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Feb 1
'12
Michael Fassbender versus Viggo Mortensen: who looked hotter in London?

When you put Viggo Mortensen and Michael Fassbender together, standing side-by-side, people are going to pay attention. For some reason, we feel like we have to choose. Like we can’t take one of each from the dong buffet, like it’s a dongy cage-match, Viggo versus Fassy. Over the past months, as Viggo and Michael promoted A Dangerous Method, I’ve set up various “cage matches” to see who you, gentle reader, would choose. Shall we do it again?

These are photos of Viggo and Michael from last night’s gala premiere of A Dangerous Method in London. I went a little bit overboard with the photo gallery because… you know… I can’t resist new Fassy photos. Go ahead and scream about my bias – Fassy looks better in these pics. I’m not sure what Viggo is trying to accomplish in that cream suit. Not just a cream suit – I think it’s corduroy? And he paired it with a black shirt and tie? Odd. I do like the way Viggo looks here, though – his face looks good, and it doesn’t seem like he’s wearing too much foundation. It’s just that Fassy always looks sexier to me at the end of the day. Sigh…

Shall I say some bad things about Fassy just so I don’t die of Fass-lust? Here goes… I don’t like his hair this short. It ages him. And I don’t think he should wear jeans (much less SKINNY JEANS) for his premiere. Say what you will about Viggo’s fug suit, but at least he wore a suit.

We should have a man thrown-down over their profiles. I love Fassy’s profile. I’m a whore for a good profile.

Really, though. Who would you rather?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Posted in Hot guys, Michael Fassbender, Viggo Mortensen

Written by Kaiser         92 Comments »
Jan 31
'12
Viggo Mortensen is still with his homewrecked girlfriend Ariadna Gil, in Spain

Here are some new photos of Viggo Mortensen and his girlfriend Ariadna Gil in Madrid, Spain yesterday. I’d actually been wondering if Viggo was still with Ariadna – I hadn’t seen them together in a while, and during Viggo’s promotion of A Dangerous Method, he didn’t get any questions about his love life, and Ariadna was nowhere around.

According to random gossip, Viggo is a homewrecker – Ariadna was married (with a kid too) when she met Viggo, and they had some kind of affair. Ariadna allegedly left her husband for Viggo and never looked back, although… there have been rumors about Viggo and other women too, right? My take on this situation is that Ariadna is his “official” girlfriend but in his mind, they aren’t exclusive. Ariadna has been his “official” for years now – I guess Viggo isn’t the kind of dude who wants to get married again – he only did it once, when he was very young. He’s too much of a poet, I suppose, to get married again.

Anyway, this is just your daily reminder. Viggo Mortensen has a girlfriend. But if you’re married and you have a kid, he’s probably still up for it, you know? Silver lining. You too could be in Spain, boning Viggo right now.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Posted in Ariadna Gil, Viggo Mortensen

Written by Kaiser         59 Comments »
Dec 13
'11
Viggo Mortensen versus Vincent Cassel: who would you choose in a dong buffet?

I was going to write about some new photos of Jude Law & Robert Downey Jr., but those pics weren’t all that sexy at the end of the day. So how about some Viggo Mortensen and Vincent Cassel? Vincent and Viggo were doing a photo call in Paris for A Dangerous Method… where was my lovely Fassbender? Well, I think Michael has pretty much called it quits on promoting A Dangerous Method, and now he’s spending his time, money and effort securing an Oscar nomination for Best Actor for Shame. It’s not a bad wager, honestly, but I miss him at these Dangerous Method photo calls.

But let’s talk about Vig and Vin. I still think Viggo looks like crap with this hair length, honestly. I’m not saying he should shave it all off… maybe just take off an inch or two? I also want him to eat some carbs in the hopes that some of it will go to his face. His face is increasingly looking more and more Ed Harris-esque. Now, I love Ed Harris, but the man looks old as dirt, and Viggo now has that walking-skull-like visage.

Vincent, meanwhile, looks… well, I love him. He’s very sexy, although something is off with his styling. Granted, if I was given a buffet of only unlimited Vincent or unlimited Viggo, I would totally opt for unlimited Vincent. I know I’m in the minority. Go ahead and yell at me.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Posted in Viggo Mortensen, Vincent Cassel

Written by Kaiser         91 Comments »
Dec 5
'11
Viggo Mortensen: “Life is too short to work with idiots who are rude and selfish”

This weekend’s New York Times Magazine had a very good cover boy – Viggo Mortensen! He looks much better in these photos than he did in those red carpet pics from a few weeks ago, but I think some of that is a better hairstyle. He’s 53 years old, and I swear, as he gets older, he’s looking more and more like Ed Harris. Right? Anyway, Viggo is talking about A Dangerous Method in this interview, but his conversation isn’t limited to that, at all. One of the great things about Viggo – he’s a talker. And he actually has interesting stuff to say. In this piece – which you can read in its entirety here – Viggo calls himself “harsh” and he’s totally a judgy bitch about his fellow actors. I like this Viggo.

