There are a lot of things that offend me in life. Rude shoppers at the grocery store. Dogs in restaurants. PT Cruisers. But one of the things I find even more offensive than the world’s stupidest car is the world’s stupidest person recording an album. And the fact that it’s her second album just makes it all the worse. That’s right; Paris Hilton says she’s completed all the work on her second CD. Never mind that her first CD didn’t sell and got predictably horrible reviews.

Paris Hilton may not be dating a rocker anymore, but she still has music on her mind. The celebutante caught up with EW.com backstage at last week’s American Music Awards and told us that she has finished her second album, featuring production by Mike Green (Paramore, the Matches), and is deciding what to do next, now that she’s no longer at Warner Bros. Records. “I wrote all the songs,” Hilton beamed. “It’s very dance, like Kylie Minogue.” As for who might put it out? “I’m figuring it out right now,” she said. “I’m not sure which label I’m doing it with.”

[From Hollywood Insider]

She wrote all the songs? That’s definitely the best way to ensure they suck a million times more than “Stars are Blind.” I would love to hear how a Paris Hilton-penned lyric would go. Something tells me it involves very obvious rhymes like “cat” and “sat.” It just goes to show what money and a wonky face will get you. Considering Paris is a promotion professional, it said a lot about her music that she didn’t promote her first album at all. I assumed that meant someone knocked some sense into her, but I guess that was just a pipe dream.

Here’s Paris launching ‘Fairy Dust By Paris Hilton’ at Macy’s at the Woodbridge Center Mall in New Jersey yesterday. Is it me or is she definitely getting uglier? Images thanks to WENN and Fame.

Benji Madden and Paris Hilton have definitely broken up, according to multiple reputable sources. Paris doomed the relationship from the start by constantly yapping about how Benji was the love of her life and all the babies she wanted to have right away with him. Paris ended the relationship, and Benji was said to be fairly upset about it. According to Fox News’ Pop Tarts, Benji is known to be somewhat controlling, and he and Paris were constantly butting heads about it. It sounds like it’s all for the best, and now Paris can get back to doing what she really loves: skanking it up.

Paris Hilton is fed up with being out of the spotlight and has dumped her boyfriend of nine months, Good Charlotte rocker Benji Madden, to resume partying. Hilton publicist Alanna McCarthy said yesterday the two “remain very good friends.” But the heiress caused quite a splash in Miami over the weekend, when photos surfaced of her coyly whispering into the ear of her ex Stavros Niarchos at Liv nightclub in the rebuilt Fontainebleau hotel. “Paris was with all her BFFs from the show,” one source told us.

Missing in action was Benji, who was in New York Sunday. Our source told us that Hilton was the one who ended it, and, “Benji was really upset when the photos [of her and Niarchos] came out.”

[From Page Six]

Pop Tarts says that this isn’t the first time Benji’s control issues broke up a relationship, and that they were a big factor in Sophie Monk ending their engagement. They also hint that Benji was jealous of Paris’ empty flirting relationship with Prince William.

So went wrong between the joined-at-the-lip twosome? It seems that Hilton and Madden recently sealed a rumored six-figure deal to swing by Australia on New Year’s Eve to attend the launch party for a new social online networking system, Bongo Virus. Paris is booked to be the host of the bash, while Benji is set to do the spinning.

According to an insider associated with the Australian company, Prince William may have had plans to meet up with Paris to ring in the New Year, having spent quite some time with her while she’s been filming her “My BFF” show in London.

So did Prince William’s extra attention irk Benji? According to an inside source, the ultra-quiet Benji can be well, kind of controlling, which apparently played a significant role in his split from former fiancée Sophie Monk. And given Paris’s perennial partying lifestyle and love of the nightlife, things just weren’t smooth sailing.

[From Pop Tarts]

If their characterization of Madden is right, he probably thought he could get Paris to settle down and behave herself the same way Joel got Nicole Ritchie to. Of course Joel had to get Nicole pregnant first, something Benji was smart enough not to do with Paris. Considering how often Paris has blabbered on about wanting babies, I’m pretty surprised that she’d pick partying over Benji, controlling or not. I always thought she seemed like the sort who would sacrifice every part of her identity for a guy, but I guess I was wrong. I don’t know if the breakup means Paris is smarter than I thought or even more stupid. But I do know every eligible male on both coasts better start popping some Valtrex, just to be safe.

Here’s Paris in Beverly Hills on Tuesday at Portofino airbrush tanning salon. Images thanks to Fame.

