I think I might have blacked out at various points in last night’s Golden Globes telecast, because how is that Jon Hamm and Ewan McGregor were in the same space and there wasn’t a camera on them at all times? I wish producers would realize that it’s always nice to cut to a hot guy. Even if ladies are going to throw shade at the hot guy’s partner.

So here are my two picks for hottest dudes of Globes. The Hamm Dong is obvious, of course, because he always gets included, even when he doesn’t look particularly good or bad. Jennifer wore Naeem Khan, which I actually love. Imagine if Jessica Chastain had worn this dress…? Right? That would have been stunning. Instead, Jennifer wore it and she looks okay (if you ignore what’s going on with her face, which is way worse than Nicole Kidman’s stuff). I think it’s interesting that Mad Men was shut out once again – I believe the Hollywood Foreign Press “punished” the show for this past season because of the Megan Draper storyline. While the show still packs some gut-punches, it does seem to have waning enthusiasm.

But dear God… Ewan McGregor looks fantastic, doesn’t he? I could eat him for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Dear God. Evie looks kind of over it, but I don’t think this is her scene at all.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Apart from maybe Lucy Lui’s Gone with The Wind disaster, Halle Berry was just about the only Globes attendee wearing a printed dress last night. She was in a celestial print pastel one-shoulder draped Atelier Versace. The bustline made it look like one of her boobs was hanging lower than the other. In true Halle form, she showed off some of her enviable stomach through this dress. So did Halle pull it off? I’ll be damned if she did. Halle loves her 90s fashion and she’s about the only woman who seems to consistently rock it with style. Halle looks gorgeous and offbeat here. She was true to form. Still, this was not occasion appropriate, but what the hell does Halle care? She just wants to look hot. Also, Halle’s eyes look different, don’t they?

This post is somewhat dedicated to the leg-flashers, the women who stuck their legs out, Jolie-style, through the high slit in their gowns. The more time that passes, the more I realize that Jolie was somewhat of a trailblazer for this trend and that we should reserve our mocking for those who follow it blindly. Like I doubt any of these women did this as a joke, particularly Eva Longoria here who is straining to show as much thigh as possible. Look at her caterpillar eyelashes and her Bride of Frankenstein poof. Eva thinks she’s super hot in this black lace dress with slits everywhere. This mess of a dress is custom Emilio Pucci.

Heidi Klum was in her latest go-to designer, Alexandre Vauthier. For Heidi, this tight, high slit gown isn’t bad. For anyone else it’s been done before and it’s not that interesting. Also check out how orange Heidi is.

Also very orange and try-hard is Lea Michele. We just saw her very pap-friendly vacation with her boyfriend, Corey Monteith, so some of this radioactive glow is probably natural, but it looked pretty fake to me on screen. Lea was in Elie Saab. It’s not a bad dress, but she bugs me so much I have a hard time admiring her fashion. Did anyone else get annoyed by the constant L’oreal haircare commercials featuring Lea that aired during the breaks?

And finally Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in black Saint Laurent. This is probably some high fashion gown that I’m not “getting,” but it just looks like a gothic mess to me, like something I would wear to an eighth grade ball and think was cool. I like the belt. I guess Rosie was there as Jason Statham’s date, so they must be going somewhat strong. We heard breakup rumors about these two just about a month ago.

Statham needs to shave that hot head of his. Hair is not a good look for him.

