Former tabloid editor and current judge of “America’s Got Talent” Piers Morgan appeared on the Howard Stern radio show yesterday. Among his many topics of conversation was the fact that Morgan is the man responsible for introducing Sir Paul McCartney to the now-infamous Heather Mills. The rest, as they say, was history- in the form of one of the highest divorce settlement payments in U.K. history. Way to go, Piers!
Piers Morgan publicly apologized for introducing Paul McCartney to Heather Mills at a charity event. “Paul asked who she was after seeing her give a speech. I introduced them. I’m not sure if Paul knew that she was missing a leg at the time. I never thought in my wildest of dreams that Mills would turn out to be a grasping, gold-digging little bimbo.”
“I was fooled into thinking that she was a good person. She ended up costing Paul 50 million dollars,” he said, laughing. He added that Heather was “so daft,” she couldn’t even understand why people liked Paul more than her: “I told her, ‘Well, on one hand, you’ve got the guy who wrote ‘Yesterday’ and ‘Hey Jude.’ On the other, there’s you, a gold-digging…”
Piers also added that he has repeatedly apologized to Paul, who told him there was “nothing to apologize for.” Paul’s daughter Stella, according to Piers, went up to him later and asked him, “Why? Why our family?” He said that Britain was glad to be rid of Mills and called her “The most hated woman in Britain. Now you can have her, New York!”
Piers Morgan is shown below at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards on 6/3/08. Heather Mills and Paul McCartney are shown in the header on 4/19/01, thanks to WENN.
Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky on 5/4/08
If I hadn’t heard it for myself, I never would have believed it. The “King of All Media,” Howard Stern, and the former “Queen of Nice,” Rosie O’Donnell, could end up working together on Sirius. The pair were once engaged in a vicious war of words, but all that changed when Stern saw her documentary “All Aboard.” He was impressed with the work she was doing with foster kids and children with special needs, and said so on the air- much to the disgust of many listeners. The unlikely pair have been quietly patching things up, and on Tuesday, Rosie called into Howard’s show on Sirius. Stern offered Rosie an hour-long talk special on his channel, Howard 101.
On Stern’s show in 1998, the staff once estimated the size of O’Donnell’s noggin, filled what was deemed a comparable container with jellybeans and challenged visiting celebrities and listeners to guess the number. And O’Donnell always had some choice words about Stern whenever his more militant fans prank-called her self-titled talk show.
In recent years, however, Stern’s rants about Rosie subsided, particularly after he admitted on the air a year or two ago that they had a nice chat when bumping into each other at a restaurant.
Today, O’Donnell called from her home—presumably in South Nyack—to chat it up with Howard and the gang. The gripping interview, which lasted almost an hour, covered her career, her love life and her controversial theory about 9/11.
On quitting her own talk show: “I left because I could no longer enjoy it the way one should enjoy their work, and I was sort of paying someone else to raise my kids and (hated) not having time to live my life.”
On ‘The View’: O’Donnell said she respects her successor, Whoopi Goldberg, because of her ability to be real; remains friendly with Sarah Lawrence College grad Barbara Walters; but was never completely embraced by Joy Behar (for whom O’Donnell opened early in her career as a stand-up comedian). The liberal O’Donnell said she has only exchanged a few baby-related e-mails with conservative “View” cohost Elisabeth Hasselbeck since O’Donnell left the show. Then O’Donnell admitted that Hasselbeck was the most attractive woman on the show.
On her celebrity crushes: O’Donnell, a lesbian, said she really did have a crush on Tom Cruise and revealed that Matthew McConaughey also turned her on while slow-talking his way through a description on how to make beer-can chicken. She said her current celebrity crushes include Angelina Jolie, Angela Bassett, Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayek and Diane Lane. Not on that list, however, is Stern’s fiancée, Beth Ostrosky, whom O’Donnell complimented and described as a “too perfect … Barbie doll.”
On her love life: She said she was sexually abused as a child, lost her virginity when she was 21 to a man, and could count her number of sexual conquests on “two hands.” She added that rumors of a wild life as a single woman had been greatly exaggerated, adding, “I’m not even nude in the shower.”
That was way more than I want to know about Rosie. Still: if these two can make up, anyone can. Last year, when Stern sidekick Artie Lange contemplated leaving the show, Stern actually considered replacing him with O’Donnell. At that time, he said, “Hey, Rosie really mixed it up on The View, she caused controversy on a daily basis and I’m a big fan of controversy. Controversy brings listeners. Much of my career has been based on lesbians and controversy, Rosie is a double whammy.” That may be true, but I don’t know if I could tune in and listen to an hour of Rosie every morning.
Rosie O’Donnell and Kelli Carpenter O’Donnell are shown below at the PS 122 Spring Gala on 5/15/08. All images thanks to WENN.
