When I say that faux punk rocker/great humanitarian Avril Lavigne can’t sing, I’m talking literally and figuratively. The Canadian import, whose music makes anyone over the age of 12 want to shove sharp objects into their eardrums, has been forced to cancel six West coast dates on her tour due to a case of severe laryngitis.

Suffering from acute laryngitis, rocker Avril Lavigne has postponed six dates on her U.S. “Best Damn Tour.”

She had already canceled shows in Phoenix and San Diego this week.

“My sincerest apologies to all of my fans,” she said in a statement to Usmagazine.com. “My intention was to complete the rest of the tour, but tonight at sound check in Anaheim, [Ca.], I realized this wasn’t possible.

“Even though I have been resting my voice for days,” she continued, “when I tried to sing nothing came out.”

Refunds will be available at point of purchase on Monday.

[From Us Weekly]

Oh, come on, Avril, we all know you are lipsyncing on stage- who are you trying to kid? I would probably buy tickets to that sound check before I’d accept free tickets to see her perform. Now THAT would be the “Best Damn Thing.” Maybe I’m evil, but something about the thought of Avril, with her fake little punk rock sneer and pink hair, trying to squeak out one of her annoying songs in vain, brings me great pleasure. Pardon me while I commence cackling maniacally.

Avril Lavigne is shown In Chicago on stage for “The Best Damn Tour 2008″ on 3/21/08, thanks to PRPhotos.

Remember last week, when Paris Hilton was seen around town with a guy dressed like a shaman? That story turned out to be fake, but that wasn’t the whole story. Paris and her fake guru were part of a new reality prank show on E! Network called “Pop Fiction.” The show is executive produced by Ashton Kutcher and the premise is this: what if celebrities who are hounded by the paparazzi decided to ‘fight back’ by faking stories of their own? The goal of show, according to producers, is the shake up the paparazzi and celebrity gossip mags, to make them think twice about printing news. It’s like a vigilante version of “Punk’d.”

The half-hour show featured two segments. The first was Paris and her fake guru. Paris, in an interview, says that she decided to participate in the show after a fake item ran about her starting a charity to help save drunken elephants in India. That rumor was actually picked up by the AP News, and they were later forced to print a retraction. The show pointed out that within hours, news of Paris and her guru was all over the Internet and the subject of blogs around the globe.

“Next time you read the tabloids, ask yourself if it’s real or if it’s pop fiction,” she warned.

In the second segment, pop singer Avril Lavigne led on the paparazzi by sporting a fake baby bump while shopping on Robertson Blvd. in L.A. She predicted that she wouldn’t be able to walk one block without being submerged by paparazzi. “Robertson is where you go when you want attention,” she said. (Are you listening, Britney?) She then waded through paparazzi with her husband and some friends to shop at Baby Kitson and Lisa Kline Kids, trendy boutiques featuring kids’ clothes. She was quick to call her mother and warn her that she might see pictures or read about Avril’s pregnancy, and that it wasn’t true. Twenty minutes later, the show says, there were photos of Avril all over the Internet confirming her “pregnancy.”

Life & Style Magazine reports that Avril Lavigne went out of her way to hide a suspicious belly bump while eating at the Beverly Grand restaurant in Los Angeles on March 13th. “She insisted on putting on her jacket before she got out of the car,” an eyewitness revealed. “When she did get out, it was like, ‘Whoa,’ she looks so pregnant!’” The 21-year-old singer is currently engaged to Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley, 25.

[From Popdirt.com]

As a member of the so-called “gossip rag” militia, I have mixed feelings about this show. Here at Celebitchy, we really want to get the information right. We are probably one of the few gossip blogs that will correct our facts if we get them wrong, and we often have a “take this story with a grain of salt” attitude. But we’re well aware that Celebitchy is in the minority on this philosophy. These kinds of pranks are going to make it more difficult to get our facts in line, but I certainly understand the concept behind them. The paparazzi and many gossip outlets definitely overstep their boundaries these days and continuously cross the line into obscene amounts of privacy invasion. The actor who played Paris’ guru hit the nail on the head when, after the pair are swarmed by cameras, he says, “I would probably be the guy who punches a paparazzi.”