Photo credit: FameFlynet and PRPhotos

Let’s talk about Anne Hathaway. Sigh. During my coverage of Anne’s victory at the Critics Choice, I commented on the “Five Stages of Hathaway,” claiming that I was now at the fifth stage, love and acceptance. Yeah… last night she proved that she can still annoy the hell out of me. Her gaspy, wide-eyed little girl act grates on my last nerve, and all of you who claimed that she was going to pull “The Natalie Portman Method” were dead-on. It seemed very much like Portman’s awards run two years ago. Here’s Annie’s speech (bonus Jonah Hill & Megan Fox, who were actually really funny together):

As for the fashion and stuff, Annie wore Chanel. I like this dress a lot in photos, but it was something different in motion. In motion, you could see how loose the top was, and it was disconcerting. It made me wonder if Anne is pregnant, or if she wants us to speculate that she’s pregnant. Or maybe she just wanted it loose to remind us of how much weight she lost for her Les Miserables role. Anyway… the Chanel was fine. White was a typical color choice, and I hope Anne goes bolder for the rest of the awards season. She kept everything else really simple – simple makeup, simple hair. It was okay.

Anne also gasped and aw-shucked her way to the mic to shout-out more thank-yous when Les Mis won Best Musical/Comedy:

I’m adding bonus Helena Bonham Carter! She’s fantastic, but this Dolce & Gabbana dress is… ugh.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

I know I’m a bitch for doing this, but here goes – a post devoted to the two big contenders for Best Song, Taylor Swift and Adele. I’ll admit that I laughed with pleasure when Adele won for “Skyfall” (because that’s a beautiful song and it’s going to win her an Oscar too), and then I laughed with schadenfreude when the cameras cut to Taylor Swift’s ungracious loser-face. Swifty was actually kind of pissed off that she didn’t win!! Hahaha. Instead, we were gifted with Adele’s magnificence and hilarity – she thought she might win, but she didn’t take the whole ordeal so seriously, you know? She got a high-five from Daniel Craig (and she gave him a shout-out during her speech!) and she just sounded like she was having a great time.

As for Swifty, the night got even worse when after she LOST (and she NEVER loses!!!), Amy and Tina made a joke at her expense. They told her not to go for Michael J. Fox’s son Sam (Sam was Mr. Golden Globe), and Tina was like “No, she needs some Me Time to learn about herself.” As for why they didn’t cut to Swifty at that exact moment – Swifty said it herself in an interview months ago – “They don’t cut to you if you aren’t laughing.” HA.

As for the fashion – Adele wore the same kind of dress she always wears, a black dress with sleeves by Burberry. Her hair looked great, fabulous makeup and everything. She just seemed to be having an excellent night, and even though the look was simple, she shined.

Swifty wore this eggplant Donna Karan Atelier dress… and it was one of my favorite looks of the night, actually. It was a beautiful color on her, and she styled it beautifully. I LOVED her earrings and her hair. My one quibble: I think the fit was slightly off on the bust. It wasn’t as bad as Jessica Chastain or anything, but there seemed to be something “off” around the sides.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Just know: I was going to include more people into this post, but then I saw that Jennifer Lopez did a costume change in between the actual Golden Globes ceremony and the after-parties, and that made me stop and say: “Okay, let’s give her what she wants – the spotlight!” So here you go, a post devoted solely to Jennifer Lopez and her poor boy-toy, Casper Smart.

Casper is officially making it through his second awards season! Remember, he was J.Lo’s Oscar date last year, and God knows, she’ll probably be invited to present this year and Casper were be on the Oscar red carpet, rubbing elbows with Jessica Chastain and George Clooney. You’d think that he would have realized the situation by now: he better propose to her fast!! I can’t believe it hasn’t happened yet.

But what’s worse than seeing Casper on the red carpet of the Golden Globes is seeing Jennifer Lopez’s try-hard. Sure, she had a few good moments – like her little bit with Tina Fey, which was super-cute. But mostly it felt like… “Ugh, Jennifer Lopez is trying to get attention.” Maybe it was about Ben Affleck, her ex- lover? I honestly forgot about the Bennifer 1.0 Drama because there should have been more cutaways to J.Lo whenever Ben was mentioned. Then again, I don’t think Jennifer harbors any ill-will towards Ben –he’s the one ashamed of HER, not vice-versa.

