My imaginary lover, Joel McHale, is doing the talk show circuit to promote the fourth season premiere of Community. It’s on tonight at 8pm on NBC and as I mentioned yesterday, I have not been paid or even mildly encouraged to promote the show. (A PR person from Hulu did send us something on Community so I’ll shoot them a link of thanks, but it’s not like NBC is trying much.) Joel, on the other hand, is busting his cute butt and I’m enjoying seeing so much of it/him. He was on The Late Show last night, where he told some funny self-deprecating stories about how dangerous his childhood was. (You can watch that video here. Joel comes on at 20 minutes in.) As for Community’s fate, Joel explained that it’s going to air finally but will not seem topical considering that there are several holiday episodes that will be shown much too late:

On how Community got shafted by NBC
There was talk us going 26 episodes but we did 13. We were supposed to start on October 19th but they pushed it to February 7th, so our Halloween episode is going to be awesome, and wait till we roll out Thanksgiving and Christmas.

[From The Late Show]

Joel went on to explain some of the more bizarre plot points they’ve covered, like the two paintgun war episodes, the secret trampoline guarded by a former Nazi, the monkey in the air ducts and the puppy parade. That show is so incredible and clever, and my favorite episode remains the video game one, Digital Estate Planning. (“Troy and Abed shooting lava!“)

On the Late Show, Joel didn’t cover much that was controversial – he didn’t even mention that the air duct monkey is named “Annie’s Boobs”! I guess he figured that would be too obscure for a wider audience. On Howard Stern he let loose a little, though, and gave some insider information on how Chevy Chase left the show, after having dropped the N Word in protest of his character’s racism. We already heard all about that when it happened, but it was interesting to get Joel’s take:

On Chevy Chase leaving the show
He didn’t want to be there.

When I would try to [talk to Chevy] he would just try to fight me. He physically wanted to fight me.

On Chevy using the N word
You shouldn’t just be throwing that around… It was one of those things on set where he used it. When he said it I was like “we are now at defcon 1.”

He was protesting his character’s racism. He didn’t like the way that his character Pierce was going.

He had also said in the past, he said that Richard Pryor said it was ok for him to call him that. He literally, he used that!

[From Video on Howard Stern's site]

So Chevy Chase used the N word because Richard Prior, who died about seven years ago, told him that it was ok for him to call him that. He is so out of touch. Anyway I’m not sure if Chevy is even going to be on this season, I assume he is for a few episodes at least as they’ve long since wrapped filming. This is likely the end for Community, considering that they’ve also canned their show runner (who was incidentally in a public spat with Chevy as well). I’ll enjoy every episode and I’ll also watch the hell out of Joel McHale during his press circuit. He looks so sexy in this clip from Howard Stern (below), just chilling on the couch in all black with those kick ass boots. Oh and Joel is going to be on The View this morning too! I’ll be sure to watch it.

Joel and his lucky wife at a SAG party:

Photo credit: WENN.com

Russell Brand is suddenly all over the place at once to promote the second season of his “BrandX” show, which premieres on Friday on FX. Since I’m a bit of a Russell junkie (an odd choice of words, I realize), I tried the show out for size, and it was passable but not something that I’d catch every week. Essentially, it’s a very topical program that probably won’t hold much relevance over time because Russell’s basing the episodes largely on current events; but Russell is quite charming, gives decent stand-up intros during each show, and interacts quite lustily with his audience members. It will be interesting to see how long the show will last, and I am happy that Rusty is finally finding a niche in Hollywood beyond Judd Apatow films. Because, you know, Apatow won’t be around forever.

In the interest of promotion, Russell hit Howard Stern’s show (here’s a video clip), and of course, Howard brought up the short-lived marriage to Katy Perry (because that’s what Howard does) by saying “I knew you’d never stay married.” Then Stern asked what Russell thought of Katy dating John Mayer: “Doesn’t she know that he’s a worse womanizer than you?” Russell’s response? “Worse or better, depending on how you view it,” and then Stern countered with “He’s a better womanizer, then.” Naturally, Rusty took it all in stride with a “Hold on, I resent that! I’m world class!” Then Russell admitted that he’s not dating anyone right now, and he took great care to deny the supposed rumors that he’s been banging Demi Moore. Wait … there were rumors?