Howard Stern and his crew routinely take celebrity audiobooks and mix and match words and syllables to create rude and outrageous phrases that sort-of sound like they’re coming from the celebrity. The results are creatively stupid and often disgusting toilet humor, a fraction of which might pass as an actual sentence but most of which sounds outrageous and stilted. Howard and Robin present the phrases like they’re real and talk about how crazy it is that the person would be saying that, but it’s glaringly fake and it’s doubtful anyone believes it. Former Star Trek star George Takei has gone on the show when people are prank-called using mixes of his books. He’s laughed through it all good-naturedly, likening the results to raunchy audio Picassos.
One of the latest celebrities to be subjected to an audiobook sampling mix is 62 year old country legend Dolly Parton, and hers was definitely obnoxious and insulting. Phrases included:
God damn I love n*r cock
Kenny Rogers loves to piss inside little boys a*holes
Linda Rondstadt is a really fat tub of sh*t
Instead of trying to ignore it or saying that it was an obvious manipulation, Parton issued a statement that it really upset her and that she’s considering suing:
Dolly Parton has hit back against “The Howard Stern Show,” which last week manipulated recordings from one her audio books into seemingly racist and sexually graphic sound bites.
“I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life,” Parton says in a statement. “I cannot believe what Howard Stern has done to me. In a blue million years, I would never have such vulgar things come out of my mouth. They have done editing or some sort of trickery to make this horrible, horrible thing. Please accept my apology for them and certainly know I had nothing to do with this.”
“If there was ever going to be a lawsuit, it’s going to be over this,” she continued. “Just wanted you to know that I am completely devastated by this.”
The phrases attributed to Parton involved the n word and pedophilia so you can see how she would get extremely upset about it. I listened to a bunch of these mixups, they’re below, and some were definitely funny but they went too far in many cases. That’s pretty much expected for Howard Stern, but you can’t blame Parton for saying that it’s way out of line and that she’s really hurt by it.
When I heard this I thought that Parton might have a new book out from which they’re sampling, but her biography Dolly: My Life and Other Unfinished Business came out over 10 years ago.
Here are some clips from the Howard Stern show in which they do these audiobook mixes - warning on all of these. Don’t listen if you have kids around or are at work without headphones, they’re raunchy.
Dolly Parton Audiobook Mashup
Ed McMahon audiobook
George Takei “calls” a self-professed Hillbilly
George Takei Deli Prank
Nasty Oprah Audiobook, featuring George Takei in the studio
Dolly Parton is shown on 5/1/08 on her way to play Radio City Music Hall, thanks to WENN.
Anyone who thought shock jock Howard Stern’s radio show would lose steam once it made the leap to satellite radio hasn’t been listening lately. If you have been listening to his Sirius show, you have been witnessing the slow, uncomfortable breakdown of comedian/on-air sidekick Artie Lange. Lange, a portly stand-up comedian who replaced longtime sidekick Jackie Martling and has become a beloved figure on the show, has been gaining even more weight, blackout drinking and dabbling in drugs over the last year, to the point that his co-workers have expressed concern on-air. Lange’s downward spiral finally came to a head yesterday on the air, when he physically attacked his assistant and hurled various epithets at him, and then quit the show.
Stern was finally left speechless yesterday after a brawl erupted inside his Sirius Satellite studio between his hard-partying sidekick Artie Lange and Lange’s assistant, Teddy, which ended with Lange’s quitting the show.
The bickering started off air in the morning, in the hallway adjacent to Stern’s studio. Show staffers overheard Lange screaming at Teddy because Teddy asked him for his passport for the fourth time as he planned their flight to Amsterdam, which was set to take off last night. Lange told Teddy he should have photocopied the passport the first time.
Stern was told they had been bickering and brought it up on air. When Teddy came in to defend himself, Lange snapped.
“He’s a loser,” yelled Lange. “He’s the most unorganized assistant. I want to fire him, but he has no money. I hope he dies of AIDS.”
Lange, who pays Teddy $24,000 a year for part-time work, then accused Teddy of embarrassing him in front of friends last week in LA when he called Bloomingdale’s department store by its nickname, Bloomie’s, and announced the store didn’t have something in Lange’s size.
“I think I hired a fag,” said Lange. “I wanted to throw him out the window.”
Lange then threw a cup of water at Teddy and lunged at him, throwing a punch that didn’t land. Show writer Benjy Bronk jumped on Lange and held him back, while Ronnie “The Limo Driver” Mund burst in to get Teddy out of the studio.
Lange blamed Stern for the fight, saying that Stern “pushed” him to the breaking point and that he couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t snap again in the future. He then told Stern he loved him and resigned.
