Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have gone overseas after squandering all their cash and goodwill stateside. The two earned second place on UK’s Big Brother last month, and are trying to parlay that into some sort of career over in England. I doubt it will last for them there, either. They’re too dimwitted to learn German, but they should probably consider it as their next career move. I’m sorry, British readers, that you have to deal with these people in the media now, but we’re well rid of them.

Anyway, as part of a British “documentary” on them they recorded a video showing off their extensive gun collection, in which Spencer refers repeatedly to how “amazing” it is to own guns in America, and how it’s not allowed in Britain. These two own semi-automatic rifles, sniper rifles, and enough guns to take down a small city. British officials are outraged at this stupid video, which must be thrilling to these two, because they finally got people to give a sh*t about them in some capacity:

Montag and Spencer showed off their arsenal of guns during a portion of their new documentary for the U.K.’s Channel 5, titled “Speidi: Scandal, Secrets & Surgery!”

The couple known as Speidi flaunted a collection of more than six firearms — including an FBI sniper rifle, a Benelli semi-automatic shotgun and a rapid engagement precision rifle — while filming the special inside their Santa Barbara, Calif., beach house, according to The Sun.

“I want to share something with you that I know, unfortunately, you cannot possess in your amazing country,” Pratt tells Channel 5. “So, I will let you have a glimpse at the amazing laws of America.”

The reality star’s wife then goes on to take out her favorite rifle and discuss how much she loves guns and shooting.

“This is one of my favorite activities,” Montag says. “It gives me a new sense of self every time I do. It makes me feel proud to be an American.” She adds, “I’d like to say something about guns as well. I think it is one of the greatest rights to be an American. I personally didn’t feel safe especially with crazed fans out there and stalkers. If somebody broke into our home, I think this is the only thing that would actually save my life.”

The two “Celebrity Big Brother” contestants, who have been described as “the most reviled” in the show’s history, reportedly received death threats because of their behavior on the series.

Montag and Pratt’s comments about guns were met with backlash. Peter Squires, professor of criminology and public policy at Brighton University, expressed his outrage to the Daily Star.

“With the recent shooting deaths of model Reeva Steenkamp and country singer Mindy McCready, the dangers of keeping guns at home are all too obvious,” he said via the Daily Star. “The suggestion by Speidi is crass attention-seeking behavior. Let’s face it, neither of them were near the front of the queue when brains, decorum or thinking skills were being handed out.”

Oh burn, I love that quote! They weren’t at the front of the “queue” when brains were handed out! Incidentally, Spencer was arrested for felony firearms protection for trying to bring handguns in his luggage back from a trip to Costa Rica.

Kaiser and I both live in Virginia (not together!) where guns are popular and prevalent. Neither of us have a problem with responsible gun ownership, but that’s not what we’re talking about here, is it? These are famewhores bragging about their over-the-top arsenal to make headlines, and it’s working. Here you have two idiots who went broke on over a million bucks. They set the cause back considerably with this nonsense.

Also, I was only in England for a couple of weeks with a friend after college but I was really surprised with their police force, who don’t carry guns for the most part. One night outside the bars I saw a diminutive female cop/bobby getting up in the face of a huge belligerent dude and arguing with him! It struck me that you rarely see that in the states, the cops walk in, take command and will slap on the cuffs if anyone gives them crap. That’s not to say one society is better than the other, or even that the gun issue can explain why the cops are different, just that the cultural differences in their police force surprised me. I guess I just don’t want to think too hard about Heidi and Spencer owning closets full of weapons while there are well trained law enforcement officers in other countries who don’t even use them.

Heidi and Spencer are shown on 2-2-13 in London. Credit: FameFlynet UK

These are some photos of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt outside of ITV Studios in London yesterday. They posed for paparazzi with a copy of The Sun, that terrible Rupert Murdoch tabloid. They’ve just finished Celebrity Big Brother (they came in second place), and I’m assuming they’re still in England to do some bottom-of-the-barrel paid interviews and photo-ops, considering very few people care enough about them to actually hate them or write about them… except for me, maybe. Spencer and Heidi have definitely been trying (and succeeding) to “go away” for the past year – Heidi made one big (paid) public appearance last year in Las Vegas and she gave a few interviews about her “regrets” and how she wished she and Spencer had been smarter about their money.

