Zara Phillips and Mike Tindall went through with it! And there were no “Princess Charlene” moment where the bride attempted to flee to another country in tears. Thank God. The bride wore a gown by Stewart Parvin – exposed arms! NOES! That’s so not royal, but I guess they made an exception for Zara. Maybe because she’s not a princess and because the whole wedding took place in Scotland, not Westminster or something? Perhaps. Here’s more about the wedding:

Zara Phillips, Prince William’s cousin who is 13th in line to the throne, and Mike Tindall, captain of England’s rugby team, were married on a glorious, sunny day in historic Edinburgh Saturday.

The 3 p.m. ceremony took place at Canongate Kirk, a small Church of Scotland venue where the Queen worships when she stays in Edinburgh. The modest church dates back to 1688.

The bride made her arrival at a fashionably late six minutes past the hour in an ivory silk and duchess satin gown by Stewart Parvin – the personal couturier to the Queen – and a silk tulle cathedral veil. She carried a huge bouquet of cream-colored flowers and accessorized with Jimmy Choo shoes and a tiara on loan from Princess Anne. Tindall wore a suit adorned with coattails and a light grey stripe on the trouser legs.

Guests began arriving at 1 p.m. via private coach bus, and the women were resplendent with colorful hats and fancy fascinators.

Princess Beatrice was among the first guests to arrive, wearing a turquoise hat with matching floral dress. Prince William and wife Kate (who wore a cream suit and matching hat) pulled up right afterwards in a black Jaguar. Princess Anne and her husband Tim Laurence followed and then another car brought Prince Charles and Camilla, also dressed in cream.

The guests posed for the throngs of people lining the narrow cobblestone streets, while Queen Elizabeth, in a dignified peach dress and hat, and Prince Phillip smiled to the crowd upon their arrival.

At the bride’s request, the Gordonstoun Chamber Choir – the student chorus from the Scottish private school she attended – sang at the ceremony, performing the “Gaelic Blessing” and then “Amazing Grace” at the signing of the register.

The reception will be held at the Palace of Holyroodhouse, the Queen’s residence not far from the church. Zara spent many school holidays visiting her grandmother there. The use of the venue (which is being closed to the public for five days) is valued at an estimated $60,000. It will cost a reported $800,000 to police the wedding, and marksmen are expected at vantage points to protect the royal guests.

With guests expected to number no more than 300, the couple looked forward to a private, family affair. “My wedding will be nothing like Kate and William’s. For a start, there won’t be anywhere near as many people. It will be a lot smaller, just close family and friends. Kate and William’s wedding was amazing but ours will be very different,” Phillips told Hello Magazine.

[From People]

As you can see from the photos, Duchess Kate recycled outfits for both the pre-wedding party (in green Diane Von Furstenburg) and for the wedding (a suit that Kate first wore in 2006). Any thoughts on Kate wearing such a light color to another woman’s wedding? Eh. Are the rules different in the UK? Because I would never wear something so light to a wedding. Of course, I can’t pull off these kinds of hats either.

PS… I love the Queen in pink. She looks so cute!

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame.

One of my favorite things about a big royal story – like the wedding – is that British celebrities are often called on to “explain” the royal family to America. I saw a recent interview with Helen Mirren where she was trying to explain her republican politics while still being respectful about the royal family. Robert Pattinson also was called upon to discuss the royal family, and he seemed to identify with Kate Middleton, of course. Then, there are people like Morrissey. Morrissey hates his homeland, and he hates America and he hates pretty much every country except Morrissey-Land. Note: we covered Morrissey’s last controversy, where he referred to the Chinese people as a “subspecies” and then refused to apologize for it. So he gave an interview to BBC Radio 4, and he went off on the royal family:

Morrissey once sang “the Queen is dead.” Looks like he wouldn’t have been too upset had the metaphor been reality.

The legendary rocker, first of seminal 80′s band The Smiths and now a well into a prominent solo career, has been nothing if not outspoken since rising to stardom, often taking on contemporary English society. With the Royal Wedding just a day away, Morrissey shot out at his nation’s ceremonial rulers.