I wonder if Ashton Kutcher will continue to get high-profile celebs involved in the pranks on the show. I also wonder if anyone is actually going to watch this show: it’s on at 10:30 on Sunday night. On E! Network. Not exactly a ringer in the ratings department, if you ask me.

Note by Celebitchy: We covered that Avril Lavigne story, but it wasn’t a very original concept. A married pop star sports a little bump and goes shopping at baby stores at the largest paparazzi-target shopping area in the world. Of course people are going to say she’s pregnant. They need to step it up a little if they want to create decent shows. The Paris Hilton guru story was pretty interesting. JayBird covered that Avril shopping for baby clothes story and was quite subdued about it, she said “I would say the traditional ‘Congrats to the happy couple,’ but with someone like Avril Lavigne, she’s probably apt to punch me in the eye for it.”

No one really gives a shit about Avril except to say she shouldn’t reproduce.

Avril Lavigne must truly be one of the most disliked celebrities on the internet. She has famously gone to war against several bloggers and spit on members of the paparazzi. Not the best way to make friends in the media. As a result, Avril has received a lot of bad press and is generally known more for her surly attitude than her singing. Though she has toned it down a bit since she got married to Deryck Whibley a few years ago, she still seems to be pretty widely disliked. News of a possible Lavigne/Whibley child hasn’t brought the singer any kinder handling in the press. Though she and her publicist have denied a pregnancy, there’s plenty of evidence that Avril is in fact toasting a bun in the oven.

The 23-year-old pop star and husband Deryck Whibley, 27, have been dogged by rumors recently that they’re expecting their first baby. And they didn’t do much to squash the pregnancy talk during a shopping trip yesterday along trendy Robertson Boulevard. Lavigne and Whibley, who have been married since July 2006, were spotted dropping into Petit Trésor and then Lisa Kline Kids, where they spent about $500 on baby gear.

I’m told they picked up a cheetah-print diaper bag at Lisa Kline, along with a Sassy pacifier holder, a charcoal gray baby tee emblazoned with the logo of rock band AC/DC and a white Splendid romper. “They shopped holding hands and picked stuff out together,” an onlooker reports. At Petit Trésor, according to a source, they picked up a Petunia Pickle Bottom men’s diaper bag and two organic Robbie Adrian baby blankets.

[From E!]

A Petunia Pickle Bottom men’s diaper bag? Men need their own diaper bags? I know baby stuff can look kind of effeminate, but isn’t that just part of the package? I would really love to see what a “manly” diaper bag would look like. I’m guessing it has lumberjacks and big chunks of meat on it or something. But I digress. That seems like a bit more stuff than you’d normally buy for a pregnant friend. And nothing says “Avril Lavigne’s Baby” like an AC/DC baby tee. Always classy. Actually I think the whole rocker/rebel baby thing is kind of cute, when done in small amounts. Now Online also reports that Avril was spotted shopping at Kitson For Kids too. That’s a whole lot of small clothing. Avril is pretty tiny, but I doubt she’s fitting into a Splendid romper anytime soon. I would say the traditional “Congrats to the happy couple,” but with someone like Avril Lavigne, she’s probably apt to punch me in the eye for it.

Avril Lavigne and her husband Deryck Whibley shopping at baby stores on Robertson Boulevard. Images thanks to WENN.

Avril Lavigne’s rep denies that the pint-sized pop singer is pregnant. A Canadian entertainment blog reported an “exclusive” today that Lavigne’s husband, Deryck Whibley, was telling friends that his sneering bride was in the family way. Avril’s rep says it’s just not true. There’s another rumor that Avril could be having trouble in her marriage. Last week’s National Enquirer reported that Deryck was “acting like a single man” and was seen looking flirty with everyone’s favorite homewrecker Paris Hilton as well as collecting a phone number from another woman at a club on December 17th. It could have all been innocent fun.

Meanwhile Avril has given an undisclosed settlement to the band The Roobinos for their claimed copyright infringement of their 1979 single “Boyfriend.” A settlement doesn’t mean that she’s admitting to infringing the band’s copyright. Her manager says he merely wanted to avoid a costly court battle, and Avril denies ever hearing the song. This is not the first time that Lavigne has been accused of plagiarism.

