When you put Viggo Mortensen and Michael Fassbender together, standing side-by-side, people are going to pay attention. For some reason, we feel like we have to choose. Like we can’t take one of each from the dong buffet, like it’s a dongy cage-match, Viggo versus Fassy. Over the past months, as Viggo and Michael promoted A Dangerous Method, I’ve set up various “cage matches” to see who you, gentle reader, would choose. Shall we do it again?

These are photos of Viggo and Michael from last night’s gala premiere of A Dangerous Method in London. I went a little bit overboard with the photo gallery because… you know… I can’t resist new Fassy photos. Go ahead and scream about my bias – Fassy looks better in these pics. I’m not sure what Viggo is trying to accomplish in that cream suit. Not just a cream suit – I think it’s corduroy? And he paired it with a black shirt and tie? Odd. I do like the way Viggo looks here, though – his face looks good, and it doesn’t seem like he’s wearing too much foundation. It’s just that Fassy always looks sexier to me at the end of the day. Sigh…

Shall I say some bad things about Fassy just so I don’t die of Fass-lust? Here goes… I don’t like his hair this short. It ages him. And I don’t think he should wear jeans (much less SKINNY JEANS) for his premiere. Say what you will about Viggo’s fug suit, but at least he wore a suit.

We should have a man thrown-down over their profiles. I love Fassy’s profile. I’m a whore for a good profile.

Really, though. Who would you rather?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

I’m running on fumes at this point, but I wanted to do a post for the men of the Golden Globes, because there were some fine specimens of dong-dom on display. One of the rare surprises and highlights of the evening – for me – was Idris Elba’s win as Best Actor for Luther. When he got up to give his speech, you could just feel it in the room – every woman was like, “HOT DAMN, Idris is speakin’.” He was gracious and cool and off-the-cuff, and obviously, he’s even hotter when you hear him speak. For now, just enjoy the photos.

Unfortunately, we don’t have access to any photos of Michael Fassbender. Twenty-million photos of Paula Patton and Nicole Richie (ugh), but Fassy was largely ignored on the red carpet, and the only time the camera panned to him was during the Best Actor thing. But I loved that George gave the Fassdong a shout-out. Love the finger bite too. Jesus, imagine that finger… nevermind. That was way too dirty.

How cute is Ewan McGregor? He got a lovely shout-out from his on-screen dad, Christopher Plummer too.

Jean Dujardin is really sexy, I think. I like his accent, and I love his face. He’s a sweetheart.

I get hot for Peter Dinklage. There, I said it.

Channing Tatum: Beefcake. He managed to perform his presenting duties better than Mark Wahlberg.

In lieu of my favorite ginger (Fassy), I’ll always take Damien Lewis. I love him, and he’s an amazing actor. I’m thrilled that Homeland won! It’s such a good show, and Damien acted his ass off in it.

UGGIE!!!!! Cutest thing on the carpet.

Mark Darcy. I mean Colin Firth. DING-DONG!!! He looks fab.

Gerard Butler really is trying to win me back, you know. Just think about this… Fassbender, Gerard Butler and Idris Elba, all in the same place at the same time. Nice, right?

A little Brad Pitt, because I know the ladies love some Pitt. Why are his lips always chapped these days?

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame.

I’m not saying there is a dearth of good, sexy men in Hollywood. I’m just saying that not many of those good guys showed up for last night’s People’s Choice Awards. Of course, there were some nice surprises. Like… Matt Bomer and Tim DeKay, both of whom are two of my favorite people on television. Matt Bomer keeps getting so much attention and acclaim, all of it well-deserved. He’s beautiful, he’s talented, he’s funny, and he seems like a really nice, humble guy. But I wish Tim DeKay would get noticed more – he’s sexy in the way Harrison Ford used to be sexy. He seems like a normal, attractive, casually-sexy dude that you would run into at the hardware shop. I’m just saying… I would rather go to bed with Tim. And I would rather just stare at Matt Bomer forever and ever.

