A “source” close to Melissa Etheridge recently confirmed a scoop by the Enquirer that Etheridge has been dating longterm family friend, Linda Wallem, who served as the best woman at her 2003 commitment ceremony with now-ex, Tammy Lynn Michaels. Michaels and Etheridge have four year old twins together, and Michaels has claimed that Etheridge left her with little money and no clear explanation for why she was leaving. Now that the news is out, People is reporting that Melissa and this Linda woman, who created the show Nurse Jackie, got together three months after Tammy and Melissa split up. Only Tammy, in her roundabout way, is disputing those claims and suggesting that Melissa cheated. She also adds that she’s known about it for a while, that one of her kids told her, and that Melissa accidentally had a box of dildos delivered to her house. Maybe it was meant as a gift. Here’s some of what she wrote on her blog, and I’ve translated some of it it. (My words are in bold.)

Melissa didn’t break up with her and just said she wanted a break
i moved out november 23rd 2009
she said it would help
i was convinced it would
too and i trusted there was
no one else
i didn’t know
there was someone moving in
as i was moving out

Melissa’s assistant delivered some vibrators to Tammy by mistake
three weeks later a box of new toys
was delivered and her assistant brought
it to my rental house as a mistake
i opened it
and that’s when i felt something was up

i called her
“i have your new dicks on my kitchen counter?”

one thing by one thing
i slowly felt things were not
as
they were being represented

one never even said one was breaking up with me
one only says things in song and string

Tammy figured out Melissa broke up with her by listening to her new CD
and then i listened to the album
and i understood
oh
you don’t want to work it out
oh you already have someone in the wings
oh you already have pined for another
oh you are done here

oh i have become another one of your exes

oh i have become an album

On how she got cheated on
so. you know. people magazine tries to get things right. they try to
clean things up for the famous folk- their sources are usually the publicist
for the celebrity. i’m here to clarify. well… i want to clarify without
dealing with getting sued for SLANDER (and paying someone), which would include
me saying that the two were involved while I was living there (it is still my house, by the way).
and i haven’t gone just that far yet.

since april of 09? mmm…. one of my little sweet peas told me otherwise much
earlier than that, Pooper magazine.

they should have shut the bedroom door.

and once again… if we’re going to have little “leaks” and such… let’s make them truthful?

perhaps folks out there are going to start doing math. “speak true and spread the peace” of 2010
i kept this to myself last summer. maybe i shouldnt have- it would have explained another reason
why there was so much bitterness in my cray-cray crazy blogs. i couldn’t believe someone would have a
saying, and motto to ask people to buy and live by, but not oneself?

spread the peace? speak true.

[From Tammy Lynn Michaels blog]

I can write more coherent e-mails on an iPod. I hope she was using a Blackberry keyboard to compose that. Ok, I get it, Tammy got royally screwed, and because she wasn’t legally married to Melissa it was worse for her. I’ll repeat what I’ve said about Tammy before – this is only making her look petty. I’ve had people bash me for saying she should keep it to herself or get an editor, and maybe my problem is her writing style. Before responding and telling me I’m wrong and she has every right to get her side of the story out – which I’m not disputing – please read her entire post on her blog. She goes on about it, and I personally find it annoying to read through all that drama and try and figure out what she means. What purpose does it serve to spill the detail that she got delivered some vibrators meant for Melissa?

The facts definitely make Tammy out to be the wronged party, though – she nursed Melissa through cancer, gave up her career to raise their children, and then got pushed aside while Melissa took up with her former best friend. I felt more sympathy for Tammy before she chimed in to say “I would have told you so,” and “Oh, Melissa’s dildos got delivered to my house.” What’s more is that Tammy has to let everyone know that she’s got a new girlfriend too. What’s next for her – a reality show? It’s not like she’s going to be able to write a book without a ghostwriter.