“Why would I watch the wedding? I couldn’t take any of that seriously,” he said in an interview with BBC Radio 4. “I don’t think the so-called Royal family speak for England now, and I don’t think England needs them.

“I do seriously believe that they are benefit scroungers, nothing else,” he continued. “I don’t believe they serve any purpose whatsoever. I’m not an anarchist, but I believe that people don’t want the Royal family — the so-called Royal family. They’re not royal to me, but they’re royal to the media for some reason.”

In his 1986 epic “The Queen Is Dead,” which launched the album of the same name, Morrissey shot broadsides against the family. Addressing Prince Charles, who was then recently married to Princess Diana, he sang, “I said Charles, don’t you ever crave/ to appear on the front of the Daily Mail/ dressed in your Mother’s bridal veil?”

In 2006, Morrissey, who has lived in Los Angeles since the mid-90′s and sang “London is dead” in the song “Glamorous Glue,” said of Charles, “The very idea of Charles being King is laughable. You might as well say that Ronnie Corbett will be king one day. I think that would give people more pleasure.” Corbett is a Scottish comedian who stands just five foot one.

[From HuffPo]

In the scope of Morrissey’s greatest racist, misanthropic hits, this interview sounds kind of subdued. I actually imagine there are quite a few British people who would agree with him.

If you want to hear Morrissey’s words for yourself, there’s audio here, at the BBC. I found a partial clip of the interview on YouTube, but since I didn’t want to listen to the whole damn thing, I don’t know for sure if this includes his royal family comments. I do know that towards the 5:40 mark, he talks about David Cameron. At the 9 minute mark he starts bashing Britain as being too-American.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Prince Harry made it a whole two days in New York without messing up once. The New York visit, on Friday and Saturday, was Harry’s first official state visit, and Harry revealed that he chose New York City because the city meant so much to his mother, Princess Diana. The royal schedulers kept Harry moving around constantly, and he carried out, by my count, six royal appearances plus a polo match. Even though being a prince is Harry’s “job,” I’d still like to give him a little round of applause for making it through the trip without any gaffes. As a matter of fact, he seemed to have been completely well-received by New Yorkers, and he seemed to love them right back.

The Daily Mail has a rundown of the major hits on Prince Harry’s tour, but they left out a couple of little appearances Harry made on Friday. MSNBC had coverage of Harry’s meeting with firefighters at the Manhattan firehouse across the street from Ground Zero (it houses Engine 10 and Ladder 10), and those guys seemed totally thrilled he was there. Guess who else love the Ginger Prince? Madonna and Jesus Luz, who made a public outing to the polo match. I wonder if Madonna did her fake English accent for Harry? Maybe she’s faking a Brazilian accent now:

Celebrities flocked to see Prince Harry play in a polo match in New York Saturday. Madonna and on/off lover Jesus Luz, actresses Kate Hudson and Chloe Sevigny and rapper LL Cool J were among the crowd at the Veuve Clicquot Manhattan Polo Classic. Designer Marc Jacobs was there too.

The prince hoped to raise £100,000 for the American Friends of Sentebale, the US arm of his charity that supports Aids orphans in Lesotho. Harry’s team won the match 6-5, and they celebrated afterwards by popping champagne.

Harry was casual in a navy blue blazer, an open-collared shirt and white jeans, and loafers. Members of the public were invited to watch the polo match, in which Harry would face off against the Argentine polo player and heartthrob Nacho Figueras.

Earlier, Prince Harry thrilled pupils at a New York community centre.

The 24-year-old Royal joined youngsters at Harlem Children’s Zone, which works with 8,000 disadvantaged children, in an energetic obstacle course.

Harry, whose father Prince Charles visited the centre two years ago, was accompanied by his friend Prince Seeiso of Lesotho, co-founder of Harry’s children’s charity Sentebale.

On seeing the course, Harry exclaimed: ‘We have to do that!’ and set off on an impromptu race against the African prince.

After running through hurdles, Harry beat Prince Seeiso to grabbing a balloon and sitting on it, popping it loudly to finish the course and raising his arms in victory.

