Now that Lane Garrison is out of prison, what’s the first, most logical thing to do? Go to Jessica Simpson’s parents house for a party, naturally. That’s where most ex-cons go. Actually, it turns out that Jessica Simpson’s dad and Garrison go way back: Joe was Lane’s youth pastor when he was growing up in Texas.

Garrison served just half his 40 months sentence for felony vehicular manslaughter and driving under the influence. His car crash killed a 17-year-old boy and left two teenage girls injured. As a condition of his release, Garrison is spending the next five months in a rehab facility.

Hours after his release from prison and a gathering at Jessica Simpson’s parents’ house, a noticeably thinner Lane Garrison spoke exclusively to E! News as he arrived at the Los Angeles-area Tarzana Treatment Center to begin a five-month stint at the residential inpatient facility.

Wearing a baseball cap with the word “faith” printed on it, the former Prison Break star discussed his plans for the future. “I’m blessed to be alive,” said Garrison, who spent more than 19 months in prison altogether for a 2006 DUI crash that left one passenger dead. “I’m just worried about getting through treatment right now,” he said. Also, “I’m looking forward to getting on with my life and doing the right thing and helping people.”

During his incarceration, Garrison was a peer mentor for fellow inmates, a responsibility that requires a spotless behavior record while behind bars. And he had some famous friends waiting for him on the outside upon his release.

Sources tell E! News that, after being picked up from the California Correctional Institute, he was the guest of honor at a welcome-home reception at Simpson’s parents’ Encino home. Papa Joe Simpson was Garrison’s youth minister in their native Texas and Lane lived with the family for a time. Jessica was at the gathering today, but there was no sign of sister Ashlee. Garrison was at the Simpsons’ place from 1 p.m. to 4:30 p.m., after which he went directly to the nearby Tarzana rehab center.

[From E! News]

I hope this guy works his butt off in rehab. He’s obviously got some serious demons. It seems like he handled this as well as he could. He gave an apology in court in which he seemed to be genuinely emotionally distraught, though obviously he’s an actor. But he took responsibility (at least publicly) for his behavior and has never tried to blame anyone else. He also reached settlements with the victims’ families. I’m by no means on the guy’s side nor do I have empathy for him – that’s for his victims. But I think so far he’s done as much as can be done in a situation like this. Now if Garrison is willing to work hard and really clean up in rehab – and stay that way – that will best demonstrate his remorse.

Here’s Lane checking into rehab yesterday. Images thanks to Pacific Coast News.

Joe Simpson is firing back at recent reports claiming that the stage dad advised daughter Jessica to get rid of NFL boyfriend Tony Romo. Papa Joe responded that, on the contrary, he likes Tony very much and does not, as the gossip had claimed, view him as a distraction to Jessica’s career.

Joe Simpson is slamming a new National Enquirer report that claims he wants his daughter Jessica to dump Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo.

The tabloid quotes a source as saying that Joe “feels that Tony has become too much of a distraction…. Rather than blaming his daughter’s work ethic, Joe points the finger at Tony.”

“So tired of people saying I don’t like Jess and Tony… He is the best…” Joe says (via Twitter). “Don’t believe the National Enquirer!!!”

After meeting Romo in late 2006, Joe introduced his daughter to the football star. Romo later ran into Jessica and Joe at a Country Music Awards show and emailed Joe, “‘Cute date,’” Jessica told Glamour last year.

Jessica and Romo appear to be going strong a year later: She gave him a shout-out at nearly every show she performed so far this year with Rascal Flatts.

At her last show March 15 in Irvine, Calif, she dedicated the ballad “You’re My Sunday” to the “person I’m in love with right now.”

[From Us Weekly]

On a side note- how strange is it that celebrities’ Twitter messages are now becoming quotes for the media to build an entire story around? It really is a weird phenomenon. How reliable is it, really? And will Twitter messages one day replace the need for celebrity interviews entirely? Anyway, I’m sure there is one thing Joe will never tire of, and that’s being the subject of media stories- good or bad. As much as both of his daughter are desperate for fame, Joe is even worse. Where do you think they got it from?

Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are shown in the header out in NY on 2/13/09. Credit: VILA/ANDERSON/bauergriffinonline.com. Joe Simpson and Tony Romo are shown below golfing on 1/8/09. Credit: Fame Pictures.

It seems that Jessica Simpson is no longer being controlled like a busty marionette by her father. Joe Simpson, known for his heavy involvement in his daughter’s careers and inappropriate comments about Jessica’s D-cup boobs, supposedly wants her to break up with Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo.

