There are a few hypothetical celebrity couplings the very idea of which is so horrendous that it’s actually immediately transferred from the conscious, to the subconscious, to the unconscious, and then just thrown the hell away. Freud wrote about it. Something like “gross the hell out” complex. And the best example I can give of it is the idea of Michael Jackson dating Pamela Anderson. Which really is… stop it, keep it in your conscious mind now… happening according to the Daily Mirror.

We really shouldn’t be surprised at anything when it comes to Michael Jackson. But we have to admit we were shocked when we found out he’d been on a string of dates with Pamela Anderson. The odd couple seem to have bonded over their love of plastic surgery and have been hooking up in Malibu.

We hear the big-boobed babe is a massive fan of Michael… and it seems the feeling is mutual. A source said: “It was all arranged by their people in total secrecy, very cloak and dagger. Michael is such a private person. He gets nervous when he thinks people are following him around, so he chose somewhere neutral for their first date. They arrived separately at the Shutters Hotel on Malibu Beach so no one would suspect anything and then had a few drinks in the bar.”

The pair requested a hidden area in the corner - for two reasons. Firstly, it shielded them from any prying eyes. And second, it would have protected them from the dangerous melting effects of the Californian sunshine. After all, there’s a fine line between looking hot and having a runny, bubbling face. Our source went on: “They were very chatty. Pamela was being her usual flirty self and Michael seemed to be responding. They are such a strange couple but they seemed to really hit it off.”

So much so Michael plucked up the courage to ask Pammy out on a second date. And she was more than happy to accept.

[From the Daily Mirror]

This is one of those rumors I’d clearly call bullshit on if it were about any two people besides Pamela Anderson and Michael Jackson. These two crave ridiculous, improbable levels of drama the way the rest of us need protein and vitamins. It is absolutely essential to their existence. And the more insane something seems, the higher the chance they’re actually doing it.

I’m guessing they’re going to have some half-orange, half dermatology-induced bleached children in the very near future.

Here’s Pamela Anderson running errands in Malibu on Labor Day. Images thanks to Fame. Header photo of Michael Jackson is a file photo from 2006. Images thanks to PR Photos and Fame.

File photo of Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee from 12/19/05. Credit: BauerGriffinOnline.com
They fooled us again. Just when Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson had us convinced that they were containing their special strain of Hepatitis to each other exclusively, the rumor mill has the on-again-off-again duo paired up with other people- in spite of their living together. Pam has said that she and their sons have been living with Tommy strictly platonically while her home is being renovated- but their touchy feely antics recently suggested otherwise. Not so- Pam has taken up with a member of the Abu Dhabi royal family (!), while Tommy is slumming with an even more nasty version of his ex wife.

Anderson has been quietly seeing a man from the United Arab Emirates. And he’s not just any man—the dude is a member of Abu Dhabi’s royal family, a source exclusively tells me.

The blond bombshell star of E!’s new Pam: Girl on the Loose is being tight-lipped about the mystery beau, but we’ve got some details for you…

She’s actually only revealed his name to a few friends, so she usually refers to him by a pet name: Milk-Sheik, or Milk for short.

Most recently, they were spotted hanging out with friends this weekend at the Abbey, a gay bar in West Hollywood. “He’s very handsome,” says my source.

Anderson apparently met her new beau when she visited Abu Dhabi in June with the Make a Wish Foundation. Since then, she has announced she is partnering with the royal family to build an ecofriendly hotel in the area.

Now it seems that Tommy’s going tit for tat. Literally.

Sources tell E! news that the Mötley Crüe rocker is dating Rock of Love 2 hottie Daisy De La Hoya. And despite assertions from De La Hoya’s rep that the duo are “just friends,” our source says they’re much more.

At the very least, De La Hoya is hot for Tommy’s fans. She’s featured on Lee’s Titty Cam video—girls flashing their breasts for the camera—which plays at the beginning of Mötley Crüe’s current concert tour.

[From E!Online]

I’d say Pam is going for an upgrade here- but knowing her it won’t last long. Especially if their hangout of choice is a gay bar. As for Tommy, if he is hooking up with duck-lipped Daisy, the pair will put their superpowers of skank together to create the most invincible STD known to man.

Daisy De La Hoya is shown below in a photo from her Myspace:

Pamela Anderson leaves me utterly confused, probably because gazing into that cleavage is kind of hypnotic. Her breasts just seem to have a career of their own, separate from the body they are attached to. I have no idea exactly what it is she does for a living, her career seems to be based entirely on blonde hair, a tan and her previously mentioned assets. It doesn’t seem to matter that she’s over 40 and looks like she’s ready to be skinned for a handbag, she is still trading off of her physical attributes.

This is not the part of Pamela Anderson that is causing me confusion today, I’m confused by her relationship with Tommy Lee. Pam tried to explain their living situation.