Speaking later, Harry vowed to continue his work for Sentebale – the New York trip is partly to raise funds for the charity, which cares for orphans in Lesotho.

He said: ‘It’s been a fantastic trip. Really, really worthwhile for Sentebale especially.’

During the fourth engagement of his two-day visit to New York, Harry also joined 13 pupils sitting a maths test. Harry, who stood at the back of the class, confided to 16-year-old pupil Brandon Black that he was always bottom of the class.

‘I was always the worst,’ he said as he tried to help with the test. ‘Which one’s easier, maths or science?’

‘Maths!’ replied Brandon, to which Harry grimaced and put his head in his hands.

The Prince proved a hit with the children, who had been awaiting the Royal visit for weeks. Khalil Davis, ten, who was preparing African rice as part of a Ugandan-themed meal, said: ‘Harry’s pretty cool. He’s helping people in Africa with Aids and HIV.’

Harry revealed that he chose New York to make his first official state visit because it was a city his mother loved. Diana visited a hospital in Harlem in 1989, where she was photographed holding a baby with Aids.

Harry said: ‘Prince Seeiso and I both lost our mothers when we were young. We set up Sentebale in their memory and, because my mother loved this city, it makes this occasion all the more poignant for me.’

Harry, who is training with the Army Air Corps, was given leave from his military duties to carry out the state visit.

The trip was paid for personally by the Queen, who is understood to have wanted to avoid taxpayers footing the bill in the current economic climate.

Harry began his engagements by keeping a minute’s silence as he laid a wreath at Ground Zero, before meeting families who had lost loved ones on 9/11.

In a handwritten note signed ‘Harry’, he said: ‘In respectful memory of those who lost their lives on Sept 11 2001 and in admiration of the courage shown by the people of this great city on that day.’

He also planted a magnolia tree in the British Garden at Hanover Square and visited the Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Manhattan, meeting soldiers who had lost limbs in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan, where he himself has served.

[From The Daily Mail]

All in all, a great trip for Harry and a great way to rehabilitate his image. In the past year alone, Harry’s caused so much grief after tapes were released of him using racial slurs. And that’s not even mentioning that old incident from 2005 with him in the Nazi uniform. But let’s not harp on about the past, Harry did a good job. He was solemn when he needed to be and charming when he needed to be. Much like Diana, I think Harry is really at home when he gets to be around kids. In another world – without royalty – Harry’s goal in life might be some kind of coach or teacher, he seems to enjoy being around kids so much. The palace should take note, and give him royal duties that have a lot of work with children. Here’s hoping.

Prince Harry is shown playing polo on 5/30/09. He is also shown at the official naming of the British Gardens at Hanover Square in New York on 5/29/09. Credit: Anthony Dixon / WENN.com

According to the Daily Mail, Katie Price (I think that’s what she likes to be called nowadays) was invited to have lunch with the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh at Buckingham Palace. The palace regularly sets up luncheons with guest lists including “people representing a cross-section of society, the arts, sport, academia and the media.” Where exactly does Katie fall in here? Too classless for society, too trashy for the arts, too slutty for sports, and too dumb for academia.

The invitation came on the heels of Katie being barred from a presigious VIP champagne luncheon at a polo match because she was “too chavvy.”

A year ago she was barred from the prestigious Cartier International Polo contest at Windsor because she was deemed ‘too chavvy’.

But topless model turned TV star Katie ‘Jordan’ Price may have had the last laugh – an invitation to dine at Buckingham Palace, no less.

Miss Price claimed yesterday that she was asked to lunch at the royal residence. Unfortunately she was forced to turn it down because she and her husband, singer Peter Andre, are in America filming a reality television series.

But sources close to the star say she is a big fan of the Queen and is hopeful of receiving another invitation sometime soon.

[From Daily Mail]

Katie claims that she and Princess Anne have a shared love of horses, and she has also gotten an invite to the her home for some tea and crumpets. She says, “Even Princess Anne knows how much I love horses and has invited me to her house to watch polo. I’ll definitely go for lunch with her, so my Princess can meet a real-life princess.”

