The Family Jolie-Pitt has made several outings over the past week, but we haven’t had access to any of those photos unfortunately. Go here to see photos of Angelina, Brad, Knox and Vivienne on Valentine’s Day last week – Knox has completely morphed into his father’s Mini-Me. And a few days before that, Angelina was seen out with Pax and Empress Zahara. As for these pics… no Angelina, no Brad. Just Empress Z and Shiloh out with a nanny-type and some other kids. According to Fame/Flynet, they were out for yogurt. Here is what we can determine from the photos:

*Shiloh prefers black cargo pants and what looks like oversized slippers.

*Leopard-print leggings are going to be HUGE this year if Empress Z approves.

*Purple hoodies are also going to have a great year. I want one!!!

*Converse lace-up boots (or whatever) are the next big thing.

*Shi has a boo-boo on her forehead, probably because she loves to rough-house with her brothers. Zahara also seems to have a bruise under her right eye. It must have been a hell of brawl!

*Shi’s shaggy Mick-Jagger-in-the-‘70s haircut is AMAZING.

*Shiloh is starting to look more like Angelina, I think. Her lips are becoming more prominent as her face loses the baby-fat.

*It’s always a good day for yogurt!!!

Sigh… I love these two!!! I love it when Z and Shiloh hang out.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Wow, two Jolie-Pitt sightings in two days! Amazing. Yesterday, I covered the photos of Vivienne and Knox Jolie-Pitt playing in the park with a nanny and Angelina Jolie’s assistant Holly (who I don’t know on sight, sorry Brangeloonies!). And now we have photos of Angelina out with Knox, Viv and Shiloh! Angelina took her youngest kids to the Halloween Super Store in Sherman Oaks yesterday, and the paparazzi got lots and lots of photos. Why does Shiloh look so grumpy? And good God, all of these kids look so similar.

Happy almost Halloween from the Jolie-Pitts! Angelina Jolie took her children Shiloh, Vivienne and Knox shopping for last-minute Halloween costumes Oct. 28 at the Halloween Adventure Superstore in Sherman Oaks, Calif., browsing the aisles for close to an hour.

Among the items the brood scooped up during their trip? A unicorn costume for 4-year-old Vivienne and a dinosaur stuffed toy for her twin brother.

“Angelina looked amazing! She definitely looked really healthy and she was really sweet. A few fans came up to her and she was beyond nice to them and talked to every single one of them,” an onlooker tells Us Weekly, adding that Vivienne wore her unicorn costume the entire time. “They were there for close to an hour and they had a pretty large purchase.”

[From Us Weekly]

LOL, Vivienne wearing the pink unicorn costume the whole time. I’m actually kind of surprised that Viv wanted to be a (pink!) unicorn. Don’t girly-girls all want to princesses and fairies and angels and such? I wonder what Knox is going to be…? Maybe that’s why Shiloh looked so grumpy. She and Knox both wanted to be pirates or cowboys or something. And what will Empress Zahara be for Halloween?! I need to know.

By the way, Angelina does look very healthy (for her) in these photos. She’s back to eating solids! HUZZAH. And nice Louis Vuitton cross-promotion, eh?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is a thumbsucker. This isn’t the best photo evidence of Shiloh’s thumb-sucking, but I think that’s what she’s doing in the photos where she’s carrying her white silkie. The silkie is covering it, but she’s got that thumb in her mouth. Shiloh’s about to turn 6 years old in May, which is too old to still be sucking your thumb, according to the experts that The Enquirer found. Of course, some of these “experts” are the same people who pull their hair out because a 5-year-old girl isn’t interested in dresses and barrettes. Anyway, The Enquirer’s sources say that Brad and Angelina are totally concerned about this pressing issue!

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are desperate to break their daughter Shiloh of thumb-sucking because it can cause long-term emotional and physical problems. Shiloh turns 6 in May, and experts say she should have outgrown the habit long ago.