Speaking of, just how much money did Spencer and Heidi make and how much of it was lost in crystal purchases, excessive bodyguards, crazy plastic surgery and Heidi’s sad attempt at a pop music career? Two years ago, they claimed there was barely any money left. And now they’ve given an interview (paid interview) claiming that they’re broke because they spent the last of their money before the Mayan apocalypse. For real.

Reality TV stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt frittered away their $10 million fortune because they believed the world would end in 2012.

In 2010, Pratt revealed the couple was broke and on the verge of bankruptcy, and they even gave up their luxury home and moved in with his father to save money.

He has now admitted they deliberately spent all their cash before December 21, 2012 —the day the world was set to end, according to a prophesy based on the Mayan calendar.

He tells Britain’s OK! magazine, “We made and spent at least 10 million dollars. The thing is, we heard that the planet was going to end in 2012. We thought, we have got to spend this money before the asteroid hits.

“Here’s some advice, definitely do not spend your money thinking asteroids are coming. But the world didn’t end.”

Opening up about his extravagant lifestyle, Pratt adds, “I would give my friends $15,000 for their birthday. Just cash. I would buy people cars. Every valet I met got a couple of hundred pounds tip. I would pay people $200 just to open doors for us.”

[From SF Gate]

I’m sure that this is just some BS. Like, I’m sure that Spencer and Heidi are pretty broke, absolutely, but I don’t think they’re broke because “they spent all of their money because they thought the apocalypse was coming.” They spent all of their money because they’re incredibly stupid people with bad money-management skills… who may or may not have believed the Mayan apocalypse was real.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

The last time we wrote about Heidi Montag, it was September 2011. So, it’s been more than a year since an image of Heidi Montag has graced this site. Have you missed her? Not so much, right? I had actually forgotten about her completely. In 2010, and at the age of 23, Heidi underwent more than a dozen plastic surgery procedures, for literally NO REASON. Like, she had her “back scooped” and she had breast augmentation and a crazy amount of Botox and on and on. What was sad/ridiculous about the whole thing is that all of the surgeries made her look rather freakish and weird – go and look at my last post about her, which I wrote 13 months ago. She looked AWFUL. Like her body was rejecting all of the surgeries and Botox, and everything about her just looked swollen and toxic.

Well, these are some new photos of Heidi in Las Vegas over the weekend. She hosted the “Crazy Horse III Gentlemen’s Club’s three-year anniversary party at Playground.” She still looks… off. I swear, her bolt-ons look even bigger, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she had gone in and gotten bigger implants at some point in the past year. As for the rest of her… she doesn’t look so puffy and sickly as she did last year, but she still doesn’t look like the picture of health or anything. According to the Las Vegas Sun, Spencer Pratt was at the event but he didn’t walk the red carpet. They also say that Spencer is currently enrolled at USC for a degree in political science, which is news to me.

A few days ago, Heidi did an interview with Access Hollywood which got some attention. When asked about all of her plastic surgery, Heidi said: “I would never do it again and I never recommend it for anyone. I was definitely way in over my head. I’m glad it worked out and you can’t really reverse time. I kind of wanted a few enhancements and then it kind of got out of hand. I wasn’t told really the repercussions and what would happen, emotionally and psychically and the pain I would be in. I was kind of in shock.” She said she hasn’t had anything else done since then and now she’s “focused now on being healthy, alive and strong. If you’re not beautiful inside it really doesn’t matter what you look like outside, and I think I kind of lost track of that.”

Heidi also talked a bit about her money situation in the interview too, saying that her “one regret” about being out of the spotlight these days is that she “only misses the money… If we would have saved our money, it would have been better. I’ve never really counted, so I’m not sure [how much we lost], a lot… over a million or so.” You can read more of the interview here. She actually sounds kind of… over the Hollywood thing, maybe? Like she’s spent the last few years learning how to be less of a famewhore. She and Spencer have been married for four years and together for six years in total. Ugh.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

This photo is from November, 2009

You know how Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt squandered all the millions they made from being famewhores for a couple of years and were living rent free in a beach house that Spencer’s family owned? (A full recap of their foolishness is here.) You would at least assume that they were flat broke and not deep in debt, but the truth is that they owe “hundreds of thousands in commissions” to their agents, and of course can’t get meager additional jobs because a) no one has any interest in them and b) their agents aren’t going to work for them because they never got paid. Spencer is getting desperate and is calling his agent “30 times” a day.

The former Hills star is so unpopular in Hollywood, even his agent won’t answer his calls!

