Well, this is a surprise! I’m including two women that most critics and awards-watchers considered to be the biggest contenders for all of the Best Actress awards this year, and both of these women left the BAFTAs empty-handed last night. Marion Cotillard was up for Rust & Bone, and Jessica Chastain was up for Zero Dark Thirty, and both lost to French actress Emmanuelle Riva for Amour. Riva even upset fan-favorite Jennifer Lawrence! SHOCK!

Well, at least Jessica and Marion wore “interesting” gowns. I guess. I actually flat-out hate Jessica Chastain’s structured, asymmetrical Roland Mouret gown. It’s just so disappointing! This is her second awards season as a nominee (in a row!), and she just cannot get it right. It’s not that this Mouret gown is “terrible” or anything. It’s just the wrong shade of blue and it’s too tight on her, and her hair is wrong and her makeup is just kind of meh. Jessica could be making such a big impact on the red carpet, and she just… I don’t know. She gets bad advice, maybe? Or she has bad taste?

As for Marion, she wore Dior, obviously. It’s from the same collection as Jennifer Lawrence’s SAG gown two weekends ago. And it has the same weird feature – the dress “comes apart” and there’s sheer netting holding all of the pieces together so that if one part of the dress “rides up” you get a glimpse of legs and/or biscuit. It seems like a really weird design movement, right? As for this particular dress… eh. It’s okay. I don’t like it, but I hate lemon yellow or chrome yellow or whatever you want to call it. I guess the “muffin hip” design is supposed to be super-avant-garde and structural too, but blah. Whatever.

Photos courtesy of FameFlynet and Pacific Coast News.

Helen Mirren is THE QUEEN of all she surveys. Even if she went home a loser (Helen lost the BAFTA to Emmanuelle Riva), Helen wins at life. Helen debuted some cotton-candy-pink hair which made me double-take. Instead of looking like a little old lady, Helen kind of rocks the pink hair in a punk rock way, though. I love her. She looks amazing. Helen wore Nicholas Oakwell Spring 2013 Couture – it’s actually a lovely gown.

More photos from the BAFTAs… WHY is it a thing these days to wear full-length gowns that are somehow see-through? Can I blame Rachel Weisz’s awful Golden Globes dress? Ugh. Anyway, this is Thandie Newton in Louis Vuitton. I’m not saying I would have liked it if the skirt was lined, I’m just saying that I wouldn’t have thought it was THIS TRASHY. Thandie is too classy for this gown.

Sarah Jessica Parker in an Elie Saab jumpsuit thing. Can I just say? I love this. I love everything about this look. She looks sleek and fashion-forward AND comfortable. Love her styling, and love her for wearing pants to the BAFTAs! One of my favorite looks of the evening.

Hayley Atwell in Antonio Berardi. Ugh. Fug disaster.

Gemma Arterton in a striped Celia Kritharioti Haute Couture 2013 gown. I’ve developed a strange affection for Gemma (I think she’s gorgeous), and while this wasn’t my least favorite gown, it wasn’t the best either. I just don’t think she should try so hard, you know? Why go with stripes? Why not go with something that suits her lovely figure?

Elizabeth Olsen in Chanel Couture. This looks like a child’s art project – like, tissue paper on mesh or something. It’s just awful. I do not give her any points for being unique or for wearing Chanel. This is terrible.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and Pacific Coast News.

Jennifer Garner supported her husband Ben Affleck at last night’s BAFTAs in a snore of a dress by Roland Mouret. She was probably going for classy, and she achieved that look somewhat, but I feel that her styling really dragged the whole look down. Maybe with some more daring hair and bolder makeup this would have worked, but it just looks too staid to me overall. Her makeup artist didn’t even fill in her brows and her lashes look non-existent. The black and white color blocking on the gown along with the goofy peplum and v-strap neckline just make it look like she’s wearing an apron. (Credit: Kaiser, I wouldn’t have come up with that on my own!) Something nice: I love her jewelry, I would wear the hell out of those gorgeous drop earrings, and check out her bracelet.

Garner’s man Affleck earned best film, best director, and best editing for Argo. (Here’s a complete list of winners.) I recently saw the film and while I enjoyed most of it I found myself furiously taking notes wondering how much of it was historically accurate. I guess that doesn’t matter if you suspend disbelief, but to me a lot of plot points seemed improbable and they were – just about all the high drama that I questioned turned out to be invented. It’s a great movie, though, and an uplifting story of American triumph, with some help from our friendly neighbors to the north. (The Canadians can take way more credit for that rescue than they were given in the movie, btw.)

Here’s another chick who got it wrong at last night’s BAFTAs, British singer Paloma Faith. I’m just adding her here as I want to make fun of her hair. Is that an entire hairpiece or is her own hair worked in there somehow and not just swept up underneath? I just complained about Garner’s brows but they could be much worse.

Oh and here are photos of Ben and Jen at a pre-BAFTAs party on Saturday night. The first one below cracked me up. Her hair and makeup look better for this night out than at the BAFTAs.

Photo credit: FameFlynet and WENN.com

Here are some photos from the “2012 BAFTA Los Angeles Britannia Awards Presented By BBC AMERICA”. I thought it was, like, some kind of LA premiere of Skyfall, but it’s not. It’s just that several of the stars of Skyfall were there. Still, I think Skyfall has one big problem: most people really don’t care about the ladies of Skyfall and what they are wearing. Which is unfortunate because I really like talking about fashion. So I’ll include the ladies in a moment, and let’s discuss Kerry Washington.

Kerry is in ABC’s Scandal, and she’s gotten great reviews for her performance. She’s also in Django Unchained, one of the most anticipated films of the Christmas season. So, everything is looking good for her career. I also think Kerry has quite a style-eye too – she’s not afraid of color, she knows what flatters her body, she knows well enough to avoid the “trashier” looking dresses. So what’s my problem with Kerry in this hot pink Temperley London dress? Nothing really. She looks beautiful. I take issue with those little bows (WTF?), but it’s fine. I guess we’re not supposed to talk about how drastically skinny she’s become over the past few years? Sure.

Daniel Craig is such an a—hole, but he knows how to wear the hell out of a tuxedo, doesn’t he?

Naomie Harris in Miu Miu. Girl, you need to fire yo’ stylist. Naomie is so pretty, but her style is SO TRAGIC.

Olivia Munn in Temperley London. It’s a pretty dress… but it doesn’t really work on her. The dress is all “Showgirl!” and Olivia is all “not a showgirl.”

Berenice Marlohe in Oscar de la Renta. Nice. She has an eyemakeup problem, though.

Quentin Tarantino! I can’t help it, I love him. He cray.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Because why not? They look so cute!

Natasha Henstridge has gained weight since I last saw photos of her. It looks really good on her – she’s curvy and lovely.

Franka Potente or Alanis Morissette?

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.