These photos are from 2007 (above) and 2005 (below). Credit: WENN.com

This is a really juicy piece of gossip when you take it in context. Melissa Etheridge is now dating her ex wife Tammy Lynn Michael’s former best friend, who served as the “best woman” at their commitment ceremony in 2003. (Tammy Lynn and Melissa never legally married when it was possible before Prop 8 passed, but they did have a traditional-type wedding.) We heard all sorts of drama about Melissa and her ex when they broke up last year. Michaels complained on her blog that Etheridge wasn’t providing enough support for her to feed and house their now four year-old twins, and Etheridge’s lawyer countered that his client was providing $2,000 a month and paying all the bills. When you consider how wealthy Melissa is, that really isn’t that much. Last year, Tammy’s lawyer told In Touch that Tammy suspected Melissa was cheating. He said, “There were all the usual signs. Strange comings and goings and lots of days and nights absent.” Now we may know who the other woman is.

[Melissa Etheridge] is “hot and heavy” with Hollywood producer/writer Linda Wallem, the creative force behind the hit cable TV series “Nurse Jackie,” according to an insider.

“Linda has been talking constantly on the set about how she and Melissa are in love and how they’re in a committed relationship,” the insider said.

Melissa and Linda – who are both 49 and were born on the same day, May 29, 1961 – have known each other for years. Linda was the best friend of the singer’s ex partner, Tammy Lynn Michaels, according to one of Tammy’s friends.

When Tammy and Melissa exchanged wedding vows in 2003 in a lavish ceremony at Dick Clark’s Malibu estate, Linda was in the wedding party.

“In lesbian terms, Linda was the ‘best lady,’” the friend said. “Now she’s taken Tammy’s place.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, January 24, 2011]

So did Melissa wait until she ended things with Tammy before taking up with their mutual friend? From the way Tammy explained Melissa’s behavior before their split, it’s doubtful.

Meanwhile Melissa’s new girlfriend might create a sitcom in which Melissa will star:

Linda is planning to write a sitcom for Melissa, described as a reverse “Will & Grace,” where the singer would portray a gay teacher living with a straight man.

And the pair want to collaborate on a musical play that Linda is developing.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition]

We haven’t heard much lately about Melissa and Tammy’s court battle for custody and support. It looks like Melissa has moved on while she’s left the mother of her children high and dry.

Melissa Etheridge is shown on 10/6/10. Linda Wallem is shown below on 5/3/10. Credit: WENN.com

Linda Wallem:

Tammy Lynn Michaels and Melissa in 2002 (credit: Fame)

Melissa Etheridge’s ex, Tammy Lynn Michaels, is blogging again. She’s previously penned entries to her blog about how Melissa has left her sick, broke and nearly homeless, but has since deleted some of those entries. Etheridge claims to pay Michaels $2,000 a month in cash along with providing for all the bills, but Michaels says that’s not enough to get by and that she should be entitled to “alimony, child support and division of the assets.” Her lawyer says she is entitled live in the same manner she was accustomed to, which amounts to $60,000 a month under California law Melissa and Tammy were never married under Prop 8 in California but they did have a huge wedding/commitment ceremony in 2003. They were together for nine years and have two children together, a twin boy and girl who are about to turn four. Michaels claims to have given up a lucrative television career to become a stay-at-home mom to their children, along with helping raise Etheridge’s two older children from her relationship with Julie Cypher, Bailey Jean, 13, and Beckett, 12.

Now Michaels is blogging again, and while it’s hard to decipher her writing it’s clear that she’s broke, scared, hurt and unsure how she’s going to make ends meet. She says that she can’t really get a job because she can only work from 8:30 – 1:45 while the twins are in school. Michaels’ brother is living with her and it sounds like he’s helping out, although she still can’t afford to even pay for lunch at times. Here’s some of what she wrote.

when i went to get cash
just last week
for the three of us to eat
nothing

today i was shopping for birthday decor
4th next sunday!
little cash for lunch?
nope- not enough funds
no food

“pays all her bills”
not entirely true

my medical bills?
yes- insurance covers it all
for a small monthly fee
the house? i didn’t pick it out
they did
the kids’ education?
she chose the private schooling
i’m fine if they’re in public…

and i don’t think i know what love is, or a promise. and romance? smoke and mirrors, ladies!!! smoke and mirrors! don’t fall for it! it’s all a line up for bull that’ll leave you with saggy boobs and stretch marks in the end.