A source tells the new Us Weekly — on stands now! — that Heidi Montag’s hubby, 28, still owes his agency “hundreds of thousands of dollars in commissions” from the millions he and Montag, 25, earned during their run on the MTV reality series.

The source adds that Pratt calls his agent up to 30 times a day. “They just laugh at him or pick up and hang up.”

[From US Weekly]

There’s one additional quote in the print edition that’s not here, and it just states the obvious “Spencer calls his agent daily looking for work, but he won’t book him till he pays them.”

I guess Heidi still gets work showing up to stuff and looking wasted. The last time we saw her she was looking strung out and bloated, while she was thin from admittedly starving herself just three months ago. This is what happens when these flash in the pan celebrities don’t save for a rainy day. These two are the most egregious examples, but I see Kate Gosselin, Snooki, The Jersey Shore drunks and hopefully the entire Kardashian clan following soon. They win the one shot fame lottery for do-nothings and then they make the mistake of thinking they’re famous and that the money will keep flowing in.

This was the actual cover to their book, out in 2009. Here’s a mock-worthy passage I got from the preview on Amazon: “Whether you love us, hate us, or love to hate us, there IS a recipe for infiltrating Hollywood, and we’ve got it. Sure, it’s not rocket science, but it IS a science.” Too bad the “science” wasn’t sustainable, they never paid their bills and couldn’t do basic math.

Photo credit: Fame

I haven’t written about Heidi Montag in a while, for good reason. One, who cares? Two, many media outlets stopped reporting on Heidi and Spencer, so there wasn’t that much “news” about them. Three, Heidi actually seemed to take her famewhoring down a notch. These are the first new photos we’ve had of her in a while (months). Heidi was photographed in Las Vegas, celebrating her 25th birthday at a club called Vanity. Yes, this is the face of a 25-year-old. Can you believe it? Heidi looks like hell. If you told me she was seriously sick, I would believe you.

Heidi is still with Spencer, by the way. He was helping her celebrate her birthday, and you can see photos of him at the Mail – he’s looking pretty rough too. My guess, for him, is drugs. Something really hard too, like meth. As for Heidi… I think it’s a combination of things. One, she’s gained some weight, which isn’t a big deal or anything, but the weight gain with all of the plastic surgery… it’s made her look stretched and puffy. Plus, she’s probably on drugs too. Her eyes look really glassy. The Mail says that she was drinking heavily too.

As for how Heidi and Spencer have been spending their time… last I heard, they were still “broke”. I think they’re still living in LA, somewhere, perhaps at the beach. Oh, and they were charging people $20 to $40 a ticket to party with Heidi for her birthday. Sad.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

The Daily Beast has a new interview with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, the former stars of MTV reality shows Laguna Beach and The Hills. These two faked a wedding in 2008 and when their show was canceled last year they faked a breakup and then tried to sell a fake adultery story to the tabloids. Spencer half-faked a breakdown, they tried to sell or fake a sex tape (that gratefully never materialized) and then when all else failed they admitted they were totally broke and had wasted at least $10 million dollars. Oh and last year Heidi had ten plastic surgeries in one day and then after her surgeon died in a car accident she immediately went to the press crying about her “plastic surgery disasters.” (Whereas before her surgeon’s death she was on the news with him singing his praises.) She also tried to launch a music career that tanked.

In this latest interview, the gruesome twosome admit that their breakup was fake and that they never spent a day apart despite all those tabloids and staged photos. They’re now broke, living for free in one of their parents’ houses and they wish they’d saved their money instead of squandering it. Heidi explains that she saw buying all those luxury goods as an investment, like Kim Kardashian or something.

Here are some quotes from the article on Daily Beast, which is well worth reading in its entirety:

They never broke up
Did you ever break up? Spencer: “No.” Heidi: “No.” Spencer: “Not for one minute.” Heidi: “We’ve never even been apart.” Which raises a larger point: Everything in this article that could be fact-checked through multiple independent sources, has been.

On how they blew all their millions
What the hell happened? What were they thinking? And where did all the money go?

“We never had any!” said Spencer in response to the money question. Meaning, it went out as quickly as it came in. Spencer estimated they spent $2 million on Heidi’s ill-fated pop-music career, hiring writers, producers, and engineers who worked with Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, and Lady Gaga. There were lots of clothes, too. “I probably spent a million dollars on suits and fancy clothes,” Spencer said. “My whole million-dollar wardrobe—I would never wear that again. They’re props. Everything we were doing, we were buying props. I bought a big blue monster truck just to drive it on The Hills for an episode. Never drove it again.”

