Gwyneth Paltrow‘s jumpoff is Matthew Morrison? NO! [A Socialite Life]
Jared Leto does Kurt Cobain. Ugh, I can‘t believe some of you like Jared. [Dlisted]
Damn, now I want to watch The Kennedys. [LaineyGossip]
Behead‘s Helen Hunt career assessment. Helen Hunt is still around? [Pajiba]
Flip-flops are evil? Shut your douche mouth!!! [Gawker]
Audrina Patridge on the beach with her awesome drunk mom! [Yeeeah]
Rest In Peace, Amanda Bynes‘ dog. [The Blemish]
Robert Pattinson‘s jumpoff is an elephant. YAY! [Agent Bedhead]
Ooooh… Julianne Moore as Hilary Clinton! [PopEater]
Britney Spears is on the cover of Us Weekly. [Celebuzz]
Scarlett Johansson is playing an alien organ sucker? [IDLITW]
Ryan Gosling, now with less Olivia Wilde! [Pop Sugar]
Sienna Miller won‘t get a part in the third Batman movie. [Crazy Days and Nights]
Kim Kardashian gushes about Kris Humphries. [LimeLife]
More ass and grundle photos from Chris Noth. [ICYDK]
Amber Rose wants attention. [Bossip]
Lady Gaga is godmother to Elton John‘s baby? [The Frisky]

I feel like Eva Longoria is about to start tap dancing. [Hollywood Rag]
Vanessa Hudgens wears something other than a pageant gown! [Go Fug Yourself]
Bret Michaels‘ “sexy” chat with Kim Kardashian. [PopBytes]
First Dimple Parade paparazzi photos in a long time – Jennifer Garner‘s Arthur promotional duties have officially begun! [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
I know you‘re going to yell, but I actually think LeAnn looks like she‘s gained some weight back. [Evil Beet]
Ali Larter and baby Theodore. [I’m Not Obsessed]
Video of Justin Bieber setting his mom on fire. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Kathy Griffin in a bikini. One word: Casper. [INFDaily]
Hilary Duff has got a somewhat large booty. [Celebslam]
Scott Pelley replacing Katie Couric? He has predator eyes. [Bitten and Bound]
Video tease of Britney‘s “Til the World Ends”. [Radar]
Sean Hayes cast as Larry in The Three Stooges. Not bad. [The Celebrity Café]
Jordana Brewster on Maxim or one of those magazines. [Celebs]
Helena Bonham Carter is not amused. [CityRag]
I was never into Thundercats. I liked Gem & the Holograms. [Starpulse]
I want to see this movie, Hanna. Starring La Blanchett! [Moviefone]

Michael Fassbender & the rest of the X-Men: First Class cast get the 1960s treatment for Total Film. I want to hump that Fassbender cover. [Pajiba]
Snooki on WWE. Ugh. [Dlisted]
God, Amanda Seyfried is just so, so dumb. [LaineyGossip]
Orlando Bloom‘s bonzai & butt crack. [Gawker]
Denise Richards in a bikini. Looking good, Denise! [Yeeeah]
Were the country music people nice to Sparkles Pattinson? [A Socialite Life]
Audrina Patridge in a bikini. Her bolt-ons are sketchy. [The Blemish]
I love Eva Green. I considered her for Hot Girl Friday. [Agent Bedhead]
Rosie O‘Donnell is Team Breezy? Ugh, Rosie! [PopEater]
Alex O‘Loughlin‘s body is hot, but his ink is weird. [Celebuzz]
I don‘t get why boys are suddenly all over Kate Upton. [IDLITW]
Sean Penn‘s old-man moobs on a jog. [Pop Sugar]
I want this blind item to be about a Jonas brother. [Crazy Days and Nights]
Will Waity Katy have to sign a pre-nup? (Answer: No.) [LimeLife]
Sarah Jessica Parker takes her twins out – they‘re walking! [ICYDK]
Is Rihanna about to drop Jay-Z as her manager?! [Bossip]
The best pregnant-lady photo shoot EVER. [The Frisky]