and to be honest?

what the f*ck is marriage all about anyway? i thought i did everything i was supposed to do. support support support. love family, be there, love, right? all for naught or have i still everything to learn about love? and that was nothing? or the letting go of this is THEE LESSON of loving. argh.

someone told me that chemotherapy just messes with a brain chemistry, changes the brain, the person, and makes them just in general different. they might b meaner, or illogical, often imbalanced, or whatever. but they just don’t come out the same. hardly ever, i am told. and they can’t help it. it just is.

and i think about that alot too…

someone asked about getting a job. okay. well.let’s talkaboutthisheregirlfriend…… i have “help” until 2 pm a lot. i can’t tell my bosses that i can work each day until between the hours of 830 and 145. tv hours aren’t like that, waitressing ours aren’t like that sadly…. strippers hours aren’t like that, whores’ hours aren’t like that, secretary hours’ aren’t like that, starbucks’ jobs aren’t like that… crossed my mind this morning to get a paper route, though. that’s a quick job, but i bet a lot has changed since i was 11. but thank goodness i was able to go home that day and eat- not like in haiti where you eat dirt cookies. while i drove, i spit brown stomach bile into my cup, and rinsed with water. then when i got home i simply ate a bagel. it’s not really great for my stomach to sit empty right now. like being pregnant, but no baby inside. but then my friend and i laughed… cuz once i am able to get my twins so set and solid and older, THEN there’s jobs for me, and i’ll be open.

[From HollywoodFarmGirl.Blogspot.com via Radar Online]

It’s really cheap of Etheridge not to provide to Michaels. She was married to her for seven years, they had two kids together, and Etheridge needs to make sure that Michaels can afford to support their children. Michaels is not making herself into a sympathetic figure by blogging, though. I can’t even tell in that last paragraph above if she’s saying she tried a paper route recently and it made her sick or if she used to feel sick and need to spit in a cup when she did it as a kid. It’s just confusing and frankly comes across as whiny. She has every right to whine of course, but she’s not making a great case for herself despite her very stark reality.

Etheridge recently told People Magazine that she’s ready to date again and that her kids can “can see the reasons that people aren’t together… and understand that it’s more peaceful and happier” now that she and Michaels are apart. In response, Michaels blogged that Etheridge should make her private actions match what she’s telling the media about how she’s striving for peace and harmony. At least that’s what I think she was saying.

In Touch scored an exclusive interview with the lawyer representing Melissa Etheridge’s ex, Tammy Lynn Michaels. Michaels has asserted through a series of (now deleted) entries on her blog that she’s dead broke, having given up an acting career to raise their now three year-old twins. She’s also claimed to be sickand about to be evicted from her home. When this story first came out, on was on Michaels’ side as it sounded like Etheridge left her abruptly after nine years, leaving her without much to live on and fending for herself. Now I’m not so sure, though, as Michaels has sounded whiny and out of touch on her blog. There’s much more to the story than we’re hearing.

In his In Touch interview, Michaels’ lawyer lays out his client’s suspicions and provides more background on how little money she’s being given to live on.

Now In Touch can reveal the real reason the breakup came out of the blue. “Tammy suspects that there’s another woman in the situation,” Tammy’s lawyer, Steven Knowles, exclusively tells In Touch. “Even before papers were signed, there were all the usual signs. Strange comings and goings and lots of days and nights absent…

“Tammy says Melissa doesn’t even ask about the kids and rarely sees them… Frankly, this is an unfortunately and common phenomenon among divorcing spouses.”

Tammy feels that Melissa, 49, has not only abandoned the family emotionally, she’s also neglecting them financially, adds Knowles.

“Tammy has a very small credit card stipend of $2,000 a month…

“When they were in court, Melissa was forced to give her $2,000 in cash, but that was fought tool and nail…

“Tammy should be entitled to alimony, child support and division of the assets…

“Tammy and the children are entitled to live in the same manner that Melissa is accustomed to.” And when calculated on the statewide program, DissoMaster, it totals up to “$60,000 a month…

“Melissa’s attitude is that Tammy is used up and needs to be cut out as cheaply as possible.”