Longing for immortality: “I’m not afraid of death,” he said, wiping down a counter with a damp cloth, “but I resent it. I think it’s unfair and irritating. Every time I see something beautiful, I not only want to return to it, but it makes me want to see other beautiful things. I know I’m not going to get to all the places I want to go. I’m not going to read all the books I want to read. I’m not going to revisit certain paintings as many times as I would like. There’s a limit.” He paused. “I mean, I understand limits are good for character and all that, but I would rather live forever.”

He eschews the celebrity lifestyle: “I don’t have lots of friends in the business, and the ones I do have are probably more like me, in that they’re not the kind of people to go places just so they can be seen. I see people doing that stuff and to me, it seems pathetic and ridiculous and kind of . . . well, humiliating. Life’s too short.”

He has contempt for famewhores and actors who just work for the money: “Sometimes you look at a movie and you can see that the actor or actress said, ‘I’m taking this onboard because I’m making a ton of money, and not because it’s going to be something special,’ ” he said, sounding scandalized. In choosing his own projects, his chief criterion is always “a good story.”

His film choices: “An agent will say, if you have the option, it’s good to do a big movie and then a little one. I understand that and within reason, I’ll try to, but 90 percent of the time, I’ll end up in low-budget movies that are difficult to finance and often won’t get distributed very well. I could have done one big-studio movie after another if the goal was to stay as visible as possible, to make as much money as possible. I guess, because of my temperament, I didn’t want to. I wouldn’t have been telling good stories. The challenge would have always been to try not to make a total ass of myself, even though I knew the story was really stupid.”

He played Dr. Freud because he wanted a chance to talk: “I haven’t been given the chance to play men who speak much. The parts that people — including David [Cronenberg] — normally give me are men of few words, people who express what they’re thinking or what they’re afraid of or what their goals are, physically. With Freud, it was all words.”

Viggo on his habit of doing meticulous research for his films: “It’s enjoyable and stimulating. I learn things. It’s particularly important to me, because I have had experiences where the shoot has been really annoying and unprofessional, and the director has made poor choices and the movie has not turned out well. But however it turns out, I always feel that I’ve got something out of it, because of the experiences I’ve had and the knowledge I’ve got from the preparation stage.”

His career before Lord of the Rings: “For a long time after I started out, I couldn’t get anything. I mean, I’d do a small play, or one scene in a TV thing — I’d get just enough encouragement to keep me going — but I wasn’t making a living at it.” There were many false starts. Twice, he said, he had scenes in movies — Jonathan Demme’s “Swing Shift” and Woody Allen’s “Purple Rose of Cairo” — that ended up on the cutting-room floor. “I wasn’t told. Months go by, the movie comes out, I tell my parents — you know, my whole family. They go see it, and I’m not in it. The scene isn’t there. They think I’ve lost my mind. They’re like, What are you really doing in Los Angeles?”

Being demoralized: In 1990, he got the lead in “The Indian Runner,” directed by Sean Penn. “And everyone said, ‘Oh, boy, you’re set.’ But I wasn’t. I don’t know, maybe I didn’t capitalize. I don’t know what I was supposed to do. People would tell me do this, do that, fire this guy. . . .” It was not until 1993 that he began getting a steady flow of work — “supporting parts in studio movies, a job or two a year.” He admits to having become demoralized on occasion. “But I guess I kept being curious. I was curious as to how movies were made. It wasn’t, like, I wanted to be famous or anything like that. I liked the idea of telling these stories, the make-believe aspect. I wanted to do it, to try it. I don’t know.”