She says, “We’re great friends. We just live together. And we’re ex-husband and wife.”

And, although there is no romance between the pair, she hasn’t given up hope of one day reuniting with him: “It’s kinda silly. I don’t know where that’s gonna go. The dream would be that all of us could really be together, but we’re better friends.”

San Francisco Chronicle

This comes after a friend of Tommy Lee’s claimed if you were nice to him, he’d show you naked pictures of Pamela Anderson on his cell phone that he’s taken in recent weeks.

From these pictures you could safely assume that Pammy and Tommy are engaging in carnal acts, and they live together, and have children together. I think Pam, despite your confusion and denials, that you are a couple. None of these attributes fits into the ‘just friends’ category.

Why is the couple living together? Is it to be closer to their children, or to share cash resources? I’m trying to imagine the house rules – Is Tommy allowed to bring a girl home for sex but not invite Pam?

Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee and their kids are shown filming scenes for her reality show on the beach in Malibu on Memorial Day, 5/26/08. Credit: Mike/Fame Pictures

Jennifer Garner and Violet, two and a half, go shopping in Brentwood yesterday. Garner lets us get a glimpse of her shopping list, which includes organic hotdogs, wheat germ, chicken, and chocolate. She’s been wearing a lot of loose tops lately, not that I would jump to any conclusions about that.

Tara Reid still looking super skinny, but healthier outside of Mr. Chow yesterday. She stopped to sign autographs for some fans. According to IMDB, she has two films in the works and one just completed called Vipers. The tagline reads “First Comes The Slither, Then Comes The Slaughter.” It’s a living.

Paris Hilton and Benji Madden watch the Kendell Holt vs. Ricardo Torres lightweight championship at Planet Hollywood in Vegas. Doesn’t she have man hands? Mike Tyson was also there, dreaming of his glory days.

Pamela Anderson celebrates her 41st birthday at the Luxor in Vegas. There are also photos of her hanging all over Criss Angel and licking her birthday cake, which was adorned with a giant flower in the shape of lady parts. Gossip Girls has those pics.

Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman go out to dinner at Tra Di Noi Resaurant in Malibu, California on 7/5/08. Devito, 63, and Perlman, 60, have been married 16 years and have three children: Lucy, 25, Grace, 23, and Jacob, 20.

All images thanks to WENN.

Incensed over a t-shirt the country singer wore that read “Real Girls Eat Meat,” longtime animal rights activist and vegetarian Pamela Anderson, 40, let loose on Jessica Simpson in a name-calling tirade. Anderson didn’t go for the obvious criticism and call Simpson “stupid” or “misguided,” adjectives that have been aimed at Anderson on many occasions, and she didn’t give her the benefit of the doubt about wearing a shirt with a slogan many vegetarians find offensive. Anderson called Simpson a “bitch and a whore,” but then backtracked a little, suggesting it’s ok to eat man meat, just not animal meat:

Jessica upset Pammi and all her vegetarian chums by wearing a T-shirt proclaiming: “Real girls eat meat.”

But now the former Baywatch babe has hit back with a spectacular insult.

Speaking on radio in Australia – where she’s waiting to go into the Big Brother house – the star slammed her rival buxom blonde.

Pammi blasted: “I think she is a bitch and whore.

“Actually, I don’t know if she was talking about food or men.”

She added that she is proud of not eating meat, saying: “I think it’s healthy, good for your body and good for the environment.”

[From The Sun]

I know I’ve seen video of Anderson eating uh, the other kind of meat, and she does so with relish. Our advertiser Deceiver points out that Pamela Anderson might urge us to boycott KFC for their cruel practices and give up meat, but that she has a giant leather Hermes bag that retails for around $10,000. Is it worse to advertise that you eat meat or carry around a leather purse? At least the cow was made into luxury goods and wasn’t eaten, right? It’s not like you buy a new purse worth the price of a used car a few times a week, either, so you’re limiting your cow consumption to the amount you can afford.

Hopefully this will turn into a war of the words between these two intellectually challenged blonds known more for their tabloid personalities than their haphazard careers. Maybe Simpson will shoot back something like “Well she’s a nasty has-been. Is that cow or pig, that bag she’s carrying? Both are tasty.”

Jessica Simpson is shown after her appearance on The View in Las Vegas on 6/25/08. Pamela Anderson is shown at a celebrity memorabilia auction at Planet Hollywood on 6/21/08 where she auctioned off her car - A Dodge Viper with leather seats - to raise money for PETA. They were both in Vegas around the same time, they should have hung out. It strikes me that they would have a lot in common despite their differences over eating meat. Thanks to WENN for these photos.