She’s been going out of her way to tell the world that her relationship with Good Charlotte’s Benji Madden is more than a fling, but Star Magazine is confirming that Paris Hilton is now single again. Tongues were wagging earlier this week when the serial dating heiress was spotted getting more than a little chummy with ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos in Miami. The exes were getting rather touchy-feely while Benji was noticeably absent. Sources say Paris kicked him to the curb because he was “too controlling” - which is code for “he had a problem with Paris screwing other guys.”

It’s splitsville for Paris Hilton and Benji Madden.
Days after Paris was “all over” her ex Stavros Niarchos, the heiress dropped the Good Charlotte rocker like a bad habit, telling him he was “too controlling” and that she needed her freedom back, a source tells Star exclusively.

Shortly after their breakup, which took place on Nov. 17, Paris let her hair down at Villa nightclub, where she partied with her sister, Nicky, and Nicky’s boyfriend David Katzenberg. The following night she was also without Benji when she hit the hot spot Apple Paris.

“Paris was fed up with Benji always telling her what to do and bossing her around,” says the insider. “She couldn’t take his overbearing ways anymore. It was stressing her out. He can be very aggressive and he was just too much trouble.”

Benji didn’t take the breakup well, says the source. “He fought for a second chance and asked if they could talk it out but Paris said she was done talking,” reveals the insider.

The demise of Paris and Benji’s relationship, after nine months of dating, didn’t happen overnight. “They’ve had “a lot of fights in the past,” says the source. The nail in the coffin was a showdown over Paris’ flirty night out with her ex-boyfriend Stavros on Saturday.

“Benji didn’t like it that she spent the evening with Stavros,” says the source. “He blew up and Paris felt victimized. He gave her a lot of grief about that.”

They bottom line is that they were just different people. “She felt she couldn’t cut loose and party,” says the source. “He doesn’t drink and doesn’t think she should either. She felt too fenced in.”

[From Star magazine]

Keep in mind that this is Star magazine- a publication only loosely acquainted with the truth on its best day. But it was strange that Paris was so public about cuddling up to her ex when she’s been telling everyone that she and Benji are serious. For the last nine months, she’s managed to dial back the sluttiness and behave like an actual girlfriend. No coke-fueled all-nighters, no cooch-flashing- just low-level annoying Paris idiocy. If she and Benji really are finished, does that mean we’ll see Paris the Hobag’s not-so-triumphant return?

Header photo of Paris Hilton and Benji Madden looking less than happy together at the premiere of her new movie, “Repo!” on Nov. 6. Gallery photo of Paris and Benji on Nov. 11, below, is the last time the pair was photographed together. Photos of Paris alone and looking glum today in West Hollywood. Photo credits: Bauergriffin.

Here’s a puzzling bit of news for you: Paris Hilton – despite being incapable of acting - has been cast in a film by well-respected director Todd Solondz. And it actually looks like a good film. At least it did, until Paris’ name was associated with it.

Paris Hilton BFF with . . . Todd Solondz?

The indie filmmaker’s newest ensemble project, a dramatic family comedy set against the backdrop of a war, features the socialite alongside Allison Janney, Charlotte Rampling and Paul Reubens.

The producers describe the untitled project as a “part-sequel, part-variation” on Solondz’s dark 1998 family saga “Happiness.”

Hilton is currently in theaters, along with Paul Sorvino and Sarah Brightman, with the low-budget horror musical “Repo! The Genetic Opera.”

[From Reuters]

It’s important to note that Paris has gotten some of the worst reviews in recent memory for her role in “Repo!” I don’t think anything – or anyone – has been so universally panned since Lindsay Lohan’s legendary “I Know Who Killed Me.”

In other Paris news, she and boyfriend Benji Madden are planning on spending New Years in Sydney, hosting a pay-per-view party. Lucky Australians can attend in real life, but the rest of us losers can join the party via the internet for a mere $5. What a bargain.

LOCK up your boyfriends - Paris Hilton is about to add more fireworks to Sydney’s New Year’s Eve celebrations when she hits town later this year. The celebrity ‘it’ girl and the beau she souvenired from Aussie starlet Sophie Monk have confirmed they will be the star guests at the launch of a new online social networking system, Bongo Virus.

Hilton’s rocker boyfriend Benji Madden will also DJ at the VIP party which will be streamed live around the world. The pay-per-view party will be an invite-only affair for those on the ground in the Harbour city, but for $US5 the desperate and dateless can log on to celebrate with The Simple Life star.

In a press release from the event’s organisers, Hilton is quoted as saying, “I love the idea … Sydney is going to go off this New Year’s Eve … I can’t wait to be partying with the Aussies and Benji deejaying by my side.”