[From In Touch, print edition, August 2, 2010]

I guess I don’t blame Michaels for using the press to hit back at Etheridge when she has little money to live on. It sounds bitter and petty to put it out there, but I understand the urge. The article is incorrect on one point, though. They note that “their relationship was legal under California law,” which is technically true, but Tammy and Melissa had a civil partnership, not a legal marriage as they never took advantage of the chance to make it a full marriage before Prop 8 passed. They did have a big traditional wedding attended by other celebrities in 2003. Etheridge even bitched after Prop 8 passed that she didn’t need to pay state taxes because “that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights.” Now she’s probably glad she didn’t have the same rights, because she doesn’t have the same responsibilities.

Header: Melissa on June 26, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Just yesterday we heard from Melissa Etheridge’s ex, Tammy Lynn Micheals, that she was sick and broke, having been left scrambling for money to buy food and gas and pay doctor’s bills since her split with the rock star. Michaels cares for her three year old twins with Etheridge and claims that she gave up a lucrative acting career to be a stay-at-home mom while Etheridge focused on her work. Now Etheridge is claiming in new court papers that Michaels scammed her by asking her to come to a hotel to see the twins and serving her with divorce papers instead. That would have happened after Etheridge served Michaels with dissolution of partnership papers. It may have been vindictive to use the children as bait in order to serve divorce papers, but it’s not like she did it out of the blue. The least she could have done is to let Melissa see the kids first and then get the process server in. Here’s US Weekly’s report on what happened.

Another bitter chapter in the Melissa Etheridge-Tammy Michaels split.

In a declaration released Thursday, Etheridge, 49, accuses Michaels, 35, of using their 3-year-old twins as “pawns.”

She claims that on July 6 — during a break from her summer tour — Michaels told her their kids were going to meet her at her Boston hotel.

A short time later, she “received a text message … stating, ‘My plans changed, sorry,’” the singer recounts in the court papers, obtained by E! News.

Etheridge says she was then served with court papers from her ex.

Etheridge says it was “a ploy to have me served, and mistakenly believing that by serving me, I would have to dismiss my Petition … [she] used our children as pawns.”

Etheridge’s claim is an attempt to fight back at Michaels, who is asking for in excess of $12,000 a month to take care of the kids and find work. See more volcanic relationships.

Michaels, a former actress who is now a full-time homemaker, claims she has no income.

Michaels says she doesn’t see why Etheridge can’t support her, considering that the rocker rakes in between $600,000 and $750,000 a month.

Etheridge’s attorney says the singer currently gives Michaels $2,000 a month and pays all of her household bills. Etheridge announced she had split from Michaels earlier this year.

[From US Weekly]

This is a cheap move. According to Michaels, Etheridge promised her she wouldn’t file for separation until the fall, only to be surprised when she was served papers. So I guess in retaliation she got a lawyer and served Etheridge papers, using the excuse of seeing their kids in order to make sure she would be there.

I used to be on Michaels’ side because I believed her claims that Etheridge had left her broke and wasn’t providing for her. The more she blogs the more she seems unstable and possibly embellishing to make herself out to be the wronged party, though. She’s since deleted a couple of blog entires, so even if she didn’t personally have the revelation that it was stupid to whine about her breakup online she wisely followed her lawyer’s advice to stop doing it. Meanwhile their poor kids are stuck in the middle. I hope for their sake that Michaels and Etheridge are able to put aside their differences and successfully co-parent. Given everything we’ve heard so far, it doesn’t seem likely.

Header photo is from 2002. Photo below is from 2001. Credit: Fame Pictures.

The last we heard about Melissa Etheridge’s split from her partner of nine years, Tammy Lynn Michaels, Micheals’ lawyer was shot down in court on a request for $25,000 to tide his client over until a monetary agreement was reached for their divorce/partnership dissolution. Michaels has taken to her blog on several occasions to creatively explain her side of the breakup. According to Michaels, Etheridge emotionally withdrew from the relationship while Michaels was busy caring for their three year-old twins and later broke up with her with little explanation or warning. Then Etheridge filed to make their split official after promising to delay the process, leaving her broke and struggling to pay daily expenses. Only Etheridge’s lawyer was able to prove that his client was providing for Michaels by paying all the bills and giving her an additional $2,000 a month. The judge was satisfied that Michaels had enough to get by and denied the request for additional money.