Here’s a comparison of the two songs, and you can see why Avril would want to make this one go away quietly:

We got a lot of well-deserved flack for repeating Star Magazine’s incorrect story that Avril only played a couple of songs at a free concert in Burnaby, British Columbia before ditching to go see the Spice Girls. She did play a full set at that show and it’s well documented.

As to why we report with a negative slant on Avril, after reading several self-important interviews with her and seeing how she repeatedly flips off the camera as well as spits on paparazzi, we decided that we don’t like her. She doesn’t seem to like or appreciate her job, and is known for giving listless performances.

Avril is seen leaving Koi restaurant on 11/29/07, thanks to WENN.

Update: This article is based on a story in Star Magazine that incorrectly stated that Avril Lavigne played just two songs at a free concert. That article was incorrect and Avril did play a full free concert at that show.

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Avril Lavigne needs to get that smug look and raccoon makeup wiped off her face with a dirty rough rag. She seems to be sleepwalking through her soulless performances, getting by with a sneer and a modicum of singing ability. In a field that continues giving a psychologically challenged woman (Britney) and an addict (also Britney, but Lindsay could fall in both categories too) chances, it’s hardly likely that anyone is going to call Avril on her arrogance though.

There was a story about two months ago that Avril Lavigne refused to pose for a photo with a little eight year-old girl who was attending the same wedding reception Avril was at, reducing the little girl to tears. Avril recently screwed thousands of fans at once by making them wait over an hour for her in the bitter cold and then playing just two songs to jet off to a Spice Girls show. It was a free concert, but it sounds like she got paid for it and she could have made more of an effort for fans:

[Avril Lavigne] arrived more than an hour late to her free outdoor concert in honor of the grand opening of the Best Buy in Burnaby, British Columbia, on December 2, and never apologized for leaving her fans to wait in the freezing, snowy weather. The 23-year-old performed just two songs, then darted off to the Spice Girls concert at GM Place in Vancouver. “It’s so unfair!” 14-year-old Avril fan Hannah Bryla said in reaction to her idol’s behavior. “It seems like her fans aren’t important to her.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, December 24, 2007]

Avril was probably contractually obligated to Best Buy to play at least two songs, so she did the minimum and got the hell out of there, but what kind of message does that send to her fans? Little girls idolize her and she continues to act like a punk ass little bitch, refusing to acknowledge her fans and spitting at paparazzi and then blaming them for it.

In an April, 2007 interview with Salon Magazine, Avril basically said that her fans love her despite the fact that she treats them like shit. She also said she’s not strictly punk and that being an asshole is part of her brand:

Well, first of all, I don’t give a fuck what anyone says. I totally do my own thing and that’s always been my message. I do what I do. I have a ton of fans and they love me. I was put here … it was a purpose. I’ve touched people. I’m some people’s role model. So what I’m trying to say is — some people love me, some people hate me. That’s fine. That’s what it’s like with anything. Chocolate bars: People love Mars bars, they hate them. The color black: Some people love it, some people don’t like it at all. That’s the way it is.

As far as the whole punk thing, I think people just pick up on my attitude and my character. Obviously my clothing style, my fashion sense, in some ways nowadays is referred to as kind of, maybe, sort of, punk fashion. By no means do I walk around saying I’m punk. I listen to punk music, I appreciate punk music. A lot of my favorite bands are in punk. Do I think I’m punk? No. What is punk? Punk is anti-everything. A way of life. Anti-establishment. I don’t go by that.

Your question was why do people tie that to me. I guess it’s just the whole fashion thing. And it’s my attitude. It’s my I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude. It’s the way I talk and some people can put that label on me and because it’s such a strong label, other people will go, “Oh no she’s not.” Everyone knows I’m this girl who speaks my mind, I have a strong personality. I am a certain style, a certain brand, a certain thing. I’m a strong image whereas some other girls are just singers. I’m like this person, I have a character.

[From Salon.com]

So Avril is saying she can act and treat people however she wants because that’s part of her character and they’re still going to worship her anyway.

