This is Part II of the Amfar fashion – go here for part one. For this post’s headliner, I’ve chosen Miss Cannes herself, Elisabetta Canalis. It seems like Cannes is perfect for her – she gets to show up, hang out on a yacht, sunbathe, “pose” for photos, wear pretty clothes, drink, pose some more, get pap’d, rinse and repeat. She’s one of the many, many “professional girls” at the festival, spending her time “working.” God knows where Clooney is. God knows what all of this is really about, but there’s probably some conspiracy afoot. She’s wearing Cavalli, by the way.

Here’s Naomi Campbell in Givenchy, just like Courtney Love. This isn’t Naomi’s traditional kind of look. I don’t hate it on her. My first reaction was “Bizarre… odd fit.” But as I look at it more, I really like it.

Michelle Rodriguez in a Jean Fares Couture gown. From the front she was covered up, but the back is very open and exposed. I like that Michelle is “trying”. I just don’t think she’s succeeding. I’m saying this as someone who likes her a great deal – she’s not a fashion girl. Her attempts at being all girly and frilly just fall flat. She’s not that girl.

Mischa Barton in black strapless, designer unknown. I don’t hate the dress, and it actually looks half-decent on her. But in closeups, you could tell that she was screwed up. She looked wasted. And would it have killed her to take care of her roots and actually do her hair for the event? She’s irrelevant as an actress, so she should really make the effort when she’s trying to be a fashion girl.

Freida Pinto in Lanvin, once again, one of the few to go short. She made her boyfriend Dev Patel come out too, and he doesn’t really look happy about it. He should have done a black suit or a tux, honestly. But Freida looks cute. I like this dress on her, even with all of that weirdness at the neckline.

Bar Raefali in Cavalli. Throughout all of Bar’s appearances at Cannes, it really seems like she’s shopping for a new boyfriend. This dress should make it easier. And some professional actually did her makeup this time so she doesn’t look so busted (in the face).

Gwen Stefani in her own L.A.M.B. design. Too much makeup, hair too overdone. She was one of the first ladies to walk the press line too – she really wanted to be photographed by everybody.

And finally, Brooke Shields in Marchesa. Unflattering and fug once again, Georgina Chapman.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Yesterday was The Day Leonardo DiCaprio Officially Moved On. We were gifted with two Leo gems – the first was a report from Page Six regarding a Leo sighting with Blake Lively, in Cannes. Then, hours later, Leo and Blake (Lake? Bleo?) made their official pap-friendly debut as a couple. All of this made me wonder: how does Single White Female extraordinaire Bar Refaeli feel about all of this? Bar is in Cannes as well, and she’s been party-hopping and premiering for several days. These photos are from last night’s premiere of The Beaver. Bar wore this clingy, navy Roberto Cavalli (with jewelry by Chopard). Now… I’ve never been a big fan of Bar, as a person or as a model. Her personality seems at best, non-existent and at worst, snotty. As a model, she’s definitely lacking. She has a girl-next-door prettiness but I’ve never seen a photo of her that I would call “fierce” or “gorgeous” or “stunning”. Her body is great, sure. But she’s only a known quantity as a model because she was boning Leo. Does this Cavalli look good on her figure? Sure. But the face! The face is so meh. She even looks busted here.

If you’re going to get all hot for a model, why can’t it be Doutzen Kroes? I love her. I love her face. I love her build. I love everything about her. She’s my model crush. I don’t know who did the dress. It’s not important what or who she’s wearing when she’s got that face.

And finally, because for some reason The Beaver red carpet was the hot ticket for models, we have Naomi Campbell and her Russian. She wore Azzedine Alaia and a wig with bangs. I have to admit, she’s one of the few women who can really work the bangs (trauma).

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Here are some photos from Tuesday night’s premiere of The Beaver in Cannes. Mel Gibson actually showed for the premiere, after skipping the earlier photo call. Judging from the state of Mel, I’d say that he probably spent most of the day doing shots and smoking cigs while laying on a hotel balcony. More on that in a moment, but seriously, Mel is looking especially reptilian in these photos. Jodie, meanwhile, looks rather gorgeous in this striking navy Armani. I love the asymmetrical cut on the top, and I’m usually not a fan of asymmetry.

