This photo is from November, 2009

You know how Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt squandered all the millions they made from being famewhores for a couple of years and were living rent free in a beach house that Spencer’s family owned? (A full recap of their foolishness is here.) You would at least assume that they were flat broke and not deep in debt, but the truth is that they owe “hundreds of thousands in commissions” to their agents, and of course can’t get meager additional jobs because a) no one has any interest in them and b) their agents aren’t going to work for them because they never got paid. Spencer is getting desperate and is calling his agent “30 times” a day.

The former Hills star is so unpopular in Hollywood, even his agent won’t answer his calls!

A source tells the new Us Weekly — on stands now! — that Heidi Montag’s hubby, 28, still owes his agency “hundreds of thousands of dollars in commissions” from the millions he and Montag, 25, earned during their run on the MTV reality series.

The source adds that Pratt calls his agent up to 30 times a day. “They just laugh at him or pick up and hang up.”

[From US Weekly]

There’s one additional quote in the print edition that’s not here, and it just states the obvious “Spencer calls his agent daily looking for work, but he won’t book him till he pays them.”

I guess Heidi still gets work showing up to stuff and looking wasted. The last time we saw her she was looking strung out and bloated, while she was thin from admittedly starving herself just three months ago. This is what happens when these flash in the pan celebrities don’t save for a rainy day. These two are the most egregious examples, but I see Kate Gosselin, Snooki, The Jersey Shore drunks and hopefully the entire Kardashian clan following soon. They win the one shot fame lottery for do-nothings and then they make the mistake of thinking they’re famous and that the money will keep flowing in.

This was the actual cover to their book, out in 2009. Here’s a mock-worthy passage I got from the preview on Amazon: “Whether you love us, hate us, or love to hate us, there IS a recipe for infiltrating Hollywood, and we’ve got it. Sure, it’s not rocket science, but it IS a science.” Too bad the “science” wasn’t sustainable, they never paid their bills and couldn’t do basic math.

Photo credit: Fame

For those who are still raging over the Casey Anthony “not guilty” verdict that was delivered last month by a Floridian jury, a slight bit of catharsis (albeit no further justice) can be had in the news that Anthony has been voted to the top of a “Top 10 Most Hated People” poll. Of course this news will do nothing to settle the unrest aimed at the Anthony jurors, who fortunately have been spared the same dubious honor. C’mon, they were really only doing their jobs. Anyway and because I don’t want to freshly stir that pot, let’s get on with the rest of the list, shall we?

What do Casey Anthony, Spencer Pratt and Jon Gosselin have in common? A new poll suggests they’re the most hated people in America!

These public figures top findings by Nielsen subsidiary E-Poll Market Research, the New York Post reports. Joining them are famous names such as O.J. Simpson, Paris Hilton and ‘Octomom’ Nadya Suleman, all making way on the following top 10 list:

1. Casey Anthony
2. Spencer Pratt
3. Octomom
4. O.J. Simpson
5. Jon Gosselin
6. Levi Johnston
7. Jesse James
8. Paris Hilton
9. Heidi Fleiss
10. Howard Stern

“A lot of the folks on this list are people who are constantly in the news and have nonredeeming qualities,” Mary Ann Farrell, Senior Vice President of Research at E-Poll, says.

[From Hollywood Life]

Okay, I completely understand why Anthony and Simpson are on this list because they’re basically cut out of the same legally-scandalous grain. Also truly reprehensible are Spencer Pratt (and his extremely expensive crystals) and Nadya “Octomom” Suleman because she’s a drain on the taxpayers and acts like such an entitled bitch concerning her own womb. People don’t like Levi Johnston because he’s a reprehensible, deadbeat famewhore and Jesse James because he cheated on and humiliated Sandra Bullock. Naturally, Paris Hilton’s entrance on this list is rather self-explanatory. As to Howard Stern, he loves to be hated, so he’ll probably feel like he accomplished something today. However, do people still care at all about Jon Gosselin or Heidi Fleiss? Their inclusion makes me wonder whether or not the company presented people with a list and asked them to pick which ones they hated the most instead of asking people to name their own suggestions. Pollsters can be so shady like that.

Photos courtesy of WENN

The Daily Beast has a new interview with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, the former stars of MTV reality shows Laguna Beach and The Hills. These two faked a wedding in 2008 and when their show was canceled last year they faked a breakup and then tried to sell a fake adultery story to the tabloids. Spencer half-faked a breakdown, they tried to sell or fake a sex tape (that gratefully never materialized) and then when all else failed they admitted they were totally broke and had wasted at least $10 million dollars. Oh and last year Heidi had ten plastic surgeries in one day and then after her surgeon died in a car accident she immediately went to the press crying about her “plastic surgery disasters.” (Whereas before her surgeon’s death she was on the news with him singing his praises.) She also tried to launch a music career that tanked.