Russell also stopped by Jimmy Fallon’s show, and in doing so, he hit on fellow guest Katherine McPhee by making her sit on his lap. She handled his advances quite well, but Russell eventually relented and moved over to the next seat with a sly, “I’ll just be here…with my sexual charisma.” A few moments later, Katherine made a pointed mention of her husband, and then Rusty good-naturedly made a show of leaving the stage to avoid future ill-advised flirtation. I am almost certain this was planned beforehand for Rusty to poke fun at his own reputation, but here’s the video in case you want to judge for yourself:

In addition to the jovial business referenced above, Russell is gearing up to host a Comic Relief special (at Wembley Arena in March) to raise awareness and money for addiction treatment. We’ve already heard a lot from Russell on his beliefs concerning drug, alcohol, and other addictions when he eloquently testified in front of Parliament in an effort to classify addiction as a medical condition instead of mainly as a criminal offense. Russell believes that punishment does not deter addicts because it doesn’t treat the underlying psychological maladies, and he believes that methadone-type programs only serve as a crutch and replace one addiciton for another. In summation, Russell believes that addicts should be directed to abstinence-based programs if they are to have any hope for recovery. Given that Russell has now been clean for nine long years yet still admits he still fantasizes daily about doing drugs, it’s easy to understand why he believes it is a disease. Here are excerpts from his interview with the Guardian:

He thinks 1 in 10 are susceptible to addiction: “And if you have this condition, and I call it an illness, then drugs will address it really well, because they create a physical craving to accompany the psychological malady.” That doesn’t mean, he’s quick to clarify, that prohibition is the answer. “It’s not a moral or judgmental thing about drugs and alcohol; I don’t give a f–k if people drink or take drugs if they’ve got no drug or alcohol problem. But for those people who become a menace to society, and a pain in the arse to the people that love them, there is a solution. And that’s why I’m frustrated. ‘Cos the solution’s very, very obvious.”

He was tempted to destroy his career at the Olympics: “It’s kind of like a psychological vertigo — the knowledge that you can jump off an edge makes you want to do it a little bit. Like, what will happen to reality if I do that? Just in that moment, when I had that live mic in my hand, and I could say anything, and the knowledge that I could say anything to a billion viewers — and I think, oh my God, if I could do something like that, it would be almost just to watch the consequences — to see it all unfold. It interests me.”

It doesn’t matter what you think of him: “One of the things I’ve learned is not to live my life through others’ perspective on me, as it is irrelevant. My experience of being alive ain’t contingent — thank f–king God — on what people think of me. Now when you first get famous, there’s nothing more gratifying or exciting than reading that people like you. What one quickly — or in my case slowly — learns is that it’s irrelevant what other people think of you. It’s none of your business. Now of course I require a certain number of people to like me for my livelihood. But I’m beyond the point where I need to do a head count. All I care about now is having an intrinsic relationship with what I do, as a performer, that’s legitimate and real and authentic.”

He’s not being ironic about it either: “It’s not like I don’t care, in some super aloof cool way. It’s the same reason why I don’t go to nightclubs. Not because,” and he adopts a comic posh drawl, “‘Oh maa-an, this is so trash.’ No, because I know what it will do to me, I know what it will awaken in me and stir up. So I don’t look at newspapers no more. We’ve only got a short time here and I can spend my time stimulating my mind however I want. I can read whatever I want. I ain’t ever reading another copy of the Sun until I’ve read the complete works of Goethe.”

[From Guardian]

When Brand speaks of being tempted to self-sabotage his career while performing “I Am the Walrus” at the Olympic closing ceremony, I totally believe him. In fact, I was actually wondering if he was struggling with the urge to execute some well-timed pelvic thrusts while he stood atop that psychedelic van. Perhaps Brand can relive the moment and post the results on YouTube one day. I’d certainly watch.

Photos courtesy of WENN

Yesterday, Dustin Rowles at Pajiba had a great piece about the hatred/disgust of Lena Dunham and Girls – go here to read it. Considering that I’ve only watched a few episodes of the first season of Girls, I’m not qualified to bash Lena (at least according to Dustin). While I didn’t care for the episodes that I saw – I thought it was too insider-y, too “whiny over-privileged hipsters complaining about everything”, too… small. But I still don’t really get the enormous backlash unleashed against Lena and the show, except maybe that people should stop treating the show like it’s the future of comedy or that it’s the new big thing. It’s just a small TV show that doesn’t say much about anything.

