Happy New Year, everyone! And happy New Year to all of our gossip friends too! I hope everyone has a safe, happy and healthy 2012. Don’t drink and drive! Get blitzed at home and post on Celebitchy. Everybody wins.

Seriously, Jessica Simpson is due in the spring. [Yeeeah]
The year in sketchy close-ups of sketchy faces. [Celebslam]
Rooney Mara‘s God and Creator discusses her piercings. [Jezebel]
Beyonce gave birth to Tiana? Naw. [Bossip]
Episodes 2 and 3 from Sh-t Girls Say. [OMG Blog]
Jessica Simpson loves to eat. A lot. [I’m Not Obsessed]
Guess the Shadow Booty. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Maria Menounos in a bikini. [ICYDK]
Kim Kardashian making more than Kanye for NYE? [CDAN]
Kim Richards still very much in rehab. [Life & Style]
All I got was Paris Hilton and cocaine. [PopBytes]
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley goes all Michael Lohan. [Hollywood Rag]
The top baby names of 2011. [LimeLife]
Business Cat versus Chemistry Cat. [CityRag]
Michael Jordan is engaged! [Starpulse]

Tom Felton is in Miami, being pasty and… sexy? Yes, I‘m hot for Felton in these photos. I would nail that pasty English boy to the wall. [Celebuzz]
I can‘t even start with this Lil‘ Kim photo. [Dlisted]
Ryan Gosling Fatigue ‘11. Or, “Stop trying to be the cool RA.” [LaineyGossip]
First look at Ben Affleck in Argo, The 1970s Wiglet Movie. [Pajiba]
Here‘s Owen Wilson & his baby, Robert Ford. [Pop Sugar]
Caleb Followill & Lily are expecting their first child. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Blind items! I want to know the first one. [Gawker]
Sparkles & Kristen Stewart were apart for Christmas. OH NOES. [Amy Grindhouse]
The Year In… Pippa Middleton‘s ass of lies. [Moe Jackson]
Emma Watson‘s hair was more important than Jennifer Aniston‘s. [The Frisky]
George Clooney & Stacy Keibler are still in Cabo. [Radar]
Oh, but here‘s Sparkles at LAX, about to reunite with K-Stew. [A Socialite Life]
Jessica Biel‘s fug fashion history. Girl can‘t dress. [Go Fug Yourself]
Kelly Brook is super cute. [IDLITW]
Matt Damon jokingly called ScarJo a bitch. [The Blemish]
How crazy is the Lohan Family Christmas Photo? [Evil Beet]
I love these Marc Jacobs photos. [INFDaily]
Videogum‘s favorite movies of 2011. [Videogum]

Steven Tyler & Erin Brady are (probably?) engaged. Erin looks like a soul-eater. [Bitten and Bound] and [HuffPo]
I don‘t understand half of the words in this Snooki headline. [Celebslam]
Hooker in a bikini. Hint: she‘s older than the Cracken, but way less busted. [Yeeeah]
Rick Perry is anti-choice, with no exceptions for rape or for the mother‘s life. [Jezebel]
Deion Sanders announced his divorce to the media before telling his wife. [Bossip]
Olympian Scotty Lago‘s cute butt in the snow. [OMG Blog]
Amanda Seyfried‘s red pants look… budget. [I’m Not Obsessed]
Kitteh-on-Kitteh violence is hilarious. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
More evidence that Katy Perry & Rusty are OVER. [ICYDK]
Anthony Weiner wanted threesomes with other dudes. [CDAN]
Kristen Wiig is still boning Fabrizio Morretti. [Life & Style]
Kim Kardashian & Barbie were tweeting each other. [PopBytes]
Kat Von D still gets pap‘d. [Hollywood Rag]
Ol‘ Dick Nixon was GAY?!?! OMG. [LimeLife]
Alessandra Ambrosio is knocked up again. [Celebs]
Happy 30th birthday, Sienna Miller. [CityRag]
Chris Evans is so neurotic. It‘s kind of funny, really. [Starpulse]

Taylor Lautner did NOT come out to People Mag. This cover is fake. [Gawker]
John Legend is engaged to his model girlfriend. [Radar]
Have you noticed that babies always love Pres. Obama? [Dlisted]
Yes, I grew to really like Channing Tatum through his interviews too. [LaineyGossip]
Review of We Bought a Zoo. [Pajiba]
Stephanie Seymour in a weird one-piece at the beach. [Pop Sugar]
Pink, Carey & baby Willow all look cute. [Celebuzz]
Denise Richards‘ girls are making funny faces. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Dido had a baby boy, named him Stan. Seriously. [Amy Grindhouse]
Adam Levine has a serious case of DoucheFace. [Moe Jackson]
The 20 best red carpet dresses of the year. [The Frisky]
Kate Hudson & Matt Bellamy spend the holidays in Aspen. [A Socialite Life]
The year in Chad Michael Murray‘s squints. [Go Fug Yourself]
Kim Kardashian‘s ass better perform tricks for this much money. [IDLITW]
Khloe Kardashian as a blonde – really pretty. [The Blemish]
One of Will Smith‘s former costars absolutely HATES him. [Evil Beet]
David Beckham looking sexy. [INFDaily]
Our favorite animal videos of 2011. [Videogum]