Avril is shown at the American Music Awards on 11/18/07, thanks to PRPhotos.

Update: Avril did at least 9 songs at that show, according to video results on YouTube after searching for Avril Lavigne Best Buy Burnaby. Star’s story that she ditched after two songs was incorrect.

Well it seemed like a pretty safe bet that the combination of Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty in the same room would either cause spontaneous combustion (probably due to all the flammable alcohol) or make the universe implode. The odds that everything would go off without a hitch seemed pretty slim, given their penchant for drama. But that’s exactly what happened. They were both reported to be well-behaved, though Winehouse seemed a little uninspired. But that’s probably attributable to a wide variety of drugs… and/or withdrawal from a wide variety of drugs. Really, the most troubling part of the evening was that Avril Lavigne won two awards. Not just because her music sucks, but because she’s such an egocentric brat that no one should give her a trophy to encourage her behavior.

Avril Lavigne rocked the MTV Europe Music Awards in Munich Thursday night, winning two of the show’s top prizes – while troubled singer Amy Winehouse surfaced for the event and offered a quiet “thanks.” Lavigne picked up the Most Addictive Track trophy for “Girlfriend,” as well as the Solo Artist of 2007 award – to which the 23-year-old screamed with delight to the packed auditorium: “I am so happy, this is an honor!”

Winehouse won the Artists’ Choice award, the only honor decided by fellow musicians. The singer, who’s appealing her recent pot charge, sheepishly accepted her award with a quiet “thanks” before walking off stage. Later in the evening Winehouse sang her classic “Back to Black,” but audience members noted the soul diva’s lack of energy.

Rapper Snoop Dogg hosted the event, appearing on stage in a selection of outfits including traditional German lederhosen and a kilt. Performers included Mika (despite suffering from strep throat), Lavigne, My Chemical Romance, Babyshambles and the Foo Fighters.

Pete Doherty happily signed autographs for the fans before the show, despite telling reporters he felt “lethargic.” But his performance later in the evening was anything but dreary. The rehabbing singer performed a crowd-pleasing rendition of “Delivery,” reuniting with his band Babyshambles. Earlier in the evening, Doherty denied any pre-show nerves, telling reporters: “It’s second nature, it’s what keeps me going really.”

[From People]

What the hell! How am I supposed to say anything snotty and/or amusing about celebrities when they all behave? Someone, for the love of God, throw a beer bottle at someone else, or just pour it over their head. This is way too tame and grown up for me. Where are Kid Rock and Tommy Lee fighting over Pamela Anderson’s boobs when you need them? I would always expect Europe to outdo America in terms of interesting awards show drama. You have the (aforementioned) two biggest unrepentant drama-loving musical druggies in the UK! Do something with it!

Picture note by Jaybird: I scoured the photo agencies for half an hour trying to find pictures of Snoop in the aforementioned lederhosen, but no luck. Something tells me they’re going to keep those pics tightly under wraps. So here’s Pete Doherty performing with his band Babyshambles at the MTV Europe Music Awards last night. Images thanks to WENN. Header image of Amy Winehouse performing last night at the awards show as well. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

Avril Lavigne always manages to up the ante on the amount of arrogance and conceited behavior possible from a bland singer best known for popularizing the bubble gum punk genre. This time she’s managed to outdo herself by acting mean and dismissive towards an eight-year-old girl at a wedding she was attending, making the little girl cry:

As [Avril Lavigne] chatted with attendees at a friend’s wedding, she was approached by an invited guest’s 8-year-old daughter, who - bright-eyed with excitement - gushed that she was a huge fan and asked the singer if she’d pose for a photo she could show her little pals. Eyewitnesses recoiled as Wicked Witch of the North screwed up her face and snarled: “NO! I don’t want to!” - then abruptly jetted off on her broom, leaving the red-faced tyke sobbing.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker’s column, October 29, 2007]

I could understand if the girl went up to Avril on the street and she was in a hurry and couldn’t stop, but she was at a wedding! It’s not like she had to go somewhere else at that point. Maybe didn’t want any pictures taken that day because she had a giant zit. The least she could have done is given the poor girl an autograph and talked to her for a minute.