In this latest interview, the gruesome twosome admit that their breakup was fake and that they never spent a day apart despite all those tabloids and staged photos. They’re now broke, living for free in one of their parents’ houses and they wish they’d saved their money instead of squandering it. Heidi explains that she saw buying all those luxury goods as an investment, like Kim Kardashian or something.

Here are some quotes from the article on Daily Beast, which is well worth reading in its entirety:

They never broke up
Did you ever break up? Spencer: “No.” Heidi: “No.” Spencer: “Not for one minute.” Heidi: “We’ve never even been apart.” Which raises a larger point: Everything in this article that could be fact-checked through multiple independent sources, has been.

On how they blew all their millions
What the hell happened? What were they thinking? And where did all the money go?

“We never had any!” said Spencer in response to the money question. Meaning, it went out as quickly as it came in. Spencer estimated they spent $2 million on Heidi’s ill-fated pop-music career, hiring writers, producers, and engineers who worked with Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, and Lady Gaga. There were lots of clothes, too. “I probably spent a million dollars on suits and fancy clothes,” Spencer said. “My whole million-dollar wardrobe—I would never wear that again. They’re props. Everything we were doing, we were buying props. I bought a big blue monster truck just to drive it on The Hills for an episode. Never drove it again.”

Spencer—who previously appeared on 2005’s short-lived reality series The Princes of Malibu—grew up with privilege and private schools in Los Angeles; Heidi was raised in tiny Crested Butte, Colo., with little money and lots of megachurches. “I should have known growing up and not having any money ever that I should have kept every dollar that I had,” Heidi said. “I thought I was investing in myself and my brand. Like Kim.” As in Kardashian, who came up often during the interview. Heidi continued: “When she buys these clothes, she’s investing in herself. Because she is a big brand and is likeable. I thought I had that potential. My ego got too big. To think I could be someone like that when I was the most hated girl ever.”

Why Spencer flipped out on the set of The Hills: they wanted him to punch his sister
MTV announced in March 2010 that the sixth season of The Hills would be its last. But it was already over for Spencer. He had gotten into a huge fight with a producer named Sara Mast, whom he said tried to get him to cause his fellow castmember and sister, Stephanie, who has had on-again, off-again alcohol and drug problems, to “hit rock bottom.” In his version, Mast tried to get him to punch Stephanie. “Her exact quote: ‘That Snooki effect,’” Spencer said, referring to a Jersey Shore episode in which castmember Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was hit by a fellow bar patron.

“That’s when I snapped,” Spencer said. “To the point when I said—and this is when the producers got scared of me—‘You want me to punch my sister in the face? Are you trying to get me to kill you?’ I didn’t say, ‘I’m killing you.’ If I did, MTV would have had me arrested.”

A source close to production who requested anonymity, and is no friend of Spencer’s, confirmed his version of what caused the fight, but also added that Spencer was, in fact, quite scary about it. Through her agent, Sara Mast declined to comment for this story. Creator DiVello’s PR representative was told specifically about this claim and did not respond. MTV would not comment either.

On how they mismanaged their careers
“We were living each other’s mistakes—everything we were doing, in retrospect, was a mistake. The second we continued on our quest for fame was a mistake.” Spencer said. “This isn’t a business. That was the big thing I didn’t get: Reality TV is not a career. Anyone who says, ‘Oh, you can have a career in reality’—that is a lie.”

Paris Hilton’s recent bomb of a reality series, The World According to Paris, proves this theory, according to them.

Heidi said, “We thought it’d be huge!”

Spencer said: “Paris Hilton created fame for nothing. The fact that only 400,000 people tuned into her premiere? We’re Paris Hilton fans.” He continued: “She didn’t make all these surgery mistakes, or crystal mistakes. She didn’t do any of that. But here she is. Her career stopped.”

As have theirs, for the most part. Heidi, who was in her late teens when she was cast on The Hills and will turn 25 in September, has been appearing on VH1’s Famous Food, a reality competition in which celebrities compete to become a partner in a restaurant. When those sorts of opportunities come around, she said, “I’m there.” She also still gets invited to host Las Vegas parties sometimes. “I have the most fun ever.”

