Here are some new photos of Kim Kardashian and her mother, Lucifer’s Homegirl, out and about in LA yesterday. Kim doesn’t look too bad here – her clothes are still too tight, but I don’t feel like her unborn child is being smothered by ten layers of maternity Spanx at least. There is one really unfortunate thing though:

OMG. OH. MY. GAWD. Why would you do this to yourself? If your ankles and feet are that swollen and you don’t need to wear heels, for the love of God, just wear flip-flops. Why bother with any of this? Just wear sweatpants and flip-flops and keep your feet up. Enough.

As for this other stuff… well, I’ll get to it, but have I ever told you that my mom has very strong feelings about the Kardashians? My mom has a theory that Kim is just going to give birth, profit from the baby and just leave the baby to be raised by Kris Jenner and Auntie Khloe & Kourtney (and probably a lot of nannies). My mom said, “Say what you will about Kourtney, but she raises her children.” And you wonder how I got to be such a judgy bitch. Anyway, in that same vein, Kim is super-pissed that Kanye is planning to go on tour two seconds after the baby is born:

Kim Kardashian is furious that her baby daddy boyfriend, Kanye West, is planning to go on an international tour to promote his upcoming album after the reality star gives birth, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

Kanye’s soon-to-be-released yet untitled record, which is expected to drop on June 18, will be “launching a worldwide tour later this fall, early next year. Kim is giving birth in July, and the baby will only be a few months old when Kanye goes out on the road,” a source close to the family exclusively told Radar.

“Needless to say, Kim is very unhappy that Kanye won’t be around as much because of his work. Even if she flew on a private jet with the baby to see Kanye, it would be impossible for mother and baby to be on the road with him. Kim wants to breast feed for at least the first six months. The baby needs to be on a schedule, and that is hard when crossing time lines.”

Complicating matters, Kim will be required to be in Los Angeles this winter to shoot Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

“Kim just feels like she can’t win. She feels that both of their work schedules are going to prevent them from spending quality time together after the baby is born,” the insider revealed.

[From Radar]

Kim is planning to breastfeed for six months? I’ll believe it when I see it (and we probably will see it on a “Very Special Episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians: The Lactation.”) But yeah, if Kanye is going on tour my guess is that Kim will be following him and she’ll leave the baby with her mother. And thus Kris Jenner got another generation of children to pimp.

Meanwhile, this happened (NSFW language, beware):

Kanye performed at the Roseland Ballroom in NYC and he rapped about how he wasn’t a celebrity and it’s all pretty much how you think Kanye really does think about himself. You can read the full transcript here at Complex.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

CB and I couldn’t stop laughing about this In Touch Weekly cover yesterday. It might be In Touch’s greatest cover ever, although I think the bold, all-caps headline would be even more amazing if it read “BITCH, HE GAY”. For the record, I’ve never been on the conspiracy train for Kanye’s alleged homosexuality. I think Kanye is mostly heterosexual, and it even pisses me off a little that a brother can’t be into fashion, jewelry and fur without a bunch of haters thinking he’s gay. But the “Kanye Is Gay” rumors are definitely out there, and if you believe them, God bless. You should enjoy this story, which includes these little nuggets of HE GAY:

*Kanye is sort of/kind of shacking up with Givenchy designer Riccardo Tisci, according to In Touch. That’s what “online commenters” are claiming and In Touch is just repeating it!

*The “online commenters” (probably you bitches) speculated that Kanye is “in a romantic relationship with the man who designed her controversial Met Gala dress, Givenchy creative director Riccardo Tisci.” So Kim promptly “freaked out”.

*Kanye actually lives “down the street” from Riccardo in Paris, but Riccardo and Kanye “spend countless hours” together in Kanye’s Paris apartment.

*An insider claims: “Kanye is obsessed with Riccardo. They have a very deep bond.”

*Riccardo, like any true drama queen, designed a hideous dress for Kim because he wanted to make her look bad on purpose. Because he “resents her and really did want to make her look hideous.”

*Kanye doesn’t want to spend any time with Kim because he’s kind of in love with Riccardo and Kanye would prefer to spend all of his time with Riccardo.