Since I didn’t watch but a few minutes of the awards show, I have no idea why Ewan McGregor was there. For why? Not that I’m complaining. He’s always so lovely to look at.

Here’s Zachary Levi. With a fauxhawk. I don’t get it. But I never did. For those of you who get hot for Levi, you know that Michael Fassbender exists, right? The Fassdong is not a myth! It is a reality. Stop liking dumb dudes with dumb hairstyles.

Here’s Ian Somerhalder. He’s always been much, much too pretty for my tastes. His pretty overwhelms me and ultimately leaves me cold.

Neil Patrick Harris is so adorable, and obviously, he’s a vampire. He’s 38 years old and he looks 25. I purposefully didn’t choose a photo of NPH with his partner David, because I think David has a bitchy face, and he ruins Neil for me a little bit.

David Boreanaz… how quickly you lost the hot once I found out you were a skeevy cheater who used to bone Rachel Uchitel. That can never be unseen.

Nathan Fillion is super-cute, but does anyone else think that Castle has just gotten awful this season? I haven’t even been watching it lately. I’ll come back if the writing gets better, just because I love Nathan (and Seamus Dever!).

Liam Neeson was at the People’s Choice Awards, but he didn’t pose on the red carpet, so we don’t have any pics of him from the event. Fortunately, he also went to the premiere of The Grey last night, so here’s a nice photo. He’s so… swoon-worthy. I love him.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN.

The Insider and Entertainment Tonight have a series of segments which are basically paid advertisements for the California Tourism board, but that’s ok because they’re kind of brilliant. Here’s one of their latest (above) featuring the preternaturally young looking Rob Lowe. Lowe explains about how awesome California is for outdoor enthusiasts with activities like skiing, surfing and bicycle riding. Judging from how hot he is it also seems to do wonders for one’s complexion. Unlike a lot of other wealthy famous Californians who attempt to achieve youth through chemistry, Lowe genuinely looks about 15 years younger than his age (47). In a recent interview with In Touch, Lowe said that he’s not about to get any plastic surgery either. I thought that was a Californian’s birth right. That and medicinal pot.

With his sparkling blue eyes and boyish charm, Hollywood veteran Rob Lowe is still a heartthrob. But as he nears 50, the father of two doesn’t fear losing the looks that helped make him a household name three decades ago. “I’m not worried about chronological years,” Rob, the director of the web video Butterfinger the 13th, available on Facebook, tells In Touch in an exclusive interview, adding that he has never even considered plastic surgery or Botox. “I don’t think guys should be monkeying around with that stuff.”

So without a quick fix, how does the actor plan on staying so hot? Rob credits his sons, Edward, 18, and John, 16, with keeping him fit. “I’m outside surfing, diving, you name it,” he says. “I’m very cool with my teenagers.”

[From In Touch]

If that’s the result of living in that climate sign me up. At least get me there on vacation if there are more guys like Lowe around. I’m more of a city girl and am not the outdoorsy type, but given how hot those type of guys are I should at least go buy a pair of hiking boots. I’ll ride my bike and try to surf. There’s no way in hell you’re ever going to get me to go white water rafting or mountain climbing though. I have to draw the line somewhere.

These are just gratuitous shirtless photos of Rob Lowe, plus some event photos where he’s looking dapper. The photo of him in the casual-type suit is from 10-12-11, but it looks like it could have been taken in the 80s! He’s also shown in a tux on 5-16-11 with his wife. Credit: Fame

Alright, here is the post devoted to the hot men of the Margin Call premiere, as I just promised in the Demi Moore post. Aside from Demi, the premiere was pretty much a sausage party, which is appropriate I guess because Wall Street is pretty much a sausage party as well. Unfortunately, Wall Street dudes don’t look like Paul Bettany. GAH! I love him so much. I love that his hair has grown out. I love his bright eyes. I love his glasses. I don’t love his ascot. But Paul pulls it off, and even manages to look dashing. I wish Jennifer Connelly had come to the premiere with him for a little date night, but I’ll take my Bettany solo too.