Spencer—who previously appeared on 2005’s short-lived reality series The Princes of Malibu—grew up with privilege and private schools in Los Angeles; Heidi was raised in tiny Crested Butte, Colo., with little money and lots of megachurches. “I should have known growing up and not having any money ever that I should have kept every dollar that I had,” Heidi said. “I thought I was investing in myself and my brand. Like Kim.” As in Kardashian, who came up often during the interview. Heidi continued: “When she buys these clothes, she’s investing in herself. Because she is a big brand and is likeable. I thought I had that potential. My ego got too big. To think I could be someone like that when I was the most hated girl ever.”

Why Spencer flipped out on the set of The Hills: they wanted him to punch his sister
MTV announced in March 2010 that the sixth season of The Hills would be its last. But it was already over for Spencer. He had gotten into a huge fight with a producer named Sara Mast, whom he said tried to get him to cause his fellow castmember and sister, Stephanie, who has had on-again, off-again alcohol and drug problems, to “hit rock bottom.” In his version, Mast tried to get him to punch Stephanie. “Her exact quote: ‘That Snooki effect,’” Spencer said, referring to a Jersey Shore episode in which castmember Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was hit by a fellow bar patron.

“That’s when I snapped,” Spencer said. “To the point when I said—and this is when the producers got scared of me—‘You want me to punch my sister in the face? Are you trying to get me to kill you?’ I didn’t say, ‘I’m killing you.’ If I did, MTV would have had me arrested.”

A source close to production who requested anonymity, and is no friend of Spencer’s, confirmed his version of what caused the fight, but also added that Spencer was, in fact, quite scary about it. Through her agent, Sara Mast declined to comment for this story. Creator DiVello’s PR representative was told specifically about this claim and did not respond. MTV would not comment either.

On how they mismanaged their careers
“We were living each other’s mistakes—everything we were doing, in retrospect, was a mistake. The second we continued on our quest for fame was a mistake.” Spencer said. “This isn’t a business. That was the big thing I didn’t get: Reality TV is not a career. Anyone who says, ‘Oh, you can have a career in reality’—that is a lie.”

Paris Hilton’s recent bomb of a reality series, The World According to Paris, proves this theory, according to them.

Heidi said, “We thought it’d be huge!”

Spencer said: “Paris Hilton created fame for nothing. The fact that only 400,000 people tuned into her premiere? We’re Paris Hilton fans.” He continued: “She didn’t make all these surgery mistakes, or crystal mistakes. She didn’t do any of that. But here she is. Her career stopped.”

As have theirs, for the most part. Heidi, who was in her late teens when she was cast on The Hills and will turn 25 in September, has been appearing on VH1’s Famous Food, a reality competition in which celebrities compete to become a partner in a restaurant. When those sorts of opportunities come around, she said, “I’m there.” She also still gets invited to host Las Vegas parties sometimes. “I have the most fun ever.”

[From The Daily Beast]

It’s not true that there was “never any” money for these two. They wasted more money in a year than the budget for an entire municipality. Heidi had at least 4 Hermes Birkin bags, which retail for around $15k each. She wore $1,000 shoes regularly, and Spencer admitted wasting 1/2 a million dollars on crystals. These people had a security detail consisting of ex Marines. Heidi used to go to work with four bodyguards. So it’s an “I told you so” moment to hear that they’re living at one of their parent’s houses and probably deep in debt now that their fame has inevitably dried up. If only we could hear similar stories about The Jersey Shore kids and The Kardashians. After we get a well deserved break from constant news about them.

Heidi and Spencer are shown on 2/13/10. Credit: WENN.com Spencer is shown out alone on 4/7/11. Credit: Fame. Heidi is shown on 6/19/11. Credit: Wire image

While most of struggle to find the time for an hour fitness class, former reality star and plastic surgery poster girl Heidi Montag claims she’s been spending 14 hours a day working out. It’s not like she has anything else to do. Heidi explained to US Weekly that she’s been frantically exercising to drop the weight she gained while convalescing post surgery. She was preparing for her gig hosting a party at Wet Republic in Vegas this Saturday. Heidi was probably hoping to be the only hostess, but she was joined by Hugh Hefner’s would-be bride, Crystal Harris, for a double (quadruple) helping of silicone, collagen, fake tan and bleach. If Crystal’s wedding would have gone through as planned she would have been there instead of in Vegas getting paid to party. Poor Heidi had to share the spotlight. Here’s what she said about her fitness regime, which sounds ridiculous:

Before she slipped back into a bikini for Saturday’s party at Las Vegas’ Wet Republic — the last time she was photographed in a two-piece was April 2010 — Heidi Montag spent some serious time in the gym.