*A friend claims: “If it turns out Kanye is involved with Riccardo, Kim will be utterly embarrassed — more so than she’s ever been in her life.” O RLY?

*Riccardo “recently purchased an apartment less than half a mile from Kanye’s in NYC’s Soho neighborhood.” Side-eye on that one.

*Kim has always “secretly” questioned Kanye’s sexuality. Sure.

[Sourced from Gossip Cop & Hollywood Life]

First of all, go back and read what Riccardo said about Kim post-Met Gala – he loves her. He adores her. He was really proud of the dress he created for her and he refers to Kim as “the future wife of a really good friend of mine.” He seems like a really sweet guy. I’m not saying that Riccardo and Kanye are or are not hitting it, I’m just saying that I don’t buy that Riccardo had a moment of stone-cold bitchery and made Kim look like a couch just because he resents her.

Anyway, I’m actually interested in seeing if Kanye sues In Touch over this cover and cover story. Has Kanye ever sued anybody? Usually he just takes bad press in sullen silence. Maybe not this time!

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, cover courtesy of ITW.

I don’t really know what’s going on with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West at this point. I’ve sort of given up on trying to explain it or theorize about it. Everybody has their theory and most of the theories are pretty insulting to Kim – maybe she deserves some scorn, but for whatever reason, I’ve become sort of sympathetic towards her. But I can’t defend this Radar story from a few days ago, because I think it’s a plant by Team Kardashian in a naked attempt to throw Kanye under the bus:

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West expect their first child soon, but there could be big trouble ahead as the reality beauty’s family doesn’t approve of how the singer treats her, a source close to the Kardashian clan told RadarOnline.com.

“The Kardashian family members, particularly Kim’s mom Kris Jenner, are growing increasingly concerned about how Kanye treats Kim,” the insider said. “Kris is also concerned about how Kanye acts around the paparazzi. The Kardashians have made their names off the back off being photographed, but Kanye has a real aversion to it.”

“The incident in Beverly Hills last Friday when he walked into the street sign was just the latest in a string of issues that have concerned Kris. When they were in Paris, Kanye kept telling the paparazzi to leave him and Kim alone. But as a manager, Kris wants Kim and Kayne to be photographed; it’s their gig.”

The close-knit Kardashian clan was also appalled when they saw how Kanye didn’t open a door for Kim during a recent shopping trip in Paris. Instead, Kanye waited for the massively pregnant reality star to open the door herself!

“Like everyone else, Kim’s sisters and mom saw the video of Kanye and Kim in Paris. They were more than a little shocked, to say the least!” the source said. “Kris told a friend she couldn’t believe that Kanye didn’t think it was the right thing for him to do to open the door for a six-month pregnant woman. But Kris has long lamented that it’s always been all about Kanye — and not Kim.”

Also, the source added, Kanye has been shunning Kim’s family! Said the source, “He’s ambivalent about spending time with Kim and the family unit. As everyone knows, the Kardashians are a tight-knit group so it has comes as a shock to everyone that Kanye just doesn’t want to spend time with them. When he does, it’s like he’s got eyes on the exit door to make a quick getaway.”

If Kim is disappointed about Kanye’s odd behavior, she’s not showing it, according to the source. “Kim expects to be treated like a princess. She always has been in the past. But with Kanye, she’s not. She can’t see it, however, because she’s besotted. She refuses to soak up just how self-absorbed he is, despite everyone telling her just how it is.”

[From Radar]

“She refuses to soak up just how self-absorbed he is…” Yeah. I can actually see that, but it’s not because Kim is love-blind. She can’t see how self-absorbed he is because SHE is so self-absorbed. They’re two famewhore narcissists and that’s why they’re kind of perfect for each other. One is a famewhore narcissist and a somewhat brilliant artist, the other is a famewhore narcissist with no real talent other than talking in a sexy baby voice and being Botoxy.

Meanwhile, Radar has another story in which a unnamed “friend of the Kardashian family” claims that Kim and Kanye will probably split up before the baby is born:

“We just do not understand why she is traveling to Paris to see him. She is the pregnant one. Kanye will fly in to see the editors of Vogue, but he won’t fly in to see the lady carrying his child,” a close friend of the Kardashian family tells Naughty But Nice Rob.