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all of our bitches! Much love from Celebitchy, Agent Bedhead and I, and we hope everybody has a safe, happy and healthy holiday. Next week, we’ll still be on “holiday hours” but we’ll still be posting, so come back for more crack shenanigans, fashion, dongs, biscuits and everything else you’re itching for (but if it keeps itching, you should get an ointment). As a Christmas present to myself, I’m throwing some Fassdong photos up. Don’t worry, I’ll share! Here’s the trailer for Fassy’s latest movie, Ridley Scott’s Prometheus. OMG!!!

Happy holidays to our gossip friends as well! Here are some Christmas links:

The first trailer for Prometheus, starring MICHAEL FASSBENDER. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. And Idris Elba too. OMG! [Pajiba]
George Michael is finally out of hospital! Huzzah! [Dlisted]
This actually makes me feel bad for Rooney Mara. Still, Team Noomi. [LaineyGossip]
New trailer for Haywire, starring FASSY. [Pop Sugar]
Can Megan Fox even close her mouth? [Celebuzz]
Random Christmas beefcake: Joe Manganiello. [Yeeeah]
The Druids say the world is NOT going to end in 2012. [Gawker]
Jim Carrey‘s new girlfriend is kind of busted. [INFDaily]
Lance Bass used the word “tranny”. [Evil Beet]
Some Hugh Jackman for Christmas. [A Socialite Life]
Lady Gaga‘s old-school hair bow. [Go Fug Yourself]
I love this Christmas card from Don & Juan. [OMG Blog]
Balthazar Getty is thinking about Sienna Miller right now. [I’m Not Obsessed]
Lindsay Lohan has spent $1.4 million in legal fees. [IDLITW]

Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux did their Christmas cards together. [LaineyGossip]
Are these Brad Pitt quotes new? I think he‘s said this before. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
This video of a big sister calming down her baby sister is awesome. [Videogum]
How is JWoww‘s bikini top staying on?!? [Amy Grindhouse]
Elisabetta Canalis versus Stacy Keibler: who looks better? [Moe Jackson]
Pres. Obama did some Christmas shopping for Bo & the girls. [Jezebel]
Kris Humphries got booed like crazy at the Nets game. [Bossip]
Prince William busts a move. [The Frisky]
The Cracken is in NYC now. Watch out, NY Celebitches. [Radar]
All about Britney Spears‘ $92,000 engagement ring. [Life & Style]
Kanye West will FREAK OUT if you throw your business card on stage. [PopBytes]
Eva Longoria gets a Ken Paves blowout. [Hollywood Rag]
A billionaire‘s daughter got herself an $88 million dorm room in NYC. [LimeLife]
The UK bans Taylor Swift‘s Covergirl ads. [Celebs]
These LOLBabies are really cute. [CityRag]
Honor Alba-Warren is getting a Barbie Mustang convertible! [Bitten and Bound]
Look at how huge Gisele & Tom Brady‘s house is. [Starpulse]

Blake Lively is spending the holidays in Canada, with her Canadian lover, Ryan Reynolds. God, they‘re so boring. [LaineyGossip]
EW. Ew. Gross. [Dlisted]
Daniel Carlson didn‘t care for Fincher‘s Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. [Pajiba]
Drew Barrymore is still loved up with Will Kopelman. [Pop Sugar]
Heidi Klum is a pantsless Mrs. Klaus. [Celebuzz]
Kate Beckinsale should do Playboy. [Yeeeah]
Newt Gingrich to gay people: Just vote for Obama and STFU. [Gawker]
Amber Heard is getting pap‘d a lot these days. [INFDaily]
Vanessa Hudgens‘ lips look weird. [The Blemish]
Diva tribute to Amy Winehouse. [Evil Beet]
Prince Harry is definitely going back to Afghanistan. [A Socialite Life]
LaLa Anthony dresses like a Kardashian. [Go Fug Yourself]
OMG LOOK AT HER PANTS. [ICYDK]
David Beckham is signing with a French team. Oh la la. [CDAN]
This poor boy can‘t really dance, but he thinks he can. [OMG Blog]
Happy holidays, Hamm Dong. [I’m Not Obsessed]
Are you excited to see The Finder? Meh. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Jess was worried about Gerard Butler too. [IDLITW]
Ashton Kutcher is renting a bachelor pad for $50,000 a month. [Celebslam]