[From The Daily Beast]

It’s not true that there was “never any” money for these two. They wasted more money in a year than the budget for an entire municipality. Heidi had at least 4 Hermes Birkin bags, which retail for around $15k each. She wore $1,000 shoes regularly, and Spencer admitted wasting 1/2 a million dollars on crystals. These people had a security detail consisting of ex Marines. Heidi used to go to work with four bodyguards. So it’s an “I told you so” moment to hear that they’re living at one of their parent’s houses and probably deep in debt now that their fame has inevitably dried up. If only we could hear similar stories about The Jersey Shore kids and The Kardashians. After we get a well deserved break from constant news about them.

Heidi and Spencer are shown on 2/13/10. Credit: WENN.com Spencer is shown out alone on 4/7/11. Credit: Fame. Heidi is shown on 6/19/11. Credit: Wire image

Radar Online has a new article with a confirmation from Spencer Pratt that he and his plastic on-again wife, Heidi Montag, are working to get on the cast of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I think I speak for almost all of the fans of this show when I say “hell to the no.” The Real Housewives franchise uses little known rich and pseudo rich people to create drama, they don’t take on seasoned reality celebrities. It’s not “I’m a Celebrity, put me in the woods/jungle/rainforest,” and we’re not interested in seeing any more of this fake couple. I hope Spencer just ruined his chances by blabbing about it. Here’s more from Radar:

Heidi Montag is actively pursuing joining the cast of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

Her husband Spencer Pratt wants to come along too and he confirmed the news to RadarOnline.com that his “people” are going to be talking to the RHOB honchos on Tuesday.

“We would move to Beverly Hills in a heartbeat. We would be psyched if this happened for us,” Spencer told RadarOnline.com.

The show has been a ratings hit and Camille Grammer has not publicly said if she will return for Season Two.

Adding former MTV The Hills stars Heidi and Spencer to the show is sure to increase the drama and would be a publicity coup for Bravo.

Heidi is a regular on weekly magazine covers because of her drawing power and is not stranger to controversy after revealing she had 10 plastic surgery procedure in one day.

And as far as Spencer is concerned, we’re sure he’ll figure out a way to grab attention, too!

[From Radar]

I think Radar meant to write “Heidi used to be a regular on magazine covers.” No one gives a sh*t about her anymore, whether she’s blaming her dead plastic surgeon for doing all the work she requested and got so much publicity for, or staging a fake divorce from Spencer. We want someone new and less known on RHOBH, like Brandi Cibrian. Heidi and Spencer will mess everything up and stage a bunch of obvious fights. At least with the current cast we get the impression that the cattiness is real, even if the producers drag it out and convince the ladies that holding grudges is good for ratings.

Heidi Montag is shown on 10/30/10. SPencer Pratt is shown on 7/25/10 and 2/19/10. Credit: WENN.com and Fame

I don’t really care about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. At this point, they’re just there. I barely acknowledged when they got back together, if they were ever really apart. I vowed that I would only pay attention to them again if: A) Heidi got more plastic surgery, B) Spencer had to be hospitalized with a crystal hanging out of his ass or C) They died in an orgy of crystals, Botox and fire. But I forgot about one thing I’ll always pay attention to: money. Heidi and Spencer have given an interview to Life & Style about how they “blew $10 million”. The answer? Crystals and back-scooping. And more!

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are finally getting a dose of reality. Life & Style can exclusively reveal that after carelessly squandering $10 million — on renting a posh $35,000 per month Malibu pad, $3 million on Heidi’s panned music career including buying songs for $40,000 a piece, renting studios and paying producers plus hundreds of thousands on Heidi’s surgeries and aftercare, six cars, healing crystals and private jets— the fame-hungry former Hills stars now owe $2 million in taxes, are considering filing for bankruptcy and are homeless.

“We were immature, worrying too much about the famous part instead of the actual business part,” Spencer tells Life & Style. “In hindsight, we shouldn’t have spent any of our money. We should have been low-key and saved.” Spencer continues, ““We spoke with a bankruptcy attorney and I’ve looked into unemployment checks.”

Heidi and Spencer never imagined that The Hills wouldn’t still be successful four years after its 2006 debut. So when the final season was suddenly cut from 20 episodes to 10 and they weren’t paid for the 10 unaired episodes, they had already spent the money in advance.

“We thought The Hills was going to be like 90210 and we’d have another five to 10 years,” Spencer says. “The ratings were consistent. But we never saw Jersey Shore coming. Before, TV audiences were fine with seeing us all argue, but now they want you to punch one another in the face and hook up with three different people. Our cast was a bit boring and snoozeworthy in comparison. No wonder we got canceled.”