“I’ve been working out from, like, 5 a.m. to 7 p.m. for two months now. I’ve been working out really hard because I had this pool party and I was like, I have to be in shape,” she told Us Weekly. “And I was actually a lot overweight. It was the most I’ve ever been because I’ve kind of been in hiding eating pie with my husband and puppies, so I needed to get back in shape.”

At her heaviest, the 5’2″ reality star claimed she weighed 130 pounds; she’s currently back down to 103. How did the Hills alum lose 27 pounds so quickly?

“I’ve been running a lot, and I’ve been doing weights,” she said. “When you work out, you boost your metabolism, so you have to [make sure you eat enough].”

Montag — who listed pie and fried chicken as her weaknesses — said she’s been noshing on apples, cherries and salads to slim down. After famously undergoing 10 cosmetic surgeries in late 2009, Montag added that decided to take a year off from the gym.

“My breasts, because they’re so big, really needed some time,” she explained. “So I’m just starting to work out again after my surgery. Sometimes I get shooting pains, but I hear that’s normal.”

[From Us Weekly]

It’s as normal to have shooting pains in your boobs as it is to get silicone F size breasts and to have your back “scooped out”. Heidi basically has an eating disorder if she’s working out more than half the entire day and eating just some fruits and vegetables. All that obsessive work and she still got overshadowed at her bikini unveiling by Hugh Hefner’s runaway bride. At least she got a paycheck though. The last we heard of her she was flat broke, and I write that with no sense of irony.

Photo credit: Denise Truscello/Wire Image

As slurry as Jennifer Aniston may come across in interviews, she can be cunning like a fox. Plastic surgery victim Heidi Montag whined to US Weekly that she was banned from the premiere of Just Go With It, in which she has some kind of cameo featuring her tits and ass, due to the 41 year-old divorcee’s influence. From what Heidi said, Aniston pulled rank and made sure that Montag wasn’t able to walk the red carpet. Given the way that Heidi and Spencer work the media I wouldn’t be surprised if Heidi made this whole thing up for publicity after realizing she’d gained five pounds and could no longer fit into the skintight dress she picked out for the premiere. Aniston’s publicist suggested as much.

Although Heidi Montag had a cameo in the star’s comedy, Just Go With It, she claims she wasn’t allowed to walk the carpet at the flick’s NYC premiere Tuesday.

“I’m so upset,” the former reality star, 24, tells the new issue of Us Weekly (on stands now). “I was so excited! This is the first movie I’ve ever been in and I can’t walk the red carpet because Jennifer Aniston decided I was ‘too polarizing.’”

Montag, who renewed her vows with husband Spencer Pratt, 27, in November after their very public split adds that she had already designed her own dress for the event and made a deal with producers not to go to any events beforehand.

“I’ve been such a huge Jennifer Aniston fan my entire life and it’s just really upsetting that she would do this to me,” says Montag. “She should know how hard it is to make a career for yourself and to have someone like Jennifer Aniston go out of her way to make things hard for me is really disheartening.”

However a rep for Aniston, 41, claims she has no issues with the reality star. “This is absolutely false. Jennifer has nothing to do with who was or was not invited,” her rep tells Us

[From US Weekly]

If this is true, points to Aniston! Heidi said Aniston’s full name too many times though, it’s like a tell that she’s making this up. “Jennifer Aniston said I was polarizing… I’m a Jennifer Aniston fan… Jennifer Aniston went out of her way for me,” etc. She’s really saying “If I say her name enough times like Candyman I’ll magically appear in a story alongside her.” “Vowla” (as Heidi spells it) her wish came true! Let me try the magic formula – “Jennifer Aniston told Kaiser she’s not an alcoholic… Jennifer Aniston said she’s telling the truth about wanting babies sometime far off in the future… Jennifer Aniston said she still talks to Brad.” Now all I have to do is wait. It worked for Perez Hilton!

Aniston was on Good Morning America today and you can watch her interview below. She said it was really fun working with Adam Sandler and that they were dying laughing when they saw the final movie at the premiere. The clip they showed wasn’t that funny though. She also said she’s looking for a place to live in New York City.