One of the really unfortunate parts of the show’s success and the even bigger backlash to that success is that Lena Dunham has been overanalyzed and criticized to a ridiculous degree. She’s naked in the show a lot, and her body isn’t perfect, which she freely acknowledges. And? Why do people throw around the “fat” criticism so often with her, like they can’t believe HBO has the audacity to let a non-model-thin woman star in a TV show? Anyway, Howard Stern dropped an f-bomb (the “f” being “fat”) the other day, which didn’t surprise me in the least. What did surprise me? Howard kind of apologized for saying it and he praised Lena and said he was obsessed with her, and she called into his show. Now they’re BFFs or something.

Typically brash Howard Stern surprised both fans and critics alike by issuing a public apology to Lena Dunham on his radio show Monday, Jan. 14, so the Girls creator did what any gracious Hollywood starlet would do: She called in.

The 26-year-old director/actress/writer dropped a line during Stern’s SiriusXM Radio show Wednesday, Jan. 16, to reassure Stern that his comments were water under the bridge — and call him out on one comment in particular.

“I don’t even know where to begin with all of this,” an apologetic Stern began. “The reason I felt so awful was because when Perez Hilton wrote his article, he told half the story. …I started to compare you to Woody Allen … the whole thing came together for me.”

The shock jock, 59, continued with a declaration: “I realize: Not only am I addicted, but I totally get you… I’m in love with you and your character… I guess I just wanted to tell you I love you and I think you’re terrific.”

On Monday, Jan. 7, Stern caused an angry buzz online after he slammed both Dunham and her hit HBO show Girls.

“It’s a little fat girl who kinda looks like Jonah Hill and she keeps taking her clothes off and it kind of feels like rape. She seems — it’s like — I don’t want to see that,” he scoffed at the time.

Dunham admitted Wednesday that she first learned of his cruel comments after castmate Jemima Kirke, who is a huge fan of Stern’s show, tipped her off that the radio host was comparing her to the Superbad actor.

“I thought that was a good line, actually,” Stern chuckled, trying to make light of the situation.
Dunham responded gamely, but made sure to still get her point across.

But Stern wouldn’t take back his weight comments. “It’s not about apologizing, although I want to say I’m a fan of yours,”

“I’m not that fat, Howard,” she said. “I don’t mean to take major issue with you about this. I’m not super thin, but I’m thin for, like, Detroit.”

Stern agreed, explaining that he just meant that she often played up the “fat angle” on the show.

“You’re not obese or anything,” he allowed.

“Thank you. Another thing for my gravestone,” Dunham laughed, referring to comments she made on the Late Show last Thursday, Jan. 10. “Howard Stern says, ‘You’re not obese or anything.’”

[From Us Weekly]

That was a decent line from Lena – “I’m not super thin, but I’m thin for, like, Detroit.” Detroit people will probably be mad about that, though. When I think of overweight cities, Chicago and Philadelphia come to mind (all of those pizzas and cheese steaks) so we all over-generalize. But seriously, can you believe that Howard backtracked like this? And that he’s actually a big fan? Ugh. Anyway. I wish people would stop nitpicking this woman so much. You don’t have to love her or anything, but I don’t understand why so many people are obsessed with talking about her…?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

A little seven year-old from Philadelphia, who goes by “Mir Money,” performed a rap song on America’s Got Talent last night. Judges Howard Stern and Sharon Osbourne both buzzed little Mir when he was performing, which is what they’re supposed to do when performances aren’t up to par. When it came time for Stern to explain why he buzzed Mir he was very kind and nice about it, but Mir broke down and started crying anyway. Again, the kid is seven. Stern then went up on stage to comfort Mir, explaining that he wasn’t cut out for the job. Outlets are running this story like Stern made the kid cry, and he sort-of did but it wasn’t his fault. Here’s more, thanks to The La Times:

There were the memorable acts. Those included …

Mir Money, a 7-year-old rapper from Philadelphia who charmed everyone by admitting he was his favorite rapper and that, were he to win $1 million, he’d use it to take care of his family.