Anyway, about the fashion… Jennifer’s wife gown is Zuhair Murad, a label which is increasingly taking cues from Marchesa in The Fug Department. I absolutely hated this gown. I did like the black gown she wore at the after-party, although she looks sort of like a zombie – super-tired, right?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

After a three-year run as Golden Globes host, Ricky Gervais finally passed the torch to two of the loveliest, funniest ladies in the world, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. We previewed their hosting duties yesterday in the Open Post, and they totally killed it last night – I laughed whenever they were on stage! Here’s their open monologue:

I think the Kathryn Bigelow/James Cameron got the most laughter/groans, but the whole thing was just hilarious. Love the Ben Affleck “You’re not betta than me” Boston joke. Love the “None of us has PLANS to do p0rn” joke. Also: “Quentin Tarantino is here tonight, he stars in all of my sexual nightmares.”

I think the best part of Amy and Tina’s hosting duties was that they weren’t omnipresent – about an hour into the show, I was like “Damn, where are they? I want them to come back and do a bit!” They made you miss them when they weren’t on stage. But I did love the little one-off jokes they sprinkled throughout the show, like after Bill Clinton introduced the clip from Lincoln, and Amy came out and said “OMG, that was Hillary Clinton’s husband!!!” And I loved when Amy and Tina were out in the audience for Best Actress in a Comedy Series – Tina and Jennifer Lopez clutching hands while Amy sat on George Clooney’s lap with a nice cocktail. What’s it going to take for Amy and Clooney to work together, amirite?

Basically, Amy and Tina ROCKED. I hope they get invited back next year to host! Or even better, I hope they get invited to host the Oscars next year!

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

I was sitting here, debating with myself as to when I should cover Jessica Chastain’s Golden Globes appearance last night. Like, I wanted to put it off because Jessica has begun to bring up some severely mixed feelings for me. I saw Zero Dark Thirty this weekend, and while she was great in the role, and I really liked the movie overall, I’m still not sure if I think she should sweep all of the awards for Best Actress. I respect her talent and everything… but I’m still not sure if she gave that kind of performance. And then there’s the other stuff too… like, she still doesn’t know how to do all of the extra stuff, like dress like the leading contender for the Best Actress Oscar.

Jessica wore this Calvin Klein gown which… OMG. Let me just say one nice thing before I completely lose my mind: it was a pretty color on her. The color made her beautiful ginger hair stand out. But this dress was a total g—damn disaster. It added about 20 pounds to her, all in the breast and midsection. Jessica has a lovely small bust, and her girls are perky… but you wouldn’t know it from this disaster of a gown. It made her boobs look like they were at her waist. The cut was definitely off, but this is just a really poorly designed gown overall. Like, it aimed to be a pageant gown AND IT COULDN’T EVEN PULL IT OFF.

Add to that… Jessica hair style was doing her no favors either. She has that beautiful red hair, and it looks healthy and long and like she has a natural wave to it… and she doesn’t really know what to do with it. So she just got out the AquaNet and sprayed the hell out of the sides…?

One more nice thing – I did like Jessica’s speech:

I’m also adding Lucy Liu in Carolina Herrera, because Lucy was one of my other Worst Dressed of the evening. It was just… overkill. It was too big, too much, too fug for a TV actress who was only there as a presenter. It was too “Look at me!!” And beyond that, the fabric was just hideous.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Here are some of the biggest couples of the Golden Globes… where to start? Let’s start with the couple that I was most looking forward to, and who were the biggest disappointments: Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig. As soon as they arrived, I could only see them from the shoulders up, and I thought, “Ahhh… HOTTEST COUPLE.” But no. Rachel’s Louis Vuitton dress is just… just… NO. It’s awful. It’s not flattering or attractive or occasion-appropriate! Rachel is such a beautiful woman, and if we were just judging this from the shoulder up, she would win everything. But this dress is such a NO. I did like that she and Daniel walked the carpet together, hand-in-hand, arm-in-arm. It’s nice to see them at an awards show.

Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber – she wore Zac Posen. I actually LOVED this from the back and I only want to make out with it a little bit from the front. The back was open and sexy and stunning. The fit on this dress was incredible too – she really took the time to have it fitted perfectly.

Bonus Hugh Jackman and his wife Deb. LOVE THEM. And they know how to do a red carpet too. They just seem so connected and lovely together.

Nicole Kidman wore Alexander McQueen… it wasn’t my favorite but it was inoffensive. She looked so tiny. Her waist is crazy. My favorite part of Nic’s look was her big hair – I love it when she does big, fluffy, sexy diva hair. Now, I absolutely hate Keith’s insistence on perfectly maintained and totally ‘90s highlights. His hair looked awful in closeup. As for her face… it didn’t look quite as crazy as it did at the pre-Globe events.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Jennifer Garner went unconventional for the Golden Globes red carpet. My prediction (which I made to myself, because whenever I talk about Garner, people yell at me) was that she would look nice but she would go super-conservative so as to not overshadow her man. But she went much bolder than I was expecting with this red Vivienne Westwood gown. I love Westwood, and I like the idea of this on Jennifer, although I think the fit was off slightly on the top. But the skirt moved beautifully when she was onstage, didn’t it? And she got lots of PDA from her husband, which… good for her. He’s usually so surly when he’s around her, so it was nice to see her get some public love from Ben.

Amanda Seyfried wore Givenchy. I hated it on general principle, because I hate lace dresses on a red carpet. It was bridal-fug. And I didn’t understand why she wore a tie-clip on her chest…?

When Kristen Wiig was doing the awards circuit last year, a lot of complained that she hadn’t really found her style identity yet, and she swayed back and forth from glam to goth to hipster and everything in-between. It looks like she might have settled on a look at this point – as a carbon-copy of Jennifer Aniston. Seriously, I thought this WAS Aniston. Same hairstyle (bedheady, down, perfectly arranged to look unarranged), same kind of dress that Aniston always wears (black, minimalist, with cut-outs). It was ridiculous. Her dress is Michael Kors, by the way. It’s just… basic. Total Aniston. Also: her presenter-duty with Will Ferrell was GREAT.

Was it just me or was Kate Hudson, like, a non-entity on the red carpet last night? Barely anyone is talking about her today and it’s like she wasn’t even there, which never happens! Maybe after years of going to the opening of an envelope, Kate has finally worn out her welcome? Hunh. Anyway, her dress was Alexander McQueen. I wasn’t crazy about it.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

I’m aware that some people really didn’t like Claire Danes’ whole Golden Globes look last night. Like, you were expecting her to do the teenage-princess thing in a soft Calvin Klein look, or you wanted her sleek and minimalist, like she normally does. But if you saw her red carpet interviews, you know. Chica is STRUNG OUT. She only gave birth a month ago, and she has that look of a completely overwhelmed new parent. She probably felt like this was all a very lucid, vivid living nightmare because she’s so sleep-deprived. So I applaud her for changing things up and doing an unexpected (and not unwelcome) look.

Claire wore this red Versace gown that emphasized her new-mom boobs and her postpartum weight loss. Her hair was long and fluffy and all over the place. She didn’t seem “contained” or “together”. She was worried about “leaking” on the red carpet, and she said so to Ryan Seacrest. So… I kind of love her. Head to toe. I think if you take into account how strung out she was, this appearance was a complete and total victory. Her sheer exhaustion made her likeable and interesting, and I like that this wasn’t some super-pulled-together look, because she’s done that so many times before.

Claire won too, as did Damian Lewis. Homeland won Best Drama, meaning that it swept the major categories again, just like at the Emmys last year. Homeland is the new Mad Men (only Homeland gets all of the acting awards too!). I’m including some pics of Damian and his wife Helen, as well as his on-screen wife Morena Baccarin in a particularly hideous Valentino.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.