I think being a rockstar would be great, it’s still on my career ambitions list. Right under supermodel. I’m not sure how old I have to be before I give the rocker dream up (supermodel ambitions died as I left my teens) but I’m guessing 75. I’m looking to Mick Jagger for advice.

While there are many great perks to the rockstar lifestyle, the experience must have less meaning if you can’t remember it. Case in point: Ozzy Osbourne.

68-year-old Ozzy has recently been paid a £1 million advance to write his autobiography, due for release in May 2008, but it seems he can’t remember enough stories (and I suspect chronological order is also a problem for him) to actually write the book.

‘I cannot imagine the book being ready in 5 months, because so far Ozzy hasn’t written anything - he hasn’t even got a ghostwriter yet,’ a pal tells the Daily Star.

‘So it is going to be some time before the book actually appears, if it ever does.’

Ozzy recently confessed his powers of recollection aren’t fanastic.

‘My memory isn’t what it used to because of the drugs and alcohol I’ve been living on for the best part of my adult life,’ he said. ‘I often get asked, “Is it true you snorted a line of ants?” Knowing me, there’s a very good possibility. But do I remember it? No way.’

Now Magazine

This is a real shame, because beyond the notorious bat biting incident I’m pretty sure Ozzy would have some great rock ‘n’ roll tales to tell. Apart from the simple stories of drink and drugs, I’d love a detailed breakdown of what was actually going through his head as he bit the head off a live bat. And a live dove. And killed the family’s pet cats. Is PETA onto this man?

Unfortunately, I doubt Ozzy could give me a clear idea of what is going through his head right now, let alone during his time with Black Sabbath, but hopefully he’ll get a great ghostwriter. His wife Sharon has written an autobiography, can’t she help?

Picture note by Celebitchy: Ozzy Osbourne is shown performing at Whembley Arena on 6/19/07, and with his wife Sharon on 7/28/06 at the launch of their t-shirt line. The also auctioned off many personal items earlier this month including cars and furniture to benefit Sharon’s colon cancer charity. Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures.

All relationships have their quirks. The beauty is that most relationships are private, and the quirks stay between the couple. For example no one would ever want to know that my ex-boyfriend and I had nauseatingly cute nicknames for each other involving woodland creatures. And no one would ever want to know that Ozzie and Sharon Osbourne have a suicide pact. Yep, if one of them kicks it, the other is supposed to swallow a vat of poison and join them in the beyond. Alright they weren’t detailed enough to specify poison, but that seems the way they’d go.

Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne have agreed on a suicide pact - so they can both die at the same time. Rock matriarch Sharon, who is also Ozzy’s manager, has revealed she and her husband agree they cannot live without each other, and so they’ve chosen to go to the grave together.

She explains: “Whatever it was, where you know you’re going to die, we would want to choose the time where we want to leave. I would go with my old man, and he would come with me… (Fortunately) my husband is better than ever, health-wise.”

But the macabre suicide pact doesn’t kick in until 2012, with busy Sharon adding she can’t contemplate taking her life “in the next five years”.

[From Ireland Online]

Um… good for you? I never know what to say in these kinds of situation. Whenever someone tells you they have a suicide pact, it’s always so awkward. First there’s the revelation, and then there’s you trying to act like you’re supportive and non-judgmental, and then you have to tell them that’s great but you don’t swing that way… wait that’s all for coming out of the closet. How does one tell others they have a suicide pact? Well I guess if you’re anything like the Osbournes (and what couple isn’t, at least a little bit?) then you go on “Extra” for that explicit purpose. Can anyone say “attention starved?” Maybe it’s time to put Ozzie back on the pills and let him shuffle down Hollywood Boulevard. Compassionate? No. But probably a little more fun than a suicide pact.