“At our lowest point, I considered posing for nude pictures in Playboy,” Heidi, who had previously posed for the magazine clothed, admits. What stopped her? Spencer’s parents’ appeal for her to keep her clothes on in exchange for living in their guesthouse—a studio apartment.

“I feel like I’m 14 years old again,” Spencer says. “My parents are my lifeline.” And for once, his statements aren’t an exaggeration. “Spencer’s parents go to the grocery store for us once a week,” Heidi tells Life & Style, “and that’s all we get.”

“We don’t want sympathy,” Spencer tells Life & Style. “We did this to ourselves and feel like idiots. But we’ve grown up and are definitely not as naive anymore.”

[From Life & Style]

I’m glad they say that they don’t want any sympathy, because they’re not getting any. Even though this interview is designed for sympathy, and more importantly, to just have their names in print just for the hell of it, because it’s all they know. They blew their money because they are both so incredibly dumb. Also: why doesn’t Spencer just sell off some of his crystals? Were they investments?

Photos courtesy of Fame.

So Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have reunited, and it feels so… scripted. We heard well ahead of time that these two had squandered their millions and were staging a fake breakup in order to keep earning headlines. Now that they’re declaring that they’re back together, I feel indifferent rather than particularly duped. In order to be duped I would have had to have invested a smidgen of interest in either of these plastic characters. Spencer and Heidi declared their “rekindled” love for each other after Spencer was detained for 12 hours at a Costa Rican airport for attempting to bring guns through security. I’m sure that was all well planned ahead of time. No one packs guns for a plane trip “accidentally.”

Spencer Pratt says his 12-hour detainment at a Costa Rica airport for arms possession has given him a chance at reconciliation with wife Heidi Montag.

Montag stood by him during what he called the “wildest day ever of either of our lives” and sparked hope that she might drop her divorce filing, Pratt said Monday.

“It was clear we’re soulmates. I don’t see any reason we can’t get back on track,” he said in Los Angeles after Saturday’s incident.

Police in San Jose, Costa Rica, said the couple were briefly detained at the airport for illegal arms possession after security officers found two unloaded handguns in their luggage. Pratt and Montag hadn’t declared the weapons and lacked permits to have them in Costa Rica, police said.

After questioning, they were released and allowed to leave the country, police said Monday.

The couple met on MTV’s popular reality series “The Hills” and their April 2009 wedding was featured on the show. Montag, 23, cited irreconcilable differences in her July divorce filing, which Pratt says won’t become final until early next year.

She indicated Monday she might have a change of heart.

“As far as I’m concerned the last thing in the world after everything we have just been through is to go through with this divorce,” Montag said in a text message. “But we are just taking life second by second.”

In a phone call, she praised Jesus for their release.

[From The Huffington Post]

I’m sure they were both in on the sex tape scam too, and that it was a whole stunt to drum up publicity. Heidi recent posed for bikini photos during which one of her giant boobs just happened to pop out while she was frolicking in the ocean. Was Spencer’s whole breakdown a stunt too, is the guy genuinely crazy or a little of both? I guess the better question would be: does anyone care?

Could it be that Spencer Pratt has finally, at long, long last, lost his f-cking mind? Perhaps. Spencer was arrested in Costa Rica on Saturday for “illegal possession of a firearm.” Apparently, he needed the gun because he was spending a week “living off the land” and “hunting” in Costa Rica. He was briefly jailed and then released, and he claims that he’s not allowed in the country anymore. Eh. It is my dream that someday Spencer is not allowed in America again.

Could Spencer Pratt be headed to the slammer? The former MTV reality star was arrested in Costa Rica Saturday for illegal possession of a firearm on his way back to the U.S., according to TMZ.com. The site reports Pratt, 27, was booked at a local jail and then released.

“Costa Rican jail smells like children’s tears. And soup. Delicious soup,” Pratt Twittered after news broke Saturday afternoon. “If I knew the gov’t was Team Jacob, I would’ve kept my mouth shut.”

The reality star — who spent time in the Central American country with his ex, Heidi Montag, in 2009 as part of NBC’s I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here — offered a bizarre statement to TMZ with additional details surrounding his arrest.

“As part of my spiritual cleansing I’ve spent the last week living alone in the jungle, reflecting on my past transgressions, and working to become a better person. I had to live off the land, and hunt to survive,” Pratt is quoted as saying.