“Beyond the age of 4, thumb-sucking should be discouraged because it causes both physical and emotional damage,” warned psychotherapist Gilda Carle.

Another expert says, “Thumb-sucking can alter the shape of the mouth and affect the alignment of teeth. The end result can be difficulty chewing, speech abnormalities and an unattractive smile.”

If thumb-sucking continues after age 5, “you might want to have the child examined for emotional problems or anxiety disorders,” says periodontist Dr. Peter Rubelman.

Shiloh has recently been photographed sucking her thumb in public, and both Brad and Angelina want it to end, said the source.

“They’re offering her big incentives to quit. Brad told Shiloh that he’d take her on a special daddy-daughter weeklong camping trip if she stops.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

I’m really only writing about this because I wanted to tell my own thumbsucker story. My mother was concerned when I started sucking my thumb when I was just a baby. So she put socks on my hands so I couldn’t get at my thumbs. So I just sucked on the socks. To this day, she still occasionally refers to me “The Little Sock-sucker”. Whatever – there are tons of practical and efficient remedies for thumbsucking, especially them the thumbsucker is old enough to be bribed (like Shiloh). Promise her all of the little pixie haircuts her heart desires. Promise her a Montenegro-Style shopping spree. Promise her a dirt bike. She’ll stop sucking her thumb in no time.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

Has it occurred to anyone else that Shiloh Jolie-Pitt has the same haircut as Michelle Williams? Because that just occurred to me when I saw that Angelina (or somebody) tamped down Shiloh’s hair so it now looks like Michelle’s pixie cut. Anyway, these are some newish photos – two sets, actually. One set is of Angelina, Shiloh and Zahara leaving their hotel in Amsterdam yesterday, and then the second set is of their arrival at LAX. Note the bears!!!!! The girls got some Dutch bears. Is that a thing in the Netherlands? Bears? I thought that was just a German thing. Basically, these gigantic bears are the new “gerbils”. Whatever happened to those gerbils of doom, by the way? They were probably signed with CAA and now have a book deal. The gerbils are trying to “brand” themselves. And now it’s the bears’ turn. BEARS OF DOOM.

The Enquirer has a long story this week about Angelina and Brad’s bad parenting style. Basically, they are the Anti-Goop. Remember when Gwyneth – Brad’s ex! – said she’d “rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can”? Well, Brad and Angelina would rather feed their kids processed junk food than force them to eat veggies.

Brad and Angelina are way too liberal in giving sweet treats to their kids.

“With their money and resources, you’d think their children would be eating like kings and queens,” an insider told The Enquirer. “But they pride themselves on giving their kids a simple, normal upbringing – and that includes soft drinks, candy, cookies and everything sugary that children love. Their youngsters are hooked on junk food.”

“Angie and Brad don’t know how to say no to their kids. And with six of them screaming at once, it’s just easier to give in than fight.”

Brad recently admitted, “There’s times like, ‘We gotta get up. Get up! Here’s your shoes. Drink this Coke. Drink it all. Right now!’ Just so we could get ‘em up and going.”

The insider says: “Brad and Angie fight over the nutrition issue constantly,” revealed the insider. “He sometimes cooks up organic vegetable and tofu stir-fries or big salads, but everyone – including Angie – turn their nose up at the healthy stuff. For all their fame and fortune, they face the same dilemmas as any stressed and overwhelmed parents.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

Eh. Since I’m not a parent, do I not have the right to chime in? I was raised in a different era, and I was raised in the South by a Southern mother. Sweet tea was a staple of our household, and while I no longer drink it regularly, I do get a hankering for it a couple times a year. There was also a lot of fried food in our house, and a lot of sweets (my mom has a huge sweet tooth). I ended up not having much of a taste for pastries and the like (I love anything salty), probably because I outgrew it by being introduced to it early on. I don’t know, though. I’m not the picture of extreme health today (I‘m about average), but I don‘t think it‘s because of how I was raised. But when you think about what OUR parents’ childhoods were like (back when pregnant women were smoking and drinking), I just don’t see how this is some HUGE deal. Should the Jolie-Pitts eat better? Yes. Should the kids eat their veggies? Of course. But it’s not a war crime to give your kids candy.