Should Bridesmaids get a Best Picture Oscar nom? Mm… no. It was funny, sure, but it wasn‘t one of the best movies of the year or anything. But don‘t listen to me, X-Men: First Class was one of my favorite films of the year. [Jezebel]
Sandra Bullock‘s son is a little ladies‘ man. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
The Atlanta Braves are taking on Pixar. [Videogum]
Amber Portwood is in jail. [Amy Grindhouse]
Breaking news: Camilla Belle is boring, irrelevant. [Moe Jackson]
More Terrence Howard foolishness. He needs to STFU. [Bossip]
There‘s a cameltoe app. Srsly. [The Frisky]
Kobe Bryant is focused on the Lakers and his daughters. In that order. [Radar]
Emily Maynard to be the new Bachelorette? [Life & Style]
Khloe Kardashian is looking forward to the move to Dallas. [PopBytes]
Kellan Lutz is being Lutzy in Aspen. [Hollywood Rag]
1 in 13 girls has had group sex. Sigh… [LimeLife]
James Cameron sued for $2.5 BILLION. [Celebs]
OMG HOVERBALL KITTEH. [CityRag]
Jon Bon Jovi isn‘t dead, y‘all. [Bitten and Bound]
Angelina Jolie Q&A. [Starpulse]

I disagree with Lainey – I think it‘s kind of cute that Prince Albert does a traditional holiday swim with his subjects. He‘s not too “fancy” for it. [LaineyGossip]
Poor North Korea. [Dlisted]
I disagree with this assessment of Dexter too! I‘m very contrarian today. [Pajiba]
Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux drive home separately after dinner. [Pop Sugar]
Daniel Radcliffe will host an episode of Saturday Night Live. [Celebuzz]
Emmy Rossum‘s face looks interesting here. [Yeeeah]
Have you ever been arrested? Chances are, you have. (I haven‘t.) [Gawker]
Britney Spears‘s engagement bandage dress. [INFDaily]
Horrible photos of Chloe Sevigny. [The Blemish]
Justin Bieber equates Santa Claus to God. [Evil Beet]
I can see Nicole Kidman‘s lips from here. [A Socialite Life]
Helen Mirren‘s other weekend outfit – this one was ridiculous. [Go Fug Yourself]
Willow Smith‘s new music video for “Fireball”. [ICYDK]
Matt LeBlanc is one of those gross dudes hitting on you at the bar. [CDAN]
Marc Jacobs has a new lover, and I‘m getting a sketchy vibe. [OMG Blog]
Joe Jonas was rushed to the hospital. [I’m Not Obsessed]
Charlie Sheen is on vacation with Denise Richards & the kids. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Bruce Willis is a big tipper. Nice. [IDLITW]
Justin Theroux proposing this Christmas? [Celebslam]

****Site Announcement: For the next two weeks, CB, Bedhead and I are doing “holiday hours” – fewer posts, basically. We’ll still be around for breaking gossip news and if there’s something you want us to cover, please email or tweet us!

Christopher Hitchens, writer, intellectual, critic, scoundrel, wit and blowhard has lost his battle with esophageal cancer. Hitch, 1949-2011. [Vanity Fair]
Christopher Hitchens videos, including his diatribes against religion. [IDLITW]
Christopher Hitchens’ Unforgivable Mistake. [Gawker]
Blind items! Clooney, Jolie & Pitt threesome? Kind of hot. [Dlisted]
Lainey‘s right-on with this Christian Bale story. [LaineyGossip]
Discussion of The Hunger Games trilogy, book-to-film. [Pajiba]
Dame Gwyneth Paltrow partied with Prince Harry last night. [Pop Sugar]
This pic of Jamie Oliver was taken on the set of Deliverance. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Preview of Rob Lowe as Drew Peterson in Lifetime’s Untouchable. OMG. [Videogum]
GAH! I love The New Girl so much. [Celebuzz]
Tom Hardy mumbles a lot throughout The Dark Knight Rises. [The Blemish]
I don‘t mind a pop culture reference, at long as it‘s topical. [Evil Beet]
Ashley Tisdale got dumped, so she changed her hair. [A Socialite Life]
Why is Princess Charlene always wearing beige? [Go Fug Yourself]
Hugh Hefner is basically calling Lindsay Lohan a crackie. Basically. [Amy Grindhouse]
Amy Childs: Really, who gives a s–t? Who IS she? [Moe Jackson]
Diablo Cody defends her heroine, and I like her more because of it. [Jezebel]
God, Sofia Vergara has a really nice ass. [Bossip]
The “Ali Lohan is scary skinny” photos of the day. [Celebslam]