Did you see the segment that Jimmy Kimmel put out after Halloween in which he asked parents to tell their kids that they’d eaten all their Halloween candy, tape it and post the videos on YouTube? You can watch it here if you missed it, and it’s hilarious. Well Jimmy did a repeat performance for us with Christmas presents. He asked parents to tell their kids that they were going to let them open one gift ahead of time and to give them something they’d never want. There were a lot of half-eaten sandwiches, gifts for girls given to boys, and disappointed kids. In most instances the kids got mad or upset, and one little girl was hilariously philosophical about it. I watched this video with my seven year-old son and didn’t realize that he would learn a very naughty phrase until it aired at the end. He repeated it a few times, I told him it was inappropriate, then we watched the video again. I’ll include some of my thoughts below in the format that Kaiser uses for music videos:

:44 – these kids are too young to prank like this

:50 – there’s nothing funnier than a kid eating bad food

1:00 – the battery girl is thrilled, but her sister is thinking “I got an onion, I must hide my disappointment.”

1:20 – did you see that dog eat the hot dog? That was the best part, and these kids are good sports.

1:38 – aw, I feel for that kid. “This is the worst present ever.”

1:44 – this girl is the little star of the video. She’s adorable and her brother cracks me the hell up. She gets a 1/2 eaten sandwich and then tries to explain to her mother why she’s not grateful for it, like she is for dinner. “I appreciate her getting us a present, but I didn’t know it would be like that. It’s a sandwich of mine. I love your cooking when you cook like, dinners. Like hot pockets.”

2:30 – this video is so wrong. Why would you post this video publicly after your kid screamed and cried like this? Why would you even continue taping and torturing him without letting him know it’s a joke? The kid cries to his dad. Santa’s “putting you on the naughty list! Because you gave me a stupid Hello Kitty sweater.”

3:30 – The best part is when the mom excitedly tells her daughter that a regular potato is a Mr. Potato Head. Her son tries to make sense of it. “Santa did not have those things. I saw you out at the car… Those things are not from Santa Claus.”

3:40 – someone turn off the camera for this poor kid already!

4:00 – This mom is so deadpan in her delivery. This is payback from this mom. She knows what’s she’s doing.

4:30 – These kids are old enough to be in on the joke. “Tell [Jimmy Kimmel] to suck my balls.” Oh damn! I just hope my kid doesn’t remember that, but you know he will.

Image below via Daily Picks and Flicks

Katy Perry did an acoustic version of Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” during a concert in Paris last night. I have to say that I’m surprised at how well she sings in this clip (she’s usually off key) and continue to be amazed at how much “Born This Way” sounds like “Express Yourself.” It seems like Katy sings better when she’s able to sit down and concentrate instead of having to wag her T&A all over the stage. She’s still not good enough to get to the top three on American Idol, but she can sing ok.

In related news about Katy, she’s been named the new face of British “hairstyling and appliance brand” ghd. New ads will appear featuring Katy and shot by David LaChapelle. ghd will also sponsor Katy’s European tour, which is currently on now. As US Magazine reviews, Katy currently reps Proactiv and Schick. Plus she has her own perfume. All she needs is a book, a reality show and a multiple clothing and shoe lines.

For comparison here’s Gaga doing Born this Way at the Grammys:

Katy is shown at Paris Fashion Week (with blue hair) on 3/8 (credit: Fame) and performing in Italy on 2/23/11. Credit: WENN.com

Here’s a strange piece of news. Remember how Lou Reed denied permission for Susan Boyle to sing Perfect Day on America’s Got Talent, essentially causing her to cancel her performance because she hadn’t prepared a different song? Well Lou has made it up to Susan, by allowing her to cover Perfect Day on her upcoming album and by directing the music video for it – her first! Susan’s Perfect Day video was shot in her native Scotland, and Reed explains that it was his idea to highlight the country’s beautiful landscape. The result is pretty haunting when you view the video coupled with Susan’s angelic version of Reed’s classic (above, and a higher quality version is available for US users on Popeater). Here’s more, from Popeater:

Reed’s 1972 classic ‘Perfect Day’ — one of the tracks featured on her new album, ‘The Gift,’ in stores November 9.

Directed by Reed himself, the video was a way of showing support for the Scottish siren after his not-so-favorable reaction over her version of his trademark track in September. Reed says of the project, “I wanted to create a beautiful and intimate piece shot in Susan’s native Scotland and she quickly agreed.” And that’s just what he did. Expect sweeping shots of lush forests and gorgeous sunrises.

