Note by Celebitchy: Please welcome occasional guest writer, fashion and hair expert Micah McCain. He’s a Hollywood fashion stylist and pop culture expert. He’s worked on stars such as Lauren Conrad and has appeared as a panelist on the Chelsea Handler Show. Micah’s commentary on the fashion and style of the celebrities at the “Trump International Hotel and Tower Dubai at The Park Avenue Plaza” on 6/23/08 is below.
Heidi Klum:
I think if you’re married to Seal, than you shouldn’t be wearing it!
If only 2007 Christie Brinkley looked as much like 1984 Christie Brinkley as 2008 Heidi Klum does! KFC has bigger breasts than she does in that top!
Demi Moore:
“A” Your bag should match your shoes, not your hair. “B” Those shoes go with that dress as much as Dick Cheney goes with target shooting. “C” I get that the hair is supposed to be a throw back to Veronica Lake, but frankly she should just throw it back. And “D” That dress looks like a failed attempt at hanging herself using her satin sheets.
Melania Trump:
Judging by that look on her face, she should change her name to Melania STUMPED!
She’s a blonde dye job away from being cast as the live action Smurfette.
Is it me, or does her eye shadow have as many colors going on as his hair does?
Naomi Watts:
Okay let’s REALLY break this down: Why would someone dress like a flapper waitress who’s into foot bondage and then not take a single minute to do anything with her hair, or let alone complete the ensemble by putting on a sequin headband with a feather in it? WATT was she thinking? I’ll tell you what she was thinking, she was thinking “Maybe if don’t do anything with my hair then they’ll focus on how I look like Nicole Kidman without any make-up on, instead of focusing on the fact that I look like the runner up in the ‘Little Miss England Pageant’ after the talent competition!” SHE’S WEARING A SEQUIN DICKEY! I guess she figured if they weren’t gonna roll out the red carpet, then she wasn’t going to dress for it.
I used to think that Demi Moore was so lucky to have landed a hot piece of ass like Ashton Kutcher, particularly after being married to Bruce Willis. Now it seems like he should be grateful to have found someone who will tolerate him and his strange habits. He recently revealed that he likes to pee outside practically everywhere, and as a mother of toddlers it sounds to me like he needs toilet training.
The Dude, Where’s My Car? funnyman admits he likes to join his dogs when they empty their bladders in the morning outside the home he shares with his wife Demi Moore.
And he blames his weird toilet habit on his desire to bond with the earth and feel like a “caveman”.
He says, “I pee outside, outside my house, in my yard. I usually start off my day by taking my dogs out. While they go, I go.
“That’s probably my least appealing habit. I just feel like I’m connecting with nature, I bond and feel like caveman. Man, tents, cave, pee, bush.”
The tabloids have been speculating that Demi Moore would like to have a baby with husband Ashton, but I think they’re wrong – after three girls, she must be terrified of having a boy that takes as long to get out of nappies as his father.
She might also be worried that the child inherits its father’s webbed feet.
The What Happens in Vegas star took his socks and shoes off on Friday Night With Jonathon Ross to confirm he has abnormal toes.
He said: “I have slightly webbed toes. When everything else is this good-looking, something has to give!”
Actually, everybody starts out with webbed toes in utero and they come apart as the baby develops, so its very common to have webbed feet, but I don’t really feel like cutting Ashton any slack today.
Last month he revealed his first sexual experience was awful.
He said: ‘It was out in the woods and it was horrible. It was a girl I’d just met who my buddy set me up with. The whole thing lasted like two seconds. It was really awkward. Two years later, I had sex with her again just to show her that the first performance was a fluke and I’d got much better.’
Okay, so that little revelation refers to a time in the distant past, and we can only assume that he has improved sexually. Why else would Demi put up with his creepy webbed toes and antisocial toileting habits?
Just in case you weren’t sure that he is indeed not a desirable man, here’s a little article he wrote for Harper’s Bazaar, where he manages to come off like a total dick in his list of things that make a woman attractive. Here’s a snippet: “Women who wear big blingin’ stones don’t look like they have a lot of money; they look like they have a lot of someone else’s money.”
Ashton, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but women earn their own money now, some of them even get paid more than men.
Demi Moore was on David Letterman last night and she joked around about receiving leech therapy treatment in Austria. She was cracking up about it, but she actually sounded like she believed in it and thinks it works. She also tried to get Dave to try it. Here’s a rough transcript. Dave’s comments are in bold.