Last we saw Katie, she was getting smashed at a pub while training for the London marathon. Not the kind of behavior that gets you invited to the royal palace. On the other hand, in recent years British royalty has been trying to become more accessible to the public, and there was quite a bit of hooplah about Katie’s non-invite to the polo event, so perhaps this is some kind of damage control. That is, if Katie is telling the truth. It’s not as if she is lacking in funds – you’d think that she’d be able to hop a plane to the UK for a day. Wouldn’t dining with the Queen be worth the jet lag?

Here’s Katie Price and husband Peter Andre leaving their Manhattan hotel on Saturday. Images thanks to WENN .

By now, most people have already seen or heard about the incident. It’s an image that was plastered over news shows for a full day – the image of First Lady Michelle Obama and Queen Elizabeth with their arms around each other. The Queen has her hand on the small of Michelle’s back, and Michelle has reached over and put her arm across the Queen’s shoulders. But what about the “no touching” protocol? Won’t anyone think about the protocol? It’s scandalous!

There’s some late-breaking news about all of this. Various sources (American and British) are saying that the Queen was the one to break protocol first. Allegedly, the Queen and Michelle were standing very close together when the Queen commented on how incredibly tall Michelle is. As the Queen spoke, she reached over and touched Michelle’s back, letting her hand rest on the small of her back. Then Michelle reached over to embrace the Queen as they spoke. Glad that’s settled. The Daily Mail has a version of these events:

She is not renowned for public displays of affection. Which made the Queen’s decision to put a friendly arm around Michelle Obama’s waist at a Buckingham Palace G20 reception – prompting the U.S. President’s wife to return the gesture – so utterly astonishing.

Finding herself next to Mrs Obama, the Queen remarked on their height difference. As she did so, her hand edged towards the small of Mrs Obama’s back. Mrs Obama responded – and even rubbed the Queen’s shoulder – before both women moved gently apart after about ten seconds.

The sight of the Queen publicly hugging another woman astonished other guests. An onlooker said: ‘It was a pretty simultaneous gesture. We couldn’t believe what we were seeing.’

It was an electrifying moment of palpable majesté: A breach of centuries-long protocol when the friendly and outgoing Michelle Obama put her arm round the Queen.

It now appears, however, that it may have been the Queen who made the initial move. In any case, it was the first time that anyone can remember in her long public life that she has put her arm around another woman.

‘A mutual and spontaneous display of affection and appreciation,’ was how a Buckingham Palace spokesman hastened to describe it.

But the protocol concerning the sovereign has been set in stone for generations. ‘Whatever you do,’ courtiers are apt to warn, ‘don’t touch the Queen.’

From The Daily Mail

Ah, so everybody had a good freak-out and now it’s over. Hopefully. The Queen looked so small next to the Obamas. Perhaps the Queen simply doesn’t care about protocols anymore, and she just wanted a cool American girlfriend.

It seems the Queen wasn’t the only one who wanted to be Best Friends Forever with Michelle. The First Lady spent several hours on Thursday visiting a girls’ school in London. Footage from the event made me cry, I will admit that freely. The girls’ school has a 90% minority enrollment – a lot of those girls looked a lot like Sasha and Malia. The girls were so pleased to be performing for Michelle, and so many seemed overwhelmed to meet her. The Daily Mail has more:

There were hordes of screaming girls jostling to meet her – the sort of welcome usually reserved for pop stars. Michelle Obama proved a huge hit yesterday as she visited a London girls’ school for the first solo outing of her trip to Britain.

The U.S. First Lady was nearly knocked off her feet with adoration at the Elizabeth Garrett Anderson Language College in North London. But far from being overwhelmed, she wrapped her arms around pupils and punched the air in appreciation as they performed.

She tapped her feet through dance performances and watched intently during a modern-day staging of The Tempest. Bringing a very American feel to the occasion she applauded with hands held high and high-fived one pupil before taking to the podium for her own motivational speech.

At Elizabeth Garrett Anderson School, some 55 languages are spoken by around 1,000 pupils, with about two-thirds of the girls speaking English as a second language. The school prides itself on helping disadvantaged girls succeed.