Prince William shows grand-mummy around, plus Prince Harry actually says: “We’ll make sure that we dig [Will] in the ribs a few times and embarrass him. Make him lose some hair.” BURN. [LaineyGossip]
God I love that scene with John Hannah in Four Weddings & a Funeral. [Pajiba]
Knut drowned! Sad. [Dlisted]
HAMM DONG. With 30 Rock‘s Jack McBrayer! Weird. [Celebuzz]
Kanye West is boning Kate Upton? Boy loves his models. [IDLITW]
Is Tom Brady doing a Beyonce-style booty-pop? [Pop Sugar]
Adam Lambert parties too hard for Gaga. That‘s saying something. [A Socialite Life]
OMG, J-Love Hewitt‘s latest fashion disaster!!! [Yeeeah]
Josh Hopkins gets naked for Courteney Cox. [PopBytes]
Justified gets a third season – more Olphandong! [Agent Bedhead]
Alicia Silverstone is really, really, REALLY pregnant. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
I hate to admit it but… I love Kim Kardashian‘s dress. [Evil Beet]
Emma Roberts shops. And shops some more. [I’m Not Obsessed]
Eric Balfour explains… something. He‘s hot. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Ruh-roh. Miley is hanging out with Liam Hemsworth again. [ONTD]
Courtney Love slams Kelly Osbourne. [PopEater]
Gross. Like Jackson Pollack, only with paint vomit. [Gawker]

Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s latest catastrophic outfit. [ICYDK]
Candace Swanepoel is, like, radically thin. [Celebslam]
Carrie Underwood attached a mushroom to this dress. [Go Fug Yourself]
Kingston Rossdale gets all the ladies‘ digits. [The Blemish]
Leo DiCaprio makes $5 million a day (for one commerical). [Crazy Days and Nights]
Angelina Jolie in comic-book form. Sketchy, very sketchy. Get it? [LimeLife]
Lady Gaga‘s latest airport look. Not that bad, honestly. [The Frisky]
Mathew Knowles is secretly pissed that Beyonce fired him. [Bossip]
A dachshund stuck in a sweatshirt! Aw. [INFDaily]
Emily is moving to Austin to be with Brad the Bachelor. [Bitten and Bound]
Lindsay Lohan in another jewelry store, pre-heist. [Radar]
Ryan Gosling & Sean Penn to work together? [The Celebrity Café]
Abbie Cornish is topless & bland on the cover of Esquire. [Celebs]
Gisele Bundchen‘s latest fug photoshoot. [CityRag]
Amber Heard is a bunny. [Starpulse]
Will Ferrell‘s latest movie, with a creepy poster. [Moviefone]

Taylor Swift dresses like a 5-year-old. By the way, is THIS LaineyGossip blind item about Swifty? [Celebuzz]
I had the strongest premonition the other day about Goop & Chris Martin too – I don‘t think they‘re going to make it another three months either. [LaineyGossip]
Colin Firth: Bedhead‘s career assessment. [Pajiba]
I tweeted this earlier: Courtney Love on Edward Norton getting engaged? [Dlisted]
More photos of Sofia Vergara being gorgeous. [IDLITW]
Courteney Cox frolics with a costar. [Pop Sugar]
Adam Lambert & his boyfriend are cute together. [A Socialite Life]
Kathy Griffin topless. Ew. [Yeeeah]
Do you guys like Patrick Wilson? Here are some pics of him all sweaty. [PopBytes]
Katie Holmes‘ parallels to Jackie Kennedy. [Agent Bedhead]
Rebecca Gayheart & baby Billie. Billie is cute! [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
There‘s a rumor that Isabella Cruise wants to live with her mom now. [Evil Beet]
Shakira is dating a hottie named Gerard Pique. [I’m Not Obsessed]
PEEP PUNCH BUGGIE! [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
I wish I could afford to do this. Ginnifer Goodwin is lucky! [PopEater]
If I was this guy, I think I might eat a gun. This is so horrible! [Gawker]

Britney Spears was on GMA this morning, and her “choreography” is hilarious. [The Celebrity Café]
Olivia Williams, this is unflattering. [Go Fug Yourself]
Elijah Wood: bong-smoker. [The Blemish]
There are nude & raunchy photos of Christina Aguilera floating around. [Crazy Days and Nights]
Jack Nicholson‘s daughter Loraine is so pretty! [LimeLife]
Britney Spears says she‘s touring with Enrique Iglesias. Enrique says, “Um…” [ICYDK]
This is the stupidest Calvin Klein-ad controversy EVER. [The Frisky]
Lamar & Khloe are so cheese-ball. I love it! [Bossip]
David Beckham & Sofia Vergara do… something. Hopefully, each other. [INFDaily]
Goddamn, Katherine McPhee is a skinny bitch. [Celebslam]
Poster for The Hangover II. [Bitten and Bound]
Rosie O‘Donnell is coming back to TV, thanks to Oprah. [Radar]
Brooklyn Decker‘s boobs in a bikini. [Celebs]
Happy birthday, Elle MacPherson. [CityRag]
Alice Cooper & Lady Gaga: The Photo. [Starpulse]
The top 40 Actresses over 40. [Moviefone]
Kourtney Kardashian or Olivia Munn? [CoverAwards]