“Don’t ever mention Bloomie’s around the guy,” Stern sighed.
One show insider says that the staff loves Lange and is “extremely upset” but that it’s out of Stern’s hands and that Sirius management will soon decide Lange’s fate. The show is on a break next week.
Both Lange and Teddy failed to return calls for comment. Lange was last spotted by a fan at the Brooklyn Diner on West 57th, drowning his sorrows in a plate of food.
It’s a shame that Lange is at such a low point that he feels the need to lash out both physically and verbally at someone “smaller” than him. The poor kid is making what equates to less than minimum wage and doesn’t deserve to be called names and attacked. Hopefully, Lange will check himself into rehab, look back on this and realize that this was his “rock bottom” moment. Stern, for his part, was extremely upset at the end of the broadcast and tried to defuse the situation, asking Artie to go cool off and then come back to work tomorrow, but it was too late.
Update by Celebitchy: Here’s the audio clip, which was initially blocked by Sirius through a cease and desist they sent out. Sirius has since issued the OK to publish it. Thanks to Rowdy on Redlasso for this clip.
Artie Lang is shown at “Artie Lang’s Beer League” premiere on 9/16/06, thanks to PRPhotos.
Howard Stern announced way back in 2002 that he was working on remakes of 1982 teen sex comedy Porky’s and the 1979 Ramones teen rebellion flick Rock ‘N Roll High School. Not much came of those projects for years, but now it’s been announced that Stern’s version of Porky’s is a go, and will start filming in October of this year:
“They say [The Porky’s remake is] all greenlit and everything, ready to go. They say they can even start shooting in October, but I don’t know if that’s true,” says Stern. “It seemed like a fun project, which it is.”
[Quote is of unknown origin, probably from Stern’s radio show. From Slashfilm.com via Fark]
I don’t remember much about those three Porky’s films except for the fact that they were usually on HBO on Friday and Saturday nights when my parents would typically be out. Those were the type of movies that were strictly forbidden that you made sure you watched whenever possible.
The author notes that Superbad, which comes out on Friday, is in the same R-rated teen comedy genre and if it does well at the box office it could mean that the new Porky’s will be fast-tracked. Incidentally, that Superbad movie is getting excellent reviews from critics and has a whopping 95% aggregate rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
There’s not a lot known about the Porky’s remake from what I could find. The original featured horny teenagers in rural Florida and was set in 1954. I bet Stern’s version will be set in modern day.
Yahoo! Movies has an entry about the project’s status way back in 2003. At that time it was thought that Stern would use unknown actors, as in the original, and might make a cameo. It was not thought that he will have a large role in the film.
Whose brilliant (I wish a [sic] typed text had a way to convey sarcasm) idea was this? Thank goodness Bob Clarke redeemed himself with “A Christmas Story.” That anyone would even entertain the idea that remaking “Porky’s” is a worthwhile project, is beyond my imagination. Are there no producers willing to make original films anymore? Are there no screenwriters writing original material anymore? (well, that at least I know is not true). No wonder the rest of the world hates America — just look at the reptetive, unoriginal crap that Hollywood foists on them (and us). Anyone interested in starting a grassroots campaign against remakes?
“It is alleged that his mane is a wig; that beneath it all, without the hairpiece, Stern looks like a dentist from the Bronx (circa 1945), who sells condoms on the side,” claims [Michael Savage of WOR].
XM Radio’s Opie and Anthony also dish that they believe Stern has hair plugs.
Obviously these guys have nothing better to do than to speculate about the most successful DJ of all time. Stern’s hair does look suspiciously full, but he has always had lots of hair. It wouldn’t be that damning to Stern if this is actually true though, considering that he has admitted to having plastic surgery to reconstruct his nose and remove the fat from his chin.
Howard Stern is being sued by former employer CBS for promoting his upcoming Sirius show on the air. Stern was proportedly warned to cut it out, but kept on it in his trademark style:
The CBS suit claims Stern “repeatedly and willfully breached his written contract with CBS Radio over the last 22 months of that contract, misappropriated millions of dollars worth of CBS Radio airtime for his own financial benefit, and fraudulently concealed his interest in hundreds of millions of dollars of Sirius stock while promoting it on the air.”
By touting his move from terrestrial radio, the suit contends, Stern essentially gave Sirius free ad time on his CBS syndicated show–this, despite being on orders from CBS suits to tone down the Sirius plugs. (Last November, a month before he signed off from CBS Radio, his bosses there suspended Stern for one day for overtly hyping Sirius.)
Stern says it’s personal and that he disclosed details of his new contract to CBS.
Whatever the outcome, CBS is losing money. Stern’s replacement, David Lee Roth, is tanking in the ratings.
came out over 10 years ago.