He holds grudges: Certainly, his years working in relative obscurity gave him plenty of examples of how not to behave as a famous actor. He remembers every bit of on-set misbehavior he ever observed, with astonishing clarity. (Holding grudges is one of his vices, he says.) He remembers the actors who didn’t come to set because they were hung over after a night of drinking, or who came and behaved horribly. He remembers the leading actors who did little tricks to throw him off. “I see it now with veteran actors doing it to younger actors, and the young guys don’t even know that it’s happening. I’ll say to them, ‘Watch out, he’s already done his close-up, and he did a great job. Now it’s your close-up, and he’s tickling you and distracting you and telling you stories.’” He also remembers the actors who didn’t even bother to show up when it was time to do their off-camera work. “Earlier in my career, I saw a lot of important actors and actresses splitting when they had done their close-ups. You’d say, ‘Where’s so and so?’ and they’d have gone home, so you’d end up doing your close-up with an assistant director. It makes your work harder and it also makes you feel disrespected.” He no longer tolerates this sort of thing. “If someone comes up to me and says, ‘Do you mind if I go?’ I’ll look them right in the eye and say, ‘I don’t want you here, if you don’t want to do it.’ If they say, ‘Oh, fine, I’ll stay,’ I’ll be like: ‘No, go. You’ve told me who you are, get out of here.’ I’d rather do it without them. When someone does that to me, it’s like, Boom, I’m not working with you again.”

He admits that he’s harsh: “Yeah, well, about that stuff I am harsh. There’s no excuse for that behavior. You’re tired? Come on! The crew isn’t tired? The crew who got here two hours before you, and who’ll be here two hours after you leave and who are being paid, in many cases, one thousandth of what you’re being paid? Come on! I always thought treating people well was probably the most important thing, but now I’m convinced,” he adds. “Life is too short to work with idiots — well, not idiots, but people who are rude and selfish.”

More on immortality: “I know I said I wanted to live forever and I would never be bored, but the reality is, it’s probably kind of sad to live forever if you’re the only one sticking around. I guess living through injury and disease is pretty hard too, so I don’t know — maybe immortality is not such a great thing. You know, Freud accepted his lot very stoically and very well and with a sense of humor. He aged and died gracefully and there’s a lot to be said for that. Still, it would be nice to live a little longer, with your mind intact and your body reasonably functioning. . . .”

[From The New York Times]

I think Viggo has every right to judge his fellow actors, and the points that he makes about “bad behavior” and all of the grudges he holds are right on point. But I would like to see Viggo acknowledge that he’s stayed in Hollywood because he genuinely likes being an actor, he likes the process, he likes to work. It feels like he’s so busy bitching about everything (once again, I enjoy his bitching, and he’s earned it) that he doesn’t acknowledge that he could just walk away. I’m glad he hasn’t walked away, truly, but at some point it would be nice for him to acknowledge that he actually likes being a working actor.

Photos courtesy of the NYT.

Posted in Viggo Mortensen

Written by Kaiser         108 Comments »
Nov 21
'11
Viggo Mortensen at a Madrid photo call: still sexy, or looking old and sickly?

I’m not a crazy Viggo Mortensen fan. I think he’s very talented, and I find him attractive sometimes, in some films and on some red carpets. I was never a LOTR fanatic, so I have no strong feelings about him there, either. Basically, whenever I ask myself “Is Viggo Mortensen hot?” I think about the balls out (literally) fight scene in Eastern Promises and then I remember that he’s got the goods.

So these are new photos of Viggo doing a photo call for A Dangerous Method in Madrid, Spain. FOR WHY isn’t Michael Fassbender there?!?!!?!?! I think Fassbender is sticking around LA (and maybe NYC) to just promote the hell out of Shame and really wage a serious Oscar campaign for Best Actor. Still, Fassie could have gotten a free trip to Spain and he and Viggo could have posed together and all would have been right with the world! BOO!!

How do you think Viggo looks here? Something funky is happening to him as he ages – all of a sudden, he’s really starting to resemble Ed Harris, right? Viggo’s cheeks look hallowed out, and he looks kind of sickly. I think the fix is an easy one, though – he should cut his hair and put on about ten pounds. And maybe use a night cream.

By the way, remember we’re doing Hot Guy Thanksgiving this week. I’ve already got Viggo on the list! Who else should we include?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Posted in Photos, Viggo Mortensen

Written by Kaiser         143 Comments »
Oct 25
'11
Michael Fassbender vs. Viggo Mortensen: it’s no longer a fair fight?

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Yesterday, the Viggo Mortensen-Michael Fassbender thing was by far the biggest and best post of the day, no disrespect to all of the other posts. I asked a series of questions regarding the Viggodong and the Fassdong, like “If you had to choose one for a one-night-stand and one for a relationship, which would you choose for what?” I thought it was fair fight, judging from the new Dangerous Method photo call pics – Fassie looked unkempt and randy, Viggo looked dashing and suave. We had a lot of fun trying to choose and come up with situations in which many of us could have equal time with the Sophie’s Choice of dongs.