So when Stern and fellow judge Sharon Osbourne buzzed the adorable tyke and he dissolved into tears, well, we might all have been a bit shaken up. (“He’s only 7!” my outraged 6-year-old daughter exclaimed.)

Stern hightailed it onto the stage to offer comforting words and a hug. “I’ll fix everything. Let me fix everything,” he told us. “I’m so sorry,” he told the kid. “I don’t want to make you cry.”

“This job is too rough for me,” the shock jock said. “I don’t want to do it anymore … I’m not cut out for this.”

Stern, that softie, then voted to send the kid to Vegas, but Osbourne and third judge Howie Mandel proved to have thicker skin and a better grasp of the long-term effects. No, they said, explaining that they had no wish to prolong the wee rapper’s pain.

[From The LA Times]

I have a seven year-old son, and to me this is kind-of like sending your kids to do pageants. It’s not Howard Stern’s fault that this poor little boy was crying, it’s his parents. They’re thrusting their little kid in front of the world in a way that’s potentially devastating for them.

I also blame the producers of America’s Got Talent. They shouldn’t be letting kids on this show, unless they’re a part of a troupe and are not singled out. There should be a cut off age in which kids can compete alone, say 15 or so. (But that number is kind of arbitrary, I understand.) Either way, a kid of seven is not emotionally equipped to perform on a national talent show.

Over the weekend I was viewing Comcast on demand (not a plug, although if they want to comp my cable they’re welcome to) when I saw an ad for the new “America’s Got Talent” with Howard Stern. I actually got excited to see the show and tried to watch it on demand, but all they have are previews as it doesn’t come out until next Monday, May 14th. For the past few seasons they had Piers Morgan on the judging panel in the place that Howard has taken, and Piers was a buzzkill. He played the mean judge, but he came off as a humorless ass, in my opinion. Howard will tell it like it is and you know that he won’t mince words, and he won’t be mean for mean’s sake. I don’t listen to his show regularly, but from what I know about him he’ll bring some new energy to AGT. (That’s what they were touting in the ads, and I was sold I’ll admit.) I think he’ll boost ratings quite a bit too. That might not be enough for the show’s revenue, as a conservative group is urging advertisers to boycott America’s Got Talent now that Stern is on board. Here’s the story, thanks to TMZ:

The Parents Television Council is seething with anger over Howard Stern’s new gig on “America’s Got Talent” … so they fired off a scathing letter to ALL the show’s sponsors, threatening them to cut ties or face their wrath.

TMZ obtained a letter — written by the PTC — that was sent to a whopping 91 advertisers and commands them NOT to invest their millions with NBC’s tent-pole talent show … because they feel Howard Stern will corrupt America’s children with his provocative ways.

In the letter, PTC cites Stern’s violent and crude language as reasons to boycott the show, quoting his comments on former “American Idol” winner Fantasia Barrino: “Hey Fantasia, you’re not getting little boys hard. Nobody’s beating off to you. Little boys want boners. They want a Britney Spears or a Rihanna.”

The PTC blasts Stern’s talent-judging qualifications — saying he’s only an expert at “looking at insecure, naked young women and telling them whether or not they were hot enough to pose for Playboy.”

PTC’s threats can’t be taken too lightly … the advocacy group targeted MTV’s “Skins” and NBC’s “The Playboy Club” … and BOTH were later cancelled — though neither of them drew the ratings of ‘AGT.’

[From TMZ]

If Stern is saying offensive things on air during America’s Got Talent, then maybe some kind of boycott would make sense. These are things he said on the air on a satellite radio program geared for adults, I don’t think they should have any bearing on his ability to do his job as a judge on a network television show. Yes he’s a controversial figure, but he’s also a hugely successfully personality. He knows where the boundaries are and he’s likely to respect them. It seems really premature to stage a boycott due to his other job, and I hope advertisers are smart enough to realize that. Hopefully the ratings will be strong enough to quickly trump this controversy.

Howard and his wife Beth are shown outside The Late Show on 2-1-12 and in Southampton at an event on 8-20-11. Credit: WENN.com

I’m not a big Howard Stern fan, but I developed a new appreciation for him after reading his very thoughtful Rolling Stone interview earlier this year. I’m getting such a kick out of this story. Shock jock Howard and his wife, Beth Ostrosky, were getting their drink on for New Year’s Eve when they decided to call up a bunch of people who responded to their tweets asking for their phone numbers. The result was a huge thrill for the lucky recipients of Howard and Beth’s drunken phone calls and voicemail messages.