Photos courtesy of WENN and Fame/Flynet.

After Angelina Jolie went to The Hague to see the International Criminal Court’s first conviction (of a Ugandan warlord), Angelina decided to lighten her day. She had flown to Amsterdam with her two older daughters, Shiloh and Zahara, so they had a girls’ outing on a boat. You know how much the Jolie-Pitt children love boats, right? Remember Venice? Those kids love boats, and they love gelato. Anyway, the paparazzi got lots of photos of Zahara and Shiloh playing around on the boat. The girls were even making faces at the paparazzi, and the photos are just… too cute. They just seem like really happy little girls. Even Angelina was laughing at their antics.

Meanwhile, OK! Magazine is still claiming that Brad and Angelina will have a wedding this year – I guess they don’t realize that Brad’s Oscar campaign is over? Not only will there be a wedding this year, but OK also thinks that Angelina will be giving birth to twin boys in the fall. I’m including a profile photo of Angelina in Amsterdam – does she look pregnant? With twins? As you can imagine, Gossip Cop is calling BS on the story. Why don’t the tabs ever let me write fake Brangelina stories? “Empress Zahara demands wedding, Angelina and Brad acquiesce!” “Zahara declares: blue hair ribbons for ALL!” “Zahara does not approve of Shiloh’s mullet, says her parents cannot marry until Shiloh gets a proper haircut.”

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Here are some new photos of Angelina Jolie, Zahara and Shiloh at LAX yesterday, taking a flight out of LA. My goodness we’ve had a lot of photos of the Jolie-Pitt kids lately. I hate noting that, by the way. The Jolie-Pitt-lovers yell at me because OF COURSE Angelina and Brad and their children aren’t photographed nearly as often as, say, Jennifer Garner and the Dimple Parade. And they’re right. And the Jolie-Pitt-haters yell at me because OF COURSE I love Angelina and I just refuse to see the massive conspiracy involving The Villainess Jolie and the way she outright forces her children to look happy for the cameras because Angelina is just plain evil. Of course. So I’ll just be pleasant and glide on through… the kids have been photographed a lot since the Oscars. Personally, I think it’s less about “Angelina arranging photo-ops with the kids” and more about “Angelina not caring so much about keeping her schedule locked down for a month following some bad press, so the paparazzi can easily find her and her lovely family.” Angelina and Jennifer Garner are surprisingly similar in that regard, I think.

But enough about Angelina. Let’s talk about the girls! I love everything about these two. I love that Shiloh really is a mini-Brad at this point. I bet she talks with an affected Missouri drawl too. She’s like the richest, most fabulous hillbilly child in the world. You know she totally picked out her tuxedo t-shirt. She probably thinks it’s the most awesome thing EVER. And it kind of is. It also seems like Shiloh’s little pixie/bowl cut is being grown out ever so slightly into a… mullet?!?!?! OMG. Shiloh with a mullet? Epic.

As for Zahara, I just love the way this girl puts together outfits. She has way more style than her mom. I basically wish I had her entire outfit in my size. Those are some kick-ass boots, and why can’t I have a snow leopard t-shirt?!?!?!?!?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

The family Jolie-Pitt has gone from LA to New Orleans. The paparazzi caught Brad Pitt tooling around town on a motorcycle yesterday, but we don’t have those photos. We have even better pics – Maddox, Shiloh and Empress Zahara were spotted out with two adults and the family bulldog, Jacques. Jacques was last seen in Budapest, I believe, when Angelina did the 60 Minutes interview and Jacques was all “Adjust my light, please.” As for the adults – maybe the African-American man is a bodyguard? Or just an assistant-type? The Asian woman seems to be with the group too – a nanny? I don’t know. I’m really just looking at the kids and the dog. Things I learned from looking through these photos:

*Zahara is elegant. The way she carries herself, her beautiful little face… she’s going to be a beautiful, composed woman (empress).