“Joe now feels that Tony has become too much of a distraction for Jessica. Any free time she has, Jess wants to spend with Tony. But rather than blaming his daughter’s work ethic, Joe points the finger at Tony. He wants Tony out of her life, but Jessica loves him and won’t even consider leaving him at this point,” claims an insider.

The source adds that Jessica is not listening to her father, and instead is trying to get Romo to settle down with her. “Her main concern is getting Tony to settle down and commit,” says the source, who adds that Simpson was to get married and start a family soon.

National Enquirer via TransWorldNews

It’s not surprising that Jessica wants to get married and have babies with Tony Romo. However, I can see how Joe Simpson might be concerned about his meal ticket. Jess isn’t exactly packing in the crowds, and her country music has generated an underwhelming response. The most press she’s had lately is for her unfortunate taste in mom jeans, but that isn’t likely to sell many records. Maybe Joe should push Jess to spend lots of time with Tony. A marriage and a baby can generate interest in her and could help sell some products, whether that be in the form of music, shoes, or tabloid covers.

Jess is reportedly taking on golf lessons in order to spend even more time with Tony Romo. She’s just finished her tour in support of her country music album, but while she’s back in the Daisy Duke pants (is this look tired yet?) she didn’t know all the words to her songs at a recent concert. Perhaps a refreshing break is in order.

Jessica Simpson is shown performing at the Florida Strawberry Festival on 3/8/09. Credit:
WENN.com

OK! Magazine takes great pleasure in the fact that pop star turned country singer Jessica Simpson recently played a bingo hall at a casino in which her accommodations were less than luxurious. Her dressing room didn’t even have a refrigerator or an ironing board, for goodness sakes!

From stadiums to bingo halls, Jessica Simpson’s performance venues have apparently slid towards the less-than-glamorous: Bingo regulars at the 2,500-capacity San Manuel Indian Bingo & Casino in Highland, Calif., had to go elsewhere for their game on Nov. 13 when she performed there.

The hall’s florescent lighting, dirty carpet and fried-food odor is a far cry from the venues J-Simp played back when her album In This Skin sold 7 million copies.

“Jessica’s dressing room at the bingo hall was a little larger than a broom closet,” an insider tells OK!.

“There’s an iron, but no ironing board. There’s not even a fridge!”

[From OK! Magazine]

It could be true that Simpson accepted an inferior venue as she’s not as much in demand lately, but OK! Magazine has good reason to emphasize her downfall. It’s rumored that relations between OK! and Jessica’s dadager, Joe Simpson, soured after he promised them exclusive access to his daughter in 2005 for over six figures but then turned around and gave other magazines stories.

This January, Jessica Simpson’s people sent OK! the most poorly worded cease and desist I’ve ever read in response to a their report that Tony Romo dumped her, which he subsequently did only to take her back before her sister’s wedding in May. There are plenty of other outlets that are rejoicing in Simpson’s lack of success in film, music and her personal life. While it’s easy to see that Jessica can’t act, she can still sing when she’s not ruining it by talking. It seems people are taking offense at her poor management, which is as much to blame for her downfall as for the media backlash against her.

Jessica Simpson is shown performing on Good Morning America on 9/9/08. Credit: Bauergriffin

Jessica Simpson has finally chosen to address a few of the rumors about her uber-controlling father Joe, who has long been blamed for the wrecking of Jessica’s marriage… and all of her subsequent relationships. Joe’s made a lot of creepy comments about Jessica’s breasts in the past, and is altogether way too involved in his daughters’ lives, especially considering their ages. But some of the rumors are pretty crazy, and Jess finally put one to rest.

Jessica Simpson opened up about her dad during a radio interview in Colton, CA at K-Frog 95.1 on Tuesday.

“There have been stories that are ridiculous,” Simpson who is promoting her new country album said. “Like my father really fit me for a training bra. Like, who believes that kind of thing!?”

The singer was on the show to promote her new country album.

“I really just wanted to showcase the talent that God has given me and I don’t believe that in pop music I ever had the chance to stand on two feet and stand firm,” Simpson said.

[From US Magazine]

I had never actually heard that rumor before – or I’ve subconsciously blocked it out – but it’s funny as all hell. As long as you assume it was made up by overzealous teenagers and bares no possibility of truth. Which is what I’m going with, because I cannot even begin to consider the other possibility.

Jessica’s country album is actually getting pretty good reviews so far. Clearly she has employed someone slightly sensible in terms of the music business. Because she’s right, there was just no way she was completive in the pop music market anymore. Even in her heyday Jessica was always a distant third to Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.