Mrs Obama, a graduate of Harvard Law School, choked up as she told her rapt audience the world needs ‘strong women’. She said: ‘I am an example of what is possible when girls from the very beginning of their lives are loved and nurtured by people around them.’

‘I was surrounded by extraordinary women in my life who taught me about quiet strength and dignity. You too can control your own destiny, please remember that. Whether you come from a council estate or a country estate, your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude.’

Her speech inspired more screams from her attentive audience. Before she left, she stopped to hug as many pupils as she could and was mobbed by excited girls as she leaned over the stage to greet as many as possible.

Sabrina Chowdhury, 16, was one of the first to get an embrace from Mrs Obama. She said: ‘Her speech was spectacular. There are so many girls in our school who need that kind of motivation. It moved us to tears. When she came in it was like the room lifted.’

From The Daily Mail

Michelle also told the girlsthat President Obama “is going to be very jealous of my afternoon. He’s meeting with important people, but it’s not as much fun as being here.” She ended her speech, directing an emotional word to the staff and the students – “These girls are terrific. The school is phenomenal, and you all should be very proud of what you have created … You are precious and you touch my heart… you touch my heart.” And yes, people are already comparing Michelle Obama to Princess Diana. I think it’s all the hugging and crying. All I know is that I need a tissue.

Here is footage of Michelle visiting the school:

Photos from the Obamas visit with the Queen are thanks to WENN.com. Header image from Timesonline

Many of us have someone, often in their family, who we feel competitive with. This is often fueled by comparisons people make, sometimes well-intentioned and sometimes not. For example my grandmother recently described my cousin as ‘fat’, and commented on how successful her sister had been losing the baby weight. Said cousin was still pregnant at the time.

This is bad enough, but can you imagine being pitted against a pretty, glamorous relative on a global scale? Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, says that the media’s cruelty to her contributed to her eating issues. She doesn’t say that comparisons to Princess Diana made it worse, but that’s what I got from her comments:

‘It’s pretty hard to change people’s perceptions,’ she says. And, back then, it really mattered to her what people thought. She said she’d read headlines such as princess of pork or 82 per cent of men say they’d rather sleep with a goat than Fergie, and she’d take them all to heart. ‘I just believed they were true,’ she says. ‘I was so unhappy I ate all the time, and then I was pilloried for being overweight, and on the cycle went. I didn’t know how to break it.’

Telegraph

Wikipedia notes that Princess Diana was noted for her ‘compassion, style, charisma, and high-profile charity work, as well as her difficult marriage to Prince Charles’. Despite Sarah’s charity work, she is best known for her Weight Watchers endorsements and friendly relationship with her ex-husband. Sarah and Diana were friends and talked about their public image, says Sarah.

“I remember quite clearly Diana saying to me: ‘Well, it’s easier for you. I’m at the top of the pedestal, and I have only one way to go. You are at the bottom, so you can really only go up.”‘

Sydney Morning Herald

Wow, that must have made Fergie feel much better, having the Queen-in-waiting try and cheer her on. Although maybe that kind of stiff upper lip attitude is how they do it in Britain.

Despite being a public figure in Britain, which has the most vicious tabloid newspapers in the world, Fergie says she’d do it all over again, but better.

You have to think of the Royal family as being like a brand, yah? There are CEOs protecting the brand, and I didn’t really fit in. Maybe if I’d had an adviser to lead me through it all I would have weathered it a bit better. I wish I had done it differently. I wish I could do it all over again.’

‘Really?’ I ask her. After all the criticism and ridicule, she’d still go back into the public eye, despite knowing how potentially difficult it all is? ‘Oh, yes,’ she says enthusiastically. ‘I’d still marry Andrew, of course. He is a wonderful man. I’d just deal with it better. I’d ride the storms. I’d see that what is said about me is here one day and gone the next. At the time I thought I had failed. Now I think I was successful in a way, successful at failing.’