By the way, when Mel Gibson entered the theatre for the premiere, apparently he got a standing ovation. FOR TEN MINUTES. And the film was generally well-received too. Because Europeans love women-beaters?

For the rest of the photos, I thought I’d do captions. Just because I haven’t done that in a while.

Mel: “And I said ‘blow me’ and she said ‘NO!’ Can you believe that? Durr. So I had to smack her.”

Mel: “You’re a WHAT?!? You like to do WHAT to LADIES?!? You‘re going to hell.”

Jodie: “Ew, did you just fart?”

Mel: “I wish I had my guns right now. I would take down all of these Frenchies.”

Remember how I said Mel probably spent his day laying out on balcony, getting hammered? Yeah. There’s photo evidence. His poor sunburned moobs. They deserve to buried in the rose garden.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I will not discuss Penelope Cruz’s hair in this post. I’ve already discussed my feelings on Penelope’s ever-changing bangs (trauma) situation here and here. I’ll just say that for the Pirates of the Caribbean 4 photo call early Saturday in Cannes, there were no bangs. And then they magically appeared for the Cannes premiere, hours later. I will, however, talk about Penelope’s dress. This junk is… just tacky. It’s Marchesa, obviously. I guess Marchesa’s designer, Georgina Chapman (wife of Harvey Weinstein), just built an entire collection of budget, unflattering, trashy-looking lace dresses (remember Rachel McAdams?) for the film festival and Harvey encouraged all of the young actresses in his films to wear the designs. Should I try to say something nice? Eh. The color isn’t horrible (but it’s not good either). Other than that, I hate the entire look.

I think Johnny looks really nice, though. I think Johnny and Penelope make such an attractive red carpet couple. They seem very at ease with other, so much so that I wonder where the hell Vanessa Paradis and Javier Bardem are. Maybe Pene and Johnny get some “freebie” time together, huh?

Here are some photos from the photo call earlier in the day. I don’t even like Penelope’s dress here either! It’s Stella McCartney. I hate the way the neck and the shoulders of the dress are cut. I find that style so unflattering on ALL women.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Sarah Jessica Parker arrived at the Cannes Film Festival on Friday, and she had a lot of duties. She’s trying to promote her film I Don’t Know How She Does It, which doesn’t come out for months and months. She was also there to be “the American celebrity” at the premiere of a Chinese detective film Wu Xia (which will be called Dragon in America). I think her real reason for showing up at the festival was to show off this Elie Saab dress. It’s certainly unique, isn’t it? I’m not saying that in a crude “It’s so ugly, I’ll just call it ‘unique’” kind of way. This Elie Saab is a great improvement over that tacky, FUBAR Valentino from the other day. While I think this dress has faults – that black lace/netting junk at the too-high neckline, waist and wrists, for one – I appreciate that SJP went for something different. Hey, at least it’s not Marchesa.

The fabric – the patterned silk georgette – of the body of the gown is rather beautiful. I would like to see that fabric used for a sleeveless, long, full-skirted sundress/gown. It would be more appropriate for Cannes, and it would just be prettier overall. Technically, this gown is from Elie Saab’s Autumn/Winter collection, though, which is why it’s long-sleeved.

For another event, SJP stepped out in a doily. The actual dress wasn’t so bad (kind of Miss Havisham, but it’s okay), but then she wrapped a doily around herself. And then there’s the problem with the pearls…hh, SJP. Crazy woman.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Pacific Coast News.

In my mind, I often compare Tilda Swinton to Cate Blanchett. It’s not really fair to either of them, because both are stand-alone talents and impressively capable women. Cate is “the beauty” and Cate’s got all of the interest in style and fashion and she gets more attention overall. Tilda’s a world-class actress who quietly does her work and doesn’t seem to understand the other “parts” of being an actress – wearing pretty clothes and looking great on red carpets and magazines. So why do I compare them? To me, they both seem like aliens. Cate is the alien who has come to earth to charm, to love and be loved. Tilda is the alien who has come to earth to study us and she often fails to “blend in.”