Boyle’s second album, ‘The Gift,’ is a seasonal collection of songs including Christmas classics like ‘The First Noel’ and ‘O Holy Night’.’ Boyle herself says the music is meant to “touch hearts.” “Music has always been a companion to me, particularly on special occaisons” Boyle explains. “I wanted there to be a mix of songs that would flow with all our moods this holiday season. As much as the season is a time for reflection, it is also a time for fun and enjoyment with those closest to us.”

[From Popeater]

I give Reed credit for reneging and working with Susan, but you also have to consider the serious amounts of money involved. Boyle’s last album was the 2nd highest seller in 2009, barely getting edged out by Taylor Swift. Her new CD, The Gift, is currently number one on the Amazon music charts. (It just came out on iTunes today in the US so it’s not charting yet.) Reed created a beautiful tribute to Boyle’s music and her gentle personality with this majestic video, but he had some powerful motivation too. He seems to understand that you “reap what you sow” when it comes to working with a talented successful lady like Susan.

Susan Boyle is shown on 10/9/10, credit: Barcroft/Fame Pictures. Lou Reed is shown on 10/7 and 10/5. Credit: WENN.com

Credit goes to the Huffington Post for compiling this series of funny ass videos from local news segments. I’ve seen about half of these before, most notably the leprechaun segment via D-Listed, but they’re well worth rewatching.

Leprechaun in Mobile, AL. The best part is the sketch at :45. “It could be a crackhead that got hold to the wrong stuff.”

UFO guy at O’Hare airport. “There’s no proof [of UFOs] just like there’s no proof of Jesus or people going to the restroom until they tell you about it. You know what I mean?”

16 year-old Australian Corey Worthington on the massive party he held when he parents were on vacation. “Every time [my parents] call I don’t answer, ’cause they’ll probably try to kill me… I’ll say sorry but I’m not taking off my glasses because they’re famous.”

Coffee shop robbery victim in Kansas City, MO describes her ordeal. (This was also recently on D-Listed)

Here’s a new remix of the Backin’ Up lady, courtesy of Auto-Tune The News, which did the Antoine Dodson Bed Intruder song. It’s not quite as catchy as Antoine’s and sounds more like a jingle. [via Internet Today]

Surfer kid describes how great the waves are after a flood in Huntington Beach, CA. “Dude, you get the best barrels ever, dude.”

Now that I’ve discovered Internet Today, I have to post this composite photo of Internet memes they recently featured. [Credit to reddit users and via Internet Today, which has an explanation of most of the memes included]

And I’ll end with this kind of mesmerizing video of a kid lipsyncing to Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream.” He’s not on the news but I just saw this today and couldn’t stop watching. His name is Keenan Cahill and you can follow him on Twitter.

EMBED-Ardi Rizal – The real SMOKING BABY !! – Watch more free videos
You may have already seen this video of a two year old child from Sumatra (an island in Western Indonesia) smoking like a chimney. It’s shocking and kind of sickeningly funny until you realize that it’s not a computer generated hoax. It doesn’t seem to be faked and this poor little kid is suffering. Little Ardi Rizal smokes two packs a day and will freak out if he’s denied his cigarettes. His dad, who got him hooked at 18 months, doesn’t see a problem with it. Ardi is too out of shape to play with other kids and I would bet that the other mothers are pretty careful to keep their kids away from him.

THESE are the first shocking pictures of smoking toddler Ardi Rizal – who throws tantrums if he can’t puff 40 cigs a day.

The Sun told on Saturday how the two-year-old got hooked after dad Mohammed gave him a [cigarette] at 18 months.

Now he weighs 4st [56 lb, 25kg] and trundles round on a toy truck blowing smoke rings – too unfit to run with other kids.

Mum Diana, 26, wept: “He’s totally addicted. If he doesn’t get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick.”

Ardi will smoke only one brand and his habit costs his parents £3.78 ($5.44) a day in Musi Banyuasin, Indonesia.

Officials have offered to buy the family a car if he quits.

But fishmonger Mohammed, 30, said: “He looks pretty healthy to me. I don’t see the problem.”

[From The Sun via Gawker]

At least now this baby is getting international attention and someone will step in to help him. How do you even get a toddler to stop smoking? Do you give him herbal cigarettes and put him on the patch? It’s sad how the latest viral videos all seem to be about adults exploiting kids.