Telegraph

That’s one way to turn failure on it’s head, by declaring it a success at failing. Sarah has managed to raise two children who have yet to be photographed in a compromising manner (exiting clubs, yes, but not doing anything notable), raise funds for charity and maintain a good relationship with her ex-husband. She is also a producer on a new film starring Emily Blunt, The Young Victoria.

Sarah Ferguson is shown on 12/6/08 and 11/29/08 signing copies of her children’s book Tea for Ruby. Credit: WENN

As an American, I know I shouldn’t care about European royalty. I should be focused on the rigorous study of America’s founding fathers – and the founding mothers, but more research needs to be done about them. There’s something about royalty, though, that peaks my interest. Especially when it involves commoners and royals, palace intrigue and the struggle of feminism versus tradition. Sigh… and I just love princesses.

Such it is for the Crown Princess of Sweden. Princess Victoria has been with Daniel Westling for seven years! Seven long years with the gym owner and commoner. That’s longer than Kate Middleton has been waiting for Prince William to propose! It seems like the Swedish people have finally come around to their beloved crown princess marrying a commoner, and a gym owner at that. Princess Victoria just announced her engagement to Daniel – in an internet clip! The Daily Telegraph has more:

Sweden’s Crown Princess Victoria has announced her engagement to a former fitness trainer after a seven-year romance. The 31-year-old daughter of King Carl XVI Gustaf and Queen Silvia will marry Daniel Westling, the owner of a chain of fitness centres in Stockholm, next year.

The smiling princess told her future subjects via a video clip on the internet that she and her fiancé would now prepare to start a family.

Seated with Daniel, the king, and her mother Queen Silvia, she addressed the Swedish people directly. “With Daniel by my side I feel safe. You have surely seen that in recent years I have grown stronger and happier, and now we can begin preparations to start our own lives and start a family,” Victoria said.

The news immediately topped media broadcasts across the Scandinavian country, where the royal family is hugely popular. The palace announced the nuptials after the king informed Prime Minister Fredrik Reinfeldt and his government.

“In connection with the wedding Mr. Westling will be invested with the title Prince Daniel, Duke of Vaestergoetland,” the palace said.

Westling, 35, met the princess in 2002 when she began working out at one of his gyms in the capital. He owns two luxury by-invitation-only gyms as well as several high-end fitness centres in Stockholm.

The brown-eyed princess with long brown hair is admired both at home and abroad for her natural ease with people, her broad smile and the popular impression she makes in her duties representing Sweden despite her relative youth.

She has spent most of her adult years preparing for her future role as regent with a specially-tailored education, which has included two years of studies at Yale University in the United States, stints at the United Nations, the European Union, and internships with the Swedish government and military.

During the internet announcement, her fiancé said his most important task was to “support the crown princess in her important duties for Sweden … In time, I hope that I too can help serve Sweden in various ways.”

Victoria and Daniel are often seen running errands or visiting cafés in Stockholm.
Her casual, down-to-earth style has made her very popular among Swedes – her love of nature is well-known and she is often seen sporting jeans and sneakers, her long dark hair in a ponytail.

Daniel, who comes from a middle class family in the small town of Ockelbo, however received a chillier reception from Swedes, at least initially. Media criticised him for his preppy, slick appearance and accused him of arrogance, and questioned whether a gym owner was an appropriate spouse for a future queen.

She was not born crown princess but Sweden’s royal succession law was changed after the birth of her brother.

From The Daily Telegraph

I’ve actually read quite a bit about Princess Victoria and Daniel – their relationship was Swedish tabloid fodder for several years. But they stuck with each other for seven years, and I guess Daniel just grew on everybody through perseverance.

As far as the whole “the gym owner becomes a king” – why not? The seem to really love each other. In any case, Victoria’s younger sister, the “beauty” of the family, Princess Madeline is the real spark plug. Madeline’s the tabloid star, and whoever she marries, it will a bigger tabloid story.

Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden and Daniel Westling are shown announcing their engagement on 2/24/09. Thanks to WENN for these photos

Sometimes I’m happy America doesn’t have a royal family, but then I check out the two princes, one a hot ginger and one a hot blond. These boys are enough to make me a royalist.