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But then I was looking through these new photos of last night’s Dangerous Method premiere at the London Film Festival. Okay… it’s no longer a fair fight. FASSBENDER WINS. Can you seriously look at these photos and NOT choose Fassie? Viggo looks like he’s wearing makeup! And the makeup was not applied correctly. Is he wearing lip gloss? Meanwhile, Fassie is all dongy and beautiful in a great grey suit and my GOD his ginger is so dark and gorge. Sigh… Fassbender for a night of passion AND a relationship. No, wait. Viggo for a night, just to see what the fuss is about. And Fassie for forever. Fassbender Eternity. Fassbender Infinity.

That being said, if you still choose Viggo over Fassie, that’s more Fassdong for me. So have at LipGloss Mortensen. (Sidenote: CB just told me that she would still choose Viggo over Fassie, even with the lipstick. So… have at him, ladies. More Fassbender for me!)

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

Posted in Michael Fassbender, Viggo Mortensen

Written by Kaiser         114 Comments »
Oct 24
'11
Michael Fassbender & Viggo Mortensen in London: who would you rather?

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Sigh… it’s now a good day. Mondays usually suck so hard, and it was so inky black when I woke up and I had a dream about a sketchy ex last night and I’ve been thinking about him all morning (he was sketchy, but he was hung) and I can’t wait for Daylight Savings to end so that it will actually be light out when I wake up and basically, today was really sucking. HARD. And then these photos popped up.

Michael Fassbender, with his ginger growing out and now looking so coppery and deep, autumnal red. Then there’s Viggo, who must has found the Fountain of Youth years ago, because this man JUST turned 53 years old – can you believe that? These are photos from the photo call for A Dangerous Method at the London Film Festival. Why didn’t Keira Knightley show up? Because her performance was the weak link in the film? Because she had other junk to do besides stand next to Viggo and Fassie? Further proof that Keira isn’t that bright – she gave up an opportunity to stand next to Fassie and Viggo! How much would you pay for that chance? I have a figure in mind.

So… here’s the question. In some kind of desert island situation, and the rule was “You can only sleep with ONE of these dudes,” who would it be? Fassbender or Viggo? Now here’s another one: if you had to choose one dude to have a relationship with and one dude to just have one night of passion with, which would be your choices? I would pick Viggo for the one night of passion, and Fassie for the relationship. No! Wait. I can’t decide! It’s like the Sophie’s Choice of dong. No, it’s always Fassie. Forever Fassie.

PS… this post better get A LOT of comments. Damn it, we need more Fassie and Viggo on this site!

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

Posted in Michael Fassbender, Viggo Mortensen

Written by Kaiser         211 Comments »
Sep 12
'11
Keira Knightley in lace Elie Saab: lovely or sad and doily-fug?

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I avoided writing about the promotional rounds for A Dangerous Method at the Toronto Film Festival because my Michael Fassbender wasn’t there. He had to pull out of the promotion at the last minute to run back to Venice and collect his Best Actor trophy! So Viggo Mortensen and Keira Knightley were in Toronto to represent the film. It’s not that I dislike either of them – okay, well, Keira plucks my nerves sometimes, but I give her the benefit of the doubt more than some people. Viggo just seems kind of bland to me these days. He’s nice and everything, but with the Fassdong hanging around, who can pay attention to Viggo? Alas, Vincent Cassel didn’t come to Toronto either. Boo!

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So, it was the Viggo and Keira Show, and my, don’t they look friendly. They looked very touchy-feely and friendly during the Venice round too, I just never mentioned it because… you know, The Fassdong. But here they are, giving each other little looks and holding hands. Do I think they’ve ever boned? I don’t know. I think Viggo might be friendly with everybody, and maybe he’s just trying to get the always-morose Keira to brighten up and smile. Or maybe he’s trying to get into her pants. I have no idea. I do know that Keira brought her boyfriend, James Righton, to Toronto. Keira started up with James about two seconds after she and Rupert Friend split.

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Keira wore a colorful Wren dress for the press conference and photo call, and then she switched into the pinkish-beige lace Elie Saab for the Toronto premiere. I like the colorful Wren – Keira’s “casual-wear” has been very good lately. The Elie Saab is kind of meh to me. It reminds me of the spectacular gold lace Valentino she wore in Venice, but the comparison isn’t fair to the Saab. The Valentino was a revelation – the Saab looks like a doily.