Front photo credit: BARM/Fame Pictures

Earlier last week, a video came out of what were allegedly seven year old girls bumping and grinding in tiny costumes to Beyonce’s Single Ladies. It took place at a dance competition and while the moves were impressive, the fact that little girls were wearing lingerie-type outfits and gyrating their hips was disturbing. A lot of people wondered what the hell their parents were thinking and how they could allow this.

It turns out that the girls were eight and nine, slightly older than we heard, and that at least two of their parents think it’s our fault for watching the video in the first place, and that the outfits and dance moves are fine. Two parents were interviewed on Good Morning America and they said that they never meant for the video to go viral and that it was never supposed to be viewed by large audiences. The girls were doing what they needed to do to win the competition, and the costumes were designed for “maximum movement,” one mother explained:

Decked out in red midriff-baring tops and hot pants, dancers at a recent competition earned whoops and praise for their skilled moves and obvious talent.

Parents say video was taken out of context and wasn’t intended to go viral.

But what was an exhilarating performance has turned into an Internet firestorm — the dancers gyrating on a Los Angeles stage to Beyonce’s “All the Single Ladies” were as young as 8.

The girls’ parents defended their daughters’ performance at the World of Dance, billed as the largest U.S. urban dance competition, saying their daughters’ moves and outfits were appropriate for competition.

“This is taken completely out of context,” Cory Miller, father of one of the girls, told “Good Morning America” today. “The girls weren’t meant to be viewed by millions of people.”

Miller said they have tried to slow the spread of the video, but viewers need to understand that the girls’ performance was “completely normal for dancing.”

“On behalf of the parents, our best interest is for the kids,” he said. “Just know that the kids are doing something that they completely love to do. They compete in dance competitions … in front of family and friends.”

Melissa Presch, a mother of one of the 8-year-old dancers, said, “We’re very proud of our daughters and their accomplishments…”

Presch said her daughter has never seen Beyonce’s video, only the cartoon performance in the recently released children’s movie “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.”

“It’s one of the most popular songs probably of the decade, said Presch . “The costumes are designed for movement, unrestricted movement and to show body lines.”

Presch also defended the girl’s costumes, saying that judges need to be able to see the girl’s movement and technical skills.

[From ABCNews.com]

These parents have no clue that there’s anything wrong with the way their daughters were dancing. They weren’t even defensive about it and were just kind of matter of fact, like “you just don’t understand.” Maybe the international attention this video has received will be a wakeup call to them, and to a lot of other parents who are putting their children in sexualized costumes and situations. As many of you pointed out, this is all too common in child competitions like dancing and pageants. It’s not that outsiders don’t understand, it’s that insiders have created a situation that is unacceptable and exploitive. They need some oversight that has obviously been sorely lacking.

There are several videos on YouTube featuring two of Michael Jackson’s children: his youngest son, Blanket, 8, and his daughter Paris, 12. Blanket is in most of the videos. He jokes around with his cousin, Donte, while re-enacting movie scenes from Star Wars and Monsters, Inc. In other videos, he talks about a comic book villain and painter Von Gogh. It’s all kind of random and just looks like kids messing around with a new video editing program. (You can see some of the videos in this post, through the links above, and on this account for “King of Pop Kids” on the right side.)

In one video, Paris lipsyncs to a rap by Omer Bhatti, the 26 year-old Norwegian rapper known as Michael Jackson’s “secret son.” The song is actually pretty good and my first impression was that it was Bhatti who leaked these videos in an attempt for publicity. Popeater spoke to one of the YouTube account holders who posted most of the videos, and that guy claims that the videos were leaked by fans who had access to private accounts owned by the Jacksons. There’s an inevitable debate as to whether this is good for the kids or not. Their dad would have surely been against it. The late King of Pop wanted to make sure his children weren’t recognizable to the public or paparazzi and routinely used masks and scarves to cover them while they were out.

With his cousin, Donte Jackson, in the room, Blanket is shown acting out movie scenes and telling imaginative tales, while showing off his animated side. The bulk of the videos star Blanket, but two feature his sister Paris. One is of her simply saying, “Monkey, please help,” while the other shows Paris lip synching over an Omer Bhatti rap song.

Many message board users suggest the two children released the videos themselves, but according to the account owner of the KingOfPopKids YouTube channel, which posted many of the clips of Paris and Blanket, Jackson fans were responsible for the video leak.

“Some ‘fans’ got into one family member account (Facebook and Photobucket) and posted them on the Web,” the user told PopEater in an email interview. “I have been told the account was public and then made private.”