“The only way they have a future is if Kim continues to do whatever he says,” the insider adds.

As RadarOnline.com has previously reported, Kim, 32, and Kanye, 35, have spent a majority of her pregnant apart — she’s been jetting around the world, while Kanye has been suspiciously working on a new album not in the U.S., but in Paris.

“Some of the greatest records that have ever been recorded have been recorded in America. I am sorry that the US recording studios are not good enough for Kanye – they were good enough for Elvis, Sinatra and Michael Jackson, but not Kanye!” the source tells Naughty But Nice Rob.

The site also reports that the high-profile couple didn’t exactly have the best time while house hunting in L.A. this weekend when he hit his head on a street sign – and blamed Kim!

“He told her that she should have guided him out of the way,” adds another pal. “He treats her like his assistant. She is putting up with it at the moment but eventually she will say enough!”

[From Radar]

IMMA LET YOU FINISH but you should have guided me away from that sign that I walked into, Perfect Bitch. These are the thoughts that run through Kanye’s mind. Right before he walks smack into a WRONG WAY sign. And he literally can’t see the metaphor.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Kanye West was ATTACKED! By a sign! Yes, he was mercilessly assaulted by a “Wrong Way” sign that was part of some parking garage or something. Kanye was with Kim on Friday, checking out some real estate and then going for lunch. According to TMZ, Kanye was attempting to “duck his head” to avoid getting his picture taken but he missed the low “Wrong Way” sign and smacked his head into it. It left a mark!!!

Do you see the mark? It’s just a little boo-boo on his forehead. There’s video too!

At first Kanye got mad at one of the paps but then he seems to walk away. But then this happened (NSFW language):

Dude. People walk into things all the time. I still have a small scar on my nose from the day that my car trunk door decided to fall on me when I was loading groceries. I still have a scar on my leg from when I was 8 years old and I accidentally slammed a sharpened pencil into my leg. I’ve fallen going UP the stairs. My point? Having a hissy fit about it doesn’t make it any better. Just be thankful you weren’t seriously injured and laugh at yourself. But of course Kanye cannot do that.

…On the bright side, at least we aren’t talking about what Kim is wearing.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Yes, we’re still talking about Kim Kardashian’s awful Givenchy dress at the Met Gala. Let’s call it “Givenchy-gate: Day 3”. I grew up thinking Givenchy was the pinnacle of couture, THE design house for the rich and beautiful and tasteful. But with so many famous fashion houses, Givenchy has been taken over by designers who simply want their work to be known, who want to simply get their designs on famous ladies. So it is with Riccardo Tisci, the current designer for Givenchy. Tisci is a close friend of Kanye West, and Tisci personally designed Kim’s Met Gala gown. He thought his design was gorgeous!

Why did designer Riccardo Tisci cover Kim Kardashian in flowers for the 2013 Met Gala? To celebrate her pregnancy, of course! In an interview with Women’s Wear Daily, the Givenchy designer is defending the all-over flower dress he created for the pregnant reality star to wear on the red carpet at the May 6 Costume Institute Gala in New York City.

“She is a really good friend, and I am very happy she came to the Met for the first time. I love Kim,” Tisci told WWD. “Doing maternity was fantastic. I wanted to have a Kim Kardashian moment, because Kim always supports me.”

“She is the future wife of a really good friend of mine,” Tisci added about Kardashian’s boyfriend Kanye West. (Kardashian’s divorce from Kris Humphries was finalized Apr. 19, but she has not yet announced an engagement to West.) “I wanted to have a moment of family . . . Kim, Kanye and the baby. It will be a family that I will be close to.”

And Tisci said that Kardashian, 32, gave him total control over creating her look for the Punk: Chaos to Couture theme dress.

“I have dressed many pregnant women in the past. People can say what they want. To me, pregnancy is the most beautiful thing in the world, and when you celebrate something, you give people flowers,” he explained. “I think she looked amazing. She was the most beautiful pregnant woman I dressed in my career.”