Apparently even celebrities get the urge for a good Spring cleaning now and then, and Pamela Anderson is no exception. Instead of going the traditional, celebrity-loved eBay route, Pammy decided to have a garage sale. Obviously it wasn’t your regular, run-of-the-mill yard sale with too many baby supplies and plastic dishes. For Anderson’s sale, she rented a house and had prospective buyers wait at a local high school, where they were then shuttled via to the home.

But because she’s still Pamela Anderson, she had to sell some tacky ass shit, including her used undergarments, “book” collection (because I really don’t think her own trashy novels count as books) and autographed paraphernalia from her Baywatch days. Oh, and some fairly ugly furniture.

Proceeds of the sale went to the Canadian actress’ favourite charity People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals (PETA). Among her extensive fashion collection on offer was a chain-mail bra, numerous satin negligees, seven-inch high ’stripper-style’ heels and feather boas. Baywatch fans hoping for a historical reminder of the international hit TV show could buy a signed red float famously carried by Pamela’s character C.J. Parker as she bounced along the beach.

Fans hoping for an insight into Pamela would be interested to see her book collection, including political pundit William J. Bennett’s moral story book ‘The Book Of Virtues’, Eddie Muller and Daniel Faris’s ‘Grindhouse: The Forbidden World of “Adults Only” Cinema’ and the pictorial ‘Kiss Kiss’ by Patrick McMullan.

Numerous copies of her own novels, Star and follow-up Starstruck were also up for sale. Pamela’s predominantly-white furniture for sale included garden loungers and benches, a bath and shower head, a ‘Butt Blaster’ fitness machine, and blue children’s bed, which previously belonged to one of her sons Dylan or Brandon. Among her kitchen items included a toaster, blender, saucepans, a fridge and a chocolate fondue set.

[From the Daily Mail]

Leave it to Pamela Anderson to keep it classy with a chain-mail bra and stripper heels. Which I’m pretty sure are all part of the same outfit. But at least she’s selling some good basics. Because who doesn’t need to stock up on some feather boas and a toaster? I’m sure most of the items will still be appearing on eBay in the near future, due to the enterprising nature of garage sale buyers. So keep your eye out for that bra, as I challenge all of you to a bidding war.

The Daily Mail has pictures of Pam’s crap, if you’re interested. Here’s Pamela at the Bloomberg after party for the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner at the Costa Rican Embassy on April 26th. Her gentleman friend’s name isn’t given anywhere, though he does seem to be the same guy that appeared in several images with her at a PETA rally in D.C. a few days prior. Images thanks to WENN.

Pamela Anderson’s brief marriage to porn purveyor Rick Salomon never officially happened. The two were granted an annulment of their two month marriage yesterday. Anderson initially filed for a divorce in December, then took it back and said they were working on their relationship.

Late last month she filed for an annulment and Rick followed suit on Friday. Each of them checked the box for “fraud” for the reason they were seeking an annulment. An annulment declares a marriage null and void as if it never happened, but the parties have to prove there’s a reason for it. From what I understand “fraud” is one of the most common reasons couples cite, and is one of the least salacious options, as MSat explained in her post about it.

On the Ellen Degeneres show last week Pamela Anderson quipped that “Men are like books: beginning, middle and end,” but I would say men are more like glossy magazines to her, and she thinks she has a subscription to them that she can renew or end at will.

Anderson was seen out with the father of her two sons, Tommy Lee, at the movies on Easter. She looked like she was wearing some sort of beach wrap. Anderson’s other new ex, Rick Salomon, is shown out with an unnamed woman. Thanks to Splash News for these photos.

Pam Anderson sure knows how to pick ‘em. She married heavy metal douchebag Tommy Lee twice, then wed scrubby rap/rock star Kid Rock. That marriage clocked in at just three months and ended amid claims from Kid that Pam faked a miscarriage to get him to cancel his tour. Not long after the ink on that divorce dried, Pam married Rick Salomon, after claiming that she paid off a poker debt to him in sexual favors. That marriage lasted even less time than her marriage to kid. Now, the aging Playmate has decided that her marriage to Rick was such a mistake, a plain old divorce isn’t enough– she wants an annulment.

In documents filed yesterday in Los Angeles County Superior Court, Anderson is seeking an annulment of her two month marriage to Salomon, based on fraud!

In addition, both parties are seeking to have a private judge hear the matter.

[From TMZ]

You can see the court document here. In it, Pam stipulates that both parties are not entitled to any property, assets or spousal support, and that the grounds of the annulment are based on fraud. Actually, if you look at the document, “Fraud” is one of the least offensive choices to get an annulment– there’s also “bigamous marriage,” “incestuous marriage,” “incurable insanity” and “force.”