You were in Austria?
I’m always…looking for the cutting edge on things that are for optimizing health and healing.
Just a week ago I was in Austria doing a cleanse and part of the treatments was leech therapy.
These aren’t just like swamp leeches, we’re talking about highly trained medical leeches… [laughing]
I know thousands of years ago they were common
Bleeding was a very common thing… it detoxifies your blood and they have a little enzyme that when they’re biting down gets released into your blood, and generally you bleed for quite a bit, and your health is optimized. It detoxifies the blood. I’m feeling very detoxified right now.
Is it the enzyme is that what’s critical?
They start in a spot for me that is a horrible spot, which is my belly button. They test it out. They are in a little jar with water and glass and they pull it out and they have to stick it in my belly button.
Where does this take place? At a hotel? At a clinic?
In this woman’s house and I’m laying on a bed.
And she says “we’re going to apply the leeches?”
Yes they do the little sampler first which is in the belly button and it crawls in. And you feel it bite down on you and you want to go “you bastard!” and then you relax and work on your lamaze breathing, and you watch it swell up and get fatter and fatter. And then when it’s super drunk on your blood it just kind of rolls over like it’s stumbling out of the bar.
Are you sure it’s not menopause?
No, but I was going to recommend this for your tic.
You have to do a turpentine bath first.
Did you feel better after the leech deal?
You first feel worse, then you feel better.
You’re not going back?
I am going back, because I only got 4 leeches and I feel a little cheated.
Clinically speaking how can we prove that you are more healthy after the leeches?
By a blood test. They can see the levels in your blood, if you’re anemic… they release in their enzyme heparin, which is a natural blood thinner.
[Transcribed from Demi Moore’s appearance on The Late Show, 3/24/08]
I’ve done acupuncture, colonics, moxibustion, which was when my Chinese doctor applied heat to the acupuncture, and hypnotherapy. About once a month I go to these awesome saunas they have here in Germany. They have the most amazing spas with saunas of different temperatures, some with music, relaxing lights, and scented oil. Now that’s relaxing and detoxifying. It’s also very affordable compared to a traditional spa treatment. I’ve haven’t heard of leech therapy specifically for detoxification, and there’s no way I would ever put leeches on any part of my body without being convinced to do for medical reasons by a qualified physician.
The way Moore tells this story about getting leeches put on in some woman’s house brings out the cynic in me. It also sounds gross. Maybe there’s something to it, though.
Medicinal leeches are making a comeback and I remember hearing a story about it a couple of years ago. The leech does have legitimate medical applications. Leeches can help with circulation and are useful in certain surgeries as they can improve blood flow to a specific site, such as when a finger or limb is lost and needs to be reattached. Leeches have one specific modern day application that Moore may have found beneficial. According to Wikipedia, leeches can “relieve venous pressure from pooling blood, especially after plastic surgery.”
Moore was promoting her new heist film Flawless with Michael Caine, with whom she starred in Blame it On Rio. She said that at 75 Caine is still on top of his game, but that all he wants to do is get his work done so he can go out to the best restaurants afterwards.
Here’s a clip of Moore explaining about the leeches:
And Moore’s full interview (there are slight spoilers in the second half)
Demi Moore on The Late Show, 3/24/08, Part 1
Demi Moore on The Late Show, 3/24/08, Part 2
Demi Moore, her 14 year-old daughter, Tallulah, and her ex husband Bruce Willis and his girlfriend are shown at a screening of Flawless last night, thanks to WENN.
Vanity Fair canceled their Oscar party a month ago. This was a huge deal in Hollywood, as that party was THE party of the Oscars. It was very “seen and be seen.” Say that in a snooty voice and you get the picture. If you spent too much time at any other party, you weren’t someone to be bothered with. Vanity Fair did this for two reasons, one official, and one not so much. The official spiel was that they were doing it in solidarity with the (then) striking writers. The unofficial reason was that everyone assumed the Oscars would either be canceled, announced in a press conference format, or held in the usual way but without writers so it would really, really suck. And though the writers are back, the party is still canceled. So what will our dear celebs do to keep themselves entertained and pleasantly drunk? Well luckily Madonna and Prince are hosting competing parties that are supposedly very A-list. Talk about a battle of the divas.
One contender to fill this black-tie social vacuum is the party Madonna, her manager Guy Oseary and Demi Moore have put together at the last minute.
Whether this affair becomes an annual event hasn’t been decided.