After living their life in seclusion, Paris and Blanket have suddenly interacted with tens of thousands of people through their personal videos. Could this virtual connection be beneficial to the isolated tweens? The owner of KingOfPopKids’ YouTube channel is unsure.

“No, it is not a good exposure because we do not know if they are aware of this,” the user says. “But at the same time, as a fan, I like to see that they are happy, smiling and having fun with their family. That’s a good feeling for us fans, because we feel so empty since Michael’s death. I just think some people need to be careful with the Internet.”

[From Popeater]

It seems like family members could just as easily have “leaked” these videos on purpose. Joe Jackson has said that Paris and Blanket have a future in showbusiness, not that he would have the wherewithal to upload videos to YouTube in order to make that happen.

The last we heard from the Jackson family they were under investigation by Child Protective Services when it came out that 13 year-old Jaafar Jackson, Jermaine’s son, had purchased a stun gun online and was teasing his cousins with it. Thankfully, no one was hurt. We did hear at that time that no less than 14 people lived in the Jackson mansion, including Omer Bhatti, Donte (whose “parentage is unknown”), four cousins, their mother Alejandra Oaziaza, grandmother Katherine, late Michael’s three children, nanny Grace Rwamba, and various help. TMZ reports that the stun gun was to be “part of a movie plot” for these home movies that Blanket and his cousin were making. At 3,000 volts, it’s a good thing they never used the gun on each other and that having their privacy compromised was the worst thing that’s happened so far.

Update: These girls are eight and nine, see additional information in the update below.

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Last year I saw a pretty good “Single Ladies” reenactment by a four year old at home. You’ve probably already seen this video as it received over three million views on YouTube. The little girl, Ariana, was wearing a pink leotard and mimicking the dancing from the video. The moves were adult and included the girl smacking her butt, but it was all rather innocent and cute. (There are plenty of other popular Single Ladies reenactments, and the Huffington Post has a few here.)

A new video (above and available through this link) has surfaced of a troupe of seven year old girls all tarted up and dancing to Single Ladies. It’s shocking both for how well and professionally the girls dance and for the fact that there was even one adult who thought this was a good idea. The outfits are way too provocative and look like lingerie. The dance is too sexy for even younger teens, not to mention seven year old girls. There are five girls there and they had a dance instructor, so there were at least five to six adults who saw this performance (the instructor could have been the mother/father of one or more of the girls) and approved it! What the hell were they thinking? As this clip goes viral I’m sure other people will be asking that question and we’ll learn more about the origins of the clip. For now, all we have is this video and the news that these girls are just seven. What kind of excuse is there for this? It’s not like their instructor needed to have them dance like strippers in order to show off their moves. They will certainly get worldwide attention for it, though.

Update: These girls are eight and nine and their parents say the video was only meant for a dance competition and was taken out of context. One father called this “completely normal for dancing” on Good Morning America. Here’s a link to a video of two parents defending their daughter. The mother says “the costumes are designed for movement.” Give me a break!

[via Huffington Post.]

Update: Here’s the full trailer!

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I will admit that I’ve read all the Twilight books and have seen the films, but I don’t consider myself a fan. The last film, New Moon, was cheesy as hell and it dragged on way too long. I still liked it, in that way you like that first s’more before you end up eating five and making yourself sick. Judging from the 10 second preview trailer for Eclipse, the third film in the series which is due out June 30 in the US, we’re in for more of the same. There’s even a shirtless Taylor Lautner standing on a mountaintop! We just need to know that these dreamy boys will be baring their hairless chests for our pleasure. We need some shirtless young men to punctuate all the endless swooning and lip-biting. (As a mom in her 30s, neither the vampire or the were do much for me, but I don’t mind admiring their physiques.)

So here’s the teaser trailer for Eclipse, which I had to read the plot summary for to remember what happens. Without giving too much away, the battle for Bella heats up and she finds herself torn between the two supernaturals who are inexplicably drawn to her. I’ll admit with my head held low that I’ll go see this. The first film was way better than the second, but this next one has yet a third director so maybe they’ll be able to make this glurge palatable again. There’s not much incentive to improve these films, when young girls will flock to see them no matter what. We may even get to see Lautner’s rippling abs in 3D at one point.

In other news about Robert Pattinson, I’ve heard about the ending of Remember Me and people are pissed. I’m not going to reveal any spoilers or even give a link (you can Google it if you want to know and a middle finger to the person who sent it to me without a spoiler warning) but the film is said to exploit a national tragedy in a way that’s cheap and offensive, by some accounts. If you know what happens, please be vague in the comments and don’t reveal that spoiler, although I have a feeling that if you follow celebrity news you’ll come across it soon. Remember Me is out March 12.