*Maddox has a cell phone! Who is he calling?

*Jacques respects Z’s firm hand – he doesn’t get out of control when she’s got the leash.

*Jacques and Shiloh are playmates. When she has the leash, Jacques is all “PARTY TIME!”

*Shiloh is an awesome mess of a girl. She carries herself like Angelina used to, back when Angelina was scary and goth and “different”. Shiloh’s got her mom’s old-school swagger. And I swear, Shi’s short hair is adorable. She has the same haircut Brad had in Moneyball.

*What’s up with Maddox’s hair? It’s a 1970s Florence Henderson shag. Is he aiming for Mick Jagger circa 1973?

*Shiloh digs The Ramones!!

*Z and Shiloh are super-tight sisters. Z seems to want to guide Shiloh, her little sister. And Shiloh isn’t paying any attention.

*Jacques often has an expression of “FML.” He must be so patient with six kids in the house. I bet the twins try to ride him like a horse.

*I desperately want Z’s sandals in my size.

And that’s about it. Shall we even discuss the conspiracy theories as to why we’re seeing so much of the kids over the past week and a half? Is it all about THE LEG?!?!? Maybe. Probably. Angelina just wants to remind everyone that The Leg is a mother. Good PR?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

I don’t even know. Life & Style has a sketchy history with their cover stories about Angelina Jolie and Shiloh. It began in 2010, when Shiloh got her little bob haircut and everyone freaked out because bob haircuts = lesbianism, obviously. And God knows, little girls should ONLY have long hair. There was significant backlash against Life & Style for basically declaring that Shiloh was a lesbian (because of her hair), but that didn’t stop the tabloid from running several more covers in the same vein, meaning that Shiloh has been “manipulated” into her tomboy lifestyle by her EVIL, horrible mother, Angelina. And now this – photos came out a few days ago of Angelina and the kids at the Farmer’s Market – see them here. Shiloh was working a new, shorter haircut. Which, obviously, is the direct result of Angelina’s awful parenting, which has obviously caused Shiloh’s lesbianism. Of course.

Shiloh shows no signs of changing her obsession with being a little boy and while Angeline thinks it’s great, is Brad worried about bullying?

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt showed off the cut while out with her siblings and mother, Angelina Jolie, on January 22. In the August issue of Vanity Fair, Angelina explains the short style, saying, “She wants to be a boy. So we had to cut her hair. She likes to wear boys’ everything. She thinks she’s one of the brothers.”

While Angelina seems all for the look, Life & Style reports that sources say Brad Pitt is concerned that other children will tease Shiloh. Poor Brad, it must be so hard for a parent to have to be concerned about his child being bullied!

[From Hollywood Life]

Yes, Brad is so concerned! He’s the good parent, you see. And when he finally leaves Angelina, he’ll bring Shiloh to Jennifer Aniston, and Aniston will magically convince Shiloh to wear her hair longer, and instantly, Shiloh will no longer be a lesbian! HUZZAH.

Seriously, though – LEAVE SHAX ALONE. She’s doing her own thing, Montenegro Style. The kid has an excess of personality, which speaks to her parents creating an environment in which their kids’ individuality can flourish.

Cover courtesy of Hollywood Life, WENN, Fame.

The tabloids are full of Jolie-Pitt stories this week, but I’m only going to cover a few of them. The Enquirer has three different stories, all of which I don’t care for. One is about Angelina currently being 3 months pregnant, but that she and Brad have decided not to tell anyone because she’s so underweight. There’s another one about the kids not being allowed to swear which… meh. And yet another one about the family’s trip to Las Vegas to see the Cirque du Soleil show, and how the kids were all acting like brats, acting rowdy and making a mess. That one seems the most likely – the Enquirer even has photos of kids at the show, and they look squirmy and there’s popcorn all over the place.