The party, to be held in a home in the Westside hills, will begin around 9 p.m. A few hundred people are invited, although this number will probably expand. One person who’s seen the guest list said, “Everybody’s on it. It gives the A-list Vanity Fair crowd someplace to go to. It will probably be pared down to where it’s 85% talent, not a lot of suits.”
But even if this party skims off some of the celebrity cream, the Governors Ball will still be the major draw. “It’s the biggest game in town,” said one exec. “This is going to put the glamour back into the ball.”
But just in case you’re not a fan of Madonna or Demi, there’s always Prince’s backup party. Though something tells me if you don’t like Madge, you probably don’t like Prince either. No word on the dress for the event, though I’m guessing it’s something hokey like “Purple Tie.”
The diminutive divo has quietly cornered the market on exclusive awards parties. One source familiar with the RSVP list says names include “Katie and Tom, Will Smith, Salma and Penelope.”
While previous parties have been held in hotel suites, this year’s will take place at Prince’s new home in Benedict Canyon. But not everyone has scored a golden ticket.
Leven Rambin gushed at the W magazine party at Sunset Tower that she had just been invited. (And for more on her controversial new role in “Lipstick Jungle,” check out my Oscars blog.)
But across town at the Beverly Hills Hotel, where Academy Award nominee Ruby Dee was being honored by Black Enterprise magazine, the party was news to her.
Oooohh, the drama! How can everyone’s party really be the most exclusive? Everyone claims they’re only inviting the A-list, yet there’s hundreds of people coming – they can’t all be A. Somehow Tara Reid always ends up at one of those things, which instantly demotes the whole fiesta down to C-list. In other (happy) Oscar news, Paris Hilton has been banned this year, as confirmed by multiple media outlets. Supposedly she “cried hot, salty tears” according to an oft-quoted source. Doesn’t that just make you feel like all is right with the world?
I have been consistently impressed by the relationship between Demi Moore, new husband Ashton Kutcher and ex-husband Bruce Willis. Though you hear a lot of unpleasant things about Moore, you can’t argue that she’s been pretty mature about her divorce and friendship with Bruce. Some people have said they just do it for the kids, like that’s a bad thing. How in the world could it be a negative to keep up a friendly relationship with your kids’ other parent? Bruce and Demi are occasionally spotted out having lunch together, so it seems like they are genuinely cool with each other.
This weekend Demi had a birthday party for Ashton’s 29th, and keeping to form, the whole family was invited - Bruce included.
Ashton Kutcher’s 29th birthday party was nothing if not unconventional.
The Punk’d star rang in the occasion with his wife 45-year-old wife Demi Moore - and her ex husband Bruce Willis.
The unlikely trio dined at a LA restaurant on Saturday, along with Demi and Bruce’s children Rumer, 19, Scout, 16, and 13-year-old Tallulah Belle.
Far from being uncomfortable, Ashton and Bruce, 52, appeared to revel in each other’s company and even indulged in a moment of playful wrestling.
Demi recently commented on the transition the entire family went through when she and Ashton got married. She was incredibly generous in her descriptions of what everyone went through. “It wasn’t a piece of cake. It wasn’t automatic or easy. It took diligence and effort and even enduring awkwardness, and a lot of general giving on my part and Bruce’s part. And really, tremendously, on Ashton’s part.” Though their family unit is certainly unconventional, can you imagine how much better a lot of divorced kids would feel if their parents had been that cool with each other? Though Bruce and Demi’s daughter Rumer gets a lot of crap for her appearance, you generally don’t hear about their daughters much in the media. And frankly if any celebuspawn of parents that famous were misbehaving, you know the paparazzi would be all over it. It shows that being decent to each other can only do good.
Picture Note by JayBird: Here’s the family (minus Scout LaRue) at the Live Free or Die Hard premiere. Images thanks to PR Photos.
Unlike the Funny or Die videos, which have a point and are usually actually funny, this Christmas video from Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore isn’t funny or even mildly amusing. In fact I just watched the whole Alvin and The Chipmunks movie with my kid and found that drivel easier to sit through than five minutes of this annoying video. This movie includes a lot of swearing that isn’t necessary or well placed, there’s a gratuitous sex scene with Ashton and Demi, and the entire plot, loosely based on the writer’s strike with a Christmas theme, makes no sense.
So Santa has to take a temp job when the elves strike, hits bottom after the death of frosty the snowman, writes a screenplay and then is on top again? It makes no sense and when you factor in Ashton’s obnoxious acting it’s just painful to sit through.
