Well, the Cannes Film Festival has drawn to a close. Surprisingly, the most Americanized Cannes Film Festival in years had no American winners. There were no French winners either. A French-language film (from an Austrian director), Amour, did take home the Palme d’Or (the biggest prize). Amour is a story about an older man taking care of his wife who has had a stroke, and both roles are played by beloved French actors. From what the Los Angeles Times is saying (read their wrap-up here), the jury liked Garrett Hedlund in On the Road (not enough to give him anything though) and they liked Matthew McConaughey in Mud. Other films that weren‘t received all that well: Lawless (Tom Hardy, Shia LaBeouf film), The Paperboy (that awful-sounding Nicole Kidman film) and Cosmopolis, which didn‘t even get an American distributor. Critics liked Moonrise Kingdom and Killing Them Softly (Brad Pitt’s latest), but there isn’t a lot of early awards buzz for either.

Cannes juror Diane Kruger wore this ridiculous Dior gown for the closing ceremonies. How can you even sit down in that? Also: Bonus Ewan McGregor.

Here are more photos from the closing ceremonies and red carpet at Cannes. Mads Mikkelsen won Best Actor for his portrait of a teacher falsely accused of molesting a student.

Andie MacDowell and her daughter, Sarah Margaret Qualley. Great genes. Andie wore Armani, Sarah wore Elie Saab.

Kylie Minogue, looking pretty (and Botoxy) in Roberto Cavalli.

Alec Baldwin and his 20-something girl, Hilaria Thomas. Her dress looks really budget.

Audrey Tautou in…?? Chanel, maybe? Vintage? I don’t know. I think Audrey is very pretty, but her style is very… cloying. At times.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Goodness, these might be the prettiest Reese Witherspoon photos ever. She’s a photogenic woman under normal circumstances, but the South of France really agrees with her, doesn’t it? Plus, she’s seven months pregnant and glowing. Anyway, Reese was all over Cannes yesterday as she promoted her new film, Mud, with Matthew McConaughey. Reese wore Versace for both the photo call (a great long-sleeved black minidress) and the premiere (a brilliant blue Atelier Versace gown which was super-sexy). Her makeup looked amazing. Her hair… well, there were some minor hair issues, but it was still pretty good and I loved that she seems to be growing out those thick bangs.

When she landed in France, she told Us Weekly, “The flight over was actually pretty good. I feel great. I’m excited about showing the movie. The energy here is great!” Her husband, Jim Toth, came with her, although I see very few photos of him around. He pretty much stands back and lets Reese have the limelight – it feels like a very no-drama marriage.

Anyway, I don’t really have much to say beyond “Jesus, she looks great!” She really does. Some women just look so amazing while pregnant. Reese is one of those ladies – gestating agrees with her.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

As we talked about last week, Nicole Kidman’s Botox-face was looking pretty marble-like throughout her photo calls and premieres in Cannes. So far, Radar is one of the few sites (that I’ve seen) who are really calling her out on it. These are some more photos of Nicole in Cannes, at Friday night’s premiere of Hemingway & Gellhorn. She posed on the red carpet with her costars, Rodrigo Santoro and a muttonchopped Clive Owen. Once again, Nicole’s hair isn’t doing her any favors.

Nicole’s premiere dress was Ralph Lauren. Now… beyond the Botox, I have been enjoying Nicole’s Cannes looks a great deal. She was going through a super-frilly, lacy phase for a while which I absolutely loathed, so I’m glad to see her putting in some effort to give us lots of different “looks” in Cannes. I’m not crazy about this Ralph Lauren gown, but it’s interesting on Nicole. And I think Nicole heard us talking about her bolt-ons, because her nips aren’t assaulting everyone at this premiere.

More photos from Cannes… here’s Kristen Stewart after the Cosmopolis premiere, in Dolce & Gabbana.

Andie MacDowell in unknown black dress. Dislike the dress. Here’s the real question – Andie MacDowell: Good genes or good surgeon? Her face looks different, but she’s achieved a sort of agelessness without looking Botoxy or “worked on”. Andie is also one of the few women that gives me hair-envy.