[From News.com]

It is really hard not to make a ton of jokes about Paris Hilton being involved in anything labeled a virus. Seriously, regardless of her involvement, what a horrible name for a product. It just begs for herpes jokes. Or jokes about how Paris Hilton is a virus in general. The article mentions that she was paid half a million dollars for her last party appearance in Australia two years ago, but estimates that with the state of the economy she’s probably had to take a cut rate. I’m hoping it’s somewhere around the $5 the rest of us get to pay to see her.

Here’s Paris “out and about” yesterday in L.A. Images thanks to WENN, Bauer-Griffin, and Fame.

Paris Hilton seems like she’s pretty proud of the role she played in the election. Her Paris for President videos were pretty funny, though I think I’d prefer Bush’s Scottie dogs to Tinkerbell running around the White House lawn. E! has a story about how Paris thinks her web spoofs really helped mobilize people to get out the vote.

With record turnout expected in tomorrow’s presidential election, Paris Hilton is ready to accept a big thank-you from the winner. Speaking at the press day for her new organ-harvesting musical horror flick Repo! The Genetic Opera, Hilton told E! News that her Paris for President videos totally helped herd young folks in the booths.

“It’s exciting to be involved in the biggest election in history,” she said. “It encourages a lot of young voters to speak their voice and to vote.” Not only did she help mobilize the masses, but she managed to get, like, all kinds of important stuff and things into their heads.

“I was talking about issues and actually making sense but still playing with my image at the same time,” she explained. “Doing it in a ditzy way, but actually saying things I think can really help it along.”

Any advice, then, for tomorrow’s winner? “Whoever becomes the next president has a lot on their hands,” she said. “It’s going to be hard for anyone.” Gee, thanks a lot, Paris.

[From E! News]

I think Paris’ comments were just vague and E! framed them in a self-centered light. I would never want to accuse Paris Hilton of being anything less than totally self-absorbed, but she didn’t say anything that amounted to, “People are voting because of me.” She just said she was “involved” and that’s true. She wasn’t involved in an integral way, but she generated a little bit of buzz.

In other Paris news, she’s told the Daily Beast that she won’t ever get plastic surgery. Which explains why she hasn’t fixed her infamous wonky eye or the often mocked nose. Her reasoning is rather infantile and nonsensical. She says it makes people look older.

While Paris Hilton might play a plastic-surgery craving heiress in her new movie Repo: The Genetic Opera, the real-life celebutante says she’s never gone under the knife.

“I love being all-natural,” Paris tells The Daily Beast, adding that those who choose plastic surgery don’t necessarily improve their looks. “They make themselves look older. A lot of girls who are 21, they have a lot of work done and they look 40. It ages you. And you’re going to have to maintain it. By the time you’re 30, you’re going to look like you’re 50. By the time you’re 50, your face is going to fall off.”

[From OK! Magazine]

I guess Paris isn’t technically wrong: bad plastic surgery might make a person look older. But I’m not sure what she’s talking about in terms of plastic surgery generally aging a person. I don’t think it always makes someone look better, but I’ve never noticed it making a person look older. Sure if you go all Jocelyn Wildenstein you’re not going to look younger… or like a human being anymore… but it seems like Paris is talking about regular old cosmetic surgery – nothing exotic.

At least Paris is honest. A lot of celebs say stuff like this even though they have clearly had stuff done. Paris has a small chest (by Hollywood standards) that she manages to work really well with a good bra; she’s got the funny eye that she hasn’t fixed, and she has feet as big as snowshoes. Not that there’s any way to fix that, I just like pointing out her huge feet. Clearly she’s very enamored with both her beauty and her political influence, so it sounds like she’s happy maintaining the status quo.

Here’s Paris outside the Ed Sullivan Theatre for the ‘Late Show With David Letterman’ last night. She entered in the black dress and left in the blue one. Images thanks to WENN.

Paris Hilton became famous for doing absolutely nothing - except for being a skank. Yes, she’s had two reality shows, a music CD and a handful of movies, but ask people what Paris is known for and most people will talk about the sex tape and the vagina-flashing. But in her latest interview, the heiress says she is the victim, who has been exploited by men who want to use her for sex and money.

But sexy Paris Hilton snuggled up to me and simpered that SHE’D been exploited by all the men in her life - hungry for fame and fortune.

Cooing that she has now found true love and Mr Right in rock star Benji Madden, the world’s most talked about blonde broke her silence to condemn that pesky string of exes.