Next up: Simon Baker’s fine ass. Oooooh, nice. I love his glasses too!

Am I alone in thinking that Stanley Tucci is a sexy bitch? Whatever, he is. MORE EYEGLASS PORN!

Penn Badgley is the opposite of sexy (to me). I don’t care for his white man’s afro either. Tamp it down or put some product on it or something. He looks like a Chia Pet. And this is what Zoe Kravitz chose over the Fassdong. SMH.

Zachary Quinto, fresh from his coming out party. Fortunately, I find him even more attractive now that I know he’s gay. Unfortunately, I’m being thwarted by this blind item which everyone is now claiming is definitely Quinto.

And last bu not least, Kevin Spacey! White jeans! Eyeglass porn! His face looks good (he’s lost some weight), but the outfit sucks.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Whenever we run photos of Alex Skarsgard, there are always a few of you who say he doesn’t do it for you. That’s fine, you know, it takes all kinds and that just means there’s more to go around for the rest of us. I personally don’t get the Fassbender love that Kaiser and Bedhead have. I mean I wouldn’t kick him out of bed or anything but he’s not my type. That’s part of the reason I’m surprised that Kaiser has so much love for Alex Skarsgard. He’s not her type, I wouldn’t think, in that he’s so angelically lovely. (She likes ‘em a little rough around the edges.) The guy is perfection on a tall perfectly toned… stick.

So here we have Alex for German GQ Style’s Fall/Winter issue and in September’s InStyle adding so much joy and meaning to hump day. He does look like a typically gorgeous male model, but to me he’s also a man of substance. Yes I’m overstating my case, but he just seems so nice, normal and humble in interviews. He does have poor taste in women, so we know he’s not perfect.

Skars is blowing up the newsstand this coming month. He’s also on the covers of Wonderland (along with Kiki Dunst) and Blackbook (along with his ex and upcoming co-star, Kate Bosworth.) I doubt that his parts in Straw Dogs or that Battleship movie are going to be breakout roles for him, but it’s still nice to see him get so much exposure. He’s a talented actor and oh-so-easy on the eyes.

[some photos via ONTD]

Yesterday, there was a luncheon for the Hollywood Foreign Press, which is the organization that puts on the annual Golden Globes Awards show. The luncheon usually gets some good people too – celebrities who want to kiss ass amongst the foreign press, promote their work, glad-hand, swing their dick around. So, there were lots of dudes there, which I’ll get to in a second. Lea Michele was one of the few ladies there – others included newcomers Jessica Chastain and Elisabeth Olsen, but I’m not even going to do their fashion. So let’s start Lea, in this fluttery little Valentino. I actually love this on Lea. It’s age-appropriate, occasion appropriate, and very flattering. Lea gets an A-plus.

Next up: my lover Gerard Butler, looking thin and tired. I will say it again: I miss the moobs. I miss when Gerry was carrying a little extra weight. There was more of him to love! And now that he’s lost all of that weight, he just looks tired and drawn all of the time. He’s still deliciously dirty, though. I bet he hit on Lea.

Here’s Gabriel Macht. You might know him from that USA show, Suits. His hair should be lighter, I hate to say.

Hugh Dancy. Too pretty. Prettier than Lea.

Jim Sturgess. PILLOW WEEPER! Also – look at his itty-bitty bangs trauma! That’s so gross.

THE BACON. He has fabulous hair.

Mark Wahlberg needs to shave.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

You know it’s going to be a good week when we’re treated on a Monday to so many photos of Hugh Jackman lounging shirtless, frolicking shirtless in the water, and attempting to apply sunscreen to his shirtless buff body. Hugh Jackman knows what we need to jump start our week and he’s delivering it for us with a smile and a wink. Hugh was in St. Tropez with his lucky wife and two kids, soaking up the sun and posing for these glorious sun-soaked photos.