This is coming from the guy who brought us Punk’d, which had its moments, so you would expect him to be able to create a short clip for the web that’s worth the time it takes to watch it. This reminds us why the real writers need to get paid. Maybe that’s why Demi and Ashton made this video, to remind us that we’re in for months of completely worthless junk like this if the WGA doesn’t get a fair deal.
Who would ever have thought Demi Moore was the supportive, maternal type? I know she has kids, but she seems more the type to hatch them in a lab than actually grow them in her womb. But apparently Demi is not just maternal, but a super-wonderful birthing coach. To Soleil Moon Frye. Yeah, Punky Brewster. That seems random, right? Every so often “People” will do some story about how such and such actress is best friends with this other actress and has been for ten years, even though you’ve never once heard them mention the other. Apparently Demi Moore and Soleil Moon Frye are BFF, and Demi was Soleil’s birthing coach during the delivery of her first child. And know that Soleil is about to have her second, she’s hoping Demi’s still on board.
When Soleil Moon Frye delivers her second child, she may once again have a comforting – and famous – friend at her side: Demi Moore. “This one,” Frye, 31, told PEOPLE on Thursday, pointing to Moore at the grand opening of Frye’s eco-friendly baby boutique The Little Seed, “she’s the queen mama. She’s the most incredible mom.”
But Moore, 45, who was there with Frye when the Punky Brewster star gave birth to her daughter two years ago, says Frye “is doing just fine.” And will Moore, a mother of three, return to the delivery room for Frye next year? “I hope so!” Moore told PEOPLE. “We got to keep the team together.”
“Are you kidding?” chimes in Frye, “She’s the best birthing coach in the entire universe.”
That’s just very, very random. It’s like finding out Rosanne and Hilary Duff are best friends. Apparently the two met when Frye’s husband, Jason Goldberg, produced “Punk’d” – the classy, sophisticated show hosted by Ashton Kutcher. And the bond must have pretty tight, to let Demi Moore into the room when you’re pushing humans out of you. Somehow Demi’s presence seems about as comforting and reassuring as having a ten-foot-tall praying mantis in the room, screaming “Push, damn it, or I will snap your head off with my claws!” I have no idea of praying mantises do that, but I’m pretty sure that a Demi Moore/praying mantis hybrid would. And then she would bring you a lovely bassinet from Petit Tresor, because let’s face it, she’s still Demi Moore and must hand out a decent amount of swag to get people to tolerate her.
Picture note by Celebitchy: Soleil Moon Frye is shown at the Environmental Media Awards on 10/24/2007. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are shown at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino Grand Opening on 11/17/07. Thanks to PRPhotos.
Today in delusional celebrities: Rumer Willis thinks she’s famous. And her fame is a big responsibility. According to her. The girl best known for looking a lot more like her father than her mother dropped out of college last year and has since become an actress. I think when your parents are Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, you can in fact become an actress in under six months time. None of Rumor’s movies have come out yet, so calling herself an actress is a bit of a stretch. But the Moore/Willis clan has always been known for their hubris. So far it seems Rumer is still most famous for being the kid of someone famous – not exactly time to phone the editors at People to tell them your tips for handling fame. But common sense never got in the way of self-promotion.
Rumer Willis is ready to accept the ’round-the-clock responsibility of being famous. Presented over the weekend with a Rumer Willis Polly Pocket Doll – which she helped auction off for $5,500 to charity – at the Children Affected by AIDS Foundation’s annual Dream Halloween benefit in Santa Monica, Calif., the 19-year-old (and eldest) daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, joked, “I feel like I’m really famous now.”
But when it really comes to the fame game, Willis – who has become a gossip-blog fixture in recent months – tells PEOPLE, “Before I started working, I would have said, ‘You know, it’s not really fair, because I didn’t choose this.’ But when you decide to be a part of this profession and put yourself out there, then you kind of have to accept what it is.” Willis says that her famous parents – including stepdad Ashton Kutcher – aren’t worried about her, even though being a celebrity means having a very public life. “I think they know that I’ve had great role models,” she said.
Still, notoriety does offer its obstacles. “It’s a 24-hour job,” she says. “It doesn’t matter if you are going out to a restaurant – you have to be aware of what you are doing and how you look and how you are presenting yourself, because most of the time people never get to know you.” But at its heart, she says of celebrity, “Being famous isn’t going to parties … it’s about being able to use the power that we all have to kind of give back.”