So these are photos of Tilda Swinton’s alien-brain trying to compute what’s happening at the Cannes Film Festival. She’s promoting We Need To Talk About Kevin, a story about… well, it’s based on the book by Lionel Shriver. It’s about…sigh… it’s difficult to put in non-controversial terms. It’s about a boy (Kevin) who kills his classmates and teachers in a Columbine-like massacre. Tilda plays Kevin’s mother. It’s about whether the Kevins of the world are born that way, or whether they are made by their environments. It’s supposed to be an intense movie, and Tilda is already under consideration, nay, a front-runner, for all of the Best Actress awards and nominations. Here are some early reviews of the film from Cannes – go here and here. Here are a couple of (very difficult) clips from the film:

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I published this Angelina Jolie story later in the day yesterday, because I knew I was going to be consumed by NEW JOLIE PHOTOS today. The photo call for Kung Fu Panda 2 has already gone down, and I think Jolie and Brad Pitt are due at the big evening premiere tonight…? Maybe. I’m seeing that the Tree of Life premiere isn’t happening until Monday, and I thought that was happening tonight. Ten bucks says that whenever Jolie appears on an evening red carpet, she’ll be wearing either A) A glittery sack or B) black. No, I shouldn’t be so harsh. For Cannes, Angelina sometimes tries something new. Fingers crossed that Angelina wears something awesome.

As for La Jolie at the KFP 2 photo call – she looked nice. Her skin looked great (her skin has been looking amazing for months now). Her hair was okay (not great but not bad). And she wore a glorious beige sack and cinched it with a belt. PRAISE IT. Here are some quotes from Angelina at the KFP press conference:

On violence in KFP2 and showing her kids violent films: “You have to know your children. There are children that have a better understanding and are ready earlier than others. But for a film like this, I don’t see this as a film that’s too violent. I think this is actually quite the opposite because the strength, even in the final battle, the inner peace and sending back that negative energy is what wins. My boys are in martial arts classes. Boys are boys and they have a certain kind of energy, naturally. It’s been wonderful to get them focused on martial arts to teach them about the discipline and the respect and the control of their own bodies. I think to ignore that that’s a part of humanity, especially little boys, is wrong. So it’s to help guide them — what’s a positive thing, what’s a good guy, To try not to [use violence] certainly, but if you have to, to defend yourself.”

On bringing the kids to Cannes: “Yes, we’re all in France. Our whole family is in France and we’re very happy. They’re running around the hotel right now, playing games and making a giant mess, I’m sure. They’re having a great time. They love it here. Cannes can be overwhelming and it can be that you meet a lot of friendly faces and have a good laugh and you also get a chance to see some great films. It’s very nice.”

On picking KFP2 to appeal more to her kids: “We’re all big kids at heart…but in many ways I did it for them and I was excited for them to see it. The trick of a sequel is you have to make it better than the first one, which is hard to do especially when the first one is so successful, and I think we pulled it off.”

On finding inner peace: “Especially for people that have children. You wake up and if they’re healthy, you know that that’s the most important thing, so you have first of all that peace. They also come with a lot of chaos, but we’re all searching for it. It’s part of the human journey. We all have moments of inner peace and we lose it and we look for it again. But really it’s in knowing the people you love are safe and healthy. That’s the best.”

On her real life alter ego to all her tough characters: “Certainly my alter ego is who I am 100%, which is a mommy who is changing diapers and coloring all night long. I’m sure I’m very very soft. I’ve always been drawn to strong characters and I admire strong women, emotionally and physically, just people I feel are fighting for something. . .have a sense of justice and injustice. I’ve been very lucky that I came to my career at a time that women are being allowed these roles and have such great opportunities for these types of characters.”

[From Pop Sugar]

Sounds good. I’m sure some people will react poorly to her comments about exposing her kids to violence, but I think she sounds like a mom who has actually thought about all of those issues long and hard, and come up with the solutions that work for her. Plus, I think the Jolie-Pitt kids are exposed to real-life scenarios where they see the real effects of violent societies – she and Brad let the kids meet wounded veterans, refugees, etc.

Back to the photo call – Jack Black was predictably hyperactive, and he and Angelina are totally cute together. Dustin Hoffman was there too! My favorite photos are the ones of Angelina making a face as she embraces the panda.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

These are some photos from both the photo call and the press conference for Pirates of Caribbean 4: This One’s Just For The Money. Now, I think Penelope is a beautiful and talented woman, and she’s currently one of my favorite girls to watch. That being said, her bangs trauma is making me twitch. Sometimes, you and I will disagree about someone’s bangs and I don’t like to admit that I see your point, that the girl doesn’t look hideous with bangs, or that maybe the overall hairstyle is more flattering than I’ve originally said. This is not one of those times. Penelope is a gorgeous woman – and these bangs are a styling tragedy, completely. They are way too short, and they do strange things to her lovely face. She was aiming for Audrey Hepburn, and she did not succeed.