A week ago Jackman hit up ComicCon to promote Real Steel, a film that’s drawing comparisons to the Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots game. No sh*t, this is the first I’ve heard of it too. The movie is based on a short story from 1956 about a boxer who joins the dangerous fast-paced world of fighting robotos (chuckle) and it’s supposedly not a Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots movie per se. It also stars Anthony Mackie and Evangeline Lilly. Real Steel is out in the US on October 7 and you can watch the trailer here. It looks totally ridiculous, and is directed by Shawn Levy. (Night at the Museum, Date Night.)

Jackman also confirmed at ComicCon that a script for Wolverine 2 is complete and that he’ll start filming in October. Last year he said he was in training for it by eating right and exercising hard, and it’s clearly paid off. The guy has maintained his incredible physique for years now. Or maybe, if he ever lets himself go a tiny bit, he waits until he’s in top shape again before taking off his shirt.

Photo credit: Fame Pictures

Hot Guy Comic-Con! Wouldn’t it be funny if I just found lots of photos of all of the fan/nerd-attendees dressed as Hobbits and such, and just put those photos up? Ha! You’re in luck, though, because it seems like there was some pretty good dongage (we must make that a word) in San Diego over the past few days. Let’s start with Daniel Craig at last night’s Comic-Con premiere of Cowboys & Aliens, wearing a good suit, no tie and a pocket-kerchief. He looks damn good to me. He also looks… different. More content, I think. Maybe it’s his marriage to Rachel Weisz, but Daniel seems more accessible, and like he’s enjoying himself more.

Here’s Henry Cavill, who we always get HGF requests for. It’s not that I don’t acknowledge that he’s good looking – he is. He’s just sort of bland, in my opinion. Vanilla.

Sam Rockwell at the C&A premiere last night – I would hit it. And then some. I would marry it and its babies. I love Sam Rockwell so much.

Justin Chatwin. We’ve gotten requests for him before, I think. He’s totally cute. Boyish, not my type, but adorable.

For Bedhead: Walter Goggins at the Cowboys & Aliens premiere. You might also know him from Justified, but he looks totally at home at a nerd-fest. GET IT, BEDHEAD!

Harrison Ford at the C&A premiere – and no, he didn’t take off those stupid sunglasses at all. Every. Damn. Photo. Calista looks cute in her little dress, though.

Here’s Ian Somerhalder, blowing you a kiss while wearing a dumb hat. He’s very pretty, though. Wouldn’t you be worried that he was prettier than you?

Stephen Moyer, with a hint of Skarsgard. I’ve always found Moyer’s personality sexier than Alex’s.

And last but not least, COLIN FARRELL. This Irish boy… I know he would get me pregnant and dump me, but… I would totally be into it.

UPDATE: Thanks to Stacie for pointing out my omission of Jason Momoa. How could I forget him?!?

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Here are some brand new photos of Jason Momoa in Madrid, Spain, during a photo call for the reboot of Conan the Barbarian. Sigh… I really need to see Game of Thrones, right? Either that, or I just need to acknowledge that Lisa Bonet just has THE BEST taste in men. I remember seeing photos of Jason from a few years ago, and back then, he seemed kind of beefier, right? Did he just recently stop with the weight training and started on yoga or something? Or does this tight black shirt not do his body justice?

As for the Conan reboot, I don’t even know what to say. One of my dude friends made me sit down and watch the original Arnold one several years ago, and I still don’t know what the big deal is. It’s a pretty dumb story, and it seems like only men really “get” it. This new one seems to actually have some kind of basic plot, and they’ve added a lot more blood and gore. Here’s the Red Band trailer… it looks… er… bloody. This is NSFW too, because of the gore and some nudity.

So… will women see this just because of Jason Momoa (and his constant shirtlessness)? Maybe.

Photos courtesy of WENN.