Other exemplary behavior from Avril includes spitting at paparazzi cameras on three separate occasions and then blaming them for it, and bragging in an interview about kneeing a guy in the nuts for harassing her. She also claims to be the best thing that ever happened to her husband, Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley.

I wish there was a way for celebrities and musicians to get sliding scale pay based on how gracious and decent they are to fans. I know it’s not always possible, especially with the paparazzi in their face all the time, but surely people like Johnny Depp, Matt Damon and Jennifer Garner should get paid extra just for putting up with everyone and signing autographs with a smile. Avril Lavigne, Cameron Diaz, and Tobey Maguire should get a pay cut whenever they’re grumpy or mean to fans. That way, maybe they’ll realize how they’re able to make millions of dollars for just a few months’ work.

Avril Lavigne is shown on 8/26/07 backstage at the Teen Choice Awards, thanks to PRPhotos.

People magazine has released their annual best dressed list, ahead of the best dressed issue of their magazine. Then again, with a stylist in tow it’s easy to gain best dressed kudos, so the worst dressed is probably more interesting! I wish that list was longer.

Best Dressed 2007

Beyoncé Knowles – The Showstopper
Cameron Diaz – The Legs
Katie Holmes – The Classic
Penélope Cruz - The Continental
Jessica Biel – The All-American
Drew Barrymore – The Chameleon
Jennifer Lopez – The Glamour Girl
Reese Witherspoon – The Celeb Next Door
Gwen Stefani – The Trendsetter
Ali Larter – The Newcomer

Best Dressed Men

David Beckham
George Clooney
Johnny Depp
Terrence Howard
Brad Pitt

Best Dressed Couples

Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt
Gabriel Aubry & Halle Berry
Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale
Tony Parker & Eva Longoria

World’s Worst Dresser

Eva Green

Most Shocking Fashion Moments

Britney Spears shaves her head
Sanjaya Malakar’s faux-hawk
Kidnapped British sailors in oversized Iranian suits
Sen. Hillary Clinton’s cleavage
Naomi Campbell’s dress-up for community service
Paris Hilton’s get-out-of-jail get-up

Just Plain Wrong

Sienna Miller in black tights
Avril Lavigne’s combat boots & pink frilly dress

New York Daily News

Why have best dressed men lists? Even the most stylish man just tends to walk around in either a tuxedo or a t-shirt. There’s not much complicated about men’s dressing, why not have best punk rocker style for say, Pete Wentz? Or Best male use of make up, which would probably also be won by Pete Wentz.

I’m also confused about the criteria: Avril Lavinge’s lace dress and combat boots is a style no-no, but Lily Allen’s signature look is a dress and hi-top sneakers (Lily is mentioned in a British best dressed section of the magazine). Aren’t these just different versions of the same look? And none of the women on the best dressed list are cleavage shy, but it’s not okay for Hilary Clinton to show off her assets?

World’s Worst Dresser Eva Green is shown at the Casino Royale world premiere on 11/14/06 and the BAFTA awards on 2/11/07. (PRPhotos)

World’s Best Dressed Woman Beyonce Knowles is shown at the VMAs, at the opening of Jay-Z’s 40-40 club in Vegas on 9/6/07 and at the launch of Emporio Armani Diamonds Fragrance on 8/16/07. (PRPhotos)

Just Plain Wrong Sienna Miller in black tights at the Factory Girl UK premiere on 3/13/07 and at the 2006 Costume Institute Gala on 5/1/06. (PRPhotos)

Just Plain Wrong Avril Lavigne in a pink dress with combat boots at her CD release party in April. (via Faded Youth)

Just when you thought skunk-haired Avril Lavigne could not get more annoying, arrogant or talentless she goes and outdoes herself with yet another interview in which she comes off like a spoiled brat.

She calls people that hate her “losers” which is fine, I mean that’s what everyone does on the Internet when someone doesn’t agree with them so it must be ok.