In a weird way I think Papa Joe has helped her career. She’s gotten a ton of press in the last few years, at a time when no one was writing about her career. Thank goodness for creepy underwear rumors.

Here’s Jessica Simpson leaving a recording studio and heading back to her hotel to her father in New York in May 2006. Header at the Kennedy Center Honors gala performance in March 2006. Images thanks to WENN.

US Magazine has a new interview with Jessica Simpson’s dad, Joe, in which he indirectly responds to accusations that he’s mainly responsible for his daughter Jessica’s brief split with her boyfriend, quarterback Tony Romo. His answers are telling in that he seems to bemoan the fact that he doesn’t control his daughters’ Jessica and Ashlee as much as the media claims. He also uses the curious phrase “love to death” when describing both of his daughter’s mates. He doesn’t just accept and admire his daughters’ partners, he loves them both so much he could kill them:

“The media says that I try to plan everything - If I had half of the power they give me…They [Ashlee and Jessica] don’t call me and ask me. They call me and tell me.”

He adds that Jessica “… is as happy as I’ve seen her in years.” and gushes about the Dallas Cowboys quarterback, “He’s a great guy. I love Tony to death….He’s just a good kid….”

Us reports in the current issue that Joe asked Romo, 28, to let him help represent him. As tension grew, the Dallas Cowboys quarterback gave Jessica an ultimatum: Tell dad to back off!

Joe tells Extra that the public has many misconceptions about him as his daughters’ manager. “For all those people thinking I’m sipping Piña Coladas on the beach and enjoying millions of dollars and having this great life – Bull..I work seven days a week, 24/7.”

Simpson, who officiated daughter Ashlee’s wedding to Pete Wentz, says, “I love Pete to death…He has a patient spirit and a kind heart…I’m honored to have Pete as my son-in-law.”

[From US Weekly]

Pete seems pretty chill and like he can handle his father in law’s strong arm ways, while Tony wasn’t about to let Jessica’s dad take over his career or tell him what to do. US Weekly reports in the print edition this week that Joe called Tony many times after he broke up with her ahead of Ashlee’s wedding, and that he begged him to take his daughter back. Although Tony did got out to lunch with Jessica the Friday before the wedding, he is said to have let Joe know that his meddling would in no way be tolerated. He also brought a friend with him to Ashlee’s wedding, according to an insider quoted in the June 2 edition of Star. It was a “college pal named Nick” who acted “as a buffer.”

Tony and Jessica have since been spotted together several times, and seem to have reconciled. If Joe wants Jess to have a chance in this relationship he better back off. Given how defensive Joe sounds in these latest quotes he’s not about to stop interfering and it’s up to Tony and Jessica how they’re going to handle it. Maybe they could just refuse to take his calls for a while.

Jessica may about to make another major mistake in her relationship without her father’s help, though. OK! Magazine reports that she wants Tony to appear in the video for her country single Move On Over, and that he thinks it would be a good idea. All I can picture now is Affleck rubbing J.Lo’s ass.

Joe Simpson is shown with Jessica at the Kennedy Center Awards on 12/3/06. Jessica Simpson is shown signing autographs at the CMA Music Festival on 6/6/08, thanks to WENN.

Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo have tentatively reunited, with unconfirmed reports that Jessica’s father’s meddling ways drove her multi-millionaire quarterback beau away. US Weekly claims to have more details behind the cause of the split in their upcoming issue. Their story claims that not only did Jessica’s dad Joe ask Tony to turn his entire career over to him, telling him to fire his agent and let him run the show, he also advised Tony that a proposal and eventual marriage to Jessica could be brokered for maximum payment from the tabloids. Of course Romo put Simpson and her whole wacky family at arm’s length, but his love for the buxom country singer won out and they’re now giving it another try. He’s not taking shit from Jessica’s dad though, and told him to back off or he’s out of there for good.

Joe Simpson defended himself when questioned about it.

In its new issue, Us Weekly reports that Jessica Simpson’s controlling father Joe has brought her relationship with Tony Romo to the brink and was the main source behind their split in May.

A source tells Us Joe asked Romo, 28, to drop his agent so he could take over his NFL career and $67.5 million contract.

He even offered to broker a deal to sell his engagement and wedding to a magazine should Romo and Jessica, 27, get engaged. “‘If you guys have a marriage, I can do the same [sell it] that I did with Ashlee,’” a source quotes Joe as saying.

As tension grew, the Dallas Cowboys quarterback gave Jessica an ultimatum: Tell dad to back off!

When asked for comment by Us, Joe defended himself, telling Us, “It’s unfair to criticize me for what every manager does for his or her clients. And in this business, where people can quickly turn on you, who better than a parent to be working for his children?”