Candids of Aniston are from today and were taken outside the GMA studios. Credit: Fame. Other photos credit: WENN.com

Radar Online has a new article with a confirmation from Spencer Pratt that he and his plastic on-again wife, Heidi Montag, are working to get on the cast of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I think I speak for almost all of the fans of this show when I say “hell to the no.” The Real Housewives franchise uses little known rich and pseudo rich people to create drama, they don’t take on seasoned reality celebrities. It’s not “I’m a Celebrity, put me in the woods/jungle/rainforest,” and we’re not interested in seeing any more of this fake couple. I hope Spencer just ruined his chances by blabbing about it. Here’s more from Radar:

Heidi Montag is actively pursuing joining the cast of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

Her husband Spencer Pratt wants to come along too and he confirmed the news to RadarOnline.com that his “people” are going to be talking to the RHOB honchos on Tuesday.

“We would move to Beverly Hills in a heartbeat. We would be psyched if this happened for us,” Spencer told RadarOnline.com.

The show has been a ratings hit and Camille Grammer has not publicly said if she will return for Season Two.

Adding former MTV The Hills stars Heidi and Spencer to the show is sure to increase the drama and would be a publicity coup for Bravo.

Heidi is a regular on weekly magazine covers because of her drawing power and is not stranger to controversy after revealing she had 10 plastic surgery procedure in one day.

And as far as Spencer is concerned, we’re sure he’ll figure out a way to grab attention, too!

[From Radar]

I think Radar meant to write “Heidi used to be a regular on magazine covers.” No one gives a sh*t about her anymore, whether she’s blaming her dead plastic surgeon for doing all the work she requested and got so much publicity for, or staging a fake divorce from Spencer. We want someone new and less known on RHOBH, like Brandi Cibrian. Heidi and Spencer will mess everything up and stage a bunch of obvious fights. At least with the current cast we get the impression that the cattiness is real, even if the producers drag it out and convince the ladies that holding grudges is good for ratings.

Heidi Montag is shown on 10/30/10. SPencer Pratt is shown on 7/25/10 and 2/19/10. Credit: WENN.com and Fame

Pity poor Heidi Montag. Someone held a gun to her head and forced her to have twenty million elective operations on her body in an effort to turn her into a more plastic version of a Barbie doll. And now that she has “scars” she regrets the whole thing! SOB. Heidi gave an “exclusive” interview to Life & Style Magazine for their cover story this week – and she even did a photo shoot with the magazine, showing off some of her plastic surgery scars. Heidi claims that she has terrible scarring from her watermelon-sized breast implants (shock!), her brow lift (gasp!), and her ass/back-scooping crap (gross). And there’s more!

Heidi sits down with Life & Style for an exclusive interview and photo shoot to share the unglamorous aftereffects of her plastic surgery, one year later.

Heidi Montag was seeking perfection when she famously underwent 10 plastic surgery procedures in November 2009. Now a year later, Heidi reveals her operation-room battle wounds for the first time to Life & Style.

“Parts of my body definitely look worse than they did presurgery,” she told Life & Style exclusively at a photo shoot on Dec. 2. “This is not what I signed up for.”

The former Hills star reveals a series of unsightly scars, red inflammation and uneven body parts including: a 2-inch-long raised blemish under her chin from her chin reduction, two caterpillar-size bald spots along her hairline from a brow lift, a horrifying jagged line behind her ears from having her ears pinned back, lumpy legs and four spots left on her lower back and below the buttocks from botched liposuction, a bright-red mark inside her right nostril, uneven boobs, a stretched mark on her chest and deep scars around her nipples from a second boob job.

“The big dark mark from my chin reduction is probably the most noticeable. But the absolute worst is on my breasts, and the scariest is below my butt cheek,” Heidi tells Life & Style. “People have fewer scars from car accidents than I have on my body.”

Heidi says the scars are constant reminders that she made a big mistake.

“I would love to not be ‘plastic girl’ or whatever they call me. Surgery ruined my career and my personal life and just brought a lot of negativity into my world. I wish I could jump into a time machine and take it all back. Instead, I’m always going to feel like Edward Scissorhands.”

[From Life & Style]

Do you feel for Heidi? I don’t. I don’t even think Heidi has a “disease” – like body dysmorphic disorder. I think she’s just a famewhore who got a lot of dumb, unnecessary surgeries in an attempt to get attention and now she’s milking the after-effects for more sympathy and pity (attention!).

Cover and additional photo courtesy of Life & Style.