The big news across the pond is Prince William’s new, hot, scraggy beard. He debuted the beard during a Naval exercise, and decided to keep it for the holidays. But fear not, beard-haters! Apparently, Prince William doesn’t care for it, and a clean shave is required for his next assignment with the RAF.

The 26-year-old Prince grew the facial hair during a recent 10-day exercise in Barbados with the Navy’s Special Boat Service. He returned a week ago but appears so enamoured of his new look that he has yet to shave it off.

He was photographed on a pheasant shoot at the Queen’s Sandringham estate in Norfolk with his brother, Prince Harry, and girlfriend Kate Middleton. Rules on facial hair in the Armed Forces differ according to the service. The Royal Navy allows a full beard – although no moustaches, goatees or ‘designer stubble’ – if permission is sought from a commanding officer.

It is believed that the Prince’s beard was an attempt to disguise his identity during the SBS mission. He is also following family tradition, as the Prince of Wales grew a beard while on Naval exercises in Alaska in 1975.

However, beards are banned in the RAF and the Prince must be clean-shaven when he reports for duty next month to commence an 18-month training course to qualify as a search and rescue pilot.

[From Telegraph.co.uk]

I’m actually not a beard hater – some men look better with something going on in the beard/goatee area. Unfortunately, Prince William is not one of them. But that doesn’t mean Britain can’t have a little beard freak-out, right? Apparently, some newspapers are already doing polling on it.

In other royal news, oddsmakers are still trying to make some money on the never-ending speculation of a royal wedding between Kate Middleton and Prince William. A 2009 royal proposal has 11/8 odds. That’s good for Middleton, right?

Britain’s Prince William proposing to girlfriend Kate Middleton in 2009 has odds of 11/8, according to bookmakers William Hill. The British public thinks the likelihood of the 26-year-old royal – who has been dating Kate since 2003, after the pair met at Scotland’s University of St Andrews – asking the brunette beauty to marry him are very likely.

In September, it was claimed William will not get engaged to Kate for at least another 18 months, and would have to speak with several members of the royal family and the government before going down on one knee, according to a senior member of the Royal Household.

The source said: “There is a lot of planning involved in a royal engagement announcement of a member of the family as senior as Prince William. “A number of high-profile people have to be informed formally, and the couple have to be introduced to the Prime Minister of the day, among others. All this takes time. As far as I am aware I cannot see there being an engagement between the prince and Miss. Middleton for at least 18 months.”

William’s hopeful marriage prospects are not the only ones in the royal family. William Hill have revealed Prince Harry proposing to his Zimbabwe-born girlfriend Chelsy Davy has odds of 6/1, while Prince Andrew – who was previously married to Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York – getting engaged has odds of 50/1. William Hill spokesperson Rupert Adams said: “Every year there are a couple of big odds winners from the bets!”

[From Monsters and Critics]

I don’t think either prince will get engaged this year. Prince Harry won’t because he’s the wild one, and wild ones don’t settle down at twenty-four. But I suspect Prince William won’t get engaged because, as it turns out, he’s probably a lot like his father. Meaning he just can’t make up his mind about marriage and about Kate Middleton. If I was a betting woman, I’d put money on Kate finally dumping him for good in 2009 – if she’s smart. But maybe she thinks that she’s waited so long, maybe another year being The Royal Girlfriend is good enough. Poor Kate.

Prince William is shown attending church on Christmas day. Credit: BARM/Fame Pictures

There are obviously some pretty awesome perks to being a member of the royal family. But there’s also a downside – at least by most people’s standards. You have to be very polite at social dinners. You have to be careful what you say. And if Paris Hilton wants to hang out with you, you probably have to do it. Most of us could deal with a little polite chitchat over lobster. It’d be stuffy and formal, but I think we could adapt. But I really don’t feel like even the average person could handle 30 seconds of chatting about pink things and cell phone jewelry with Paris Hilton.

Unfortunately for Prince William, he got stuck hanging out with Paris Hilton on Wednesday night. Of all the royal duties, both official and unofficial, acting like you’re having a good time with Paris has got to be one of the very most challenging. The British press is acting like they’ve caught Will doing something naughty, but I think he probably just lost a bet with Prince Harry and this was the punishment.