Camila Alves in Marchesa. I’m surprised Eva Longoria didn’t get to wear this fug frou-frou monstrosity.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I know I’ve called Bump Watch of Kirsten Dunst several times in the past, but seriously, doesn’t Kiki look pregnant here? These are more photos from the Cannes Film Festival amfAR gala last night – Kiki is the reigning Queen of Cannes (she won Best Actress last year), so she gets to be the header of this post. Kiki’s gown is Louis Vuitton – I think it’s fug. I don’t mind her in blue (although this shade is too “precious”), but this dress is – at best – unflattering. Plus, we need to talk about whether Kiki is gestating a little Garrett Hedlund. In the profile shot, I’m not really seeing a “bump”. But look at her boobs! Kiki’s always had a nice bust, but I swear they’re bigger and I swear she’s got a case of Pregnant-Face.

Janet Jackson in Emilio Pucci. Oh, Ms. Jackson. I love you, girl, but we need to talk. I’m proud of you for losing weight, really and truly. But you need to stop messing with your face and you need to find a better makeup artist. And please don’t wear dresses that make your boobs look so wonky.

In another world, in another lifetime, I would love the chance to look like Doutzen Kroes for a day. She’s just so beautiful!! Doutzen wore this white Versace – I think she looks like an old-school, proper supermodel. She’s got that crazy, sexy, athletic-slim body and the Versace looks poured onto her. That’s Sunnery James, her husband and father of her son Phyllon.

Everyone is saying that Kim Kardashian “pulled an Angelina” in this mustard yellow dress (I can’t find the designer ID). I kind of like how everyone calls it “the Angelina” now whenever a girl throws her leg out on the red carpet. It’s been happening a lot lately too – lots of girls have been “pulling the Angelina.” As for Kim’s dress – meh. This shade of yellow is so difficult to pull off, and while it’s not great on Kim, it’s not as bad as it could be. The design is meh. Her face looks decent, though.

Diane Kruger in Chanel. The one time she wears Chanel and I think “Hm, is that Oscar de la Renta?” I’m not crazy about this, honestly. Diane kind of pulls it off with that whimsical little skirt, but her skinny legs worry me. Joshua looks cute.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

One of the biggest headlines to come out of this year’s Cannes Film Festival amfAR gala is the international debut of Aishwarya Rai’s postpartum figure. And that kind of sucks. As we discussed last week, Rai was facing increased criticism in India for not losing her pregnancy weight fast enough. The discussion became an international gossip subject after Indian papers published a recent photo of Rai with a double chin (gasp!). Anyway, the overwhelming majority of people felt like “For the love of God, leave the poor woman alone!!” And after all of that, Aishwarya still came to Cannes and… Lord, this woman is gorgeous. Look at that face. The dress/sari/Mandarin-jacket ensemble is by Abu Jani-Sandeep Khosla. I don’t mind that she went for a more traditional, conservative look, but I would have loved to see her in just a straight-up silk sari in a beautiful jewel tone. Still, I don’t even see what the fuss is all about with her figure – she only looks slightly heavier than she did last year. What’s the BFD?

Georgina Chapman in her own Marchesa design. TRAINWRECK. Good God, does she not see how awful and budget her own designs are while she wears them?

Gerard Butler looks slim and soberish. I wonder if he boned anyone in the bathroom?

Julianna Margulies in L’Wren Scott. Elegant simplicity. Yes, it’s kind of boring, but I adore a cap sleeve when it’s done well. Julianna always looks better when she keeps her style simple, with clean lines and solid colors too. I also love JM’s hair here – I dislike it when she slicks everything back – it ages her. Looser styles compliment her face. My one complaint: the lining seems off somehow and in some photos you can totally see JM’s nips. Also: her husband is so cute.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

When I think about Kate Upton, I have to remind myself that she’s just 19 years old. I keep assuming that she’s in her mid 20s like most of the other bikini and lingerie models on the scene. Along with being very young, she’s used to wearing next to nothing for her job all day. She’s modeling bikinis, not clothes. Still, I’ve been astonished at how poorly dressed and styled she’s been on the red carpet. This is a woman with a figure to die for and gorgeous face. It doesn’t take much to make her look like a million bucks.

So here she is at the amfAR gala in tiered puffy Louis Vuitton with a black and blue ribbon criss-cross pattern. Um, I think I can see through the bottom part of the bodice to her foundation garments. Her bra is also peeping out of the top. Plus she’s paired it with very puffy hairstyle that seems to mirror the unwieldy skirt. You know what this reminds me of? One of those crochet toilet paper covers from the 70s. It’s just so bad. Even her shoes are unflattering. Get it together, girl.