[From US Weekly]

Conclusion by guest writer Mike: If the drama seems too much right now, wait until the football season starts. If Joe continues his meddling ways come August, expect a firestorm of controversy from the nationwide network of AM radio sports-talk, perhaps the only “journalists” bitchier than celebrity gossip columnists. If Joe is seen by the sports writers as meddling in Romo’s life there will be new problems for the couple. Cowboys fans, already wary of Simpson’s influence on their star quarterback, will revolt after the team’s first loss or a poor performance, whether or not Jessica or Joe is to blame.

Jessica Simpson is shown at the Palms Place Hotel and Spa Grand Opening on 5/31/08, thanks to PRPhotos.

It turns out Pete Wentz really was joking when he said he and new wife Ashlee Simpson were honeymooning in their basement. It sounds obvious now, but given some of the couples’ low-key proclivities, it didn’t sound that impossible. Pete said they had blow up palm trees and a tanning bed down there – and it didn’t sound that far-fetched. Luckily they’re not as low-class as that – though I’m guessing they still ate a lot of DiGiorno’s pizza either way.

The couple actually honeymooned in Turks and Caicos for five days before returning to New York so Pete could play a Fallout Boy show.

Header of Ashlee and Pete arriving at their hotel in NYC after their honeymoon. Here’s Jessica back in California yesterday. Images thanks to Splash.

Newlyweds Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz didn’t spend their honeymoon in their basement after all. Wentz told Ryan Seacrest Tuesday that they were hiding out at home, “eating DiGiorno’s pizza,” to “save that 30 grand” days after their wedding.

Turns out, they were in the Caribbean. The pregnant singer (in a bikini!) and the shirtless Fall Out Boy rocker were photographed swimming Thursday.

The newlyweds are now in New York City, where Wentz is expected to play a private Fall Out Boy show for a Sweet 16 party, New York’s Daily News reports.

The couple can’t keep quiet about how happy they are.

“I feel great!” Wentz told Seacrest. “It is sunny and 65 in my head.”

[From Us Weekly]

Pete had made the basement honeymoon comment to Ryan Seacrest when he called in to chat on his morning radio show. Ryan asked him a few pregnancy-related questions – which, despite the way Us phrased it, is not a certainty at this point – and Wentz responded: “Ryan, this baby has not been confirmed,” he said. “The only thing I’m confirming now is that we’re in the basement on our honeymoon with these blow-up palm trees.”

I’m just going to point out that the basement and blow-up foliage didn’t turn out to be true – I wouldn’t be surprised if the rumored baby wasn’t either. But what a great way to sell records and up the asking price for your chin-tastic wedding photos, no?

While Ashlee and Pete were on their honeymoon, older sister Jessica Simpson honeymooned with her husband… er, dad, Joe. And her mom Tina probably tagged along too, until Joe ushered her away. The three went on vacation to Cabo San Lucas for the exact duration of Ashlee and Pete’s honeymoon. I’m guessing Joe and Tina took Jessica away to distract her.

I imagine whenever Jessica would start to feel sad or melancholy or mention Tony Romo, Joe would try to distract her with shadow puppets. And that would probably work for an hour or two, but inevitably Jessica’s mind would wander back to her happily knocked up sister and her own myriad of ex-boyfriends. And that’s when Joe would get on the phone to some high powered agent and work on buying Jessica’s next relationship.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz were due to have their shotgun wedding last weekend when Ashlee decided she didn’t want her dad, a former Baptist minister, officiating. She got it in mind that she was going to have a Buddhist minister instead, despite never having previously expressed an interest in Buddhism that I could find. The argument between Ashlee and her dad got so heated that she said she would cancel the wedding if he wouldn’t let her have a Buddhist priest preside. Ashlee’s fiancé Pete Wentz stepped in and was able to save the wedding by convincing Ashlee to give in to her dad:

“In the 11th hour, Ashlee clashed with her father over the ceremony, and when he would not cave, she actually decided to cancel,” said a family friend.

The dispute… was because Ashlee… decided at the last minute to have a Buddhist priest perform the ceremony instead of her father.

“Joe completely lost it!” the source said.

“They were down to the wire. Every last detail was in place and he could not believe his daughter came up with this last-second Buddhist idea after everything was set.”

Joe Simpson, a former Baptist minister, “dug in his heels,” according to the source, and told Ashlee there was no way he’d host a Buddhist wedding.

In the end, it was… Pete who saved the day.