Update: There’s a new interview with Pattinson in Parade Magazine, and he gives a lot of good quotes. This kid is really growing on me. Here are my favorite responses that are sure to get repeated: he says he’s not forward with women and never asks them out and that he was beat up as a kid for acting arrogant. There’s more on Parade.com:

The dating game.
“When it comes to the opposite sex, I’m not as fully confident as the guy I play. I don’t even remember the last time I asked someone out on a date, like, just went up to them and that’s the first thing I did. I’m much more self-conscious and not wanting to fail. So I tend to hold back.”

He’s felt the pain before.
“I got beaten up by a lot of people when I was younger. I was a bit of an idiot, but I always thought the assaults were unprovoked. It was after I first started acting and I liked to behave like an actor, or how I thought an actor was supposed to be, and that apparently provoked a lot of people into hitting me.”

[From Parade]

A year ago a video titled ‘Chloe and Keith’s Wedding’ swept the internet. It’s a goofy 44 second clip of a couple’s wedding video, wherein the best man stumbles while handing over the rings, and in the process crashes into the bride and the minister, both of whom go tumbling into the pool behind them. It was featured on most of the major morning shows and everyone thought it was just hysterical. But it turns out the whole thing was a hoax from the get-go: it’s actually a clip from an independent movie.

One of the hottest viral videos of the last year has been Chloe and Keith’s Wedding, a funny little clip of a bride getting knocked into a pool by the clumsy best man mid-ceremony. It was uploaded to YouTube in October of 2008 and has been viewed by at least 30 million people since then. In February, Time magazine ranked it as one of Internet’s 99 Greatest Hits. It has aired on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, The Today Show, Good Morning America, The Early Show and Australian, British and Japanese news networks. Take a look:

Chloe and Keith have laughed about their wedding day, and appeared on Good Day L.A. on Oct 5 talking about a longer version is now available as a 40-minute DVD and download.

But today, we can tell you: it’s definitely a hoax.

Chloe and Keith are actors named Josh Covitt and Charissa Wheeler. They’re not married. The clip and its video follow-up are both part of a completely scripted independent film conceived by writer/director Archie Gips along with producing partner Dennis Anderson and executive producer Nancy Moonves (ex-wife of CBS chief Les Moonves). The pool the bride fell into? That was Nancy’s. It was filmed at her house.

“Yes, it’s a hoax,” Archie told Lifeline Live in a phone call a little while ago. Added Nancy, “We didn’t set out to fool anyone. It just took on a life of its own.” Archie doesn’t really like the word hoax. “It’s more a blurring of reality and fiction,” he says. It started as a way of marketing what they saw as a romantic comedy movie and it snowballed so much that they kept the myth alive. What about flat-out lying – as the actors seemed to do on Good Day L.A.? “We tried to lie as little as possible,” says Archie.

But he admits that some people are really ticked off at finally knowing it’s not a real clip of a real wedding – and that they’re now selling it. “I’ve gotten some vicious emails,” says Archie. They’ve been trying to get on several of the shows that ran the clip initially and one TV show producer was “livid,” says Nancy. “He felt very betrayed. Where’s his sense of humor?”

[From Lifeline Live]

Because I am lame I somehow managed to never see or even hear of this particular video. What can I say, I really prefer the cute animal viral vids more than anything else. So since I watched this after I already knew it was a hoax, to me it seemed… well not obviousit was staged, but definitely suspicious.

The emotion of the bridesmaids at the end is very cheesy and unrealistic. So I guess it’s not just that it seems like acting, but like bad acting. Keith appears to yell “No!” as Chloe and the minister are falling into the pool. That struck me as unrealistic – in the moment, I think you’d just gasp or something. But no is sort of like, “No! It’s my greatest fear realized!” I know that’s something relatively minor, but he just seemed to be really quick with it. I’d be like, “Is this really happening? This isn’t really happening.” Right after that a bridesmaid giggles and says “Oh my God,” and it is just really fake. Her bad delivery of one half line should have made people suspicious from the get-go. Thanks for ruining it, Bridesmaid Number 4. Your career just went down the toilet.

Actually I can’t help but wonder if the careers of everyone involved in this little debacle just went down the toilet. Or in their case, maybe sucked into the pool filtration system.

Here are “Chloe” and “Keith” on Good Day L.A.