Oh, and the outfit is kind of fug (IMO) too. Snowflakes and a giant neck bow? In May in the South of France? Nope. Maybe in December in Berlin. But not today. And not with that giant bow/collar tragedy.

UPDATE: Whoops! Okay, this photo call took place in Russia, not Cannes! My bad. It’s still a bad look for May, though, even though it’s more excusable for Russia.

Meanwhile, Johnny really is bringing the hot lately, right? Look, his clothes even fit! His hair is great, and he has his “dirty” look under control. Nice.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Bedhead already covered one of the first interviews with Woody Allen to come out of the Cannes Film Festival. Woody is there to promote his latest movie, Midnight in Paris, and these are some pics from the photo call. In my humble opinion, Rachel stole the show in this Maxime Simoens dress with floral appliqués. While the dress is kind of bridesmaid-y and bridal in general, Rachel looks stunning. She’s just… so pretty it hurts. I’m not a huge fan of her as a blonde, but this current blonde she’s working isn’t so bad. Not bad at all.

More photos from the Midnight in Paris photo call – Adrien Brody looking like The Douche Supreme, all in black in the middle of the friggin’ day in the south of France. WTF? Take off the hat, you jag!

And here’s Rachel’s boyfriend, Michael Sheen, looking like Welsh Jesus.

And Owen Wilson, looking nice. I think he and Rachel are playing husband-wife or girlfriend-boyfriend in the film, but here they look like brother-sister.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I thought I had heard a rumor that this might be the first Brangelina-less Cannes Film Festival in five years, but thank God it’s not true. While Brad’s latest film, the Terrence Malick-directed Tree of Life – isn’t up for competition for the Palme d’Or, the film is going to get a major premiere and roll-out at the festival. And as for Angelina – well, she will likely be giving interviews too, because scenes from Kung Fu Panda 2 will also be getting a screening. Yay! Brangelina on the red carpet!

Cue the paparazzi: Cinema’s rite of spring – the Cannes Film Festival – will feature an all-star cast, as will be officially announced on Thursday. But, for now, PEOPLE has learned that fans can expect to find Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis, Penélope Cruz and Javier Bardem, as well as Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson sharing the spotlight along the Croisette from May 11 through 22.

In addition, invitations to the 64th Cannes Fest are also out to Rolling Stone Keith Richards, Madonna, Jack Black and France’s First Lady, Carla Bruni, who happens to be making her acting debut in a Woody Allen movie.

One thing is already for certain: Robert DeNiro will be sticking around the entire fest – he is the head of the jury that hands out the prizes.

Topping the list of premieres is the multi-generational saga Tree of Life, starring Pitt and Penn and directed by the highly regarded Terence Malick (Badlands, Days of Heaven). Pitt will no doubt remain in the South of France during the first half of the festival, which will also bring a sneak peek of Kung Fu Panda 2, featuring the voice of Jolie, as well as that of Dustin Hoffman and Jack Black.

Depp’s appearance is keyed to a world premiere, that of Pirates of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, which marks the return of Jack Sparrow. Cruz is among the costars.

The festival’s previously announced Opening Selection, Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris, will bring to Cannes cast members Rachel McAdams, Michael Sheen, Owen Wilson, Kathy Bates, Adrien Brody and, it is anticipated, Marion Cotillard, though she is due to give birth at the end of April.

Also on the agenda: a special tribute to the late Elizabeth Taylor, whose amFAR event to benefit her AIDS foundation has become an annual Cannes event.

[From People]

Tree of Life is also supposed to be getting a big, splashy London premiere on May 4, but who knows if that date was set before the Cannes date? My guess is that the big premiere will be for the world’s media at Cannes, and then they’ll go directly to London for another big premiere. I’m seriously excited about this, even though I think Tree of Life looks like artsy BS. Oh, HOLD UP. Sean Penn is in Tree of Life too! Do you think Sean will bring his young lover Scarlett Johansson to the event so we can have a glittery sack fashion faceoff between ScarJo and Angelina? Oh, this makes my day!

Photos courtesy of WENN.