Everyone was saying that Mel Gibson’s career was over after he was caught defaming Jewish people during a DUI arrest. It was assumed that he would go on some sort of unspoken industry black list.

It’s gone beyond passive-agressive whispers and shunning. People are so pissed that they’re calling for an all-out boycott of Mel:

The arresting officer, a Jewish guy with 17 years on the force, is contrite about the whole episode, and insists that he doesn’t want to ruin Mel’s career. Mel did that all on his own.

Meanwhile those stupid women on “The View” are trying to remain relevant by saying that they don’t want to see any more Mel Gibson movies. Countless people undoubtedly agree with them.

The U.S. Jewish Anti-Defamation League has said his colleagues should “condemn him and distance themselves from him.”

And it gets even better - it’s come out that several people offered Gibson a ride home that night and he refused.

Gibson has checked himself into rehab in an effort to do damage control, but the damage is extensive and it’s already done. He’s richer than sin, and unless Opus Dei has taken all his cash he should sit back and enjoy his millions while waiting for this to pass. Maybe he should get some sensitivity training, too.

Now that the news is out that Mel is a royal jerk, the LA County Sheriff’s department figured they may as well release his mug shot. The long beard is gone and he doesn’t look half bad for a drunken bigot.

Tori’s essentially been cut out of her dad’s will in a deal that would make most of us ecstatic with joy. Poor Tori can’t continue her frivolous lifestyle unless her friends chip in to keep her in the illusory labels she’s accustomed to. She’s registered at a chic baby boutique, meaning that she’s pregnant or desperately planning to be. The gossip rags have been divided on Tori’s pregnancy, but it seems likely in light of this latest news:

I would bet that Tori’s seriously in debt. If she’s resorted to selling her clothes on eBay she must have better things to worry about than whether her unborn baby will be decked out in the latest high-priced accessories.

Instead of reassessing her life and shopping at average stores for her baby stuff like the rest of us, Tori is still clinging to the vestiges of wealth. She doesn’t know any better. It’s making her miserable and she’s going to lose everything, but she just can’t let go.

One of Gwyneth’s co-stars in the London stage production of “Proof” said that she had some bizarre practices backstage.

It sounds pretty normal to do yoga if that’s your thing, but a personal chef at a theatre production? I don’t know. Couldn’t she have her macrobiotic meals delivered?

Group hugs are kind of strange, but not damning. I usually look at the crap Gwyneth says to call her pretentious. Reader Millie has a friend who is an acquaintance of Paltrow’s and says she’s really nice, though.

WWTDD really dislikes Gwyneth, and is quick to point out that she has no higher-level education and got her early work from family friends:

And Oh No They Didn’t shows before and after pictures of Gwynnie’s face that make it clear that she’s had rhinoplasty and eye work. She had a good surgeon, I can say that for her.

James Blunt was voted fourth most annoying in a British list. He fell behind telemarketers, camping caravans, and people who cut in line. He was more annoying than everything else according to poller sentiment. Paper cuts, loud neighbors, and farts can’t hold a candle to Blunt’s treacle:

I’d rather drink a glass of sour milk any day than have to endure “You’re Beautiful” again.

Of course Blunt is ten times more annoying for having landed Petra Nemcova. He’s rumored to have a wee willy winky, so Nemcova must just go for the vacant sensitive type.

Here are Blunt and Nemcova in Prague on 7/18 and 7/20. [via]

When I reported on the scathing letter Lohan received from the production studio head of her latest film, I said, “Lohan has become a parody of herself and will have a steady career of increasingly more embarassing endorsements if she doesn’t slow down and focus on her acting. Oh wait - she can sing too, right?”

She can sing, but her music career has fallen prey to her partying ways, too. The British arm of her record label has given her the boot because her single tanked in the UK. Lindsay’s blamed for the failure since she couldn’t be bothered to go to England for promotion:

Oops Lindsay, better concentrate on your career instead of how good you look to the paparrazi.

Here is Lindsay kick-boxing on the beach this weekend. Her trainer looks perplexed and a bit scared. That little firecracker might just hurt him if he’s not careful.

Pictures [via]

Tom Cruise has supposedly agreed on a fall wedding to seal his suspicious relationship with young Katie Holmes. No one quite believes that their changeling baby exists, even if there’s one prominent actress who’s willing to vouch for it. (Why didn’t Will Smith speak up too, huh?) So announcing a vague official date for their sham nuptuals should stem the rumors that they don’t really have a baby and their relationship is contractual, right?