“As I departed the country this morning to continue my spiritual journey, I mistakenly brought my hunting weapons to the airport. It was an honest mistake, and they sent me on my way,” he adds. “On an unrelated note, I’m not allowed in the country anymore — but that’s because of the chicken incident.”

Pratt’s arrest comes on the heels of a public apology made to wife Montag, who recently filed for divorce after a year of marriage.

In an email to the Associated Press, Pratt says his behavior in the wake of their alleged breakup — including his threat to release a sex tape — was “outrageous and infantile.”

[From Us Weekly]

Yes, so my hopes that he would be thrown in jail for several years have been dashed. Was this a cry for help? A cry for attention? Or has Spencer truly gone crazy? I vote for a little of column A, B and C. I think Spencer’s mental health is… not good. Add to that his incessant need for attention and his need to live every aspect of his life in the public eye… oh God. Why do I bother trying to analyze this crap? I wish I could just stamp his forehead with some unwashable ink reading “FAMEWHORE DOUCHE” so everyone would be forced to photograph him that way.

UPDATE: Apparently, Spencer and Heidi were seen together in LA over the weekend too. CB says Spencer was just trying to get attention by bringing firearms to the airport. Sigh.

It’s hard to believe that anything we hear from Heidi and Spencer is legitimate. Their whole relationship seemed manufactured for publicity, as did Heidi’s plastic surgery, Spencer’s breakdown, and their breakup/divorce. Right before the weekend we heard that Spencer was shopping sex tapes featuring himself and Heidi as well as another featuring Heidi and Playmate Karissa Shannon. Porn giant Vivid confirmed the news and said that it was all up to Heidi whether or not they would release it. Heidi denied that any sex tapes existed, although Shannon admitted there was one with her and Heidi. Heidi and Spencer then cursed each other out through Twitter.

Now these two have been spotted together in Costa Rica, where Heidi is said to have gone to escape the sex tape rumors. They quickly scattered when the paparazzi came around and tried to make it look like they weren’t together. Spencer and Heidi offered some lame excuse to People Magazine about how they had to share custody of their dogs and how Spencer didn’t have anywhere to live. There are several scenarios that came to mind when I heard this news, but the ones that stick out are:

1. Heidi and Spencer are conspiring to release the sex tapes together and were busted together in Costa Rica
2. Heidi and Spencer are conspiring to release the tapes and also conspired to get themselves photographed to add to the suspense and get people talking about it. (If they did it this way, I have to admit it was pretty clever.)
3. Heidi was initially opposed to releasing the tapes, but gradually came around when she realized how much money was on the table.

There are surely other options, but that’s all I can come up with at this point. It seems like one of those scenarios is accurate, because the head of Vivid headed to Costa Rica to work out a deal with Heidi.

Heidi Montag is privately acknowledging the existence of her sex tape … TMZ has learned — and sources close to the former “Hills” star tell us she’s finally willing to talk business.

We’re told Heidi has agreed to listen to Vivid Entertainment honcho Steve Hirsch when he arrives in Costa Rica to make an offer on the footage … some of which is said to contain girl-on-girl action with Playboy Playmate Karissa Shannon.

We’re told Heidi wants Hirsch to provide her with the sales numbers on Kim Kardashian’s sex tape — which was also released through Vivid — because Heidi may be interested in working out a “back-end deal” if Steve can’t offer enough cash up front to satisfy Montag.

Hirsch told us he’s leaving for Costa Rica sometime next week.

[From TMZ]

There are also several scenarios for their relationship, as in – they broke up for publicity, they did break up legitimately but are off and on, or they broke it off and are still friends. I don’t really care what’s going on with them, but I’m still curious. These two are experts at playing the media and I wouldn’t put it past them to stage this whole divorce and sex tape controversy for publicity and cash. They’re also pretty shallow dumb people and I doubt they could fake Spencer’s craziness, Heidi’s body dysmorphia and their relationship problems, whether they’re still together or not. They’re messed up people making money off selling their lives. It’s not that much of a stretch to believe that Heidi was in on this sex tape scheme from the beginning.

Spencer and Heidi are shown on 2/13. Heidi is shown on 4/10/10. Credit: WENN.com

Did I say “every gross detail”? I just meant that I was going to try to summarize all of the bullsh-t stories from Spancer Pratt’s latest tabloid gambit. Honestly, I don’t know if there really is a sex tape, because I’ve never really believed that Spencer and Heidi had sex very often, if ever. I used to think Spencer was a big ol’ closet case, and was maybe afraid of vagina? But I’ve started to think that Spencer is probably turned on by some really crazy sh-t, like crystals wrapped in bacon, inserted into a corpse… or whatever. Shudder… I also think that if Heidi – back in the day – had been with a dude who loved the way she used to look, and actually wanted to have sex with her, then maybe she wouldn’t have gone in for the circus freak plastic surgery. But I digress.