Now Michaels has blogged that she’s sick and needs expensive medical care that she can’t afford. She also is facing eviction from her rented home in 45 days. How is that the case if Etheridge is paying the rent as she claims? Here’s Michaels’ now-deleted blog entry, which explains her side of the story but frankly doesn’t do much for her case.

ulcers to gallbladder to pancreas to liver and then…?
a dillar
a dollar
a trick or treat
hollar
need some help
need some honesty
need some real
call ‘er
no answer

gallbladder
pancreas
liver
ulcers
MRIs
ultrasounds
gotta get it done
on pennies now?
somethings going on

gotta get a job
with barf bag in hand?
and leave my twins with who?
and with what babysitting money?

a dillar
a dollar
a trick or treat
hollar

this too shall pass
cuz i believe in miracles
and
miracles look like rainbows.

oh. and we have to be out of our rental in 45 days.
man, i love a challenge.

[From Tammy Lynn Michaels' blog via Huffington Post]

I get the gist of what Michaels is saying, but this writing style is so vague and hard to decipher that I’m not feeling as much sympathy for her as I used to. There’s something very whiny about it, which is completely understandable if she’s sick and scared. It’s just easier to relate to a situation when it’s explained in complete sentences.

Michaels seems to have realized that she’s not coming across well, or maybe her lawyer had a talk with her about sharing her personal business while a court case was pending. She’s since deleted the above blog entry as well as at least one earlier entry in which she described how she gave up her career to care for her children with Etheridge.

I’m not sure exactly whose side I’m on in this messy divorce, but it sounds awfully cheap to give the mother of your children a mere $24,000 a year to live on when you’re a multimillionaire rock star. I hope Michaels gets enough money to live on, and that she has decent health insurance. It’s the least that Etheridge can do.

Header image is from 4/17/08. Credit: PRPhotos

People Magazine has an interesting back and forth between Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michael’s lawyers commenting on the state of Tammy Lynn’s finances. As you might remember, Melissa and Tammy Lynn split up recently after nine years and two kids together. Melissa told the press that the split was mutual while Tammy Lynn blogged that she was blindsided by both the breakup and by Etheridge filing to legally end their partnership. (They were not legally married during the time when it was possible in California.) She also described how she gave up a lucrative acting career in order to raise their twins while Etheridge worked on her music.

After filing for full legal custody, Tammy Lynn’s lawyer noted to TMZ that his client was completely broke and had just $4 to her name. Melissa’s lawyer countered at the time that “Melissa is paying all of Tammy’s expenses, which totals tens of thousands of dollars per month.” Tammy Lynn is seeking spousal support while Melissa’s filing for joint custody requests that she get none.

In a court hearing on Monday, Tammy Lynn requested $25,000 immediately to pay for expenses along with an additional $25,000 for lawyers fees. The initial $25,000 was denied based on Melissa’s claim that she pays for all of Tammy’s household expenses. (TMZ has that story, and it sounds like the issue of lawyer’s fees was deferred, although they don’t specify.)

According to Melissa’s lawyer, his client pays Tammy Lynn $2,000 a month in addition to covering all of the other expenses. If that’s true why is Tammy claiming that she has to borrow money from friends for gas, then? Here’s People’s story on what Melissa allegedly pays for:

Has Melissa Etheridge left her ex and their twins broke?

That’s what Tammy Etheridge’s attorney claimed in an L.A. courtroom on Monday – but Melissa’s lawyer says that’s not the case.

“[Tammy] is being completely supported by Melissa and has been since they separated,” Melissa’s attorney Neal Hersh told PEOPLE after appearing at a hearing. “She’s being well-provided for and then some, as are the children, which are Melissa’s first priority.”