There’s also a rumor that “hollywood insiders” are “scratching their heads” over Suri’s nonappearance and that Tom and Katie are fighting over how to introduce the fictional infant to the public. Someone read the blogs and made this shit up, because there’s no baby to show or relationship to lose:

The only reason Tom and Katie will get married at this point is to try and salvage Tom’s tanking career. I don’t buy any of the weird shit surrounding their relationship or supposed baby. Where’s the baby carriage, where’s a baby seat, where’s a carrier? They need to work harder to cover their deep, meandering tracks.

- Mel Gibson was going to produce a miniseries for ABC on the holocaust, but uh, it’s been canceled! [La.com]
- Kristin Cavallari is almost topless [Mollygood]
- Nicky Hilton has a friend who is even more of a camera whore than she is [The Bastardly]
- Are Gisele Bundchen and Leonardo DiCaprio back together? [Celebrity Mound]
- Julia Roberts goes two weeks at a time without washing her hair [I’m not obsessed]
- Mel Gibson’s movie titles reworked in light of his latest scandal: Bravedrunk, Lethal Weapon 4: Jews start all wars [BlogNYC]
- Pamela Anderson did wear a wedding dress at some point [Hot Momma Drama]
- The Celebrity Baby Blog Breastfeeding Gallery (Yeah, it’s just normal people, not celebrities, breastfeeding, but that’s still awesome) [Celebrity Baby Blog]
- Hillary Duff may not be a virgin after all [Celebrific]
- Tom Cruise’s contract was renewed at Paramount - for about a fifth of what it was worth last year. [Glitterati]
- Check out Brad Pitt’s “Babel” trailer with Cate Blanchett and Gael Garcia Bernal [popbytes]
- The new editor of Marie Claire is trashing Ashlee Simpson for being a plastic surgery hypocrite [PopSugar]
- Maybe Tom and Katie are getting married this weekend, but it’s more likely there’s some big Scientology party [DListed]
- Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock show off their new wedding rings [Faded Youth]
- Jennifer Lopez in a bikini [In Case you Didn’t Know]
- Josh Duhamel is hooking up with a bunch of different hotties, which means he and Fergie are probably over [Celebvent]
- Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri reveal way too much about their sex life [Crunk and Disorderly]
- A bunch of cops tricked Colin Farrell into thinking he was in the middle of a shootout [smart]

Christina Aguilera says that she loves having sex with her husband, music producer Jordan Bratman, in public places.

Unfortunately Aguilera seems to prefer indoor public places, making embarassing pictures unlikely. I don’t really want to imagine Aguilera and Bratman having sex, and wish I never brought it up.

Here they are outside of a restaurant on 7/28. Aguilera looks drunk, and she seems to have dribbled something on her left breast. [via]

Maybe Lance Armstrong had a good, embarassing reason for making all those awkward gay jokes at the ESPY awards. Page Six is suggesting that he has something going on with Matthew McConaughey, but they’re probably just checking out all the biking pictures and jumping to their own stupid conclusion.

Lance might just be a sweaty friend of McConaughey and Gyllenhaal. Hey, straight, bi, and gay guys can all hang out together and do sports without getting busy.

Countless straight guys would disagree with me, but it’s kind of hot to imagine McConaughy, Armstrong, and/or Gyllenhaal getting it on. Yes I put that image in your head. If you’re a semi-straight chick like me, it’s not a bad one.

It’s probably not true, though. Jake was said to be training with Lance so that he could play him in an upcoming movie, and McConaughey was probably just along for the, uh, ride.

McConaughey and Gyllenhaal have been spotted biking without Armstrong. Maybe they’re the real pair on the down low. As long as they keep doing sports together a girl can fantasize.

Lance, Matt and Jake are shown at an ESPY awards party in mid July. Jake and Matt are seen biking together on 7/26, with one older picture of all three biking together thrown in for good measure. Pictures from Gossip Rocks and Mollygood.

Gallery of the Absurd has this fabulous new Mel Gibson bumper sticker. If they would create actual bumper stickers like this, they would sell out.

The pictures of Mel partying it up before refusing a ride home, getting arrested and going apeshit have come out. He looks every bit the aged, washed up bigot.

Mel also said back in the day that he hates gay people, and that he’s such an asshole because he’s a closet case:

He really must hate himself most of all for ruining his posh lifestyle making obscure vanity films.

People are pointing out that if Roman Polanski violated a 13 year-old girl and got his career back after fleeing the country, Mel can too. It took Polanski over twenty years. In Mel’s case, he can probably put his extreme bigotry behind him in about ten.

Maybe he should just invest his money or go into real estate development.