Though some critics were less than thrilled with the mom-to-be’s dress for the evening, a source told Us Weekly that Kardashian supported Tisci’s vision. “She loved the dress just the way Riccardo designed it for her,” the insider said. “His vision for her was a romantic Spanish theme with touches of boldness and punk.”

[From Us Weekly]

Eh. His defense of his dress was so personal, it’s hard to yell at him. It feels like he was genuinely trying to accommodate Kim and Kanye and he thought he made an interesting and beautiful dress for Kim. Sources claimed that Kim demanded sleeves be put onto the dress at the last minute, so maybe the original design wasn’t quite so… odd.

Other Kim news… Robin William tweeted this:

Which is pretty funny. And this week’s Life & Style cover story is all about how Kanye is trying to convince Kim to have the baby in Paris. A source claims, “Kanye wants the baby born in Paris. He would love the baby to have dual citizenship.” I thought that sounded funky, so I looked it up – France is not like America, a baby born of two foreign parents does not automatically get French citizenship. The baby has to grow up, reach adulthood, and then apply for French citizenship.

Kanye also (allegedly) wants to raise the baby in France and Kim is “refusing” because “It’s so important for her to be near her family and have the baby grow up around its aunts, uncles and cousins. There’s no way she’ll stop fighting Kanye on this.” Kanye has gone back on his agreement to only spend three months in Paris, and now he wants to move there permanently. Meanwhile, Kim wants to give birth in LA, using the same family doctor who delivered Kourtney’s babies. And Kris Jenner has already booked the room at Cedars and “paid the deposit”. Ha. Get used to LA, ‘Ye.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

The very first thing I saw this morning when I got up was everyone yelling about Kim Kardashian’s Givenchy dress at last night’s punk-themed Met Gala. Was Kim’s dress “punk”? No. Was it flattering? No. Was it cute in any way? No. But I still want to defend it, kind of.

Life & Style says that Kim decided “at the last minute” to wear this floral disaster, and she had to get it radically altered to fit her expanding pregnant body. Apparently, “She’s gained a lot of weight in her arms and her stylist has told her she should not show them off. So her dress now has sleeves when it was sleeveless before.” So that’s why the dress has SLEEVE-GLOVES?! Apparently, “Kanye is annoyed, as the dress is by his best friend Riccardo Tisci at Givenchy, and he feels embarrassed that Kim is messing with a beautiful piece of art.” Well, Kanye doesn’t look happy with her on the carpet, but he hasn’t looked happy with her in a while.

Obviously, there are a lot of problems with this dress, but really, people… it could have been SO MUCH WORSE. The floral fabric looks like a 1980s couch, the built-in gloves are giving her hands an “optical illusion” vibe, and I wish her hair was different. But still. It could have been way worse.

PS… OMG, her shoes are made from the same fabric. The Met Gala is not a bridesmaid convention!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

In Touch Weekly’s cover story this week is all about how Kanye West is totally over the Kardashian thing and he has no interest in marrying Kim. I kind of doubted the story when I was covering it yesterday, and someone sent us a tip about Kanye’s Facebook page in which Kanye might have been talking about how much he was looking forward to becoming a father and how much he loved Kim. Then Kanye deleted everything off of his Twitter feed and he tweeted this:

And in case you’re wondering, the one person he’s “following” is Kim. So what is going down on June 18th? Is that Kim’s due date? Is that the date of her scheduled C-section? Or is it – as I theorized to myself yesterday – the date in which Kanye and Kim will get married? Radar says Kanye has finally set a date! Sort of.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have finally set a wedding date, and RadarOnline.com has all the details. After months of will-they-or-won’t-they speculation, the couple is going to tie the knot in a lavish wedding in the Los Angeles area right after the birth of their child, an insider close to reality TV’s first family tells Radar exclusively.

Kim is set to exchange “I do’s” wearing an “ethereal white wedding dress,” the source said, and wants a location “where they can hear the waves and be married under the moon and stars.

“Kim’s choice at the moment is a starlight ceremony in California’s Big Sur,” the insider added, noting that Kanye has signed off on all of the stipulations, as well as signing off on whichever wedding planner she chooses.