Howard Stern fans who follow the radio host on Twitter had a chance to get up close and personal with the King of All Media on New Year’s Eve.

Stern tweeted this message to his followers Saturday night: “Beth and I are drunk dialing. What’s your phone number?”

Stern and wife Beth apparently followed through on that promise for the next few hours, at least according to Stern’s Twitter feed, where he would tweet about who he spoke to. In numerous cases, he didn’t reach the person, but tweeted that he left them a voicemail message.

One fan tweeted that he adopted his two cats because of advice from Stern, and Stern tweeted “Just called to hear about the cats. Got voicemail.”

An equal opportunity pet lover, apparently, Stern also called two fans who mentioned their dogs, including one who said that he and his wife were staying home with a dog who’d just returned from the ICU.

To another, Stern tweeted “sorry to interrupt the video games,” and to another, he said “Drinking beer alone. What happened? You clammed up on me.”

Some of the fans then reported on their calls via Twitter. The aforementioned video gamer wrote “Howard Stern just called me! This new year rules already!”

Another lucky fan tweeted after her call: “OMG! It was like the best thing ever! I started crying after we hung up!”
When he was finished, Stern tweeted “Just made my last call. Going to bed. Wishing everyone a happy new year. If u get a call after this…it’s not me.”

[From MSNBC]

That’s kind of awesome. I totally understand that guy who clammed up. I get nervous sometimes talking on the phone, and I think I would be totally speechless and wouldn’t know what to say if a celebrity called me. That’s why Kaiser spoke to the celebrity who contacted us over New Year’s weekend. I would have probably just sat there with my mouth open until I stammered out something unintelligible.

Photos are from July, August and November 2011. Credit: WENN.com

For those who are still raging over the Casey Anthony “not guilty” verdict that was delivered last month by a Floridian jury, a slight bit of catharsis (albeit no further justice) can be had in the news that Anthony has been voted to the top of a “Top 10 Most Hated People” poll. Of course this news will do nothing to settle the unrest aimed at the Anthony jurors, who fortunately have been spared the same dubious honor. C’mon, they were really only doing their jobs. Anyway and because I don’t want to freshly stir that pot, let’s get on with the rest of the list, shall we?

What do Casey Anthony, Spencer Pratt and Jon Gosselin have in common? A new poll suggests they’re the most hated people in America!

These public figures top findings by Nielsen subsidiary E-Poll Market Research, the New York Post reports. Joining them are famous names such as O.J. Simpson, Paris Hilton and ‘Octomom’ Nadya Suleman, all making way on the following top 10 list:

1. Casey Anthony
2. Spencer Pratt
3. Octomom
4. O.J. Simpson
5. Jon Gosselin
6. Levi Johnston
7. Jesse James
8. Paris Hilton
9. Heidi Fleiss
10. Howard Stern

“A lot of the folks on this list are people who are constantly in the news and have nonredeeming qualities,” Mary Ann Farrell, Senior Vice President of Research at E-Poll, says.

[From Hollywood Life]

Okay, I completely understand why Anthony and Simpson are on this list because they’re basically cut out of the same legally-scandalous grain. Also truly reprehensible are Spencer Pratt (and his extremely expensive crystals) and Nadya “Octomom” Suleman because she’s a drain on the taxpayers and acts like such an entitled bitch concerning her own womb. People don’t like Levi Johnston because he’s a reprehensible, deadbeat famewhore and Jesse James because he cheated on and humiliated Sandra Bullock. Naturally, Paris Hilton’s entrance on this list is rather self-explanatory. As to Howard Stern, he loves to be hated, so he’ll probably feel like he accomplished something today. However, do people still care at all about Jon Gosselin or Heidi Fleiss? Their inclusion makes me wonder whether or not the company presented people with a list and asked them to pick which ones they hated the most instead of asking people to name their own suggestions. Pollsters can be so shady like that.