The singer has been giving the former Tammy Lynn Michaels $2,000 a month and pays household bills including utilities and a car lease, the lawyer says.

Tammy’s attorney Steven Knowles acknowledges, “Melissa is paying various sundry expenses,” but says that Tammy, 35, and their 3-year-old twins, Johnnie and Miller, are “destitute.” Knowles adds, “It doesn’t put money in her wallet. Literally she has no cash.”

Knowles also claims Tammy’s credit card has been declined when she’s tried to purchase groceries and clothing for their children, something Hersh says is, if true, “a one-off situation.”

Melissa, 49, and Tammy, 35, split late last year after nearly nine years together. Melissa is seeking joint custody of their twins, while Tammy is seeking full custody.

[From People]

Tammy Lynn hasn’t blogged in about a week and a half. Her last entry was on how shocked she was that Etheridge had filed paperwork to make their split official, having promised that she would wait to file until the fall. I would say that I’m team Tammy Lynn, but only if it’s true that Melissa isn’t providing for her living expenses beyond the mortgage, utilities and other bills. It does sound incredibly cheap and petty of Melissa to deny Tammy Lynn $25,000 to live on for the next few months. (That may be a lot of money to you or me, but Melissa is a millionaire.) Tammy Lynn has been raising their twins and has dedicated her life to being there for them. Melissa Etheridge is currently touring to promote her new album. It’s not like she can’t afford $25,000 for the mother of her youngest children. This really speaks to how contentious their split must be.

Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels are shown in 2005 and 2006. Credit: WENN.com

Things are heating up in the high profile split between singer Melissa Etheridge, 49, and her partner of nine years, Tammy Lynn Michaels, 35. Etheridge recently filed to dissolve the partnership (the two were not legally married), which came as a surprise to Michaels, who blogged that Etheridge was breaking a promise not to file until the fall. Michaels also made it clear that she gave up her acting career to raise her now three year-old twins with Etheridge. According to Michaels, Etheridge emotionally and physically withdrew from the relationship and then left her high and dry without providing for the children’s welfare. She claimed that she’s been forced to borrow money from friends to pay for gas and food.

In her filing Etheridge sought joint custody of the children without spousal support for Michaels. In response Michaels filed for full custody, claiming that Etheridge wasn’t around enough to be an effective parent, and is seeking spousal support. What’s more is that Michaels’ lawyer claims his client has just $4 left, while Etheridge’s lawyer counters that she’s still paying the bills.

Melissa Etheridge has left Tammy Lynn Michaels and the two children they have together high and dry … this according to Tammy’s lawyer Steven Knowles. But Melissa says Tammy is delusional.

Knowles tells TMZ Tammy has a grand total of $4 to her name … adding, “Melissa has not been treating Tammy or the children as if they are a wife and children, financially and otherwise.”

Knowles says Melissa has not given Tammy or the kids a penny since the breakup … and she is now destitute.

TMZ broke the story, Melissa filed for dissolution of her domestic partnership with Tammy last week.

On Tuesday, Tammy filed her own legal docs … but she is asking for a dissolution of marriage. According to Knowles, even though Tammy and Melissa were not legally married in California, “They were married in their own eyes and in the eyes of the world … and Melissa was the first to say they were, in fact, married.”

BTW – Tammy is asking for spousal support – something she can’t get if she is not “married.”

As we first told you, Melissa wants joint custody … but Tammy is asking for full legal and physical custody.

Knowles tells us Melissa can’t possibly be a participant in the custody agreement because her schedule makes it impossible to be a meaningful parent.

Melissa’s lawyer, Neal Hersh, tells TMZ, “Melissa is paying all of Tammy’s expenses, which totals tens of thousands of dollars per month.”

[From TMZ]

Let’s assume that Etheridge’s lawyer is telling the truth and that she’s still paying for the mortgage and utilities on the home where Michaels and the children are living. (At least that’s how I interpreted that statement. Etheridge might be giving her money for incidentals, but it doesn’t sound like it.) If that’s the case, why can’t she also give her money for gas, food and living expenses? Many of you warned me in our last story not to just believe Michaels’ account that she was dead broke and to question whether she was telling the truth or not. I’m on Michaels’ side now and do believe that it went down that way and that she has no money left. None of us know what went on in that marriage (and it deserves to be called one) that caused it to end but if it’s true that Etheridge is leaving Michaels without a dime that’s despicable.