Tearful multi-millionaire Paris fluttered her eyes and told the News of the World: “Every other guy I’ve been out with has used me for money or sex - but in most cases they just want fame. It made it hard to trust people.”

Top of Paris’s treachery hitlist is ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon, now 40. The small-time film producer made millions selling the infamous home-made sex tape of Paris, which was originally leaked on the internet.

In the UK to film her new reality ITV2 show, Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend, she told us: “I loved this guy for three years but he betrayed me. Rick’s a scumbag and I hate him.

“It was just the most horrible thing that’s ever happened to me. So humiliating and embarrassing. But at the end of the day, I didn’t do anything wrong.”

[From News of the World]

Oh, boo hoo. There are just so many things wrong with Paris trying to paint herself as a wholesome, innocent girl manipulated by guys. First off, I’ve seen that sex tape. Paris knew the camera was there - she loved every minute of it and spent the entire time arranging herself and posing so her “good side” was being photographed. Anyone who consents to being filmed should know the risk of that tape being released. And second off, it’s not like Paris wasn’t aware that the men she chose to associate with were notorious scumbags. She’s still best buddies with Joe Francis, her partner in numerous coke binges. As for her claim that men use her for money, Stavros Niarchos and Paris Latsis didn’t need Paris’ money.

My guess is that Paris is trying to rewrite a little history here, now that she has a steady boyfriend. Too bad there are way too many videos and photos that contradict her statements now. But if Paris hadn’t spend the last few years acting like a fame whore, no one would know who she is. Instead of trying to act like it wasn’t her fault, it would probably be better if she just owned up to her antics, chalked them up to being young and stupid, and moved on.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Paris Hilton is shown shopping at Borders in LA on 11/2 (credit: WENN), outside her car in LA on 11/1 (credit: Fame) and at Heathrow Airport on 10/30/08 (credit: BauerGriffin). She is wearing clothing from her own line with stupid sayings on her t-shirts like “Talk to you never” and “My pink life.” Also look at that rock on her left hand - do you think she’s engaged?

If you were to tell me that Paris Hilton ever worked, I’d tell you to quit lying and go to hell. But it turns out I’d be a major bitch for it, because once in a while Paris really does work. Though I’m sure she’d argue that just living her life is really hard work, Paris actually will put in some time, effort, and energy when required for a job. It’s just that she’ll only do it if it has to do with her vanity.

Watch out, Paris Hilton is getting all smelly on us again as she gets ready to debut another fragrance in her ever-expanding empire. The hotel heiress looks particularly thin in the upcoming campaign for “Fairy Dust” but we’re told there was no airbrushing and that Hilton worked-out like crazy to don a barely-there bikini boob-tube and short skirt.

“Paris didn’t want to be altered so as soon as she found out what she had to wear she went overboard with Pilates classes and exercise,” said an inside source, with another pal confirming that the “My BFF” babe “went totally crazy toning up.”

But the perennial party princess is no stranger to being ethereal and whimsical given her many appearances at Hugh Hefner’s famed annual “Midsummer Night’s Dream” soiree. At this year’s party, Miss Hilton wore her wings with just a see-through nightie and thong, so perhaps she drew inspiration from the Playboy for the perfume.

After all, Hilton is reportedly more than just the face of the fragrance — she’s also the brainchild behind the idea. She wanted to be able to wave a magic wand and bring some “fantasy” to her fans during these tough economic times. (Sweet, but isn’t that name of the perfume her former best friend Britney Spears brought out over three years ago?)

[From Fox News’ Pop Tarts]

Looking at the photo I guess I could possibly believe Paris wasn’t airbrushed. I assume they mean in terms of her shape, because there’s no way an ad agency would let anything out that hadn’t been professionally retouched. No matter how good Paris looks, the perfume itself sounds horrendous, and no taut midsection can change that.

Paris Hilton will launch Fairy Dust, her latest fragrance for women, next month. The ad campaign will feature Hilton as a fairy, and will debut later in the year. Neil Katz of Parlux Fragrances (the company that holds the Paris Hilton fragrance license) noted that “Everybody hates Paris, but she is on the front page”.

Fairy Dust is a floral fragrance developed by perfumer Cecile Krakower. The notes include “sparkling prosecco accord”, pink peony, orange blossom, spring gardenia, water lily, peach nectar, sueded patchouli, cashmere musk and vanilla cream.

[From Now Smell This]

That’s pretty similar to how I imagine Paris actually smells. Too many odors going on, yet remarkably uncomplicated and empty. Ironically I’m guessing the bottles of her perfume will remain mostly full. But at least we know Paris works for her money. Once in a while.