Photos courtesy of WENN

It’s easy to grow tired of Lady Gaga’s constant shtick. She seems to have no “off” button and is constantly dressed in ludicrous outfits, spewing pseudo intellectual pretentious drivel about her “art” and touting how groundbreaking she is while she’s copying other artist’s acts. But after seeing her on Howard Stern, I have some new respect for this creature and the talent that exists under all that artifice. Gaga performed acoustic versions of her songs “Edge of Glory” and “Hair” and they were just incredible. Howard told her it was one of the best performances he’d ever had on his show.

Listen to this performance and tell me that this girl isn’t very talented. It’s hard not to get distracted by the faces she’s pulling though. (For comparison, here’s a link to the 80s style video for Edge of Glory.)

I doubt Rihanna or Katy Perry could sound that good singing acoustic.

In the interview portion with Howard, Gaga talked about how she did coke while she was waitressing in NY and called it “the devil.” The story sounded like most of the other crap she spews about her mythical hard knock life – exaggerated or a fabrication. “I did [cocaine] all alone in my apartment, while I wrote music. And I regret every line I ever did. So to any of the little sweethearts who are listening, don’t touch it. It’s the devil.” Is she talking about last week? She also joked that she didn’t have a boyfriend, since “it’s hard to find a boyfriend who doesn’t mind a good tuck.”

As for what she’s been spending her money on, if she indeed has any left after paying for her costumes, she said that her apartment costs $1,100 a month and that she paid for her dad to get heart surgery and a car.

Just for today, I’ll give Lady Gaga a pass for being insufferable since she seems to have some chops. That doesn’t explain her general existence though.

Here’s Lady Gaga doing “Hair”

Photos are from 7/18/11. Credit: WENN.com

On Monday’s episode of “The Howard Stern Show,” the shock jock talked at length about various celebrity run-ins that he experienced at the weekend nuptuals of big-shot Hollywood producer Brad Grey. Naturally, Tom Cruise was at the wedding with wifebot Katie Holmes in tow, and while Stern was on the dance floor with his wife, Beth Ostrosky, the two couples crossed paths. Stern perceived that Tom was his usual “friendly” self as always around industry types; as for Katie, she was reportedly “in a trance.” Indeed, that’s the perfect way to describe Holmes ever since Scientology got their claws into her, thanks to the Unhinged, Lift-Wearing Midget himself. And why wouldn’t she be positively catatonic? Beyond the few token film roles within which she’s supposedly immersed herself over the past several years, all that Katie has to do with her time is get audited and go shopping. Then, she goes shopping some more. That last part sounds completely doable at first to us civilians, but I imagine that it gets rather old and unfulfilling very short order.

Speaking of the Poison Dwarf, his career (such as it is) has recently experienced a very dubious uprising. Not only has that Les Grossman horror-comedy come to life, but Tom’s also prepping for the onset of filming for Rock of Ages. To add further gasoline to the ritualistic L. Ron Hubbard-themed sacrifice fire at which the Cruise prays, rumors are floating around that Tom will make a Goop-styled “Glee” cameo of his own:

Reports have suggested that Tom Cruise could soon be making a cameo appearance in hit US TV show, Glee.

Following the success of Gwyneth Paltrow’s appearance in the series, Showbiz Spy has claimed that producers are hoping Cruise will star in the show and create his own character.

It is thought that bosses were so impressed with his hilarious sketch as Tropic Thunder‘s Les Grossman with Jennifer Lopez at last year’s MTV Movie Awards, that they are keen for him to portray a role like that in Glee.

A source told the website: “The producers love the idea that Tom might create a character just like Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder.”

“His dance rendition to Flo Rida’s Low went down so well with audiences and they know something like that would be just as popular, if not more so, on Glee.”

They continued: “At the moment they are in talks with Tom to play a failed and jaded pop star who is now teaching a Glee Club at a rival school but they are willing to let him have a lot of input in to his character just to try and get him on the show.”

“They know that Katie and Suri are big fans of Glee too so they are hoping this may also sway his decision.”