But really, this is my favorite story of the week. In Touch Weekly (I know, I know) claims that Shiloh is so obsessed with being like her brothers, she wants to change her name from Shiloh to Shax. OMG. Shax Jolie-Pitt. It’s perfect.

What’s in a name? A lot, if you’re 5-year-old Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. The famous tomboy – who prefers to play rough with her older brothers than play dolls with her sisters – has taken her gamine ways to new extremes, asking her parents, Brad Pitt and Angelina, to call her Shax.

Why Shax? She wants to be just like her brothers, Maddox, Pax and Knox, whose names all end in the letter “X”. A childhood friend of Shiloh’s mom isn’t one bit surprised.

“Angelina was also a tomboy,” the friend tells In Touch. “She changed her name to Vince when she was the same age.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

Vince Jolie and her tomboy daughter Shax. It does make sense! I wonder if Angelina is ever like, “Yeah, my mom put a curse on me, I have a daughter that is JUST LIKE ME.” Marcheline got the last laugh. Shiloh is a fun, wild kid, just like Angelina. Let’s hope that Shiloh does have quite the difficult trajectory that Angelina had throughout her teen years (and into her early 20s). But I have faith that like Angelina, Shiloh will figure her life out. And until then, I think Brad and Angelina have the right idea: just let their kids be kids. Let Shax be Shax.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN.

There are lots of tabloid stories about the Jolie-Pitt children this week, for whatever reason. Most of the stories are pretty dumb and/or completely unreliable, but there are a few gems of hilarity. First, one of the more reliable stories: according to Life & Style, Knox and Vivienne (who are three-years-old) are now enrolled in school! While Brad is finishing up the interminable World War Z in Budapest, L&S claims that Viv and Knox were enrolled in the Lycée Français Gustave Eiffel. It’s the same school that the older kids were enrolled in last winter and spring, when Angelina was shooting In the Land of Blood and Honey. A source tells L&S, “The twins are really excited that they’re finally in preschool. They have long seen the other kids pack up and head off to school and yearned to be a part of it all. Now they can finally join them!” But… it would be preschool, correct? It’s not like three-year-olds go to school all day like the older kids, right?

Next story, from In Touch Weekly, of course. And wouldn’t you know, it’s a story about how Angelina Jolie is a TERRIBLE mother who abandons her children:

The Jolie-Pitt family have been living in Hungary while Brad Pitt works on his new film World War Z, but the actor put everything aside to care for his youngest daughter!

According to In Touch, Brad and Angelina rushed Vivienne to a Hungarian hospital for a stomach bug. Angelina Jolie took her daughter to the hospital, but then she had to go to Libya for a UN humanitarian mission — leaving Brad to take care of his sick child!

Always the doting father, Brad cared for Vivienne, in addition to her five brothers and sisters, while Angelina was away. In Touch reports that Brad was exhausted and stressed without Angelina’s help — he is “cracking under the pressure” while Angelina travels.

The family will likely be in Hungary through Christmas, so we hope little Vivienne is feeling better!

[From Holly Baby]

Did this really happen? Eh. I bet Vivienne probably did get sick, and maybe they did go to the hospital. I’ll buy that Viv was even sick just days before Angelina’s trip to Libya. But I doubt Angelina would have “abandoned” one of her children if they were really, really sick. Or maybe she would and she just figured that Brad could handle it and her plane tickets were non-refundable or whatever.

And now, to end it with the funny story – once again, this comes from In Touch. They claim that Shiloh J-P and Kingston Rossdale are in the midst of some kind of epic romance. They were born within days of each other, and they moms (Angelina and Gwen Stefani) have “played matchmaker” and encouraged the love affair between the two five-and-a-half-year-olds. That’s probably why Angelina and Gwen met up for a playdate in London – they were allowing love to blossom. A source tells the mag, “Shiloh and Kingston love playing the same games, watching the same movies and even dressing up in the same silly costumes.” And they have a “very special bond” and Skype when they’re not in the same city. Is it weird that I think Kingston might be more into Empress Z?

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.