Here’s Paris leaving Mr Chows in London after having dinner on Monday. Images thanks to WENN.

I always think of Paris Hilton as the trustworthy sort. The kind of girl you never have to worry about. The friend that you wouldn’t think twice about leaving your hot drunk, groping boyfriend with. Because Paris is just that upstanding sort of girl that you really don’t need to worry about.

Which must be the case with her and boyfriend of 8 whole months Benji Madden. The pair have been separated for what seems like ages while Paris gallivants around London shooting her “Pretend You Don’t Hate Paris Hilton” show. And while she’s supposedly been flirting it up with every British lad in town (princes not excluded) Paris claims that she and Benji are still very much together and very much in love.

Paris Hilton is not cheating on her boyfriend Benji Madden, as rumors suggested the heiress had been flirting with Princes William and Harry.

During her stay in the UK, where the socialite is filming her new TV series ‘My New BFF’, Hilton was quoted as saying “I have met a really cute English guy, but it’s early days.”

However, Paris has now put the record straight on her meeting with the princes, as she told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show: “They’re very nice boys, very down to earth and sweet but there’s nothing romantic going on at all. They just came up and said hello.”

“There’s no texting going on; I’m reading that I invited them to Las Vegas to a club - that never happened.”

“I have a boyfriend, it’s an eight month anniversary today. I would never say that in a million years and it just annoys me that particularly the media out in the UK, they will not only make up stories, they’ll also go as far to make up quotes that I supposedly said.”

“I’m taken, I don’t put it out that I’m single. Before, I wasn’t in love… I would never hurt him [Benji Madden].”

[From Angry Ape]

That’s funny, because I can’t think of anyone who’s been accused more often of trying to steal other people’s boyfriends than Paris Hilton. So it’s hard to imagine that she give a shit about her own. Paris has been uber “we’re getting married and having a million babies” with Benji since they started dating. Why he didn’t run for the hills in the first place is beyond me. I don’t care how long they’ve been together, there’s no way you can convince me that he loves or even likes her. Everyone’s just assuming Paris is cheating on him because it’s Paris; she’s not someone known for her high moral integrity. I don’t think anyone really thought they broke up, just that she’s skanking around. Which she probably is.

Paris Hilton is shown out in London on 10/18 (blue dress) and 10/20 (green dress), credit: WENN. She is also shown on 10/21 (black dress), credit: Bauergriffinonline.

Paris Hilton has been in London for the past few weeks. I’m sure most Londoners hoped she was just there promoting one of her many product; you know the usual perfume, handbags, large shoes, and cheap hair extensions. But it appears Hilton’s trip may be more sinister than we all thought. She has been hitting the town with an unusual ferocity – even for Paris – and putting down socialite roots… which mean partying a lot and going out to nice dinners.

Paris has startled/upset all of the United Kingdom with her announcement that she is planning on relocating to London permanently. A wave of deep, despondent depression has swept over the entire nation as a result.

Paris Hilton has decided to relocate from her natural Los Angeles habitat to make London her new home.

The hotel heiress may not have been successful in her attempts to attract the attentions of Princes William and Harry on a recent evening out in a swanky Mayfair nightclub, but the 27-year-old’s desire to live in the capital remains undimmed.

Hilton has been renting a £7,500-a-week home in Hampstead while filming a new show for MTV. She told Daily Mail columnist Richard Kay: ‘I love it here, I am going to move here permanently. ‘I have already been here for a month and am much, much happier here.’

The American socialite was among 800 couture-clad friends - made up of royals, aristocrats and society figures - who attended designer Nicky Haslam’s ancestral home in Roehampton for a sumptuous soirée in honour of his friend, art collector Janet de Botton.

And Hilton already has her eye on one particular man.

She said: ‘I love guys with English accents. I have met a really cute English guy, but it’s early days.’

[From the Daily Mail]

I love when the Daily Mail clearly makes up quotes and can’t figure out why the rest of us know it’s hogwash. Very few American’s would say, “It’s early days,” – and certainly not Paris Hilton. That’s a very charming – and very British – phrasing. Paris would have to insert about 12 “likes” and “omg” into a single sentence for it to be believable. And to be totally accurate there should be some mention of her twirling her hair and sucking on the ends of it like a 2-year-old.

On the off chance that quote is utterly fabricated crap, then congrats to London for turning Paris into a semi-decent human being so quickly. She’s all yours.

Here’s Paris Hilton at a store in Notting Hill and posing with a fan and her dog in London today. Images thanks to Bauer-Griffin.