Paris Hilton was also there for some reason, trying to work a long white gown with a see through side panel and a diamond pattern along the front. In some of these photos, I see some humor, gratitude and humility in Paris’ eyes. It’s like she knows she’s no longer hot sh*t and is glad she’s at a big event and getting her photo taken. I like this side of her a lot.

Then she falls back on her signature squinty haughty look and I see the same old Paris. Paris has overaccessorized with diamond and emerald earrings, a bracelet and a necklace. She should have gone with less jewelry.

On Paris’ level we have British Formula One Heiress Tamara Ecclestone in a ridiculous tiny lace and rhinestone mullet dress. Look at the way the trail ruffles up at the waistline. The top is partially see-through and I think I see her nip. To top it off she wore her giant fake hair on the side, and paired the look with gladiator heels. If you’re not familiar with who this is, Tamara is the sister of Petra Ecclestone, who just bought Candy Spelling’s massive home. Tamara has a home in West London worth $70 million, and is a fameho in her own right.

As a palette cleanser, let’s just have some Rodrigo Santoro. I’m usually not into scruffy guys, but he does it for me so much.

Imagine this face peeping out the bathroom door, telling you he’s ready to go out. *sigh*

photo credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet

Tara Reid has been leading the bad fashion parade all week at Cannes, and last night’s AmfAR’s Cinema Against AIDS gala was no exception. Here Tara showed up again with Fawaz Gruosi, her possible 60ish-year-old boyfriend or “arranged companion” or whatever. All we really know is that the dude is a billionare and is far too tan for his own good. Speaking of which, Tara might have been trying to fit in better because she’s wearing a ton of bronzer. While Tara’s grey embroidered dress wasn’t as bad as the one she wore at the de Grisogono bash, this gown committed the ultimate fashion sin of being boring as hell. Tara could’ve dressed it up a bit with a high ponytail, but she chose instead to go with the boring bun. The better to see the drunkness and the overdone bronzer, I guess.

Jessie J wore a Louis Heal gown that I probably would have liked a lot more if it were a solid color instead of a leopard print. The asymmetrical slash across the top of the dress is only for effect because the underlying color doesn’t match Jessie’s skintone, and there’s no cleavage shining through for all to enjoy. However, that slit all the way up the leg is the real deal because check out what happens when she walks! That was almost a booty flash. Jessie’s black ankle booties are funky and fun too.

Milla Jovovich seems slightly improved from her other disastrous Cannes looks in this Atelier Versace gown. I like that she paired her accessories to match the grey-silver-gold metallic fabric of the dress, but the molded bustier cups are seriously freaking me out. The dress also looks rather uncomforable with a corset and boning effect, but sure, it’s better than the rest of the stuff she’s worn this week. Otherwise, Milla does seem really “off” at Cannes this year, and I’m wondering if she’s possibly been replaced by one of the Alice clones from the Resident Evil movies. Either that or she’s gotten some work done on her face, which would be a shame, but hopefully Milla learned something from her vaneer catastrophe and won’t mess with her gorgeous face.

Berenice Bejo wore a Giambattista Valli couture gown with a weather-appropriate orange white print, and she carried one of the Olympia Le Tan “book” clutches. I am not in love with this dress at all, and I think the boring hair and makeup do it no favors either. Such a lackluster look from such a beautiful woman.

Photos courtesy of WENN

Here we have a few more women from the amfAR gala. (Some of our earlier coverage is here.) I’m not a big follower of fashion, and I’ll be honest I don’t know a lot about designers. Even I could ID this horrible see-through number as Marchesa on first glance. This is not cute, it’s not cheeky, and it looks like a bad excuse for a sexy bridal dressing gown. There are multiple see-through layers to this asymmetric dress, it’s got lace strategically placed to cover up Klum’s lady bits, and it just looks awful. I know Klum likes to push the fashion envelope, but it baffles me that anyone could step out of the house like this. The Fashion Patrol has a photo of this on the runway, and the dress doesn’t even look good on the model. I’ll say something nice, but not about this dress – she looked much, much better at The Paperboy premiere, where she was also wearing Marchesa and had the foresight to wear her hair half-down. It just looks greasy here.