[From MTV}

How lovely. Maybe they can eventually get Goop's character together with that of Cruise. She can do another sex-ed styled skit and dangle a bag of P-E-N-I-S gummies in front of Tom while he follows her around with puppy dog eyes. Whether or not this "Glee" thing doesn't work out, there's also Cruise's newly announced attachment to play a "politician who gets caught in an affair" within a script by Crazy, Stupid, Love screenwriter Dan Fogelman. If that's not enough to satisfy your own personal "need for speed," well, it gets even better from there, for (drum roll) AMC Theaters is bringing Top Gun back to theaters for two very special exclusive dates: April 30 and May 2 (see times and theater listings here). Supposedly, anyone who shells out for a ticket will receive "a theatre-sized commemorative poster," you know, much like the one that young Katie Holmes used to keep on the wall over her childhood bed. Yuck.

Photos courtesy of Fame Pictures

Howard Stern has a new cover story interview with Rolling Stone. Unlike past cover subjects, i.e. Snooki, Justine Beaver, Stern seems to actually rate a cover. Advance details of his interview have him speaking candidly about his divorce and how he used casual sex to ease the pain, eventually realizing that it wasn’t fulfilling for him. He also says some very nice things about his second wife, Beth Ostrosky, and his reasoning for marrying her. RollingStone.com has more excerpts, and I was particularly impressed by his meticulous approach to doing to his show and how he tries to read people and pay very close attention the whole time. That’s probably how he gets so many people to open up.

How he learned to interview people
“The ability to interview people and read your subject comes from my mother being very demanding of me with one thing: That I should be able to read her mood and know what she wanted. I could look in my mother’s eyes and know everything. I was trained to make my mother happy. And I swear to you, when I sit there on the radio, I don’t miss a trick because I’ll study it. I count how many times you blink. I watch everything.”

He worked hard for his success
“Radio was everything. I had to win – at all costs, no holds barred. Not to sound like Charlie Sheen, but losing was not an option. I put in a lot of hours of work on it. I listened to every show back on tape. I sat there and thought everything through. I spent thousands of hours editing tapes, writing commercials, incorporating sound effects. I spent endless days and nights thinking about this and nothing else.”

On Charlie Sheen
“I sort of admire Charlie Sheen’s ability to say f*ck you to the world. It’s a fascinating car wreck because, you know, how many people are in Hollywood dying for a hit television show? I don’t know whether to give him a medal or to throw him in a loony bin. He doesn’t care, and that’s not me. Oh, I care! I care what my parents think, I care what you think, I care too much. In a way, I’m in as weird a place as Charlie Sheen. He doesn’t care at all and I care too much. Where’s the middle ground?”

Casual sex wasn’t for him
“After my divorce, I realized, “Oh, wow, I can go have sex.” And I was running around, picking up women. Then all of a sudden, it dawned on me that I really didn’t need that much sex. I just wanted somebody with me every minute. I was using women as a surrogate mother. When I tapped into that, it suddenly became very childish behavior. And really, was it so great f’ing every night? They’re using me for my fame, I’m using them for their beauty, and the whole f’ing thing seemed empty.”

On his divorce
“[Getting a divorce] felt like such a failure. It’s so complicated, and it’s hard for me even to figure out at this point what went wrong and how things that were so good could go so bad. It’s tough. I think I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to analyze that.”

On marrying his second wife
“Things changed when we got married. Everyone before was like, ‘Oh, are you Howard Stern’s blond bimbo that hangs out with him?’ But suddenly, when we were married, it was like, ‘Oh, this is Howard’s wife.’ And that was important to me. Part of the reason I got married was that I wanted Beth to understand how important she is and also how equal I feel she is to me.”

On his current marriage
“In many ways, my marriage now is so easy, but I’m also aware that I could f&@# things up very easily. I could start getting more into my work, and ignoring what’s important to Beth. I’m awfully narcissistic, and I have to keep that in check. I can’t be like King Tut sitting there and expect to be taken care of, because so many times we can turn our wives into mothers.”

[From Rolling Stone via US Weekly]

I saw Private Parts and it really portrayed the love story between Howard and his first wife, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at how much of a monogamist he is. I was pretty fascinated by this interview, particularly with the way Howard described his career and being such a perfectionist about it. He’s an incredibly interesting guy, and he’s not just the shock jock that people who don’t listen to his show might assume he is. The guy definitely earned his success, whether you agree with the way he went about it or not.

Howard Stern and his wife Beth Ostrosky are shown on 1/20/11 (header, Credit: WENN.com) and on 5/24/10 and 5/19/10 (credit: Fame). Rolling Stone cover via CoverAwards