handsome, but the way he explained it made it sound like she wasn’t that discriminating.

Smith is pretty damn funny and self deprecating, but it’s clear he’s got some issues around his weight still. I wish him the best and congratulations to him for losing the weight! If I were his wife I would burn that damn hockey jersey though, or just conveniently ruin it in the laundry.

Here’s Smith in that Puck U hockey jersey in June, August, September and November of last year in that order. I’m serious. His daughter is cute! Credit: WENN.com and Fame.

Big Love star Ginnifer Goodwin, 32, is defending herself from criticism after recently admitting she’s been on Weight Watchers since she was nine years old. She explained that she was heavy as a little kid and that Weight Watchers helped her lose weight safely along with other children her age. Goodwin also said that she now indulges in occasional treats but that “you don’t have to go through that horrible yo-yo cycle of binging.”

“I was so shocked when it was this whole, ‘Ginny’s been on a diet since she was 9 years old!’ I was like ‘No!’ I’ve never had body issues, I’ve never had an eating disorder,” she tells PEOPLE. “I’ve never had to go on a diet and that’s because of Weight Watchers.”

Goodwin, however, says she was an overweight child, which led her to the program. “I began to identify myself as fat.” Goodwin says. “At 9 years old I weighed about 10 lbs. less than what my weight is at 32. I needed to get help.”

“I ended up going to my mother crying,”she recalls. “With the counseling of my family doctor, my mother ended up turning to Weight Watchers and their children’s program. I went to weekly meetings, got counseling and would exercise with my peers who were my size. It was the first time I saw a proper children’s portion size, and it wasn’t two burgers, it was one.”

Losing the weight, recalls Goodwin, “was extremely easy to accomplish.” But she adds, “It takes time because you lose the weight slowly. It’s a healthy way to do it.”

And she’s kept the weight off with ease over the years. “You don’t have to go through that horrible yo-yo cycle of binging,” she says. “I’ve always been able to satisfy my cravings; it’s just a matter of balancing.”

It saddens her to see her peers struggle with weight. “I pulled an actress friend aside and I said, ‘I get it. I get what it is that you’re trying to do, but there’s being healthfully skinny and then there’s starting to look like a scary alien cat,’ ” she says.

Goodwin has a not-so-flattering name for the diet secrets of some of the rich and famous. “I call it the ‘Cocaine and Cigarettes Diet’ in Hollywood,” says the actress, who also doesn’t believe in a low-carb diet as a permanent solution. “I see girls who haven’t had a carbohydrate in three years. The second you go back to eating right, you’re going to put that weight on. You eat one piece of bread and you are screwed, lady!”

[From People]

A lot of people don’t understand how normal Weight Watchers is, and how it’s more of a healthy lifestyle than a diet. I’ve been on plenty of diets and the only one that really worked for me long term is Weight Watchers. It’s not restrictive and is basically portion control and simplified calorie counting. Whenever I fall off the wagon, like this holiday, I make sure I go back to it (I just do it online) and start counting points again. Even if I exercise like a fiend I also need to watch what I eat or I don’t keep off the weight.

Goodwin looks pretty skinny, and her fiance is almost emaciated looking. I’m sure that skinniness is relative in the circles they run in. I love what Goodwin said about how unhealthy and unrealistic it is to starve and not to eat carbs. High protein diets aren’t bad when you eat healthy carbs, like fruit, but the Atkins diet just seems like torture. You know she didn’t tell someone she looked like an alien cat, though. You say that behind someone’s back, not to their face.

Goodwin recently got engaged to her boyfriend of two years, Joey Kern, 34.

*Note that this is in no way a sponsored post. Weight Watchers isn’t a direct advertiser of ours unless it’s through Google Adsense, which shows ads through keywords. Photo credit: WENN.com

Raven-Symoné, former “Cosby Show” child star and star of Disney’s now-canceled “That’s So Raven,” has lost a lot of weight and looks great. She sounds pretty snotty about it, though, although she’s always sounded that way. The last we covered Raven, she’d lost about 35 pounds in 2009. Now she’s lost even more weight, but says that she thought she “looked fabulous before and nobody else did.” She explained that she wears “bigger clothes” now “because I don’t like the way people stare” now that’s she’s thin. Why are her tits hanging out then? You think she would cover them up too if it bothered her so much.

If there’s one thing Raven-Symoné never lacked, it’s self-assurance.

The former Disney star, 25, who once contently called herself “thick and fabulous,” showed off a decidedly slimmer look at Wednesday’s People’s Choice Awards. Strutting her stuff in a cleavage-bearing, all-black leather ensemble with thigh-high Louboutin boots, Symoné says she was never one to consider herself unattractive when she was still heavy.

“I thought I looked fabulous before and nobody else did,” she tells PEOPLE. “So, whatever.”

If anything, Symoné, who just shot an ABC Family pilot called The Great State of Georgia, is not yet entirely comfortable with her new look.

“Actually, now I wear bigger clothes because I don’t like the way people stare at me,” she says. “I liked it before. Now, you’re just looking at me for the wrong reasons. Before, you were actually looking at me for a real reason.”

Either way, the onetime That’s So Raven star says she’s breathing a sigh of relief over no longer having to deal with her show – the strain of which, she says, contributed to her weight gain.

“That’s what stress does to you,” Symoné says. “I’ve been not stressing. I’ve been in my own house, decorating and finding hobbies.”

[From People]

Good for Raven, but she could tone it down a little. I get that she’s defensive because she got a lot of criticism when she was heavy, and she definitely struggled with that. Debbie Allen even called her a “little heifer,” but it was meant in an affectionate way. It must have been hard to be a larger person in the public eye. Raven made one more important change to her appearance. She fixed those jacked eyebrows.

Photo credit: WENN.com

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