Amid all this mess things may pick up for Michaels’ career. She’s slated to star in a same sex romantic comedy, Nicest Thing, directed by Amanda Bearse. (Marcy from Married… with Children. Can you believe it?) Wikipedia has the film starting production this year.

Melissa Etheridge’s estranged partner, Tammy Lynn Michaels, maintains a blog and has posted a few entries making it clear that their breakup was not mutual. According to Michaels, it was Etheridge who chose to end things after emotionally withdrawing from the relationship. In our last story on one of Michael’s posts detailing her side of the split, I wrote that she should really try to keep her personal business offline. Etheridge has talked about the breakup while promoting her album but has been vague about the circumstances, simply saying that they drifted apart and that it didn’t happen overnight. Michaels made it clear that it was much more sudden in her experience and that Etheridge is glossing over her role in the split.

Now Etheridge has filed to legally end the partnership and is trying to ensure that Michaels is not awarded support. (They did not marry in the window of time before Prop 8 passed, but had a traditional-type wedding ceremony in 2003). She is seeking joint custody of their three year-old twins, boy Miller and daughter Johnnie. Michaels wants us to know that she was blindsided by the filing and that Etheridge promised her she wouldn’t file until the fall. She also writes that she gave up her career to raise their kids, and that she is currently so broke she has to borrow money from friends and family to pay for food and gas:

i am wondering if it’s an art

gentle waves
no noise for awhile
or maybe gentle voices

and

SMACK!!!!!!!!!!!!
FILE FOR DIVORCE!!!!!!
even though we both promised
agreed
handshook
pinkyswore

no filing until after tour
in the fall

her broken promises
told to me by
headlines….

---

“you know what?” i said. “do you want me to take a year off? take care of the kids? i can be here when you’re gone, get them at school, bake for them, do the school stuff, and just catch them when you’re not here. want me to do that?”

her face lit up like i was giving her a present she wanted but could never name. “would you do that??? you would do that???”

“sure! i’ve always wanted to make a home anyway! i’ll make a home for you and me and the kids, and you go and do your thang with your guitar!”

we laughed and hugged, and she said it was perfect, and it was what she had always wanted anyways, but didn’t want to ask anybody to do it for her….. make her a home…. etc. and that night was perfect. sitting on the porch, under the stars, back when we lived on the house on Mandeville canyon, near the ocean.

i gave up my managers, agents, contacts, all that good stuff, because i stepped directly into potty training a small boy, and carrying around a small girl on my hip. both excellent souls. and i was a very huge part in raising them for many many years while She with the Guitar focused on her Guitar.

i was always the house wife after that. the only thing i hated about it was not bringing in money- i have made my own money since i started babysitting at 10, and having a newspaper route at 11. having no steady paycheck killed me for those years with her. and now it’s really killing me. the other week i had to borrow money from a friend. two weeks ago i had to scrape together $1.25 to pay for gas. i know she doesn’t want to give me money. trust. i’m borrowing cash left and right from people to get through this summer, and feed my kids, with a stomach full of ulcers, thank you. no stress here.

[From two different entries on HollywoodFarmGirl.Blogspot.com]

In May I wrote that didn’t think that Michaels should air her personal business online. It’s more the way that Michaels is expressing herself rather than the fact that she’s telling us. It’s deplorable that Etheridge is not taking care of her children’s mother. She’s a millionaire and could easy make sure Michaels can pay her bills. This is just too raw and personal to be put out there like this, though. Michaels could earn just as much if not more sympathy will some carefully leaked stories to the press. Look at how Shania Twain told People Magazine that her husband was cheating on her with her best friend. She did it by attributing the news to “sources” through one of the most respected celebrity outlets. (Although that’s questionable given how much attention they’ve been paying to cheesy reality stars lately.)