She also says how generous she is by using the example of donating a bunch of her clothing to Katrina victims. I’m sure there were about 3 preteens displaced by flooding that want to look like punk poser schoolgirls and are as short and little as she is. It’s so gracious of her to think of them. This woman makes millions of dollars and can’t wear clothing twice, that’s a ridiculous example if it’s the best one she could come up with of her charity.

On dealing with her incredible success:
“Selling 24 million albums hasn’t really affected me, but it has changed things. I can’t walk into a room full of people any more without everybody turning their heads, and I can only eat in certain restaurants where I know I won’t get hassled. But that’s OK. I was born to do this, and so I’ve learned how to cope.”

On her competition:
“Someone like Kelly Clarkson is beautiful and has a pretty voice, but with me you get a much stronger image. I’m tough, I have a look that girls want to copy, and I sound a particular way. It’s good if you’re not easily ignored. And I’m not.”

On her generosity:
“I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, ‘Take it to Katrina!’ I also like to give stuff to people who are my ‘workers,’ especially if they don’t make much money.”

On her polarizing personality:
“People love me and people hate me, but I’m comfortable in my own skin and that’s what counts. And anyway if you do hate me, you’re the loser, not me.”

[Q Magazine thanks to US Weekly]

WTF is that “I was born to do this, and so I’ve learned how to cope”? I didn’t know it was possible to sound that obnoxious and arrogant on paper, but Avril pulls it off every time.

In the press she’s dissed Britney, told a story about how she socked a guy who teased her, and said her husband knew he was lucky to have her. She’s also spit on paparazzi on three different occasions. She’s a shitty pop singer and a nasty person to boot.

I know that people are multifaceted and it might be unfair to judge the celebrities based on their interviews, but it’s easy to tell Avril is a total ass. Some stars seem like genuinely good hard-working people who are grateful for their success, like Jennifer Garner, Matt Damon, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Kate Winslet. Others need lessons in humility and poverty, like Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Nicole Richie, Cameron Diaz and of course Avril. I’m sure there are a few more names ya’ll can add to those lists.

When celebrities act like this we can refuse to support them by not buying their records or going to their movies. Avril’s fanbase probably doesn’t read celebrity blogs yet, and I doubt ‘tween girls would organize a boycott or even care that Avril is a stuckup bitch.

Avril is shown on 4/19 at a CD signing. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Not totally surprisingly, Chantal Kreviazuk, who accused Avril Lavigne of ripping off songs and taking writing credit she didn’t deserve, has recanted. Everything little thing.

I would like to apologize for any misconceptions concerning Avril Lavigne, which may have resulted from statements I made in my interview with Performing Songwriter Magazine. It was not my intention to call Avril’s songwriting ability or ethics into question.

“My statements and any inference from my statements, which call into question Avril’s ethics or ability as a respected and acclaimed songwriter, should be disregarded and are retracted. Avril is an accomplished songwriter and it has been my privilege to work with her.”

[From Reuters]

Sounds like someone got served. Kreviazuk had attacked Lavigne’s songwriting and ethics in Performing Songwriter Magazine.

I mean, Avril, songwriter? Avril doesn’t really sit and write songs by herself or anything. Avril will also cross the ethical line, and no one says anything. That’s why I’ll never work with her again. I sent her a song two years ago called ‘Contagious,’ and I just saw the track listing to this album [the newly-released The Best Damn Thing] and there’s a song called ‘Contagious’ on it—and my name’s not on it. What do you do with that?”

[From Torontoist]

Lavigne responded on her website, saying, “Chantal’s comments are damaging to my reputation and a clear defamation of my character and I am considering taking legal action.” Sounds like she took it.

I feel really badly for Chantal Kreviazuk, whoever she is. I really doubt a person in her position (not well known but well respected within the music industry) would say something like that about a famous singer unless there was truth to it. It seems like most websites and people in the music industry consider Avril to be somewhat of a hack. The way Kreviazuk took back absolutely everything, it almost seems like she’s groveling. You’ll note that she never denies saying any of those things, or tries to blame the writer or say things were taken out of context, which is good. She’s of course responsible for her own words. I don’t see how she could say something so powerful and then take it back, without giving some sort of reason. I’m guessing the reason is someone else’s power, combined with fear.