“He ran after Ashlee, sat her down and told her there was too much at stake now to cancel the ceremony,” said the source.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, June 2, 2008]

Maybe Joe was pissed because the wedding was all planned out already, but if Ashlee had an available Buddhist minister in mind, and it’s not clear from this article that she did, it seems like a simple change to have a different person officiate. It’s her wedding and she should be the one to decide who is marrying her. Instead Joe Simpson almost let her cancel the whole thing because he was too stubborn to step down and concede his daughter’s wishes! That’s ridiculous. You can understand him being hurt, but it’s his daughter’s special day and he should care enough about her to step down. Instead Joe showed that his ego is more important than his daughter’s feelings.

The National Enquirer has details of Ashlee’s wedding that we’ve partially already heard. She had an “Alice in Wonderland” theme “decorated with a top hat, teapot and pocket watch with a pot of flowers on top…. Tables were laden with black beauty roses… and tents were decked out with black chandeliers, black rugs and white couches with red pillows.” Guests dined on a dinner of “crab cakes, shrimp tacos, sushi, roast organic chicken, Kobe beef and baked Alaska.”

Just Jared has pictures of Ashlee and Pete’s wedding invitation, complete with Alice in Wonderland “eat me” cookie, and their chocolate table settings with guests names.

Ashlee and Pete are shown at LaGuardia airport in New York last night after returning from their honeymoon. They’re in the same pose as on their People cover. Thanks to Splash News.

It’s pretty clear exactly which magazines Papa Joe Simpson is friendly with – and even more clear who he isn’t. Though People published an article questioning whether Tony Romo had really dumped Jessica Simpson – after all he did go to Ashlee’s wedding and was supposedly very sweet to Jessica all night – US Weekly is gloating that Jess had to go on vacation all alone with her parents yesterday. And it really does seem like they’re gloating; they’re enjoying her supposedly sorry state way too much.

Tony Romo may have joined Jessica Simpson for pregnant sister Ashlee’s Saturday wedding — but he skipped out on a family vacation with her the next day. On Sunday, Jessica and her parents Joe and Tina hopped a private jet for some R&R in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, amidst reports that she and Romo had split.

(Jessica, who toted her dog Daisy on the tarmac, doesn’t seem to have relationship luck in Cabo. After a teary 2007 trip there with John Mayer — who’s currently dating Jennifer Aniston — the pair called it quits.) On Friday, Usmagazine.com reported that Joe begged Romo to attend Ashlee’s wedding “to support the family.”

That same day, Jessica and Tony were spotted lunching at sushi restaurant Katsuya in L.A. It was the first time they’d been photographed together in three weeks. So are they really over? “He’s broken up with her before, but I don’t know if they’ll get back together this time,” a source tells Us. Read more about Jessica’s disastrous love life — including her terrifying obsession with Mayer’s romance with Aniston — in the current issue of Us Weekly, on newsstands now.

[From Us Weekly]

Us ends most of their articles with some plea to buy their print edition, and I don’t normally leave that in the excerpt. But the phrasing was so funny and really proves my point. They’re really enjoying framing Jessica in the most pathetic and desperate light possible. And it may be totally true – really we’re not there, we don’t know – but they sure have fun with their adjectives.

People, in contrast, brags about Jessica and Tony’s PDA at Ashlee’s wedding. Something tells me the truth probably lays somewhere between Jessica being totally pathetic and Tony Romo shoving his tongue down her throat. Probably.

What’s going on with Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo? While rumors of a split continue to swirl, the two attended Ashlee Simpson’s private weekend nuptials – looking anything but broken up. “They were very cozy and cute together,” [at Ashlee's rehearsal dinner ]said a source close to the couple, slamming Internet reports that Simpson was devastated to learn that her ex, John Mayer, has taken up with Jennifer Aniston. “She’s definitely not mourning John Mayer! She was in an amazing mood and so happy her sister was getting married.”

As for Saturday’s wedding and Alice In Wonderland-themed reception, Romo continued to shower the elder Simpson, 27, with attention, said the source. “They were kissing and holding hands throughout the night,” added the insider. “He was very sweet to her. They were very much a couple.” For the record, Jessica’s rep, Cindi Berger, has called the breakup talk “not true.”

[From People]

So for the record, Jessica Simpson is either as happy and in love as she’s ever been, or totally pathetically desperate and has little cut-outs of John Mayer’s head littering her home. And she’s either going to spend the rest of her life going on vacation with her parents until the sweet release of death, or she’s a total rock star with a killer love life. Between the two magazines, People is generally the more reputable – though in this case they might be a little hopefully naive.

Here’s Jessica and Tony arriving several hours early for Ashlee’s wedding. Note the body language. Images thanks to Splash.