Giving back? When was the last time that family was known to give anything back? I haven’t really heard one way or the other about Bruce, but for the last fifteen years I’ve heard how completely rude Demi Moore is to fans and people in general. There’ve been reports of her snapping at customers in restaurants who she thought were looking at her (God forbid). The kids are supposedly spoiled and rude too, though I’ve heard Ashton is remarkably polite. If so, it must be pretty embarrassing to be seen with this clan. I’m guessing all the middle-aged sex and Demi’s great knees make up for it though.
Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Rumer at the 14th Annual Dream Halloween Fundraiser for the Children Affected by AIDS Foundation on October 27th. Image thanks to PR Photos.
Quite often an actress will take their husband’s name privately, if not professionally, when they get married. It happens less often that an actress takes her partner’s name two years after their wedding has taken place.
Demi Moore married Ashton Kutcher in 2005. But she’s just getting around to officially taking his name on her driving licence and credit cards.
A source told In Touch magazine, “Demi did this for Ashton. She knew that this was something he wanted, so she finally made the switch.”
That means Demi will be Mrs Kutcher on her black American Express card, her passport and other documents, but in her working career, she’ll keep her name from her first marriage to Freddie Moore.
Demi’s birth name is actually Demetria Gene Guynes, not quite as catchy as Demi Moore on a movie poster.
Demi Moore is the name the actress will be using when working, although she recently complained that at her age (44-years-old, in case you were wondering) there are no good roles for women.
Demi said in an interview with Red magazine: “It’s been a challenging few years, being the age I am, with so much focus now on how I look. Almost to the point where I felt like, well, they don’t know what to do with me. I’m not 20. Not 30.”
“But I’m certainly different from what most people feel someone in her 40s should be. For many female actors, who turn 40, it means the end of their career, it’s time to retire. There aren’t that many good roles for women over 40. A lot of them don’t have much substance, other than being someone’s mother or wife. If we are told we are not valuable once we hit 30, it is a problem. We all have more to give. We just can’t bend over and wait for something to happen.”
Demi, you are approaching the half-century mark. Don’t go looking for those roles for 20-30 year old women, you can’t compete. Dare I suggest you were never that much of an actress to begin with? There are at least a fair amount of roles for older women, but the roles for older women trying to look 25? Maybe you shouldn’t have spent the rumored $500,000 on plastic surgery, and instead asked your surgeon to make you more like Helen Mirren.
Note by Celebitchy: I think Helen is being kind of harsh to Demi. She has a good point that there aren’t a lot of roles for older women, and that there is ageism in Hollywood. JayBird suggested in a post about that issue that Demi start her own production company and make her own roles.
Demi is shown at New York Fashion Week on September 6th in Bryant Park. Images thanks to PR Photos.
Demi Moore says Hollywood just doesn’t know what to do with her. She’s sexy, pretty, and 44 - oh the confusion! Moore essentially says she’s a lot hotter than most women in their forties, and that’s confusing. Demi is another one of those celebrities I don’t like but can’t explain why, but I can’t argue with her. She does look great for any age. But most of us would, if we’d had half a million dollars to spend on our looks.
“‘It’s been a challenging few years, being the age I am, with so much focus now on how I look. Almost to the point where I felt like, well, they don’t know what to do with me. I’m not 20. Not 30. But I’m certainly different from what most people feel someone in her forties should be…For many female actors, who turn 40, it means the end of their career, it’s time to retire. There aren’t that many good roles for women over 40. A lot of them don’t have much substance, other than being someone’s mother or wife. If we are told we are not valuable once we hit 30, it is a problem. We all have more to give. We can’t just bend over and wait for something to happen. We have to say, ‘I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more.’”
Um, okay. I think that line is reserved for great injustices, not for when you spend a ton of money on plastic surgery and still can’t get a good part. A lot of older actors complain about the ageism in Hollywood, and it’s a legitimate complaint. But instead of just bitching, why not actually do something about it? Someone in Demi Moore’s position is more than capable of financing their own projects. Why not do that once in a while? Lots of actors have their own production companies so they can make the films they want made – why not do that, and prove Hollywood wrong by producing your own movies with great roles for women over 40? I’m sure I’m being simplistic here, but the constant bitching doesn’t seem to be creating more good roles.
Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Demi at New York Fashion Week on September 6th in Bryant Park. Images thanks to PR Photos.
You can visit Micah’s website at MicahMcCain.com. 