But don’t think that Kim is going to be making all of the decisions about the wedding — or in this relationship. Kanye has made it completely clear to Kim that he does not want ANY media at the wedding and they will not sell their wedding photos for profit.

“Instead, Kanye says they should consider a donation to one of Kim’s charities like the Skin Cancer Foundation, or Mattel Children’s Hospital in a deal around the wedding for a short film,” the insider said.

The decision to marry right after the baby is born came after Kim ended her year-and-a-half long battle with ex-husband Kris Humphries. Of course this is all dependent on the paperwork for Kim’s divorce being finalized in time!

The insider said the superstar couple have been talking “about marriage for a long time, so it’s not like Kanye is going to propose and they’ll get engaged — its been something they’ve been looking forward to for a while during the divorce. Now that Kim’s almost a free woman, she wants an immediate wedding — she wants to marry the father of her baby as soon as possible, but the birth must come first.”

Besides preparing for the birth and wedding, Kim has also been feverishly looking for a home with three nurseries, keeping Kanye, who’s been working in Paris, in the loop on “every tiny detail.”

The insider said that Kim showed Kanye “a folder of houses she’s seen and all her recent scans and medical reports. She had a folder for Kanye to take, so he hasn’t missed any of the baby progress or house choices … they’re both getting more and more excited for the baby.”

[From Radar]

IF Kanye agrees to marry Kim, do you think they’ll wait until after the baby is born? I kind of think that if they’re going to do it, they’ll do it shotgun style. I was trying to figure out the exact date of Kim’s divorce dissolution of whatever but I can’t find it. I think she’s going to be “officially” divorced by the first week of June, which means there’s a window of time where she and Kanye can get married and then she’ll give birth.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Kim Kardashian and her Bump of Doom have taken the cover of this week’s In Touch Weekly. ITW has been on her jock about gaining weight and losing her sexiness and a lot of different things lately. This week’s version is all about how Kanye is totally over this whole mess, and he’s just sticking with Kim because he wants to be in the baby’s life. Allegedly, Kim thought ‘Ye would drop down on one knee as soon as her divorce was finalized, but sources claim Kanye hasn’t even considered buying a ring:

Known for rushing into love quickly, a seven-months-pregnant Kim Kardashian is still ringless after finally being granted an official divorce from NBA player Kris Humphries.

Jeweler Lorraine Schwartz, who created Kim’s custom 20.5-carat engagement ring from Kris, tells In Touch that the process of designing new bling for her friend hasn’t even begun. “I have no idea [what it will look like],” she tells In Touch of the assumed future engagement ring baby daddy Kanye West will present to Kim. “I haven’t done it yet.”

And sources are saying that the famed celebrity jeweler may not want to wait by the phone.

When Kim met up with boyfriend Kanye in NYC on April 24, she thought he had “checked out of their relationship,” an insider close to Kim tells In Touch. “She’s finally free to marry him now that her divorce to Kris [Humphries] is final, but he has absolutely no intention of walking down the aisle with her. He only wants the baby.”

Kanye — who’s living in Paris, 5,700 miles away from his baby mama — has only spent 29 days with Kim since she announced her pregnancy in December. The couple have been dating since spring 2012.

[From In Touch Weekly]

The insider goes on to say that Kanye has realized that Kim is a “worldwide joke” and he’s trying to figure out how to untangle himself. I don’t know, you guys… am I the only one who thinks it’s more complicated than “Kanye is into it” versus “Kanye is over it”? I think Kanye is trying to reposition himself career-wise, I think he knows Kim is bad for his branding, but I think he also kind of loves her and wants to give this whole “having a steady partner and a baby” thing a try. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.

Anyway, Kim flew from Paris to London yesterday – here are some photos of her in both cities. The photos where it looks like she’s wearing a garbage bag are from London.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Here are some photos of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in Paris yesterday. According to Fame/Flynet, they spent the day shopping at “Givenchy, Ferragamo, Hermes, Celine and Lanvin” and then they went to L’Avenue for lunch. Aw. They’re like best girlfriends. That seriously sounds like a really fun day – a morning full of shopping at the best boutiques in Paris followed by a great lunch at one of Paris’s best restaurants. It does seem like more of a “girlfriends’ day out” though, right? I’m not trying to stereotype, I’m just saying that most men would not consider that a really fun day. But most men aren’t Kanye West, Fashion Designer and Professional Bon Vivant.