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Keira, Viggo, Fassbender and Cronenberg also covered the most recent issue of The Hollywood Reporter. The story is just the insider-industry version of how the film got made – you can read it here. There’s also a new poster for the film, with Keira’s big head still dominating everything. MORE FASSBENDER, PLS.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

Posted in Fashion, Keira Knightley, Viggo Mortensen

Written by Kaiser         63 Comments »
Jan 27
'11
Kristen Stewart could be your new lip-biting, eye-rolling Snow White

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Agent Bedhead emailed me this morning with the news that our joint lover Michael Fassbender was no longer in discussions to play “The Huntsman” in the live-action Snow White reboot, Snow White and the Huntsman. Apparently, Fassbender is now in talks to do a Ridley Scott sci-fi… with my girl Noomi Rapace (Lisbeth Salander in the Swedish Millennium Trilogy films). Bedhead was depressed, because it means that we won’t get to see Fassbender wander around in tights. But I’m happy – because Snow White and the Huntsman is starting to sound like a hot mess. Guess who is in talks to play Snow White now? Kristen Stewart!!! Because Snow White was an angsty, lip-biting, eye-rolling, mouth-breathing, bad-postured, monotone little bitch. No wonder Fassbender pulled out, eh?

Is Kristen Stewart the fairest of them all? The Twilight star is on the list for the role of Snow White in Universal’s Snow White and the Huntsman.

The movie, being directed by Rupert Sanders, is in deep casting mode, with Viggo Mortensen entering negotiations to play the Huntsman earlier Wednesday. Charlize Theron is in negotiations to play the evil queen.

Stewart is a name that Universal has kept coming back to since acquiring the project even as it went through a series of screen tests with actresses such as Riley Keough, Felicity Jones and Alicia Vikander. Emily Browning tested this past weekend (Stewart has reached a point in her career where testing isn’t required).

Stewart, arguably one of the biggest stars in the world thanks to the Twilight movies, has focused on indie projects in between the vampire romancers, and this could become her first studio project since becoming a name. It also would put her in the shoes of an iconic character.

The Gersh-repped actress is currently shooting the Breaking Dawn movies, but the Snow White team has been making repeated overtures even as late as last week.

[From The Hollywood Reporter]

Ugh, Viggo is in talks too? Maybe when Viggo hears about K-Stew, he’ll pull out as well, because Viggo and K-Stew on screen together would be a million kinds of wrong.

I kind of hate that Kristen is one of the go-to young actresses now. I like her a bit more than Blake Lively, but basically Blake and Kristen are the same kind of actress: bad. Like, they have some tricks, but little method.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

Posted in Kristen Stewart, Viggo Mortensen

Written by Kaiser         85 Comments »
Apr 6
'09
Viggo Mortensen might quit acting, is “melancholic”

Viggo Mortensen
50-year-old Viggo Mortensen, whose acting credits include everything from Texas Chainsaw Massacre and G.I. Jane to Lord of the Rings and Eastern Promises, might be quitting the acting game. Although he has two movies coming out this year and is rumored to be attached to one for 2010, he says that the actor’s life of traveling to promote movies (and, presumably, do the interview cited below), is “not healthy.”

“In the past week I’ve been from LA to Japan to Korea to Poland to here,” he hisses, describing in near disbelief the travel itinerary for his current promotional tour. “It’s ridiculous! It’s not a healthy way to be. But, as it happens, I’m taking measures to change that.” Which are? “No more movies. I haven’t said yes to one in over a year. I’ve been in all these well-received movies and it seems like I should be doing some more, but there’s other things I want to do. It’s not the right time.”

But when will you come back to film-making? When will you know it’s the right time? Long, long, pause. A sigh. “I really don’t know.”

Mortensen has spoken about leaving movies before. “If it all dries up now, I’ve had a good run” is a favourite refrain. But here, in the quiet ground-floor antechamber of a London hotel, he seems more convinced, and convincing, than ever.

[from Times London]

After making it big in the Lord of the Rings trilogy (which he filmed at his now-20-year-old son’s behest), he has been offered many large starring roles, some of which, like Hidalgo, he has accepted. But generally, he has remained a dark character actor. His upcoming movie, Good, is a Nazi drama based on a play and features a scene in which he receives fellatio in full Nazi regalia, and another in which he is naked during a fight scene – neither scenes that leading men would generally agree to do. But this is Viggo we’re talking about. He says that he only needs enough money to send his son Henry to college and to travel.

Viggo has given the “no more movies” spiel before, but he keeps coming back. Hopefully we won’t have to wait too long after Good for Viggo’s chiseled face on the big screen.

Viggo Mortensen is shown at the Empire Awards in London on 3/29/09. Credit: PRPhotos

Posted in Viggo Mortensen

Written by SamHill         12 Comments »
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