Oh dear, he WILL be in trouble when Kate Middleton finds out her Prince Charming spent the night getting Dirrty with two showgirls. We watched Prince William snuggle up to pop star Christina Aguilera and socialite Paris Hilton in the VIP room at Whisky Mist in London’s Mayfair. The night was a right royal knees-up. We got there at midnight to see Wills, 26, and Prince Harry, 24, necking vodka cocktails and singing cheesy pop songs…

[Pairs] tried to cosy up to him on the couch and he even turned his shoulder and started talking to a mystery blonde on his right. But when that girl went to the loo, Paris moved in. We were about to rush to William’s rescue, then we saw they were swapping phone numbers…

Half an hour later we saw Paris apply more lipgloss, while asking Wills: “Does this look OK?” Not the best chat-up line, but it seemed to work. Wills was glued to her side or the rest of the night. When Christina [Aguilera] sidled over on her way out at 2.30am, a miffed Jordan [Bratman] moaned to his missus: “You’ve already said bye – and SHE’S with him.”

As the lights came on at 3.15am, the royal bodyguards tried to round up the Princes. But Wills was reluctant to go. “Make sure she [Paris] gets out of here OK,” he ordered one flunkey.

[From the Mirror]

The Mirror says there was also an embarrassing incident when Wills went over to Christina Aguilera’s table to say hello, but her minder didn’t believe he was who he said he was. Apparently it took some convincing, but the prince eventually got a chance to chat with the singer, until Paris came along and made the whole evening about her.

The Mirror makes it sound like the prince was into Paris, but I’m assuming that’s just for a good story. I can’t imagine he could be interested in her as anything but a joke. Obviously he has a girlfriend, but even if he didn’t, Paris is about as tacky as you could get. Though she does already have several tiaras, so maybe it would be a good fit after all.

Here’s Prince William and Paris Hilton hitting the party scene at Whisky Mist in London on Wednesday night. Images thanks to WENN and Bauer-Griffin.

Prince Charles committed quite the royal accident recently when he invited Dita Von Teese to perform at Prince Harry’s upcoming birthday party in September. Charles met her at a Cartier event, and had no idea who she was – other than a “dancer” as she put it. Thinking she was pretty – and she does appear very classy – he said Harry loved dancers and suggested she perform. Once he’d been informed by his aids about exactly what kind of dancing Dita does, he “his fist to within an inch of its knuckle.”

The generously-eared royal [Prince Charles] met the gothic flasher at the toff-infested Cartier International Polo Tournament at the Guards Club in Windsor, London. Charmed by her alabaster assets, he asked what she did for a living and Dita, 35, replied: “I’m a dancer.” This vague job description failed to convey that her act involves giving a rhythmic biology lesson in a giant martini glass and doing the sort of things to a massive olive which are illegal in most countries.

Perhaps buoyed by the sun and Pimms and presuming her performance involved a cheeky Charleston, Chazza invited her to perform at Prince Harry’s 24th birthday. Our man said: “Poor Charles was so embarrassed when he realised what he’d done. He genuinely had no idea about her raunchy stage act. She was stunned when he suggested the idea, explaining that his son loved a good dance.

“But he gnawed his fist to within an inch of its knuckle when his aides explained what sort of dancing she did for a living.” We’re sure Prince Harry will forgive his old man when the burlesque performer toasts his big day with a giant glass of champagne garnished with her own breasties.

[From the Daily Star]

It’s hard to tell just how accurate this story is, but it certainly seems like the kind of mishap that could legitimately take place. Prince Charles doesn’t exactly strike me as someone who is super up-to-date and current on the hot celebrities. Though one would think he would have someone apologize to Dita Von Teese and cancel her performance. As interesting as that would be, I think it could make for quite the royal scandal. And they really don’t need any more of those.

Here’s Dita Von Teese and Prince Charles (with his wine powered Aston Martin – coolest thing ever) at the Cartier International Polo tournament in London on Sunday. Images thanks to WENN.