Prince Harry‘s ginger dong is going to the North Pole?!? [A Socialite Life]
Chloe Moretz needs to close her mouth and go to school. [LaineyGossip]
Sucker Punch failed to deliver, SHOCK. [Pajiba]
Jake Gyllenhaal loves his Wii and his Whitney Houston. [Dlisted]
Selena Gomez in blue. It‘s not her color, to say the least. [Celebuzz]
Christina Aguilera‘s K-Fed is sticking around. For now. [IDLITW]
Rihanna‘s Rolling Stone cover is… amazing. Iconic, even. [Pop Sugar]
Eva Amurri‘s Maxim photo shoot – her body is amazing. [Yeeeah]
James Marsden, just because he‘s cute. [PopBytes]
Paris Hilton hugs some black people to prove she‘s not a racist. [Agent Bedhead]
Mariah Carey‘s enormous BUTTERFLY BUMP!! [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Anne Hathaway in a bikini. [Evil Beet]
Trailer for ‘Last Night‘ – don‘t tell CB her meathead boyfriend Sam Worthington is in it! He actually looks kind of hot, though. [I’m Not Obsessed]
I think The Hoff is molesting this chick. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Ina Garten is going to fit that sick kid into her schedule after all. [ONTD]
Dr. Drew paid Michael Lohan to get therapy. Ugh. Gross. [PopEater]
Trailer for Woody Allen‘s latest, Midnight in Paris. Michael Sheen looks good. The rest is meh. [Gawker]

Ina Garten is a snobby bitch, doesn‘t want to make dinner for a sick kid. [Dlisted]
Which mutant is hotter: Rose Byrne or Jennifer Lawrence? [Pajiba]
Tom Ford judges you for wearing shorts and flip-flops. [Gawker]
I would do Mary-Louise Parker. She seems like a firecracker. [LaineyGossip]
Chris Brown‘s female publicist quit. Shocking! [The Blemish]
Ooh, I would do Doutzen Kroes as well! [Yeeeah]
Linnocent wants to be a zombie. For real. [Agent Bedhead]
Two seconds after this shot, Christina Aguilera passed out cold. [The Frisky]
Penelope Cruz talks about Johnny Depp‘s fart machine. [PopEater]
Rumer Willis‘s head debuts off-Broadway. Head. [Celebuzz]
Blake Lively shows off her —- in a sarong. [IDLITW]
Russell Simmons defends Chris Brown. Ugh. [PopBytes]
George Lopez apologizes to Kirstie Alley, but she‘s holding a grudge. [ICYDK]
Elizabeth Taylor was friends with James Dean too. [A Socialite Life]
Small dong blind item: Jessica Biel & JT, right? [Crazy Days and Nights]
Miley Cryus has a creepy stalker. No, he doesn‘t have a mullet. [LimeLife]
Jude Law is maybe the best “poser” ever. I love his faces! [Pop Sugar]

Donation page for Make a Wish!

George Lopez is an a–hole. Womanizing douche. [Evil Beet]
This is what Abbie Cornish should have worn to the Sucker Punch premiere. [Celebslam]
Bryce Dallas Howard, you look ridic. [Go Fug Yourself]
Natalie Portman is getting really big. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Penn Badgley, do not attempt the beard. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Whoopi Goldberg vs. Donald Trump in the battle of “who cares?” [I’m Not Obsessed]
What Wendy Williams has to say about Chris Brown. [Bossip]
I LOVE Reese Witherspoon‘s jacket. [INFDaily]
What is Daniel Craig up to these days? [The Celebrity Café]
The American Idol mansion is haunted. [Bitten and Bound]
RHODC: DOA? [Radar]
Behind-the-scene of Megan Fox‘s Armani ad. [Celebs]
Bendy Kittehs!!!! [CityRag]
Apparently, Trey Parker & Matt Stone‘s The Book of Mormon is a really, really awesome Broadway musical. [Starpulse]
Have we forgiven George Lucas yet? No? [Moviefone]
Mia Wasikowska covers Blackbook, looks really awesome. [CoverAwards]

Oh, and bitches: if you follow me on Twitter, I’ll be doing some previews of HGF tonight!