As for Kim’s outfit… I’m tired of complaining. She should not be wearing such high-necked ensembles, but I do like the idea of a long dress with a little cardi. It’s almost flattering. Hopefully Kanye was not really as annoyed as he looks in these photos.

Meanwhile, did you hear that Kim and ‘Ye have asked their friends to give to charity in lieu of baby gifts? Us Weekly reports that Kim and ‘Ye haven’t registered for anything and they aren’t planning to. Instead, they’ve asked friends and families to make a donation to Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago. The hospital released a statement too:

“Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago would like to extend its sincerest gratitude to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for their thoughtfulness and support of the hospital. Funds donated on behalf of Kardashian and West will be directed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit Fund, which will help care for the most critically ill babies and their families. We wish them all the best in the upcoming arrival of their baby.”

[From Us Weekly]

I’m genuinely surprised and pleased. Considering this is a Chi-town hospital, I’m assuming it’s more Kanye than Kim, but even then… wouldn’t you expect both Kanye and Kim to be all about the presents and materialism? Beyonce and Jay-Z didn’t request charitable donations in lieu of gifts. Neither did Duchess Kate and Prince William!!! (Ha! Sorry, I love comparing Kim K. and Duchess Kate – it’s my new favorite thing! Seriously, though – Kate is accepting baby gifts and Kim is not. Discuss.)

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

As we discussed yesterday, Kim Kardashian was having a “miserable” time of it in Greece with her family. The Kardashian-Jenner clan traveled to Greece late last week for an all-expenses-paid (by E!) vacay in which Lamar Odom and Kanye West were not able to attend. And Kim was sad! Because it was humid and she’s super-preggo and all she wants to do is arrange photo-ops with Kanye. So in a rare moment of generosity towards his baby-mama, Kanye West came to Greece for a few hours and then he ordered a private plane for himself and Kim and they went to Paris.

Kim Kardashian is on a European adventure! After spending several days in Mykonos, Greece, with her family — and taping scenes for Keeping Up With the Kardashians, natch — the pregnant reality star received a visit from Kanye West on Monday, Apr. 29, Us Weekly can exclusively report.

The A-list couple “had a quick meal in Greece with her family,” a source reveals. Shortly after, the pair chartered a private plane to Paris, France, where the 35-year-old rapper is currently working on his next album. Kardashian’s famous family, meanwhile, stayed behind in Greece. (Stepbrother Brody Jenner and half-sister Kylie Jenner were seen doing flips off a yacht, while the rest of the family went jet skiing and horseback riding.)

After being whisked away by West, Kardashian tweeted that she had the “best day ever.” The following day, she subtly revealed her new location. “Bon jour!” she wrote. “Gym time.”

The twice-wed 32-year-old will welcome her first child in July. Though West has yet to propose, the mom-to-be does see herself walking down the aisle a third time. “I do think I would get married again,” Kardashian revealed during Ryan Seacrest With the Kardashians: An E! News Presentation, which aired Sunday, Apr. 21.

She added, “”That’s what I’ve always wanted. And just because you think you find it and you realize that’s not it, I think I was brave enough to realize that quickly and not waste time.”

[From Us Weekly]

Radar’s version of this story is that Kanye did NOT come to Greece, that he only sent a private plane to pick her up and she flew to Paris to meet him there. I don’t know which story is true, but my guess is that Us Weekly got the tip from “someone” (Lucifer’s homegirl?) and they’re probably right. Anyway, you can breathe easier knowing the Kat-Face is now in Paris. And honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if Kim did end up giving birth in Paris. That’s not what she wants, I bet, but she thinks it will make her more like Brangelina, and she really doesn’t want to leave Kanye’s side now. I think it’s sad that she’s the one changing around everything to be with him, and he barely does anything to make it easier on her.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.