Look you can see her undies from the side.

As a counterpoint, I’ll include Nina Dobrev in an amazing blue sequin off the shoulder Elie Saab. I wanted to headline this story with Nina, because I just love to see her on the red carpet. Nina looking killer is not news though. (Neither is Heidi looking fug, but still.) I admire how Nina, just 23, seems so in control of her fashion. She switches up her look frequently, and she doesn’t seem to have a go-to designer or a comfort zone that she falls back on. I could gush about Nina for a while. I even like her slicked back hair here, it emphasizes her features. Look at that slit. It’s just high enough to be incredibly sexy, without the danger of showing too much. Those silver strappy Jimmy Choo heels are perfect.

Here’s Kylie Minogue looking off her game in red Emilio Pucci. I don’t like the cut or style of the dress, which is slightly unflattering from some angles. From the side it’s really striking, but the dress does seem a little weird with all those cut-out areas along with the squarish deep neckline. It’s a risky look and she seems uncomfortable.

Also in red we have Petra Nemcova, and I feel confident guessing that this is also Marchesa, since Petra wears that label consistently. I’m torn because I love the color and fit of the dress, but find it uninspired with that single detail of feathers around the bodice. Petra pulls it off with attitude, a sleek up-do, and a really amazing necklace. I wonder how many carats she has around her neck. Those silver bow shoes are goofy, though, and she shouldn’t be showing them off.

There’s a reason Michelle Rodriguez plays the army chick in every movie. Even when she’s dripping in beautiful diamonds and wearing a perfectly lovely formfitting fishtail gown, she still looks like she’s about to kick your ass. I like how her personality shines through on the red carpet, though. She’s true to herself and it shows.

Photo credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet, Inc.

These are some just-released photos of this evening’s Cannes Film Festival premiere of The Paperboy, starring Nicole Kidman, John Cusack, Zac Efron and Matthew McConaughey. I already covered today’s earlier photo call here. For the premiere, Nicole wore this… raspberry (?) Lanvin gown. I’m usually not big on Lanvin – I think the label is so overrated – but this is a lovely dress, and it looks great on Nicole. It’s a much better color for her than that orange-red earlier to day. I’m also loving her hairstyle here – I love a loose updo. My one complaint? I really feel like Nicole tweaked her nips before walking the red carpet. Either that, or it’s really cold in Cannes?

Incidentally, the early reviews of The Paperboy have been BRUTAL. Most critics think it’s a POS, and Nicole Kidman is a total hot mess in it. Vulture carried a spoiler-filled piece about one particular scene in the film – apparently, Zac Efron gets tung by a jellyfish and Nicole’s character urinates all over his chest. And Nicole is actually doing it, for real, on screen. You can read the Vulture piece here.

More photos – Nicole’s Botox-face looks better in these pics. The back of her dress is really cool too – that backstrap thing is nice. John Cusack looks like hell. Zac Efron looks 14 years old.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

We covered the On the Road photo call earlier today – go here to see. These are some of the early photos from tonight’s red carpet premiere in Cannes. Just know that all of the photos haven’t come in yet and this post is just for the early ones, so you can talk about fashion and stuff. You know what’s nice? Robert Pattinson came out to support Kristen Stewart’s film! I think that’s sweet. I didn’t even realize Sparkles had arrived in Cannes yet (I’m not a Twihard) – his film promotional work doesn’t start until Friday, I think. So he came early to spend time with Kristen and to support her film. Sweet.

As far as I can see, Sparkles and Kristen didn’t pose together on the carpet – she was too busy with her cast. As for Kristen Stewart’s dress… it’s Balenciaga. She wore Balenciaga earlier today, and I’m guessing her fashion contract means she has to wear the label for day and night appearances. This dress is pretty – it’s not blowing me away, but at least it’s not some hideous, fur-ball Marchesa.

Kiki Dunst looked… eh. I’ll say something nice about this Dior – it’s an interesting color choice for her. Kiki often chooses the lightest creams, whites and pastels, and it’s nice to see her in something bold. But I’m not crazy about this dress. Also: I’m really starting to wonder if she IS pregnant after all.

Ah, VIGGO!!! Why does he look so hot to me right now?

PS… Name that ginger. I can’t.

Photos courtesy of WENN.