Michaels could be a little more media savvy about all this, but I can’t begrudge her saying her peace piece. This is just another example of why it should be legal for same sex couples to marry. They need just as many rights when they get divorced, too.

Melissa Etheridge and her longterm partner, Tammy Michaels, announced their split last month after nine years together. We primarily heard Etheridge’s side of the story that the split was “mutual” when she was inevitably asked about it on the press tour for her new album. Michaels briefly posted two semi-cryptic blog entries that made it sound like the split was more one-sided. She wrote that she was “blind sided” and hinted that Etheridge was spinning the story for her own purposes. Those posts were subsequently deleted, though, and it seemed like that was the last time we would hear about it for a while. Now Michaels, who is the biological mom to twins with Etheridge, son Miller Steven and daughter Johnny Rose, 3 and a half, has posted a follow up accusing Etheridge of emotionally and physically withdrawing from the relationship while she took care of the children and held down the fort:

no more censorship for me?
well, no censorship?
really, honey?
awesome.

things can be a long time coming
to one
and smash the hell out of
another:
hit and run
not even staying to clean up the mess

secrets, with-holding,
whispering to all but
the one whom holds the vows
and the toddlers

disappearances into the
hourglass-shaped wood with strings
never to finish a fight
never interested in clarifying,
making sense, making it right
even finishing the fight
more interested in making something rhyme
time after time after time
and later angsting that you and me, WE
it didn’t work out
you evolved
you needed to be happy-
but really… you withdrew your hands
from family and intimacy
to pluck those strings more

i’d rather hear 10,000 fans
screaming my name in worship
than hear my wife harp on me
about my family intimacy issues too,
you know?
which one is going to get me harder?
easy answer

sideswiped and left mangled
up to my eyes in toilet training toddlers
and sounds of a guitar wailing
letting me know
you would probably leave me soon
i know those heart-ache wails by now

i even told you it was a break up album
and you laughed at me
you laughed and laughed
i heard fearless and i got sick
“that’s your break up song with me”
i said to you
you got so angry with me, remember?
and stomped off

so thank you for telling an interviewer
that you WON’T censor me on my blog
(i thought i was to say nothing, my bad)
i was so unhappy thinking people dare look at me
and think that i consider
a marriage and forever to be
nine years or six years or whatever
and i gave up on everything
and just walked off
never is that me… nope, never

cuz i did not go anywhere, honey.
and you and i both know it
please stop telling the press it was mutual-

my birthday rolled around,
the holidays….
and me and the twins sat right there waiting…
we didn’t go anywhere. we just
sat and waited and waited and waited and waited…..

“i saw you with your new friends….
you wear them so well….”

i think you’re saying it’s okay
to be more open now on this blog?
whew.
good. cuz sitting on the fence of
“speak true”
and
“say nothing”

f@%#*ing rides a pole so far up my ass it nearly pierces my brain, and i can’t take it anymore, now that i am back home where people don’t live in the smoke and mirrors.

oh, and don’t let me forget this.

i still love that damn woman so much, i’m still trying to stop. i had a dream last where honey and i were fighting and going to get a divorce, and i woke up sobbing…. then i realized. oh. it’s true. and then what do you do? when the horrible feeling in the dream gets to stay even after you wake up?

there. there is my truth as of today.

home again.
home again.
feeling true.
feeling honest.

[From Tammy Michaels' blog via Huffington Post]

I’ve read this many places and it seems to be coming up often now that there’s this whole issue over Facebook privacy: when you’re going through a split do not air your dirty laundry online! You should even be careful about who you tell your business to, as even your closest friends may have allegiances to your ex. As mad as you are over how your ex is portraying you or your split, it’s better to suck it up and take the high road. You can talk to a few carefully chosen friends and should be careful not to let the world know your business.

The way Michaels words this, it sounds like Etheridge pulled away and was absorbed in her work instead of working out differences as they came up. This happens in many relationships, and it’s not helpful to blame the other person or to act like the victim. At least in public. You can bitch the person out all you want to your best friend.

Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels are shown on 4/18/07. Etheridge is shown performing on Good Morning America on 4/30/10. Credit: WENN.com