Could it be that Rick is looking for alimony from his bride of two months? And why the hell does Pam have such horrible taste in men? If she were smart, she’d find herself a rich plastic surgeon and settle down. Dating and marrying rock stars and scumbags has taken a toll on her looks.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Anderson is shown visiting the Brigitte Bardot Foundation in Paris on February 14 as the new PETA spokesperson.

Is there any limit on when you need to stop appearing nude in public? Or should you never, ever do it? Pamela Anderson at 40 is surely testing the limits of socially acceptable nudity. Always being one to test the boundaries, Pammy is planning on performing at the Crazy Horse cabaret in Paris, famed for its nude revues.

Asked whether Anderson will bare it all in the show, Crazy Horse managing director Andree Deissenberg said: “We’re going to have to talk to Pamela about that.”

“The Crazy Horse has always been about, ‘You think you see everything, (but) you see nothing,”‘ she added. “It’s going to be a sexy, beautiful, creative performance — that’s as far as I can go.”

[From Fox news]

There is no word on whether Pamela will actually be appearing nude in the review. I’m not even convinced there is still a market for her pink lady bits anymore. The details that have been released are that she will be performing to a song, ‘Harley Davidson’, on a Harley Davidson motorbike. Will she get to keep the bike?

Pamela has previously said that she would be performing in Europe to ‘fulfill the exhibitionist in me.’ That statement was made on her official blog, which has been inaccessible ever since rumors of her abortion surfaced.

Pammy might have been concerned that a stripper role could damage her acting career, but after seeing Blonde and Blonder I don’t think it’s an issue.

Pammy performs at the Crazy Horse on February 13th and 14th. Take your girlfriend, it’ll make a great Valentine’s Day surprise.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Pamela Anderson is shown at LAX nightclub on New Year’s Eve, thanks to PRPhotos.

Today’s NY Post is reporting that Pamela Anderson filed for divorce from Rick Salomon after two months because he went into a jealous rage after seeing pictures of her canoodling with slimy magician Criss Angel. The National Enquirer reports that these two careened toward inevitable splitsville after being unable to agree on the subject of their joint reality show, a rumor that Anderson has tried to quash. Which was it? I bet it was a little bit of both mixed up with a lot of immaturity.

Here is the NY Post’s take on their breakup, which is now temporarily on hold as they try to put the sharp tiny pieces of their fragile relationship back together: (Which would make their hands bleed, but I’m only going so far with this metaphor.)

Spies in Las Vegas say Anderson spent Dec. 8, the night before her final performance with magician Hans Klok, “cozying up to” publicity-loving illusionist Criss Angel at club LAX. Pictures were taken, gossip was spread - and Salomon “hit the roof when he found out Pam was hanging out with Criss while he was off at a poker tournament. They had a huge fight,” and Anderson filed for divorce a few days later.

[From The NY Post]

The Post quotes a friend who says that “Their relationship is so volatile [that] I’m sure this won’t be the last time [Pam] files,” but adds that she was just innocently hanging out with Criss and that nothing was going on there.

The National Enquirer’s take is that they were arguing over what focus their rumored reality show would take. Pam blogged that it was true that she was considering a reality show, but said that it would have focused on her professional life and not her family or kids or kids. Maybe that was true, but I have a tendency to believe the Enquirer’s version, because a show about Pam’s job as a magician’s assistant and celebrity who shows up to promote stuff sounds super boring:

Money is at the root of their problems, say insiders. The two have been quarreling over the details of a new reality show which will center on their lives…

Just last week the two had a huge blow-up when Rick tried to assume control over a deal for their proposed reality show, titled “Pam & Scum.” (Rick’s nickname is “Scum.”)

While Rick wanted the show to focus on his relationship with Pam and his gambling, Pam wanted their reality series to focus more on her life in Malibu with her two sons, says the insider.

“When Rick balked at that, Pam filed. She felt she was the marquee name, it was her show, and she’d do the negotiating.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, December 31, 2007]

Their reality show would have been called “Pam and Scum?” That sounds so catchy and appealing.

The Enquirer article goes on to say that they agree now on the subject of the reality series after Rick gave in to Pam’s ideas about how it should center only on her, and that they’re trying to get the E! Channel to pick it up.

Maybe E! passed, or maybe the show is still happening and Pam wants to keep it under wraps by denying it. We’ll have to see what happens.

Pam admitted that her relationship with Rick started when she had sex with him to pay off a $250,000 poker debt, so it’s not like they had the most auspicious beginning. She seems like the type who can’t handle normal relationship problems and just wants to get the hell out as soon as she faces any sort of challenge with her mate. In that case maybe she should get divorced - and never marry again. That way, she can walk away whenever she wants. If she was just leaving boyfriends and not husbands she wouldn’t get as much publicity though, so she probably would rather get divorced again and reap all the headlines that go along with it. As it is we’re talking about her and all she’s done lately is work on a Vegas magic show and star in “Blond and Blonder.”