Anyway, Spencer started out last week trying to hock a tell-all book. Heidi threatened legal action, and within days Spencer magically had a sex tape that he was trying to sell. We still don’t know if the tape features a pre or post-op Heidi, although Spencer claims that the tape “makes Kim Kardashian look like an amateur.” TMZ initially reported that Spencer was in talks with Vivid over the sale of the tape, and Vivid’s Steven Hirsch tells us, “I just got off the phone with Spencer Pratt about a sex tape with Heidi Montag. We are in early negotiations to possibly come to terms for a deal.” Spencer wants $5 million for the tape, and Hirsch tells TMZ that $5 million is NOT “an unreasonable price.”

Allegedly. All of this is all “allegedly.” Also: Spencer and Heidi did some kind of “summit” in Costa Rica, and Spencer allegedly tried to make a deal with Heidi – either she film a reality show with him, or he would sell the tape. TMZ’s sources say, “Heidi is freaking out because she doesn’t want to do reality TV anymore.” Yeah right. Oh, and Spencer “demanded” that Heidi “tear up the divorce papers….You cannot turn off the Speidi machine.” Oh, and there is this barftastic quote from Spencer: “I am a wild sexual freak and I love sex.” Right… “I love sex…[with dogs, crystals, dead people, men and gerbils].”

One more thing: apparently, Spencer also has tape of Heidi having sex with Playboy Playmate Karissa Shannon. Spencer is making that tape part of the “The Speidi Porn Collection” he’s offering to Vivid. Karissa confirmed that a tape exists, although she doesn’t know if Spencer really has it. Meanwhile, Heidi’s reps have not confirmed or denied any part of these stories.

Spencer Pratt has given an interview to People Magazine where he attempts to explain why he and Heidi Montag split up. The simple fact that Spencer is giving an interview to People seems reason enough to split, just because Spencer can now get the attention he so craves. At least he admits it though – he tells People that they split because he’s a famewhore and he just wants any kind of press, while Heidi “believes in bad press. There’s no way my love for fame and her love for puppies will ever work out successfully.” Okay, that’s a little funny:

Spencer Pratt always has some strange new ploy for attention up his sleeve – but not his split from wife Heidi Montag.

That, he says, despite the fact that nobody has seen divorce papers and family and Hills castmates are skeptical, is the real deal.

“We love each other but I’m a famewhore and I’ll never grow out of it,” Pratt tells PEOPLE. “[Heidi] knows that and doesn’t want that.”

“I want every kind of press,” he says. “She believes in bad press. There’s no way my love for fame and her love for puppies will ever work out successfully. She just wants to hike and hang out and be calmer.”

As for their infamous “Speidi,” moniker, Pratt says his estranged wife “doesn’t want to be Speidi anymore. She wants to be Heidi Montag: the sex symbol.”

“She thought I’d burn out of this, but no, I’m still the same Spencer who went on The Hills to be famous,” he says. “I still need to do stunts and take cues from Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise.”

Pratt, who mentions he and his ex are “friendly,” says Speidi trouble is nothing new. “It’s been a constant battle since we got married,” he says. “She would be like, ‘Are you really Tweeting that? Are you really doing that?’”

So what’s next for the limelight-loving reality personality?

When fighting cyber crime fell through, Pratt says he decided to grow a beard and turn to art. “I’m switching it up,” he says. “I’ve already gone for the blonde, spiky-haired look. Now I’m going for the Hollywood producer look.”

Continues Pratt: “I’m an artist now. I have an easel and everything. I’m going for an art show and a gallery.”

[From People]

Here’s a question – who is more delusional, Spencer or Heidi? I can’t decide. I think Spencer is right that in Heidi’s mind, she’s going to be a movie star and sex symbol (probably in the same way Lindsay Lohan is currently a movie star and sex symbol). And that’s just… sad. Because Heidi is a freakshow whose only talent is… being a freakshow. But Spencer’s pretty crazy too – “I still need to do stunts and take cues from Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise” – yikes. Verdict: They kind of deserve each other, but I’m still glad Heidi got out. Maybe she can have some semblance of normalcy.